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“Don't you have anything better to do?” Diluc snapped, hair poofed up like a cloud around his head from relentless brushing.
“Diluc, there are women in this town you would kill to get a fraction of the attention you do from me, you should really be more grateful” Kaeya replied from his position on Diluc’s bed. The other boy rolled his eyes at him through the mirror, “Besides I’m already dressed!”
“You literally just put a dinner jacket over your regular clothes.”
“Well we don’t all have dates to impress~” Kaeya retorted, wiggling his eyebrows.
Diluc snapped around in his chair to face Kaeya, curls flying around his head like a mane. Kaeya refrained from laughing.
“Don’t call her that,” the older boy grumbled, face painted scarlet.
“Awwww Luc, you’re nervous!” teased Kaeya, in a tone that indicated this was the best thing to ever happen to him.
Diluc buried his head in his hands, mumbling something that vaguely resembled a creative combination of curse words paired with Kaeya’s name,
“It’s okay, I can help!” Kaeya said, getting off the bed and spinning Diluc round to face the mirror, brush in hand, “And I can fix whatever you’ve done to your hair.”
Reluctantly allowing the younger boy to gently begin the work of taming his unruly locks, Diluc replied, “Oh yeah? And what would you know about dating?”
“I’ll have you know that I am something of an expert on women”
Diluc scoffed.
“It’s true!” Kaeya exclaimed, around his battle with Diluc’s mane, “Lucy in our unit, she likes me! And I'm Adelinde's favourite!”
“Adelinde doesn’t count!” Diluc said, eyes once again rolling, “She’s paid to hang out with us.” “She’s paid to hang out with you,” Kaeya retorted, “She’s not paid to like me more.”
Over Diluc’s protests, Kaeya tied off the high ponytail with a tasteful black ribbon and then the two boys were sitting facing each other, cross legged on Diluc’s bed.
“So,” Kaeya continued, “What do you like about Jean?”
He felt Diluc stiffen across from him.
“Um well, father says she’s from very good breeding.”
Kaeya almost fell into Diluc’s lap from laughter, “Archons Luc, she's not a cow!”
Diluc continued to glare at him. Kaeya composed himself and continued his interrogation.
“Forget father, what do you like about her?” “Well,” Diluc began in an even more stilted fashion than usual, “She’s very responsible. And she’s a talented swordsman.”
Kaeya rolled his eyes,“That’s not very romantic, Luc. Tell me about her appearance, her eyes or something.” “I think they’re blue?”
“And they say romance is dead,” commented Kaeya dryly.
“Well if you’re such an expert, what would you say?”
“Oh Jean, your eyes are as blue as the dandelion sea!” Kaeya cried, almost falling off the bed from the sheer intensity of his swooning. “Would you please do me the honour of making me the happiest man alive?”
“Oi, we’re not getting married!” Diluc lobbing the nearest object (which just so happened to be a copy of Gunnhildr’s Legacy) in Kaeya’s general direction “Besides, I can’t say all that, it's embarrassing!”
Taking pity on the other boy, whose face was rapidly turning the same colour as his hair, Kaeya came up with an idea.
“I’ll be back in a sec!” he said, dashing to his room and returning a few moments later, shoving a wet bundle into Diluc’s arms.
“Where the fuck did you get flowers from?”
“Adelinde got them for me to freshen up my room,” Kaeya replied, ignoring Diluc’s raised eyebrows, “Not the point! Actions speak louder than words right? If you give her these, she won't even notice how awkward you are!”
Diluc muttered something about Adelinde never bringing him flowers but he accepted the offering nevertheless.
“Boys!” a voice called from downstairs
Diluc, one hand clutching his precious gift for Jean, grabbed Kaeya’s arm and dragged him down the stairs.
“There are my handsome boys!” cooed Adelinde as they came down the stairs. Crepus stood beside her, a small smile adorning his lips.
“Kaeya, what on earth happened to your face?” the older woman exclaimed as she approached the boys, handkerchief at the ready despite Kaeya’s protests.
View slightly obscured by Adelinde’s assault on his face, Kaeya could see Crepus pulling Diluc aside for a quick father/son chat which left a pit in Kaeya’s stomach. Diluc stood upright like a clay soldier as his father clapped him on the shoulder before leading the family outside to the waiting carriages. Diluc shot Kaeya a slight apologetic smile and the knot of jealousy loosened slightly in the younger’s stomach. Whatever happened, he would not be miserable at this party. There would be far too much Diluc bullying material.
—
It was traditional in the Ragnvindr clan for a large celebration to be thrown to commemorate the 14th birthday of the newest heir. Furthermore, this important birthday happened to coincide with Diluc’s promotion to Calvary Captain of the Knights of Favonius, the youngest in history. This combination of events convinced Crepus that it was all the more necessary to go all out on this gathering and Diluc reluctantly gave in, like he always did with his father. The chosen location for the party, one of the few things Diluc had a say in, was Dawn Winery, the centre of the Ragnvindr wine empire which doubled as a summer home for the family. Kaeya had spent many slow, hot weeks at the house, chasing Diluc and Jean though the vineyard and climbing trees, before all the added complications of knighthood and girls.
Peeking out of the carriage window, the sight of Dawn Winery almost took Kaeya’s breath away. The soft light of what seemed like hundreds of lanterns refracted on the wings of crystal flies, making the building glow multicoloured in the twilight. Bunting was strung up on the eaves and clusters of small lamp grass had been placed along the hedges, giving the illusion of twinkling stars among the greenery. The winery staff were lined up by the door to greet their masters as they disembarked from the carriage. Formal handshakes were exchanged with practised ease and then the group went inside.
The interior was no less spectacular. Garlands of flowers and twinkling lights were strung up on every available surface. At one end of the room, an orchestra from the church was warming up and on the other there was a bar serving primarily grape juice but also the finest Dawn Winery wines for the adults. Servants hurried back and forth, swerving around tables piled high with food, making sure everything was as it should be. The centre of the room had been cleared of its usual furnishings to make room for a dance floor. Everything was perfect.
The clock struck seven and a trickle of guests made their way through the open doors where Crepus kept a stern eye on the boys, making sure they shook all the right hands and made all the proper greetings. Kaeya was bored out of his mind and by the looks of things Diluc was too, until finally a familiar face stepped into the room.
Jean Gunnhildr, followed closely by her sour faced mother, was greeted enthusiastically by Crepus while Diluc stood there, struck dumb. Kaeya was also having trouble concealing his surprise. Jean, their childhood friend, was wearing a dress, a pale blue one with all sorts of lace and flounces that Kaeya never thought she would have touched mere weeks ago. Furthermore, her usual tight ponytail was gone and in its place, her hair had been curled and cecilias had been braided along the sides. She looked gorgeous.
Kaeya had no time to dwell on this however as Jean had moved past Crepus and was making her way towards Diluc who was still frozen in place. She held her hand out, presumably for him to kiss and he just stared at it. Crepus gave him a nudge and poor Diluc, still unable to make eye contact, went in for a high five. Crepus turned scarlet and Ms Gunnhildr looked close to passing out.
Kaeya swallowed his laughter and, like the good wingman he was, grabbed the forgotten flowers off the entrance table, now slightly limp but still intact, and pushed them into Diluc’s hands. The relief was evident in the other boy’s eyes and he clumsily shoved the bouquet in Jean’s general direction, muttering something along the lines of, “got you these.” Jean blinked down at the bundle but before she could respond her mother chimed in
“I’ll take these,” she said, in a tone that suggested she’d rather feed her daughter to a hillichurl.
Crepus hissed something in Diluc’s ear and the boy took a step towards Jean and said, with all the confidence he could muster, “You look… um you have hair?” Jean tilted her head in confusion, “Yes?”
Fortunately, at that moment, the orchestra began to play, distracting the group from Diluc’s lack of game. Crepus guided his son and his date towards the dance floor, while Ms Gunnhildr discretely handed off the sorry bouquet to the nearest servant to be disposed of. Kaeya did not notice this however as he was far too distracted with the proceedings on the dance floor.
For three weeks leading up to the party, Kaeya and Diluc had been attending ballroom dancing classes, courtesy of Elzer and Adelinde. It was expected for noble boys to be at least passable at a waltz which is unfortunate because Diluc very much was not. While Kaeya, with elegance and poise learnt from sword fighting, took to dancing like a fish to water, Diluc was the complete opposite. Any strength and agility he had on the battlefield was totally lost on the dance floor. As Kaeya had often remarked, it was probably just as well he was a claymore user, all brute force and no grace.
But despite his lack of talent, Diluc was a noble boy and dance he must. He and Jean made it through about five minutes of the waltz alone, with Jean clearly leading until Crepus took pity on them and invited everyone else to the floor. It could have been worse, Kaeya thought, Diluc didn't step on Jean’s toes like he did many times to Kaeya’s in practice but the situation was not helped by Jean’s clear talent and that she was a good head taller than Diluc.
But hey, that was Diluc’s problem. Kaeya had much more important matters to attend to, namely the long line of buffet tables that were yet untouched. And that’s how Kaeya spent the evening, sampling every delicious treat cooked up by Adelinde and the staff, all while dodging the attempts of people who he vaguely recognised as distant Ragnvindrs to strike up conversations with him. He was so absorbed in this in fact, that the clock had struck nine by the time he noticed that Jean and Diluc had disappeared.
Growing bored of the party, Kaeya was finally put out of his misery (sent to bed) by Crepus after being caught trying to convince the bartender that he was in fact eighteen, and just short.
—
A couple hours later, Kaeya was rudely awoken by a pair of cold hands shaking him. The sounds of the party had vanished from downstairs, leaving only the chirping of crickets from the pen window. The boy sat up, nearly hitting his head on the top of the bunk and hissed, “What?” in the vague direction of Diluc’s voice.
The two boys shared a bedroom whenever they stayed over at the winery, despite being a little too old to fit in their old bunks now, especially when Diluc was motioning at him to move over so they could sit together.
Remembering Diluc’s disappearance earlier that evening, Kaeya whispered excitedly, “So.. what happened?”
Kaeya couldn't tell whether it was just the red glow of his vision or if the other was actually blushing. The older boy mumbled something.
“What?!” Kaeya whisper-shouted, earning a light shove from Diluc.
“We kissed…”
Diluc clamped a hand of Kaeya’s mouth to muffle his shrieks of mirth. Kaeya licked his hand until he let go, laughing so hard it came out as a wheeze. Once he’d calmed down, Diluc told him the whole story.
His plan had been to take Jean up to the statue of the Seven, where they would look out over the vineyard and kiss under the light of the crystal flies. Very romantic, Kaeya was almost proud. However this plan had been thwarted by the shoes Jean’s mother insisted she wore which prevented her from climbing the cliff. The pair had ended up under the trees at the foot of the cliff. Diluc asked if she wanted to kiss. Jean shrugged. They kissed.
“Then what happened?” asked Kaeya metaphorically as well as literally on the edge of his seat in the tiny bed.
“I don't know, she just sort of left. Said her mum would worry if she was gone for too long.”
Diluc’s genuine look of sadness was the only thing keeping Kaeya from giggling. He gave his friend a gentle nudge and cooed, “Sooooo, what was it likeeee?”
Diluc grimaced, “I don't know, wet?”
Kaeya could not prevent himself from laughing at that while Diluc tried his best to salvage the situation.
“Stop laughing! It didn't last very long, I don't have a good sample size!”
This only made Kaeya laugh harder.
“Methodical as always Luc,” he said once he’d calmed down, though upon noticing the furrow of Diluc’s brow, he leant into the other boy’s side and said genuinely, “Stop worrying about it, I’m sure it was fine. Besides, it's just Jean.”
Diluc nodded sleepily, “Just Jean.”
His head drooped down onto Kaeya’s shoulder and soon the pair were fast asleep.
___
“And that's how Adelinde found us the next morning, curled up in that too small bed together. A couple weeks went by slightly awkwardly between us and Jean until one day, after a sparring drill, Diluc and I happened upon Jean and Lucy, who as it turns out did not like me, making out behind the barracks. From then on, things started to make a little more sense. And that ladies, gents and the rest of you, is the story of how Jean found out she was a lesbian, all with the help of my deputy best man, the lovely Master Diluc!”
The guests cheered and applauded. Lisa wolf whistled, Jean sat next to her looking like she regretted every single decision in her life that had led up to this point. Diluc from his seat next to Kaeya looked as though he was debating whether it was worth it to ruin Jean and Lisa’s wedding reception for the chance to kill him.
Kaeya did a little bow, “Thank you, thank you. And once again my warmest congratulations to the brides. It is a true honour to be able to call you my friends.”
Kaeya sat down to even more applause, leaning over to whisper in Diluc’s ear, “And that’s how you do a best man speech.” “My speech was fine,” Diluc replied through gritted teeth, “And for the record, I am not your deputy best man, we are co-best men. Jean said so.”
Kaeya winked at the other man, “That's what she wants you to think.” Diluc looked as though he was seriously considering lunging at Kaeya when Jean and Lisa materialised behind them.
“I hope you boys are behaving,” Jean said, eyebrows raised. The ‘boys’ in question responded with a murmured, “Yes Grandmaster.”
Jean smiled, “Good, the dancing is about to begin.”
The four of them left the marquee that was standing in the vineyard and headed to the Winery alongside the other guests. Albedo was carrying Klee, who had been successfully worn out by the long day (she had been a very good girl besides the little incident where she accidentally swallowed one of the rings, only to be told it was a decoy and her big brother had been looking after the real ones). Razor, who had been the flower boy at the request of Lisa, was holding hands with Fishcl and Bennett as he walked. Eula and Amber were arm in arm, chatting with a couple from Liyue, one of whom Kaeya was fairly sure was the Tianquan. Leading the pack was Barbara, who was talking rapidly to Adelinde, doing her best to make sure her sister’s special day was perfect.
Kaeya stopped by the door letting the other guests go in before him, greeting them as they did. Lisa made him promise to tell her more stories from Jean’s teenage years while others smiled and congratulated him on his speech. Kaeya was going to make his escape when he noticed Diluc had also lingered.
“The place looks lovely,” Kaeya said, trying to make small talk despite his awareness of Diluc’s hatred of it, “You’ve outdone yourself.”
Diluc grunted in acknowledgement, “It’s been a while since this place has seen any celebrations, may as well put it to good use.”
“Father would have been proud.” Diluc stiffened.
Kaeya continued cautiously, “He’d have wanted to see Jean married here, even if it wasn't to you.”
Diluc smiled softly, sadly.
“Yeah, maybe,” he straightened up, “Come on then, we should probably go and see the first dance.” He made no effort to move.
“Luc, let's not pretend we both weren’t trying to escape.”
Diluc leant back against the wall, arms crossed.
“Fine, we can stay out here for a few more minutes,” he paused and looked at the younger man, “Kae.”
Kaeya smirked and joined him against the wall.
“Just a few more minutes.”
The sun set over the horizon, the sounds of music and laughter floating through the air. Two men, complete opposites, stood in silence and watched.