Chapter Text
"Slow down!" Tubbo yelped. Ranboo was pulling him through the woods, nails clenched tightly around his hand. He hadn't let go or slowed down for the last five minutes, and Tubbo's arm was starting to hurt.
Ranboo slowed down slightly, but didn't loosen his grip. There were going to be lines all over Tubbo's arm when this was all over. His hand was chilled, even though Tubbo was sweating through his clothes from the heat.
"This is important," Ranboo muttered. His voice was low.
Tubbo sighed. "Yeah, okay, but why do we have to leave town? Can't you just tell me in our house?"
"It's not safe there," Ranboo said. His head was darting from side to side. "Someone could hear us."
Tubbo laughed. "Ranboo, you are the most rule-following person I've ever met. You barely leave the house. What could you possibly have done that's so bad you need to go a mile out of town to tell me about it?"
He'd hoped the attempt at humor might make Ranboo relax, but if anything, he seemed even more tense. "It's-- um-- it's--" Ranboo fiddled with his fingers, swaying back and forth as if to a music only he could hear. "It's bad, Tubbo. Or, I don't think it is, but you might and--" With a frustrated growl, Ranboo gave up on trying to explain and tore his sunglasses or his face.
Tubbo's words died in his throat.
Because Ranboo had star eyes . The tell-tale sign of a shapeshifter.
Tubbo’s brain worked fast, trying to come up with an answer for this. Stars in your eyes mean shapeshifter. Tubbo’s heard the stories, he knew this.
But– but this doesn’t make sense. Because Ranboo can’t be a shapeshifter. Ranboo isn’t– isn’t bad.
He goes out for days and collects flowers, is far too awkward about presenting gifts even though Tubbo’s loved every single one they’ve ever given him, is terrifyingly good at manipulating his cinnamon roll vibes, and is awful at cooking. He can’t be a shapeshifter. He just can’t. Which means..
“Hey, hey,” Tubbo said. “It’s okay. I’ll keep you safe.”
“Really?” Ranboo said. He looks so scared. He must have been really worried about telling Tubbo this.
“Of course!” Tubbo smiled. “Obviously, you aren’t a shapeshifter, but I can see how you’d be worried that the Eggpire might think you are. I’ll find a way to prove to them otherwise.”
Ranboo stared at him. “ What?”
“Is that not… what you were trying to tell me?” Tubbo asked.
Ranboo stumbled over his words for a few moments, before sighing. “It’s nothing. Let’s just go home.”
Everything is... tense, in the apartment.
Tubbo doesn't understand why. Ranboo gave him his biggest secret, after all, that he has star eyes. He knows that Tubbo loves him, that he understands he's not a shapeshifter, and that he'll try to protect him no matter what. Things should be less tense than they've ever been!
But no. Ranboo is stiff, and his hands are twitching with anxiety, and he's stuttering and giving one-syllable answers in a way he hasn't since the first day he met Tubbo. Tubbo doesn't know what to do.
He tries everything. He makes Ranboo's favorite meal, he sprays that weird-ass mushroom scent thing that he likes around the apartment, but nothing seems to work.
Eventually he just lays down on the couch, and pretends he doesn't hear the sound of Ranboo tiptoeing away.
The next morning, Tubbo heads out in search of answers. He needs them, because Ranboo told him last night that the Eggpire has been asking him to come prove he isn’t a shapeshifter.
Now, Tubbo knows Ranboo isn’t a shapeshifter. But the Eggpire doesn't know that, and they're starting to get suspicious.
Under normal circumstances, all Ranboo would have to do is remove his sunglasses. But he can't because-- as Tubbo saw-- Ranboo has star eyes.
He's not a shapeshifter, of course, but he has star eyes. And the Egg isn't going to like that.
Which would mean that, to stay in good standing with the Eggpire, Tubbo would have to burn everything Ranboo has ever given him. Every flower. Every jewel. Every hand sewed cape. Every piece of pottery. Everything .
(Tubbo pushes away the thought that it would also mean Ranboo himself would be gone. He's not willing to face that right now.)
Clearly, that is not an option. Which means Tubbo needs to find more options.
He starts in the library. If anybody would know how to ferret out shapeshifters, it would be the Eggpire, and since all libraries are owned and operated by them, it seems like a good place to start.
But all the books say is what Tubbo already knows . Yeah yeah, shapeshifters are dangerous, yeah yeah, you can find them out from the eyes. There has to be some way other than the eyes, or are they really trying to tell him that no shapeshifter has ever thought of changing their eyes?
Maybe they can't? That would make a little more sense. The books seem to be implying they're just idiots, but he doubts the Eggpire’s had time to talk to them much, and they can't be as dangerous as they are and stupid enough to not think of hiding their eyes.
It's an interesting idea, but it isn't helpful . Ranboo has star eyes. Ranboo is not a shapeshifter. There has to be some kind of precedent for that, come on!
Frustrated, lacking answers, and at the end of his rope from this morning's equally awkward breakfast, Tubbo punched the wall.
Dust flew off of the plaster revealing...
"Huh?" Tubbo said. It was some sort of old code. He mouthed the words over and over until...
"Forbidden Information? Do Not Enter?"
He hesitated. He didn't want to break the Eggpire's rules-- drawing more attention than necessary to him and Ranboo right now was a very bad idea. But surely they wouldn't have made the code so easy to break if it was actually forbidden. It must be some kind of test. Tubbo was able to break the code, so he passed. Now he just has to find out where the information actually is.
There was a long, rustling search, among bookshelves, until eventually, a small panel sprung open. Tubbo squinted at it, and poked a finger inside.
"Oh, it's a lock!" he whispered. "That's not so bad."
There was another long moment, but eventually the lock clicked, and the panel opened wider, just wide enough for someone to crawl through.
Tubbo went in.
Tubbo crawled and crawled and crawled and disabled a couple really shoddily made traps until eventually he found himself in a room full of books.
Books. Not Tubbo's favorite thing in the world. These were all written in that really easy to break code though, so he was probably in the right place. He picked up a random book with a red cover and skimmed through it.
"Hmm... the key to the code is... the first level of the lock is... oh this must be some kind of red herring thing!" Tubbo laughed to himself. It was kind of clever, actually, making the traps seem harder than they were to scare people off. This book was probably supposed to have been placed out in the regular library, but somebody forgot.
Amusing as the book was(seriously, this place was so easy to break into) it wasn't helpful to his current situation. Luckily, there were lots of books here. He'd just have to keep looking.
Tubbo flipped through the books, mostly just looking at the titles before tossing them aside. Nothing really seemed like it'd be applicable to his situation.
"Oh, wait..." Tubbo said, picking up another book. "This looks interesting."
It had a black cover with the large blocky words Angels of the Egg written in white.
"I didn't know the Eggpire had angels," Tubbo muttered to himself, opening the book and looking through it. If anyone would know how to recognize the greatest threat to the Egg, surely it would be its angels.
The book was mostly boring, just describing the general habits of angels and how to spot one. It was probably blasphemy, but Tubbo didn't think it was very good writing to drop in a paragraph about the glories of the Egg on every page . He got it the first five times.
About halfway through the book, Tubbo finally found something interesting. A summoning spell. For angels.
Tubbo grinned a grin that had made many innocent members of law enforcement fear for their lives. "Now we're getting somewhere."
An hour later, Tubbo was ready.
His skin was painted red. There were Crimson vines wrapped around his body, and thorns in his hair like a flower crown. He'd even dropped a few red dots into his eyes, to make the pupils go red. The angel would probably like that.
He took a deep breath, and then started to recite the words.
For a long moment, nothing happened, and Tubbo started to panic because this morning's breakfast had been just as awkward as last night, and if he couldn't find a way to help Ranboo, to fix this, then–
But he did not need to fear. Before his eyes, a bright glow appeared. It got brighter and brighter until Tubbo had to avert his eyes for fear of being blinded.
Brighter and brighter and brighter until-- it stopped. All at once, the light stopped, and there was a boy standing in front of Tubbo.
Or at least, he looked like a boy, but Tubbo could tell he was something more. There was a faint shimmer in the air around him, and his eyes, piercing blue, struck Tubbo mute. He couldn't speak. He could only stare.
There was a pause, as both stared at each other, trying to comprehend what had just happened. And then--
"What the fuck ?"
Tubbo bowed low, not daring to meet the angel’s eyes. “Thank you so much for meeting me here, my name is Tubbo, I need your help–”
“Oh, I’m not staying,” the angel said.
Tubbo’s head jolted up, and he rose to his feet. “What do you mean?”
The angel laughed. "Summoning doesn't last very long at the best of times, and I'm Big Man Tommyinnit. I'll be gone from here in like, a half hour, tops ."
Tubbo raised an eyebrow. "Alright then. We'll see."
Two hours later, Tommy had to admit defeat.
"Fine. Maybe the summoning isn't going to wear off as quickly as I thought it would."
"You think?"
"Oh shut up and just tell me what you want, prick."
"You really aren't giving me more incentive to let you go right now."
"Why would you want me around if I'm so annoying?"
"You make a fair point, but I need your help."
"With what ?" Tommy spread his wings out wide(oh yeah, he has wings. Tubbo almost hadn't noticed with all the other insanity going on). "You still haven't told me what you want from me!"
"Oh yeah!" Tubbo furrowed his eyebrows. "Hmm..."
The angel groaned. "Don't tell me you forgot ?"
Tubbo clapped his hands together. "No no, I got it! I need you to help me see if someone is a shapeshifter."
Tommy stared. "Um... weird thing to summon an angel for? Can you not see eyes? Is that some sort of weird human disease thing? You can't see eyes?"
Tubbo giggled. "No, no, I can see eyes. It's just that... well... my friend has star-eyes, but he's not a shapeshifter. So I need another way to prove it, so the Eggpire doesn't hurt him."
"Really ?" Tommy said, sounding fascinated. "I didn't know that was a thing. Did he tell you?"
"Well, not exactly," Tubbo admitted. "But I mean, he can't be a shapeshifter. He's so sweet, and kind. Shapeshifters are evil, and have to be destroyed on sight. Ranboo couldn't possibly be one."
Tommy groaned deeply, and muttered something that sounded like, Dear Crimson he's a fanatic . "Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna head back home.”
“Fine!” Tubbo said. "You aren't even helping me anyways. I'll just summon another angel." He flipped through the book. “Er..”
Tommy's eyes narrowed. "What does that mean, exactly?" he said.
“So…” Tubbo said. “It turns out I may not actually know how to get you home…”
Tommy began pacing the room. Guess that answers the question of whether he can leave the circle Tubbo thought absentmindedly. Then again, there are probably more important things to be worrying about right now... like the angry angel.
"No, no no no no," the angel muttered. "There has to be– it can’t be– I can’t just be trapped here–" Tommy spun on his heel. "What if I just left this room? I could find my own way home!”
Tubbo... wasn't sure he could, actually. What if the angel just started wandering around town? Then what would Tubbo do?
Well, when in doubt, bluff.
Tubbo stepped forward, eyes glittering ever so slightly red. "Do you really want to risk that? I summoned you. You have no idea what I could do to you if you don't obey me. And besides, it's not like you actually know how to get home from here. I'm your only hope, Big Man TommyInnit . Like it or not."
Tubbo had been expecting a sharp comeback, but Tommy said nothing, and there was genuine fear in those blue eyes.
Shit.
“Look, it’s not like it’s that hard of a task, okay?” Tubbo said. “Just– give me some proof that Ranboo isn’t a shapeshifter, and I’ll be out of your hair. Easy as that.”
“You don’t even know how to send me home!” Tommy shrieked.
“Yeah, but I’ll work on it if you help me. You don’t even know how to read this code.” Tubbo tilted his head. “You don’t, right?”
“No,” Tommy said. “I don’t. Ugh, why did I tell you that?”
“Right,” Tubbo said. “So you do need me. I will help you get home, as long as you find proof for the Eggpire that my friend is not a shapeshifter.”
“And, hypothetically,” Tommy said. “What would happen if I told you he was a shapeshifter?”
“Well, that’s impossible,” Tubbo said, tilting his head slightly. “That’s– that’s just really not an option here.”
Tommy sighed again. His wings folded up, and he stepped towards Tubbo. “Alright, fine. Where’s this… Ranboob guy, then?”
“Ranboo,” Tubbo corrected absentmindedly. “And he’s just in our apartment. I can take you there right now.”
“Woah, woah, woah,” Tommy said, waving his hands in the air. “You two live together?”
Tubbo tilted his head, confused. “Yeah? We’re roommates. Have been for… I’d say close to a year now.” He smiled. “He’s my best friend.”
“And you still can’t believe he’s–” Tommy growled, and muttered something under his breath that Tubbo couldn’t quite pick up.
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing.” Tommy crossed his arms. “Let’s just go. How do you get out of this room, anyway?”
In answer, Tubbo shoved open the small door that led to the crawlspace. “Through here.”
Instead of using the ladder, Tommy fluttered up to the small door, where he proceeded to stare at it for several seconds.
“Are you… coming?” Tubbo said slowly.
“I don’t think my wings are going to fit in here,” Tommy said. He grimaced, and suddenly, the wings had vanished. “Ugh. That always feels weird.”
Tubbo’s hands were twitching, and he wished he had a pad to take notes. “How did you do that? Where do they go? Do they actually vanish, or just go somewhere else until you need them again. Are they immaterial, somehow? Are they always not real, and just some kind of illusion? Do–”
“Maybe let’s save the science questions for later ,” Tommy drawled. “Or, you know, you let me go home. That’d be fine with me too.”
“I don’t know how to do that,” Tubbo said. “Didn’t we go over this earlier?”
Tommy didn’t respond, but the sound of scratching against metal behind him told Tubbo that he was there.
They emerged from the library, and Tommy’s eyes were wide.
Tubbo nudged him in the side. “Uh, Tommy? Are you alive?”
Tommy didn’t seem to notice. “Holy shit, this is– I never knew Earth was like this. I mean, I’d get rid of all the Crimson but–”
Tubbo frowned, momentarily distracted. “What are you talking about? You’re an angel of the Egg, shouldn’t you love the Crimson.”
Tommy’s back arched, immaterial wings reacting to immaterial emotions. “I’m an angel of the what?”
“Of the Egg!” Tubbo said, frustrated. Had he summoned the wrong type of angel? Was that why this one was so useless? “You know, the god? That rules over all of us? The Crimson? Have you been living under a rock or what?”
“Is this what they think?” Tommy muttered. “No wonder Phil’s always fucking moping about Prime. Everybody thinks we work for the Egg?”
Tubbo’s eyes narrowed. “Are you telling me you don’t work for the Egg?”
“Would that mean you’d let me go?” Tommy suggested hopefully.
Tubbo’s shoulders relaxed. I didn’t summon the wrong angel after all then, it’s just some kind of stupid trick. “No. Come on.”
Tommy stomped after him, but his bad mood seemed to fade away quickly. He was fascinated by everything– the buildings, the sky, the bird, the people. It was oddly endearing, for an angel. Angels were supposed to be awe inspiring, not sweet and kind of oblivious about modern life. Had the book been wrong?
Then again, Tommy also cursed a lot more than Tubbo felt like an angel should, so maybe he was just weird.
They walked for a couple more seconds.
“So, where is your house?” Tommy said, abruptly.
Tubbo didn’t turn around. “415 Halo Street.”
“Are we on Halo Street?”
“Not yet. We’re going there.”
Tommy was quiet for a moment, or at least, it seemed like he was quiet. But gradually, Tubbo’s ears began to hear something, some sort of faint melody…
“Are you humming the Able Sisters?”
Tubbo turned around to stare incredulously at Tommy, who was beaming. “Yeah! It’s the only song that the bards in Twitch can play.”
“The bards…” Tubbo said slowly. “In… Twitch,” Tubbo wasn’t entirely sure what that was, but he assumed it was some sort of Crimson afterlife paradise, “only play the Able Sisters.”
Dear Crimson, I summoned a demon.
“Yeah!” Tommy said. “Cool, right?”
Tubbo stared harder. “I genuinely cannot tell if you’re fucking with me or not.”
Luckily, Tubbo was spared any further insanity, as it was only a few more moments before they got to the apartment building.
“Oh, Ranboo!” Tubbo trilled. “I brought a friend!”
There was the sound of stumbling feet, as Ranboo unlocked the door. “Tubbo– who’s– what’s– who is this? Did you kidnap someone again?”
“Kind of rude that you assume the only way I can make friends is via kidnapping,” Tubbo muttered.
“I mean it’s how you met me,” Ranboo pointed out.
Tubbo raised a finger, then lowered it. “Point. But I did not kidnap him. Well, mostly. Do you think summoning counts?”
Tommy stared. “You forcibly ripped me from my home. Yes, I think it counts.”
“I was planning to send you back! And anyways, I thought you’d want to help.”
“Oh, because that makes it so much better.”
“Look, I’m sorry , okay! I’m gonna try to send you back.”
“Only as part of a deal.”
“I’d do it any–”
“Woah, woah, woah,” Ranboo waved his hands in the air. “Back up. Summoning?”
Tommy stepped forward. “Yup! My name is Big Man Tommy Innit, angel extraordinaire. Nice to meet you.”
Ranboo just stared, seemingly paralyzed by shock.
“So,” Tommy said, still using that chipper sales-person voice. “Shall we begin?”