Chapter Text
“Alright Jackie, fess up,” Hyde jokingly demanded.
Jackie didn’t look up from the magazine she was reading while sitting at the Forman Family kitchen table. Instead, her face scrunched up in confusion as several pairs of eyes in the room turned their attention towards her. Normally, she would bask in the attention that was settled on her, but not when she was being accused of something that she wasn’t sure she did.
“Fess up to what?” She blandly asked, flipping the page loudly. Steven had been getting on her nerves lately, and not in a cute way. Normally he’d do his best to poke holes in the “capitalist national holiday” better known as “Christmas”, but he’d been keeping his conspiracy rants to himself. It was both a blessing and a curse, because now Jackie really didn’t know what was on his mind.
Until now; it was clear that the only thing on his mind was some kind of make believe scheme she had. Well he was going to be sorely disappointed.
Jackie pulled her eyes away from the paragraph she was reading to look up at Hyde who had been standing over her shoulder this whole time.
“Just lay it on me already, I can take it,” He tried to goad her into revealing her plan.
Instead, Jackie whipped her head to Eric who was sitting across from her with an equally confused expression. He shrugged his shoulders, and Jackie did the same, mocking Eric’s face in the process.
“Steven, I don’t know what the heck you’re talking about,” Jackie replied annoyingly.
Kitty shuffled around the kitchen, moving various bags filled with ingredients around the counters. But the sound of her heels on the smooth floor stopped abruptly at Jackie’s words.
“Jackie, Sweetie,” she called out with a big smile. “Around this time of year, we use Hark instead of heck! ” She nodded her head excitedly as Eric rolled his eyes away from his embarrassing mother.
Jackie just smiled sweetly. “Okay, Mrs. Forman!” She turned back around to look at Steven who was still waiting for the big reveal. “Steven,” she said his name with such charm it made him smirk, “I have no idea what the Hark you’re talking about!”
Hyde watched as Jackie patted his hand reassuringly and went back to reading her magazine. The smirk on his face disappeared and he looked around the room confused.
“Seriously? You’ve got nothing?”
Jackie spun around in her chair hastily. “I don’t have nothing!” That’s what he was bugging her about? “I have a dazzling smile, a keen sense of fashion, and an amazing personality.”
Eric scoffed, “Does any of that constitute as something ?” He started to chuckle at the burn until Jackie set her sights on him.
“They’re some things you don’t have!”
Eric opened his mouth to say something before Hyde interjected. “Forman, stay out of this, alright? Nobody wants to hear about your somethings .”
Jackie stood up, tired of being in the middle of the two. “Steven, I know you’re a Stooge when it comes to words, but you seriously need to spit out whatever it is you’re trying to say so I can tell you whatever it is you want to hear!”
The kitchen lulled into a silence as the other two gossipers in the room looked back and forth between the couple. Hyde finally gave in since Jackie wasn’t making this easy for him (which was typical of her). He finally sighed and shrugged his shoulders.
“Fine,” he muttered. “Jackie, what do you want for Christmas?”
“Oh, boy here it comes,” Eric added, playfully getting ready to cover his ears.
Kitty moved over to the phone and started rolling the memo paper down the wall. “Now hold on a second, let me get some paper and a pencil ready!” She scurried out the kitchen door hoping to find something to write with quickly.
“Just bring the whole roll, Mom! You’ve really done it now, Hyde— asking Jackie what kind of present she wants? You might as well be asking Darth Vader which planets he wanted destroyed!”
Everyone’s stared blankly at Eric.
“What? You think he would’ve stopped at just obliterating Alderaan?? It was a planet destroyer! You don’t have something like that built to use it on just one planet! It was obviously meant for something—”
Hyde pointed with irritation. “Man, I told you to shut up about your somethings!”
“Hey, something is better than—”
“NOTHING!” Jackie yelled in the midst of the abrupt chaos.
“Yeah,” Eric agreed with her, “That’s what I was gonna say.”
“Not that!” She yelled back, causing Eric to shrink in his seat. Jackie took a deep breath and composed herself, tucking her hair behind her ears and placing her hands on her hips with a shrug. “Nothing,” she repeated, this time directed at Hyde.
“Nothing… what?” Hyde asked her, not fully understanding what she was saying.
“That’s what I want for Christmas.” Jackie’s tone wasn’t sad nor was it spiteful. It sounded like she was genuine.
Hyde looked for some kind of tell to reveal her intentions, but when she looked at him as confidently as she always did, he just couldn’t figure her out. She must’ve been trying to out zen him, or maybe this was just some kind of trick that she’ll berate him for getting wrong later.
“Is… this a joke?” He finally asked, watching her brow raise in disbelief. “Is there an expensive perfume out there called Nothing and that’s what you want me to get you?”
Jackie just shook her head.
Hyde couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and judging by the look on Eric’s face, neither could he. Jackie didn’t want something for Christmas? This had to be some elaborate burn— which was odd because if anything she would’ve tried to get as many gifts out of him as she could.
“I don’t get it.”
He watched as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “You asked what I wanted for Christmas, and I said nothing, what’s there not to get?”
Eric raised his hand. “Um, how about the part where you’re forfeiting any and all gift giving on a holiday where gifts are practically a given .”
Jackie sneered, “Oh, don’t think you’re off the hook.” She turned back to Hyde and smiled softly, “Only Steven.”
A quick peck on his lips and a pat on his arm was all she gave him, leaving him even more confused than before. There was no whining, no pouting, no dropping not-so-subtle hints that Hyde would pretend not to pick up before giving in and getting her something she least expected but nonetheless appreciated. Now she just wanted nothing?
This had to be a trap.
Alright, if that’s the way Jackie wanted to play, he was game.
“So you’re telling me, I don’t have to get you anything for Christmas and you won’t get mad?”
Jackie sighed again, tired of giving the same answer over and over again.
“Steven, I’m telling you, I don’t want anything for Christmas,” She watched as he was about to respond but cut him off quickly, “I mean it!”
Jackie took his hands into hers and grasped them tight. Her eyes tried to see his under his shades, and though it was hard, she still managed to find them. She was always able to find them when she truly wanted Steven to see and understand her.
“I don’t want anything for Christmas,” She repeated, giving his hands another squeeze.
Hyde’s confusion turned into concern. Jackie loved presents, even the awful ones where she painfully tried to hide her contempt. He had secretly been waiting for her to bug him about what he was going to get her, just so he could brush it off like he always did, but her prodding never came. The first week, Hyde chalked it up to being busy with the decorating. Second week came, and the only thing Jackie mentioned about gifts was how Eric better get Donna something good. Now they were going on through the third week and Jackie hadn’t so much as written one list or circled any items in the many catalogs spread throughout the basement.
He should’ve felt relieved about it— not having to buy Jackie a present— it’s what he always said he was going to do. Then the thought of her eyes lighting up opening something he had picked out for her himself reminded him why he did it in the first place. Jackie would gush to anyone and everyone over whatever he got her, even if it wasn’t anything impressive at all. Was she tired of it— telling him what she wanted only to get passive responses from him? Did Jackie think that no present from him was better than anything?
Or maybe she just didn’t want something from him.
The feeling in Hyde’s gut started to twist. He didn’t want to mess it up this time.
“You’re sure?” He asked, almost pleading for Jackie to go back to her normal whining ways— because that was Jackie.
She continued to smile brightly, just like she always did. “I’m sure.”
Jackie placed another kiss on his lips and let go of his hands, not noticing Hyde letting them drop to his side disheartenedly. He was trying not to let Jackie’s dismissive demeanor get to him, but he couldn’t help the nagging feeling that.something wasn’t right, or that he had done something wrong.
He had that feeling a lot over the past year.
Hyde watched as Jackie took her coat off of the back of her chair and swiftly put it on. “Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow to help Mrs. Forman with the baking—”
“Does my Mom know you’re going to be a Christmas Dinner liability?” Eric teased from his seat, finally having the courage to speak up despite the couple’s weird present talk.
Jackie smirked, “Does your Mom know that under your mattress is a copy of—”
“ALRIGHT!” Eric stood up, almost knocking his chair over. He swiped the magazine off the table, pushed it into Jackie’s hands and forcefully guided her out the sliding door. Jackie giggled as he did so, and even more when he slid the glass door a little too hard, flipping the lock hastily.
Eric cringed when he felt Hyde step next to him, getting ready for Hyde to pile onto Jackie’s teasing, but it never came. When Eric glanced over, it seemed like he was in some sort of trance— having some critical inner monologue. The only time he had ever seen Hyde so dazed was when they sat in their favorite shape, and frankly it was freaking Eric out a bit.
“Well,” he began, waiting for Hyde to react in some way. “It seems like you really lucked out this year, huh?” Still no reply, so Eric kept going, “I mean, you didn’t like buying presents anyway, right?”
Hyde watched as Jackie carefully walked across the driveway and past the hedges to the Pinciotti house. She didn’t turn back once to see if he was watching her, nor was she shedding tears where she thought no one could see.
Jackie was serious.
Hyde let out a short defeated sigh. “Yeah, lucky me.”
He knew he should’ve been glad— one less thing to worry about, and with the promise that Jackie wouldn’t hold this over his head, Hyde should’ve been looking forward to a drama-free holiday. It was what he secretly wanted every year, wasn’t it? But as Jackie disappeared from his sight, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t how he wanted to spend Christmas.