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Hearing Bea explain that she never had an alcoholic drink except for tiny sips of communion wine makes Ava exceptionally giddy with excitement.
“This is gonna be great.”
“What is?” Beatrice asks warily.
“I get to be the one who gets you drunk for the first time!” Ava nearly squeals.
Despite Bea’s protest, she follows Ava to the bar and watches as Hans lines up two shots. Ava knows her persuasion was successful. But then it always seems to be easy for Ava to get Bea to do things, she doesn’t necessarily want to do or has never done before. It’s not like Ava has thought about it all too much. Only sometimes, she lets herself feel special because of it. Being special for Bea is the best feeling, and she slowly but surely comes to realize why.
When Beatrice remarks that it smells lemony in her matter of fact, analytical way, Ava can’t help but move closer and closer till her lips almost touch Bea’s perfectly shaped ear lope - a feature she can’t help marvel about ever since Bea has deposited her wimple.
“Yeah, that’s why it’s called a lemon drop,” she replies cheekily. She knows her voice is too loud for the proximity, so she doesn’t take it personally when Bea flinches away.
She watches with amusement as Beatrice scrunches her nose and cautiously takes the first sip.
Feeling far too hot suddenly, Ava takes off her cardigan, leaving her in her black low cut tank top.
After downing her drink, Bea exclaims, “Ooh, it’s sweet! That’s not entirely unpleasant,” smiling this rare big smile that lights up her entire face, and Ava’s heart flutters.
A laugh escapes her, like she can’t hold in her joy. She follows it up with a stupid pun, and when Bea joins in at the last part with the “nun-kind”, she almost feels like she’s floating.
“Zwei mehr,” she shouts at Hans, and that’s only the first of many times she’ll order more shots this evening.
They alternate between drinking and dancing. Sometime throughout the night even Bea has taken off her sweater. Tonight, she wears a short-sleeved shirt with a V-neck that dips lower than Bea’s usual attire, and it’s doing things to Ava.
She can’t help but touch her and hold her hands and pull her closer during their dance. She also can’t help staring at her apparently. It’s not like Bea’s dancing is especially sexy or even always in rhythm with the beat. In fact it’s a bit dorky sometimes, but there’s an underlying elegance to how she moves. A certain grace, Ava has noticed before, that’s so uniquely Beatrice. It’s in the way she fights, but also in the way she holds herself in every day’s life.
This night, there’s something new though, something different. And while Ava stares and stares, she realizes she has never seen Beatrice so open and free, not holding back. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s because for once they both just exist and are having fun without constantly thinking about the whole world lying on their shoulders.
Ava doesn’t know for sure. She just knows she has never seen Bea more beautiful than this, with her hair down and loose, her eyes closed, a blissful smile on her lips, swaying to the music, dancing like no one’s watching, just genuinely enjoying herself. Unburdened, unbound.
It's mesmerizing.
And suddenly it hits Ava.
One simple thought.
Oh.
The world coming to a halt, she falters, practically stops dancing, stops breathing. Not able to take her eyes away from the beautiful woman in front of her, she swallows hard, her throat dry, while her heart is beating out of her chest.
The sudden realization taking over her whole being.
She’s in love with Beatrice.
Oh shit.
Another beat, and she stumbles out of her trance and back into reality. She continues dancing, tries to act like her whole world hasn’t been shaken upside down just now.
It’s not like she hasn’t realized that she’s attracted to both men and women before. It’s not even a new discovery that she’s attracted to Bea, her best friend. She has felt that for some time now.
It’s the fact that she’s actually, truly, utterly, irrevocably in love with Bea. That’s what changes everything.
So, what is she going to do about it now?
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