Chapter Text
Hermione Granger-Weasley put down her copy of the The Daily Prophet in disbelief. ‘What the hell is he thinking?!’ she thought, as she stared down at the front page article, which featured a very roguish looking Harry Potter-Black grinning back at her.
It was a Saturday morning, and Hermione was sitting at her kitchen table, for her Ron-enforced ‘read the newspaper and drink some tea because you are too stressed otherwise’ morning activity. Ron sat down at the table, looked at his wife and then down at the newspaper and grinned.
Lord Potter-Black announces first post-war Bacchanalia as an ‘act of forgiveness’
By Lavender Brown-Patil
In an unprecedented move, Harry Potter-Black, the Boy-Who-Conquered has announced that he and his husband Draco Potter-Black will host the traditional wizarding celebration at their London home of Grimmauld Place.
The Potter-Blacks are notoriously private individuals; though they can be seen frequently with their respective friends in Diagon Alley and Muggle London, neither have given a media interview in years, not even as Harry led the Islington Icicles in their victory in their first year in the British Quidditch League.
‘A Wizarding Bacchanalia party is seen as a place where invited friends, family and rivals can come together in a celebration of love and forgiveness. Five years on from the war, I think we could all use some unity,’ said Harry to this reporter, as he sat on the sofa in his living room.
‘Draco convinced me that a Bacchanalia might just be thing that we need.’
For those who are unaware, the wizarding celebration used to be incredibly popular and common before the war with Grindlewald. One of the oldest European Wizarding traditions, it dates back to ancient Greek and Roman times, and was one of the celebrations that wizards shared with Muggles before the Witch Hunts.
Despite the popularity, the first Wizarding Civil War with Voldemort drew attention to other matters and there hasn’t been a publicly announced Bacchanalia in the United Kingdom since the 1955 Black Bacchanalia at Black Manor.
For many Muggleborns and Half-Blood, you may not know what happens at a Bacchanalia, aside from a gathering with food and drink. That is part of the mystery, however Draco Potter-Black assures me that invited members will be given a brief guide.
‘Harry wants this to be a true celebration and we don’t want any of our friends to be left out.’
Ron looked at Hermione expectantly. ‘So, what do you think Mione?’
‘Don’t you Mione me!’ Hermione snapped. ‘What the hell is a Bacchanalia? I know Harry wanted some help for an event he was planning, but we were supposed to be doing the event planning tomorrow!’
‘Harry told me, but also, apparently its traditional for the party to be announced before any of the planning happens. That’s what Great Aunt Muriel told us, at least.’
‘You haven’t told me the answer to my first question! I know what Muggles think what a Bacchanalia, that is almost nothing at all because they were a mystery cult practice, but I didn’t know wizards still celebrated it. It was never mentionned in History of Magic and it wasn't in the library!’
‘It would never be mentionned at Hogwarts, it would be too inappropriate. There’s no better way to describe it, as well, please don’t freak out…’ Ron looked at Hermione with a pleading expectation.
Hermione raised an eyebrow at her husband. ‘Yes?’
Ron sighed. ‘It’s a sex party.’
...
‘EXCUSE ME?!’
‘I told you not to freak out! Dad and mum told all of us at fifteen, as part of our usual ‘phoenixes and hippogriffs’ talk. They said that the magic of the party makes people more agreeable and less likely to fight. People freely have sex with no hard feelings or cheating involved. Hard to think the village drunk is a menace when he’s railing you on a bannister, was what Mum said.’ Ron shuddered at the implication that Xenophilius Lovegood had sex with his mum just before she was pregnant with Ginny. Ginny had the 'Talk' at the same time as Ron and had promptly fainted.
...
Hermione was speechless. She and Ron has been a bit adventurous in the bedroom, and Ron told her in confidence that he might be a bit bisexual, especially as she pegged him from behind that one weekend. But this? She didn’t realise that the Wizarding World had such a...hedonistic tradition.
‘You know what? Go to talk to Mum. Yes, it will be awkward, but it’s better than getting ‘The Talk’ from Malfoy when you go see them tomorrow. Could you even imagine?’ Ron winced at the thought, getting up and walking towards the fireplace.
He picked up some floo powder and shouted ‘The Burrow!’ before sticking his head in the fire. Hermione watched as Ron had his head down for a few minutes. She was furious and annoyed. She would have to punish Ron's perfect ass (she couldn't help but stare at it) some other time though as he backed out.
'Mum already read the article this morning and she's prepared for you. Dad is there too. Might as well have some breakfast there while you're at it,' Ron explained, dusting some ashes off his clothes.
Hermione rolled her eyes at him. 'I am sure your parents will explain it better than you. I'm sure it's more than an orgy. Also, I am still furious, so you better make it up to me tonight,' she said, giving him a glare.
She picked up the floo powder and went through the fireplace. Her last thought before leaving was 'at least this day can't get any worse.'
Hermione would, in fact, be wrong.