Chapter Text
Wen Ruohan isn’t necessarily bad with children—he’s just never had any reason to spend much time with them. His own heirs—two, just in case one falls ill or gets eaten, as young cultivators occasionally do—are well managed by their respective mothers, and rarely seek him out to fulfill their need for attention.
From Xiong Jia’s reports, the elder—Wen Xu—appears to be a tiny militant asshole, but that isn’t really his problem. Luo Xiying, on the other hand, holds out hope that Wen Chao will stop stalking his elder brother and sit down for his lessons before A-Xu grows tired of him and hangs him off the fortress ramparts.
Whatever is going on with them, they remain respectfully distanced from their father, unlike the trembling, crying child scaling his leg to escape the snapping maw of a hungry street cur.
He blinks down at the bundle of tears and rags, trying to recall what it is his wives do when their children cling to them like this and remembers Xiying cooing and bouncing Chao’er on her hip.
There are a few awkward moments of scrabbling and discomfort before the sect leader gets a proper look at the red-faced toddler.
The child is cute , with chubby red cheeks and big grey eyes, but he’s also gagging on his own panic and struggling to crawl directly into Ruohan’s robes. He will not be settled into a proper hip carry.
He has seen A-Xu carry his younger brother like this, once or twice, carting the boy about in a supportive hug as if he were an unwieldy doll.
(Wen Xu, generally speaking, does not seem to like many things, but Chao’er seems to have made the short list, as loud and needy as he is. Perhaps that neediness has contributed to his maturity.)
It’s at this moment, cradling a trembling child in his arms, that Sect Leader Wen thinks, I should give this child to my child. That will teach him responsibility.
(Because clearly, this is how children work. )
Very few people have ever questioned Wen Ruohan and escaped with the same number of body parts, so he feels reasonably confident as he resumes on his way, child in arms. His attendants look at one another in mild panic, but no one says anything.
Because that would be stupid.
…He does not expect to become attached.
-
They proceed for some distance down the street before the sobbing, shaking bundle of child blinks up at him, snorts down a gob of snot, and asks, “Where we goin’?”
Wen Ruohan responds, “Home.”
And the child squints at him. “Are you a creepy guy, uncle? The lady that lets me sleep in the shed says I gotta be careful about creepy guys.”
“What would you do if I were? You’re very small.”
“Yeah,” The boy says. “But I’m loud. I could yell and yell, and you’d have to leave me alone, because your ears would hurt.”
“That’s true. You could do that.”
One of the attendants coughs, perhaps working up the nerve to suggest leaving the boy behind.
“I have two sons your age and they’re still alive.” He offers, as if this is a mark in his favor, rather than the constant labor of two wives and a household staff.
The squinting intensifies. “Smile.”
And Wen Ruohan, the unquestioned Sun of Qishan Wen, studies this cheerfully demanding, snot-ridden child for a moment.
Smiles.
And is completely unprepared for the squeezing sensation in his chest when the little goblin beams and reaches up to squish his cheeks. “That’s a good one!”
(And that’s around when he goes from I will bring my children a pet to I would die for this rat. )
He wonders if Jia and Xiying are this attached to their own angry children. Or if those children will feel immediately moved to care for this malnourished ball of baby.
-
Presented with another, smaller child to look out for, Wen Xu is quiet. It does not do to question their father.
Wen Chao, on the other hand, elects to lose his shit immediately.
He falls onto his backside, red-faced and yowling , and Wei Ying—because that is the new boy’s name: Wei Ying—plops down right beside him and blinks at A-Xu as if he holds all the answers.
In this case, it seems he does.
“He wants attention.” A-Xu says, but hesitates to provide it in their father’s company.
“Oh.” A-Ying says, and then crawls into A-Chao’s lap, wraps him up in his tiny arms, and squeezes. “All better! Love you!” And then smacks a ridiculous toddler kiss against A-Chao’s rage-flushed cheek.
Which is, apparently, the trick to making the boy immediately stop crying, even if it is because he is confused.
Wen Chao scrunches up his little nose and asks, “Who are you, anyway?”
The answer is your new little brother.
-
Fortunately, the addition of Wei Ying to their family does have a positive impact on the younger Wen heir being less of an intolerable little asshole, but it comes with unforeseen complications.
Like Wei Ying himself being both innately curious and amazingly unconcerned for his own survival. He understands, from his conversations with the new brothers Uncle Wen let him have, that he does not spend very much time with them, and they’re a little sad about it.
The entire sect finds out just how clever Wei Ying is when he begins screwing with the security arrays to gain entrance to Ruohan’s study.
The whole compound is screaming. Explosions are going off. Two sets of unmanned armor swing polearms that leave terrible gouges in the floors, but never manage to strike the underweight miscreant as he skitters across the threshold, onto Ruohan’s desk, and levels him with the most disappointed look a six-year-old has ever managed.
Wen Ruohan says, “Wei Ying. What the fuck .”
Which is, unfortunately, an omen.
-
Wen Ruohan wakes up from an unscheduled nap to the sounds of wailing outside his door, and finds Wen Chao in the hallway, knee bloodied and clutching what looks like a very large paper kite in his hands.
…it is not a kite.
Which explains why Xiying is lying pale and crumpled on the floor.
Ruohan blinks down at his two-dimensional foster child. His two-dimensional foster child blinks back at him. “Uncle!” The distressingly flat child chirps up at him, “The gap was so small!”
-
Wen Mei receives an urgent summons to Qishan to reinflate a six-year-old , and finds herself oddly heartened by the way the sect heirs each cling to a skinny ankle.
“Don’t pout at me, young man.” She huffs. “You could have knocked like a normal person!”
“But then I wouldn’t have learned anything new.” He frowns. “That’s how inventing works.”
“What exactly did you learn from this, other than a cheap tactic to terrorize your Aunt?”
And Wei Ying says, “Anything can be flat if you try hard enough.”
As if this is not horrifying.
So he’s going to need to pay more attention to the children.
-
Wen Ruohan finds that he likes spending time with his children.
Wen Mei insists that children, like flowers, flourish given loving care and sufficient sunlight, which explains why Wen Ning has shot up like a weed and why his own children become markedly less irritating when he takes the time to sit with them over dinner.
His wives grow more beautiful—perhaps from the relief of his favor in their sons’ lives—and he finds that he likes the unconditional love and approval he gets from these small, precocious hellions.
Wen Xu flourishes during tactical and theoretical discussions with his father, and shows a promising inclination toward learning sect management skills.
Wen Chao despairs of his own lack of useful skills until it becomes apparent that his juvenile tendency to hold grudges is accompanied by an eerily perfect memory. He can remember names, faces, and minor details with unnerving clarity.
He is delighted to hear that these are the makings of a skilled negotiator, and somehow even more eager when Wei Ying tells him that this means he’ll make a lot of friends.
“Because people like it when you remember their names!”
And then the lot of them look at Ruohan across the table, chopsticks midway to his mouth, and he feels as if he is about to be manipulated. Again.
“Baba,” Chao’er says in the cloying tone that he has begun to find more endearing than suspicious. “I want to make a lot of friends.”
Wen Ruohan hums, considering this as he sets his utensils down. “It couldn’t hurt to improve relations with our neighbors.”
It really couldn’t.
At present, Nie Zixin could not find Wen Ruohan a bigger asshole.
But he does agree to host a playdate with surprising alacrity.
-
As it turns out, Nie Zixin’s younger son is a birdnapping, blackmailing headache restrained only (and then, only occasionally) by his elder brother’s hand fisted in the back of his robes.
Wen Ruohan discovers this when he greets Nie Huaisang, the smiling blossom of the Qinghe plains, who asks if he would like to know a secret—
And he knows from experience that this can either be cute or make one or both of his wives pass out—
But the boy is so small and sweet -looking, and also it is not immediately obvious that there was an entire waterfowl tucked into his robes.
Nie Zixin gives him the flattest possible look as Nie Huaisang, Wen Chao, and Wei Ying immediately chase after the hollering bird. Wen Xu stays by his father’s side less out of etiquette and more out of his total disinterest in being bitten by something new.
“Sect Leader Wen,” Zixin sighs. “Wine?”
And that is the root of how sect relations improve drastically between Qinghe and Qishan.
-
In addition to commiseration and quality alcohol, the newly-established intersect playdates yield considerable benefits for the children. Huaisang is fast friends with Wei Ying, and very skilled at keeping him occupied and out of greater trouble.
He is also very patient with Wen Chao, and takes care to understand the easily flustered boy’s feelings.
Mingjue and Wen Xu settle comfortably into a friendly rivalry, mired in the dignity of first heirs with troublesome younger brothers.
A-Xu acknowledges that Mingjue is a tough nut to crack, but he’s very skilled at observing people, and so he learns before anyone else that Nie Mingjue is in love with the much-lauded first heir of the Lan sect.
“Really,” Wen Xu despairs. “The way Mingjue speaks, you’d think Lan Huan shat music. But even he can’t keep all those rules straight. A-Chao probably could, but there’s no guarantee he’d follow them.”
And that’s true.
The Lan rules are exceptionally rigid.
Which is what first makes Wen Ruohan think, ‘ Maybe rigorous exercise and strict regimen would tire them out.’
-
Ha.
-
It has been a very long time since any Wens visited the Cloud Recesses, so when Wen Ruohan sends his request to the newly-appointed Acting Sect Leader, it makes sense that Lan Qiren first writes to Nie Zixin to verify that this is not, in fact, some bullshit.
(Or this is the way in which Nie Zixin relays the matter to Wen Ruohan, who has long suspected that Lans probably combust if a foul word ever crosses their lips.)
Nie Zixin writes back that, no, Sect Leader Wen is not shitting him, and has recently become more involved with his children, granting him a new perspective.
(That perspective being that children are gremlins , but this Qiren will soon discover for himself.)
So Nie Zixin organizes a joint visit: the Wen children will accompany Mingjue and Huaisang on their next visit to the Cloud Recesses, primarily to visit the disciplinary icon, Lan Huan.
And then there’s Lan Zhan.
-
Lan Zhan has not spent a great deal of time with anyone since his mother’s passing, so it comes as a surprise to pretty much everyone when Wei Ying almost immediately makes himself comfortable tugging the boy about by the sash.
They spend hours together quick-shuffling down shaded paths and wading in the stone-littered rivers and pools of the high mountain, playing hide and seek in the fog. It is in this way that Wei Ying teaches Lan Zhan how to smile again.
And it is because of this patient, cheerful encouragement that Lan Zhan removes Wei Ying’s grip from his sash and laces their fingers instead, a flush on his round cheeks. “Okay.” He says.
And so when they stumble back down the path, and run into a Lan disciple who asks if Young Master Wei would not like to play with Nie Huaisang instead, he simply frowns, “But I’m not gonna marry Huaisang.”
After which the handholding formally begins.
And several adults become very nervous.
-
One evening, Wei Ying storms into their designated guest chambers while Wen Chao is busy recreating a tune Lan Huan played for him earlier on a borrowed xiao. He pauses, the heavy frown disappearing momentarily as he coos in admiration.
“Pretty!” He cheers when A-Chao lowers the instrument to receive his praise.
“I think I’ve got it, but I wanna make sure. Huan-xiong was really patient, but he makes it look way easier than it is. My lips are numb.”
He blows out a gust of air, lips vibrating demonstratively.
Wen Xu stretches, setting his latest reading aside. “We’re fortunate that they’re sharing so much information with us. A-die said they were very nervous about having us visit.”
His sharp brown eyes seem to pierce through Wei Ying, waiting.
“I think they’re dumb.”
A-Chao levels the xiao at him, accusing. “You can’t start shit here. It’s against the rules .”
“It’s against the rules at home, too.” A-Xu sighs. “You’re both just stubborn morons.”
…
“Don’t look at me like that. He’s the one planning to bring down the mountain.”
“I am not. ” Wei Ying pouts. “I just need my notes.”
That, at least, yields a firm and simultaneous, “No.”
-
The thing is that Wei Ying, as small as he is, is a helper . He likes solving problems, even if that means creating five more. Often especially if that means creating five more—because it creates a complex series of problems to solve.
But Lan Zhan has not had time to learn this.
He knows only that his beloved Wei Ying listens eagerly to all of his problems.
So he tells Wei Ying about his mother being gone, and his father being in seclusion. Which is a very fancy word for ‘not coming out of his little house, not even to see his sons, not even after their mother died.’
Which makes Lan Zhan very sad!
But he can’t really tell anyone but Wei Ying, because to complain excessively is against the rules, and Lan Zhan is afraid he will be punished.
Wei Ying is afraid of nothing .
Wei Ying would fight the immortals for a sweet bun. Or for free, if he was bored.
Qinghengjun’s door is locked.
Wei Ying knows precisely how to fix that.
-
Wen Ruohan departs Qishan when he receives an urgent missive that his ward is fucking flat again.
Wedged himself right under Lan Cenrong’s door.
Lan Cenrong was horrified.
Lan Qiren was even more horrified.
So Wen Ruohan sits in the Orchid Room with both of the Lan sect’s leaders, listening to Lan Qiren read him the riot act. Wen Mei sits beside him fussing over a gradually reinflating Wei Ying, who is in turn cradled in the arms of an inconsolable Lan Zhan, who refuses to leave Sect Leader Wen’s lap.
He studies the redness of Lan Qiren’s face, the way he trembles in anger.
He feels Wei Ying’s weight increase, from paper to person, just as he rallied from starving orphan to beloved son. Just as he became theirs.
He bows his head respectfully as Lan Qiren unleashes every ounce of panic his lungs can muster and hides the curve of his lips as best he can, thinking, ‘ Angry man hot.’
-
It takes a few years to convince Lan Qiren, once again, that Wen Ruohan is not at all shitting him when he calls him his pretty àiren.
The Wens are a wild breed, but they do have certain redeeming features.
Not the least of which is their particular ability to make the Lans smile.
-
On the bright side, it makes it much easier to negotiate a marriage between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji once they come of age.