Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Your little friend from Keramzin... this is her?"

She'd played it off cool when Mikhael had spoken those words, laughing and raising a brow at Mal for an explanation, one she never received.

But as early evening fell around the camp, the words circled around her chest clutching and squeezing at her heart. She'd never admit how much those words stung. Not until she was alone anyway.

The cartographers were too wrapped up in their card game to notice as Alina slipped out of the tent. Though the sun was beginning to set, the camp was still alive, soldiers bustling with last-minute assignments, carrying equipment through to different sections, and drowsily making their way back to their tents. Alina made to go left.

It was only a short walk between the cartographers' tents to the trackers' section, Alina following the route by instinct. She hadn't made the conscious decision to go there, but perhaps if she saw him, perhaps he could set her straight. He always knew what to say to make her feel better, and maybe she didn't even have to explain how it was Mikhael's words that had upset her, Mal didn't need to know the feelings she'd been harbouring since she was eight.

She turned the corner to the trackers' section and froze. Unlike the cartographers who had bunkered down for the evening, the trackers were still outside running riot. A tin can was being kicked around as a football by a group of guys, a crowd cheering them on the outskirts of their pitch. Mal wasn't hard to find, he was the only one in the game shirtless, his top tucked into his trousers, flaring out behind him as he dodged the other players and ran after the tin can. One giant kick sent it flying through the gap between the two crates being used as goalposts, the spectators went wild with their hollering and whoops of joy. Mal was clattered with hugs from his teammates celebrating, but he wasted no time in untangling himself from their grip and rushing over to the sidelines... straight into the arms of another girl.

No wonder he'd described Alina as his 'little friend' from back home if this was what he had instead.

She was pretty, no, not just pretty- she was beautiful. With golden hair that fell around her face in soft curls, wide blue eyes that stared into his as she leant towards him...

Alina had to look away, she couldn't bear to watch as her best friend locked lips with another girl.

She turned and ran before anyone could spot her, as far away as she could get from the tracker section. Her heart beat sporadically, traipsing past the tents she looked for somewhere she could be alone. Even on the outskirts of the camp people were still gathered in groups, wandering around. Looking to where the camp ended and fields began, she knew it wouldn't be safe to go out there alone, all sorts of wild beasts lived out in the wilderness, and without a lantern, she'd be sure to get lost. Besides, with this many people milling around someone would be bound to notice her leaving and report her as a deserter.

Was there nowhere in this dastardly camp people would leave her alone?

Her eyes flickered over to the shadows. Everyone feared the shadow fold, though it was necessary to build the base so close to it for the sand skiff docks. She wasn't technically leaving the camp if she just went out to the edge of the fold, right?

She checked to see that no one was watching and dropped over the side of the dock. The sand on the other side was rough under her boots, bumpy and mixed with all sorts of discarded rubbish that had been blown across the camp. She started walking towards the fold.

It wasn't because she wasn't afraid- she was terrified of the monsters that killed her parents and had plagued her dreams ever since, but there was a strange calling to the darkness, urging her forwards until she was face to face with the monstrosity.

Darkness is only the absence of light she reminded herself, but the wall of shadow looming high above her seemed far more deadly than that. How darkness could have a physical form like this seemed impossible, but here it stood all the same. Standing before it was intoxicating, thrilling even, as she slowly reached out with shaking fingers to touch it.

Her hands skimmed the darkness and she held her breath as her fingertips disappeared from view. She knew that they were still there, attached to the end of her arm, but the fact that they were no longer visible sent shivers up her spine. She wondered what that might feel like, to vanish completely. After all, that's all she was to Mal now, right?

A screeching came from within the shadows, causing her to snatch back her hand, clutching it tightly to her chest as her heart raced. Maybe she should stay a little closer to camp.

A small sand dune offered her shelter from view of the camp, she sank down to sit on the ground, her hands tracing patterns in the sand. It had possibly been stupid to stand so close to the fold, to dip her hand into the darkness where a volcra could've snatched her away... but for a moment she had felt calm.

Now that she didn't have the distraction of the darkness, her grief took centre stage once again. That's how she'd describe it: grief. Mal wasn't dead, but she had lost him all the same. She'd never be able to compare to that girl in the trackers' section, and now that Mal had a girlfriend, would he still want to hang out with his 'little friend' from back home? Furthermore, would his girlfriend really want Alina traipsing around after Mal like a little lost puppy? That hurt to think; 'his girlfriend'- somebody else.

Sand crunched behind her, she didn't turn to face him. He always managed to find her, even when she didn't want to be found. "Not today, Mal. I'm really not in the mood to talk."

Silence answered her. Usually, he'd respond by telling her to come find him when she was ready to talk, or more commonly he'd start talking regardless of what she'd said. Silence wasn't really his style.

There were no footsteps to indicate he'd walked away, so she turned to snap at him. "Seriously, Mal, can't you just-" only the man she turned to face wasn't Mal. She felt the blood leave her cheeks as she stared.

The grey hat with the double eagle badge was familiar to her, she had one of her own; standard issue for first and second army recruits alike, but that was where the similarities ended. Black boots were highly polished and void of dirt despite Kiribirsk's paths consisting of nothing but dust in the summer months. His black trousers were spotless too, though she only saw a sliver of them, the rest covered by a long, billowing red cape.

"I'm not a deserter!" Alina said hurriedly. "I just needed a moment alone, and the camp's so busy that-"

"I understand," he cut her off, his voice deep and authoritative, but gentle too. "I often do the same, in fact, that's why I came... forgive me for intruding on your privacy." He turned to leave, and Alina found herself calling out.

"Wait!" He turned back to her, but her sudden burst of confidence had depleted. "I'm... sorry, I didn't mean, would you..."

He raised a brow. Alina was aware she wasn't making much sense, but the words just wouldn't come to her. "I can go," She offered. "I've had five minutes alone which is more than I'd usually get, and if you wanted time on your own-"

"I wouldn't want to kick you out of your hiding spot, I'll survive another night." He said kindly.

"We could-" she bit her lip. Did she really want to offer this? The man was a Grisha, and the first army rarely had anything good to say about the second. Furthermore, his red cape indicated that he was one of those... body manipulators? (She couldn't remember their name) but she couldn't recall whether the black embroidery meant that he was a healer or heart render. "We could both stay here." She eventually managed. "There's room enough for us both... we wouldn't be entirely alone, but it'd still be quieter than the rest of the camp. We could be alone... together?" She knew she sounded ridiculous and was just preparing to tell him to forget it when she saw his face considering it.

"That sounds like a deal to me. On one condition: you must tell me if I am getting on your nerves, Miss...?"

"Starkov." Alina supplied.

"Miss Starkov," he repeated, before walking closer and sinking down into the sand beside her. A gentle breeze stirred the sand in front of them, as they sat in comfortable silence, both staring ahead of them at the shadow fold. The sounds of the busy camp behind them started to gradually die down, and as night began to fall, the shadow fold seemed to loom even darker than before.

Alina snuck a glance at the Grisha beside her. His face was mournful as he stared into the unsea, sad eyes above lips set in a straight line. She wondered what it must be like for them in the second army, knowing it was one of their own that had created this abomination.

"Ask." He said without moving his gaze.

Alina blinked in surprise. "What?"

"You look like you want to ask a question, so ask," he said, finally turning his head to look at her.

She hesitated, fiddling with the laces of her boots. "What's it like to be Grisha?" She asked.

The corner of his mouth twitched up into a sad smile. "Difficult." He answered, not the answer that Alina had been expecting. "All of our enemies want us dead, the Fjerdans wish to burn us at the stake, the Shu wish to torture us in the name of science, and even the people in our own country despise us." His deflated tone was heartbreaking.

"Ravkans don't hate Grisha." She tried to console him, but to no avail, as he looked at her again, knowingly.

"Miss Starkov, can you honestly say that you've never looked at a Grisha and felt disdain for them? That you never sang those hateful rhyming songs in the schoolyard or threatened a child if they didn't behave a heartrender would come and snatch them away?" He raised his brow, and Alina had to look away, staring at her boots as her head hung, her cheeks burning red with shame. "Everyone does it," He told her in a way that meant he didn't judge her for it.

His gaze returned back to the wall of darkness before them. "And that thing really doesn't help our reputation either. Despite the fact that Grisha are the only ones who can offer passage through it."

Alina's eyes followed his, back to the shadow fold. "It's a shame how one man's greed has affected so many people."

"Not greed," he disagreed with her. "Desperation."

Alina frowned. "You don't think the Black Heretic was overcome by greed?"

"I know." He answered in a small voice. "You know the story?" He asked, continuing once Alina had nodded. "The Black Heretic tried to use the same forbidden science that Moritzova- Ilya Moritzova, once used. It's called merzost, and merzost... it's not like the small science that we practise daily. To create something from merzost is draining, it takes so much out of you. My mother used to say that merzost feeds upon us, and I suppose that's the most accurate description. It takes a great deal of power and control to wield even the smallest bit of merzost... so to create something of this size... he had to know the consequences. He had to know that what he was going to do would destroy him. It was a matter of desperation, so great that it was the only option left to him, to take out the king's soldiers rather than let others perish at their hands too. Only... it got out of hand."

Alina listened intently to his story. She'd never heard anyone tell the heretic's tale from this angle before. "You seem to know a lot about Merzost," She said. "Do they teach all of this at the Little Palace?"

"Not exactly."

"Then how did you learn..."

He shot her a guilty look.

"You've used merzost!" Alina gasped. "But... it's forbidden!"

"Says the soldiers who look like deserters sat outside the camp long after curfew."

Alina turned to face him more. "You know what I mean! Staying out after curfew isn't going to hurt anyone, but messing with the forbidden science?! You could've killed people!"

"I'm a soldier." He replied, his face indifferent. "It's what I do."

"No," Alina said, shaking her head. "I mean people who haven't done anything wrong! Innocent people-"

"Haven't we already discussed how nobody is innocent?" He snapped. "Not even women, not even children."

Alina took a second to watch the dark look on his face, the steely cold eyes that stared straight into the fold, the creased brow and his strong set jaw. He had fast transformed from the fellow lonely soldier into the cruel and harsh heartrender that she'd heard stories about, and he was terrifying. Alina wanted to scarper back to the camp and never look back, but the second her hands touched the ground to push herself to her feet, the façade dropped. She almost missed his soft confession:

"I had no other choice."

She froze, her plans of escape fading fast.

"They had just killed the woman I loved, they had us surrounded. There were children in there, weak, and injured... the small science alone wasn't enough to protect them. I had no other choice." She heard the wobble in his voice, the uncertainty whether what he'd done was right, the grief, the regrets. She didn't need to ask how it had all played out.

He looked like he needed a distraction, but Alina couldn't think of any other subject to talk about, his words swirling around her head, consuming her thoughts. "Does the General know what you did?" She asked softly.

"The General?" he asked with a bemused face.

"Yeah, your General, the Black General, General... Korigan, is it?"

"General Kirigan," He corrected her with a small smile. Alina rolled her eyes, she had only gotten one letter wrong. "Yes, he knows."

"What did he think about you using merzost?"

"He usually keeps his opinions to himself." He said curtly, ending the conversation on that topic quite clearly. "What troubles you, Miss Starkov?" He asked.

"What?"

He shrugged. "I've told you my troubles, what makes me want to come out here and be alone, so what ails you?"

Alina's bootlaces suddenly became very interesting again. "It sounds stupid when compared to yours."

"So don't compare them." He said simply, making her head lift up. "We are not the same person, so we shouldn't compare our situations. Whatever problems you have, they were enough to bring you out here to be alone beyond curfew, so it has to be important to you."

Alina shuffled her feet.

"I'm not forcing you to tell me, but a problem shared is a problem halved."

"I'm in love with my best friend." Alina spat out quickly, afraid that she might change her mind again. "I have been since we were eight. But today I found out that he told his tracking friends that I'm only his 'little friend' from back home, and he has a girlfriend that the hasn't even told me about, and I-" she broke off into a sob, failing to fight back her tears.

A black handkerchief was offered to her, and she took it gratefully. "That isn't stupid," he stated softly. "Better reason than mine, to be fair."

Alina snorted. "No, it's not, you killed people with the forbidden science, I just got my heart broken like I should've expected from the start."

"But my troubles happened a long time ago, I've had plenty of time in which to recover, your wounds are still fresh since it only happened today. Well," he said, looking up at the night sky. "It was possibly yesterday by now."

Alina looked up, and unlike the darkness that spread out before them in the unsea, the night was littered with stars, twinkling and shining brightly above them. She looked for the constellations, the map of the night sky common knowledge for any cartographer. There was Orion, and Sirius, and the twins Castor and Pollux, Lupus, and-

"I never asked your name," Alina remembered suddenly, voicing her thoughts aloud.

He looked into the fold for a moment before answering. "Eryk."

"Eryk?!" Alina couldn't help but laugh, as he looked at her bemused.

"Think my name's funny do you?"

"It's such an ancient name!" Alina tried to defend herself. "It's the kind of name you hear in fairytales that are hundreds of years old! Not to be rude but I've read about more dragons named Eryk than people who've been called that. Is that really your name?"

He smiled and sighed. "No."

Alina felt slightly disappointed that he'd lied to her, but they were virtually strangers and she'd already criticised him for what he'd admitted to her. "It's ok, you don't need to tell me what your name really is. Eryk's fine with me, it's not like I told you my first name either."

He smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Miss Starkov, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that."

"It's nothing." She brushed it off. "If I confessed to using the forbidden science to someone, I don't think I'd want them knowing my real name either."

"And what about you, Miss Starkov, any confessions to make yourself?"

Alina sat and thought for a moment. Her first answer was no- she told Mal everything, but a memory of when they'd first arrived at the Duke's house in Keramzin brought another thought to mind.

"I... I might have one confession." She admitted. "I've never told a soul before." She looked at him hesitantly.

"What happens by the fold stays by the fold," He told her, easing her worries that it wouldn't become the latest gossip in the camp the following day. "It's safe with me."

Alina took a deep breath and grinned. "I cheated on my Grisha test."

He looked at her with a blank stare, blinked twice, and then burst out into laughter, his voice ringing out into the cool night air. She shushed him before they woke anyone from the camp who would certainly come looking.

"You cheated on your Grisha testing?" He asked, still smiling. "It's not like a school exam, or an officer's admissions test, you can't cheat."

"Well you can, and I did," Alina said. It felt good to finally admit it to someone, a weight off her chest, after all, no consequence had ever come of it.

"What did you do? Hide a matchstick up your sleeve? Kick over a bucket of water and claim your powers did it?" He asked with a snort.

"The opposite, actually. I cut my hand with a piece of broken pottery so that I'd already be in pain and their testing device wouldn't be able to detect anything."

Eryk's eyes grew wide as he listened to her, his smile ultimately fading to a frown. "But, why would you..."

"Mal, my best friend, he was injured and couldn't be tested, I knew that if I took the test and somehow passed then they'd split us up, and I couldn't bear to be apart from him. It was stupid, I know, but it's not like anything happened because of it, if I was actually Grisha my powers would have shown by now, right?" She joked, but the serious expression on Eryk's face sparked her nerves. "Right?"

"This... Mal, he's the best friend who broke your heart today?"

Alina nodded. "But what's that got to do with-"

"It's possible that you've been suppressing your powers since then for fear of being separated from him It's possible that you're Grisha and never displayed any signs of it."

Alina's mouth widened into an 'o'. "So you're saying-"

"I can test you now if you want," He offered.

"No, I'm good." Alina declined, rapidly shaking her head. "I don't want-"

"You don't want what? To be Grisha?" He snapped harshly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before talking to her again, in a much calmer tone. "But don't you want to know? Wouldn't it save you from a lifetime of wondering 'what if'? So that you could know for sure?"

Though she didn't want to admit it, he was probably right, it would save her from wondering with regrets later in life, though she was confident that she wasn't Grisha, it wouldn't hurt to be one hundred per cent sure.

"Ok," She agreed. "So do we have to go over to the second army's side of the camp to get one of these testing devices, or..."

He shook his head. "Don't need one, I'm an amplifier. Give me your hand."

Alina hesitated.

"I'm an amplifier, I can sense if there are any Grisha abilities within you and amplify them to show just by touching your skin. No pain necessary."

Alina still looked a little weary. "You promise?"

"Promise." He put one hand on his heart. "Grisha's honour."

Slowly she lifted her hand to his. The effect was small but instant. A buzzing flowed through her veins, a deep thrumming pressure that seemed to grow and grow and grow, building deep inside of her until she felt like she could explode, and then came the light. Dazzling. Blinding. She didn't know where it came from, but before she'd had two seconds to admire it, he ripped his hand from hers and the world went suddenly dark.

Not the darkness of night illuminated faintly by the moon, but the pitch black of the shadow fold. Alina's heart jumped to her throat. But they hadn't moved! How could they have-

The darkness lifted into the night, and she saw Eryk twisting his hands as the Shadows disappeared. He looked at her in wonder, but she stared at him in terror.

There was only one person with that ability. "You're the Black General," She said, scooting away from him in the sand. "When I asked if the General knew-"

"Well, I never said I wasn't the General." He responded.

"But you're wearing a healer's cloak!"

"I borrowed it from my heartrender, actually." He corrected her blunder. "It makes it easier to slip through camp unnoticed. Believe me, Miss Starkov, everything I told you, none of it was a lie."

"Is that so, Eryk?"

He smiled sadly, knowing that he had lost her trust. "Eryk was my name once, I changed it frequently when I was younger, I was moved around a lot, never staying in the same place for more than three weeks for fear of being murdered."

"Grisha children grow up in the Little Palace, I know that much, you can't fool me with your lies," Alina said, folding her arms and narrowing her eyes.

"You're right, Miss Starkov, no more lies. Only there was no Little Palace when I was a boy. Grisha lived in camps away from towns and villages, my mother and I had to move around a lot because I was an amplifier, if anyone found out then they'd kill me in an instant so that they could wear my bones to harness my powers." Alina stared at him, horrified, but he kept going. "I vowed that when I was older I would create a safe haven for Grisha, a sanctuary where we could live in peace and be safe, but the only way I could do that was by promising the King an army in return for the Little Palace."

Alina blinked. "The Little Palace was built over two hundred years ago, are you really saying that you are that old?"

"No, Miss Starkov, I am far older than that. I remember when the Tula valley was just farmlands, I remember when King Anastas wasn't even born, I remember-"

The name rang a bell, and Alina looked back in her mind to where she'd heard it before. 'King Anastas hired a Grisha as his military advisor, a shadow summoner.'

Her blood ran cold. "And the Black Heretic?"

His face dropped and he turned his head to look at the shadow fold once more. "I had no other choice." He whispered.

Alina's blood ran like ice through her veins. The Black Heretic, centuries-old, was sat beside her. He hadn't died in the creation of the fold like the tale said. "Why are you telling me this?" She asked in a terrified whisper. It was only just occurring to her that nobody in the camp knew where she was. It would be all too easy for him to kill her and throw her body into the fold, never to be seen again.

But the eyes that turned and looked at her weren't the eyes of a killer. They looked like the eyes of someone who finally had hope. "Didn't you see your light?" He asked. "Miss Starkov, you are the sun summoner."

She would've laughed if his tone wasn't so serious. Her? The fabled & foretold sun summoner? "That's not possible," She said, shaking her head.

"Did you not see how brightly you shone when I touched you? Did you not realise that was why I had to throw up my shadows? To shield your light from view of the camp?"

She had seen the light, but she'd been too distracted by learning of 'Eryk's' true identity to ask what it was. "So I'm Grisha?" She asked.

"Grisha and a whole lot more."

Alina's attention returned to the fold. "All the stories say that the sun summoner will destroy the shadow fold. Is that what I'm supposed to do now? Is that responsibility mine?"

"No, I won't let you." He answered.

Alina was beginning to get whiplash from his constant change in opinions. First, he despised the fold, then he sympathised with the Black Heretic, then it turned out he was the Black Heretic but condemned his actions, and now he didn't want this unsaintly creation to be removed.

"It would take merzost to destroy it, Miss Starkov. The same amount that I used to create it, and I won't let you do that."

"But-"

"Making the fold almost killed me. I won't let you go through what I did." He said sternly. "And merzost is unpredictable, what if you were to create a sunlight fold in place of the shadows? It may house volcra but at least we can pass through the shadow fold, if it were dazzling burning sunlight we wouldn't hold that chance. We'll find another way to control the fold, to grant safe passage through it, one that won't destroy you in the process."

She nodded. That made sense, from what happened the last time he'd used merzost, he'd undoubtedly be dead set against it. And there'd be other ways around it, they could make a path or a tunnel-

"I need you to return to the Little Palace with me," he said, taking both of her hands in his. The contact brought back the thrumming of her power, just resting beneath the surface of her skin. "There I can keep you safe, and you can train, learn how to control your powers until I can find a way of manipulating the fold."

The answer was obvious; she didn't have a choice. Perhaps if he had told her the day before she would've attempted to refuse, caught up on the idea of staying with Mal, but now he wasn't holding her back.

She agreed, the Darkling's face a picture of relief as he didn't have to fight to convince her. "We'll leave by carriage first thing in the morning. The Vy is too dangerous with bandits to travel at night. The sooner we get there the better. You can stay in my tent for this evening, I'd rather-"

"Do we have to go back to camp now?" Alina asked, her voice heavy and reluctant as she looked back towards the camp which was mostly in darkness aside from the odd lantern hanging outside a tent.

"You sound like you don't want to." He said with a frown.

"Not really," Alina confessed. "It's just... everything changes when we go back to camp, doesn't it? I won't be Alina Starkov, assistant cartographer anymore, I'll be the sun summoner."

"Is that your name?" He asked. "Alina." The syllables rolled off his tongue smoothly. "It suits you."

"It's one of the most common Ravkan names, it's nothing special," Alina said, bringing her knees up to her chest and holding her legs.

"So's mine," The General admitted, biting his lip before speaking again. "My mother always told me that my true name was written on my heart, that I shouldn't just let anyone read it." He looked into her eyes. "Will you have it?"

The way that he phrased it made it seem like it was a secret he was deathly afraid of letting out, but he was trusting her with this. She nodded.

"Aleksander," He whispered.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Aleksander," she said.

His eyes fluttered shut. "Say it again," He begged.

"Aleksander," she repeated, wondering how long it had been since someone had last spoken his name.

"Again."

"Aleksander."

His eyes opened as if he had suddenly remembered himself. "You don't want to go back to camp yet?" He asked, remembering their previous conversation.

Alina shook her head. "I think I want just a few more moments before everything changes, you know? I... I don't feel like I'm ready to become the sun summoner just yet."

"How long do you plan to stay out here? All night?"

"Perhaps."

He exhaled a small smile. "Well, I do think that it'd do you some good to get some rest before our very long journey tomorrow." He took off his hat and unfastened his cape, revealing his black kefta beneath it. "Pillow," he said, placing his hat behind her on the sand, and then held out the cape. "Blanket. We can stay out here until sunrise if you like."

Alina took the cape, a smile threatening to take over her face. It was a small gesture, but it meant an awful lot to Alina, that he actually listened and paid attention to her. "Is it safe? She asked, nodding towards the fold, "sleeping so close to that thing?"

"It hasn't moved in over a hundred years, and we're still a good twenty yards away, we'll be fine."

"But what about you, won't you get cold, or are you not planning on sleeping tonight?" She asked as she unfolded the cape around her legs. And then, "there's room under here for two, if you like?" It seemed like a strange offer as it was his cape to begin with, but she was used to having to share most things from her days in the orphanage.

"I won't intrude on your comfort, Alina," he said with a small smile, but Alina had now got it into her head that they should share the 'blanket'.

"You're literally taking me to a palace tomorrow, but you're concerned about my comfort whilst I'm outside sleeping on the ground? Makes sense." She scoffed. "I'm a first army soldier, I'm used to discomfort."

"I could demand that you march right back into camp with me and sleep in my tent if you prefer?" He said with a raised brow and a mischievous glint in his eye.

"No, but I would be more comfortable if you shared this thing with me, it's yours in the first place-"

"Technically it's not mine, I borrowed it off my heart render." Alina raised up one side of the cape, offering it to him and he finally relented. "Fine, but only if you don't snore."

Alina snorted with laughter. "Oh I'm the loudest snorer in the first army, haven't you heard?" She joked as he shuffled in beside her under the cape. It was snug, their sides pressed close together but they both fit. The hat wasn't big enough to share as a pillow but Aleksander insisted she take it.

She leant back and looked up once more to the sky. There was a definitive end to where the shadow fold stopped and the night sky began, the black fading into more of an inky blue dotted with stars. The General beside her was doing the same. She didn't know how long they lay there under the canopy of constellations, but eventually, her eyes grew heavy with sleep. She closed them, too tired to open them again, the gentle sounds of the sleeping camp behind them and the gentle breeze lulling her off to sleep.

She was barely conscious when she heard it, a confession so quiet that it was almost carried off on the wind, but spoken softly into her ear:

"I've been waiting a long time for you, Alina."

She was asleep before she could respond.

"General!" A shouting voice awoke them, followed by heavy footsteps in the sand. Alina opened her eyes to see that it was still dark, only after blinking once or twice she realised that the sun had long since risen but she was lying in the shade of the shadow fold.

A figure sat up from where he had been lying next to her, slowly retracting his arm from around her shoulders. Aleksander. The memories of the night before came traipsing back.

"Fedyor," he called out in greeting. "Morning."

"Where have you been?! Everyone woke up and you were just gone! No note! Not a trace! And Ivan reported his cape stolen and the whole camp is up in arms searching for you! And the First Army has reported a cartographer missing-"

"That'd be me, sorry," Alina said, sitting up, taking in the appearance of the man in the red jacket whose mouth hung open after seeing her.

"Forgive us, Fedyor, we did not plan on sleeping in so late, but we had a rather eventful night."

Fedyor's face screwed up into one of disgust. "The first army has already accused you of kidnapping the cartographer! What will they say when-"

"If anything, she kidnapped me."

"Did not!" Alina immediately objected before the heartrender could turn on her. "I told you I wanted to stay out of the camp for a few more moments, you were the one who suggested sleeping out here!"

"And you were insistent we had to share the cape." He countered but Fedyor wasn't amused at their flirting.

"Miss, your officers believe you're a deserter, I suggest you get back to camp immediately before they issue reprimands." He said sternly.

Alina's face paled but Aleksander came to her rescue. "Yes, I'll need to have words with your commanding officers before we leave, please, lead the way. Oh, and Fedyor, have them ready my carriage and the horses, we leave for Os Alta imminently."

Fedyor looked torn at the command. "Sir, with all due respect, you can't just go around picking up first army harlots and taking them back to the Little Palace-"

"Fedyor!" The general scolded and he looked immediately regretful. "I'd expect assumptions like that from Ivan, but never from you. Perhaps the two of you are spending too much time together." That had Fedyor looking particularly remorseful. "Apologise to Miss Starkov at once."

"Begging your pardon, Miss," he said, clasping his hands behind his back and bowing his head towards Alina. "I did not mean to offend, and I should not have assumed."

"It's fine. How did you even find us out here anyway?" Alina asked, rolling her head from side to side to crack her neck. "We're completely out of sight from camp."

"I sensed your heartbeats," Fedyor admitted, "Ivan dismissed them as volcra in the fold, but we'd searched everywhere else in camp, we were getting slightly desperate."

"Not that it's any of your business, Fedyor, but the eventful evening I mentioned about had nothing to do with my relationship with Miss Starkov. Understood?"

"Yes, General."

"Now go give the order for the carriage to be readied and for enough food for two to be packed for the journey. I'll deal with the rest of the camp. Oh, and Fedyor?" He picked up the discarded hat and cape, handing them over to the heartrender. "Return these to Ivan, would you?"

He took the garments. "Yes, sir." He rushed off back to the camp, leaving Alina and Aleksander alone.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Alina asked. "You said it was none of his business, but wouldn't finding the prophesied sun summoner, the supposed saviour of this country be considered... worthy news?"

"Extremely valuable information." He confirmed. "That I will do my best to guard between us for the time being."

"Why?"

"Do you remember what I said last night about everyone hating Grisha? I'm afraid that applies to you now as well. More so, even, the legends tell of a sun summoner who will save our country from turmoil, if our enemies learned that we now have a sun summoner, they'd be very eager to make it so that we didn't have one, understand?"

Alina nodded, suddenly feeling quite queasy.

"So until you are safe at the Little Palace, this information stays strictly between us, agreed?"

"So how are you going to convince my unit to release me to the second army if you're not telling them that I'm the sun summoner?" She asked, eager to change the subject.

"Oh, there are ways," he said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye as they started walking back towards the base. "How much do you value your reputation, Miss Starkov? You could be pregnant with my heir, or have committed treason against me and the second army. Alternatively, if we're being boring I need a cartographer to re-draw the maps in my war room and yours is the only standard I'll accept. Or we simply tell them that you are Grisha, we just don't specify which type."

Alina chuckled as she heard all of the options, and a grin spread across her face as she imagined what Mal would say if they went with the first option, when he found out she was carrying the Black General's child.

"The last one is most truthful, so I suppose we'd better go with that." She said as they reached the dry docks, clambering up onto the wooden platform. With his long legs, Aleksander managed it more gracefully than Alina who smeared dust all down the front of her shirt as she hauled herself up.

Brushing herself off, she looked up to see that life in the camp had just stopped and everyone was staring at them.

"Lead the way to first army cartography," The General said beside her, distracting her from the attention they were receiving, and reminding her of the task at hand. She started walking quickly, eager to be away from all of the looks, but the stares followed them. Each new step through the camp made soldiers stop what they were doing to look over and gawp at the pair. She didn't think the news of one A.W.O.L. cartographer would gather this much attention, but then again with the General of the second army keeping close to her side, both of them having gone 'missing' overnight, she dreaded to think of the rumours that would spring up... if they hadn't already.

There was a crowd outside the cartography tent arguing in loud voices, the only ones in the camp not noticing as Alina and the Darkling approached.

"-Traitorous scum!" They only heard the end of that sentence, unsure of who said it, but it sounded suspiciously like one of her superior officers.

"Alina is not a traitor!" She knew that voice, the one so quick to defend her. Mal. "Alina wouldn't have gone anywhere without telling me, we're close, she's practically my sister!"

Ouch. As if it hadn't hurt before.

"Alina isn't a coward and she wouldn't have run away. I'm telling you that the Black General must have taken her! Because where's he, huh? Gone without a trace, just like Alina!"

"So what do you suggest we do, soldier?" The officer snapped back. "Waste our precious resources and troops to go chasing off after the Darkling in the odd chance that for whatever saints forsaken reason he decided to kidnap a random worthless cartographer?"

"That won't be necessary." The General spoke up from beside Alina, startling her. For a moment she had forgotten that they were there for a reason, not just to listen in to the conversation.

The group turned to them with varying looks of surprise and disbelief.

"Alina!" Mal shouted, relief flooding through him as he rushed forward and enveloped her in a bear hug. She loved these rare displays of affection from Mal, the way he clutched her body tightly to his, his arms strong around her, the way her head was pulled into his chest below his chin, so she could take in his masculine scent... only this time the hug felt different.

"Though perhaps you should put more faith in your tracker, Lieutenant, his theory wasn't entirely correct, but his thought process was admirable." The Darkling said, unphased by their embrace.

Mal pulled away from Alina but gripped her shoulders as his eyes flickered over her face. "You're alright, are you? He didn't hurt you?"

"Saints Mal!" Alina laughed as she batted his hands away. "Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm fine. He didn't kidnap me!"

"And I suppose you have an excuse for your absence, Starkov?" Her lieutenant glared at her, his voice holding malice that she dreaded ever having to hear.

"I'll thank you kindly to no speak to my soldier in that tone, Lieutenant." The General said sternly, to be met with blank stares.

"She's a cartographer in the first army, and that's my division. I'll thank you to keep your nose out and not tell me how to treat my soldiers."

The glare that the Darkling gave was enough to silence the officer and reduce him to a whimper. "The second army reserves the right to test anyone who they believe may be harbouring Grisha powers. Miss Starkov agreed to such measures last night, which explains her absence from camp, and since her testing proved positive, I'm now informing you of her transfer to the second army."

The group appeared speechless, their eyes wide and brains seemingly vacant at the news. Only Mal managed to find any words. "But Alina's not Grisha!" his eyes flickered from the Darkling to his best friend, his confusion evident on his face.

Alina shrugged, wringing her hands together nervously. How to explain this in a way that made sense? "I am now, I guess."

"Miss Starkov had a rare case of being able to suppress her abilities, which is why the testers failed to discover her when she was a child. Regardless, now her abilities have made themselves known, she will accompany me back to the Little Palace where she will begin training. Now, Miss Starkov, do you have any personal effects you need to retrieve from your tent?"

There were the scraps of paper she'd managed to steal away to doodle and draw on or the bottle cap that Mal had handed her when they were ten that she now kept under her pillow... she shook her head. "Everything I own is army issued." She answered.

"And this would be the Malyen Oretsev?" He said, gesturing to Mal. Alina nodded. "Say your goodbyes."

There was a hint of understanding in his voice, undetectable to all but Alina. He knew what Mal had previously meant to her, and what he now represented.

Mal began to object, but Alina shut him up by flinging her arms around his neck. "Thank you," She said quietly into his ear, as his own arms wrapped around her back. "Thank you for being my best friend, thanks for always having my back in Keramzin."

"Don't go," He whispered into her hair, his arms clutching her tighter as he begged her to stay, but his words held no power over her now.

"I have to go," She told him, then corrected herself. "I want to go. I'm Grisha, I belong there." She pulled back from the hug reluctantly, knowing that it would be the last for a very long time. "I'll write to you, whenever I get the chance," She told him.

"Don't forget about me," he begged with a smile.

"You're my best friend, Mal. I could never forget you." Only this time, when she said 'best friend', she meant it. There was no underlying hope of being anything more, all of her unrequited pinnings seemed to have just... stopped. Gone were the feelings of want, now that she knew who she really was.

Mal's eyes began to tear up and Alina turned away before he made her cry too. She followed the Darkling without a word down the paths of the camp, far away from the cartography tents and the tracker she once loved.

The anticipation of what was to come drummed through her veins keeping time with her heart. She was Grisha, she thought as they entered the second army's side of the camp. She was the sun summoner, and she was no longer pining for a boy who'd never love her back.

The Darkling's black carriage had been prepared outside his tent just as he'd ordered, and Grisha watched as he wasted no time in opening the door and helping Alina up into the plush, black interior. He hopped up himself and closed the door, with a brisk tap on the roof, they were off, the carriage trundling forwards towards Os Alta.

"Well I hope you didn't find my company exhausting last night," he said with a sideways glance and a smile. "Because we're stuck here all day together."

Alina smiled back. For the first time in her life, she felt like she belonged.