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“Mya-chan!” Sasaki greets Miyano with a smile and a wave as he steps onto the train. His boyfriend perks up at the sight of him.
His boyfriend. The thought still sends a thrill through him. It had barely even been two weeks, but now that Miyano is finally his boyfriend , Sasaki is happier than ever. They’re still sharing music and manga and food, just like before, but now Sasaki knows that it’s not just these things that Miyano is excited about - it’s being with Sasaki, too.
“Good morning,” Miyano greets Sasaki, and it’s only then that Sasaki realizes he’s wearing a mask.
He frowns. “Are you not feeling well, Mya-chan?”
Miyano waves his concern away. “I’m fine. Just a bit of a cold.” Eyes sparkling, he leans toward Sasaki. “Did you finish it yet?”
He really does seem fine, Sasaki reflects as they discuss the latest manga. Miyano attacks the subject with his usual enthusiasm. If it weren’t for the mask and the occasional dry cough, Sasaki never would have even realized he was sick. He forces his concern to the back of his brain, focusing on the conversation.
When the train pulls up to their stop, Miyano stands from where he had been facing Sasaki, who was standing. They exit the train with their arms just barely brushing. Sasaki wants so badly to take his hand, but he’s acutely aware of all the people surrounding them. Nobody is looking their way, not now, but he’s afraid it wouldn’t stay that way.
He’d thought touching Miyano would be easier once they started dating, not harder. In the time he’d spent waiting for Miyano’s answer, Sasaki had practically subsisted on guilty fantasies of holding Miyano’s hand, squeezing him tight to his chest in a hug, walking with his arm draped around Miyano’s shoulders while Miyano’s encircles Sasaki’s waist. But now that they’re actually together, Sasaki worries about how public they should be.
He knows that plenty of their classmates know, and are fine with it, and he’s confident he could handle anyone trying to start anything. But he’s not so sure about strangers in public. And besides, even though Miyano had said he was willing to accept the realities of how others would see their relationship, Sasaki didn’t want to subject him to them if he didn’t have to. He can tell Miyano has similar misgivings; he walks next to Sasaki, close, but not reaching out to bridge the distance.
So they walk to school standing so close together that they bump shoulders and hips (or would, if Miyano was a little taller), but with enough plausible deniability that they could pass the touch off as unintentional.
It’s only once they’re through the school gates that they can relax a little. Miyano stretches his hand out and intertwines his fingers loosely with Sasaki’s. Sasaki can’t contain the grin that crosses his face, and fondness flits through Miyano’s eyes in response.
When it comes time to separate for class, Sasaki reluctantly lets Miyano’s hand go, dragging his fingertips across Miyano’s palm before finally releasing his touch. Miyano’s cheeks flush slightly pink.
“I’ll see you after school?” Sasaki says, though it’s not really a question.
Miyano turns his head away from Sasaki to cough into his elbow, despite the fact that he’s already wearing a mask. So conscientious… so cute. Sasaki wants to squeeze Miyano tight and take him to class with him.
“Of course,” Miyano says when he turns back, smile audible in his tone. “Bookstore today, right?”
“Yup.” Miyano turns to go. “Take it easy today, okay, Mya-chan?” Sasaki calls after him, doggedly trying to ignore the worry sneaking its way back towards the forefront of his brain. Miyano waves over his shoulder before disappearing into his classroom.
As usual, Sasaki’s mind wanders away from the pages of his notebook during each lesson. Not as usual, it blunders straight into a bramble bush of concern for Miyano. He can’t help but flash back to the time Miyano had taken care of him in the nurse’s office. He’d thought he was fine at first, but the moment Miyano had taken charge, it was like all of his symptoms hit all at once. What if the same happens to Miyano? He’d rather his boyfriend not be sick at all, of course, but if it did…
Jealousy spikes through him at the thought of anyone other than him looking after Mya-chan. He grits his teeth, fingers tightening into fists, even as he berates himself for having the thought at all. Sure, he wants it to be him, but someone has to take care of Miyano if he can’t be there. As hard as it is to stand the thought of another person’s hands on Miyano, the thought of him sick and alone is worse.
“Oi.” Hirano’s voice jolts him out of his thoughts. “What’s with the scary face?”
Sasaki blinks. Hirano is turned around in his seat, staring quizzically back at Sasaki.
“Nothing,” Sasaki tries.
“Is it about Miyano?”
Damn. No hiding anything from his friend, apparently. “...Yeah. He wasn’t feeling well this morning. I’m worried about him.”
“Is that so?” Hirano considers for a moment. “But he still came to school this morning?”
“Yeah.”
“Did it seem to you like he shouldn’t have?”
“Well… no.”
“Then he’s probably fine.”
Hirano turns back around in his seat. Sasaki sighs. He knows Hirano’s logic is sound, but anxiety still pricks at him as the memory of Miyano’s cough echoes in his ears.
“Go see him at lunch if you’re so worried about it,” Hirano says, not turning around.
That’s a good idea, actually. “I think I will. Thanks, Hirano.”
“Mm-hm.”
The last hour of class before lunch stretches like taffy, feeling like triple the length it actually is. Sasaki is the first one out the door the moment class ends. Hirano tries to say something to him, but Sasaki ignores him. If it’s that important, Hirano will just text him.
“Mya-chan!” Sasaki calls from the door of the classroom. Miyano’s hand pops up, waving him over. Sasaki wastes no time in joining him, pulling Miyano in for a tight hug.
“Sasaki,” Miyano’s muffled voice comes from the area of his chest, “I can’t hug you back if you keep my arms pinned like this.”
“Sorry.” Sasaki loosens his grip just enough for Miyano to snake his arms around Sasaki’s torso.
He wishes they could stay like this forever, but they’ve got company. Sasaki finally releases Miyano and turns to greet his friends. “Hey, guys.”
“Hi,” Tashiro chirps. Kuresawa is engrossed in his phone - probably his girlfriend - but he offers Sasaki a cordial nod. The polite thing to do would be to engage them in conversation for a bit, but Miyano quickly reclaims his attention.
“So Sasaki-” It’s not long before he’s knee deep into a spoiler-free review of the BL he’s currently reading. Sasaki, of course, is captivated by him. He feels a little guilty for brushing off Tashiro and Kuresawa, but they seem content chatting to each other; they get to talk to Miyano all during class, after all.
Lunch comes to an end all too soon, and he bids Miyano a reluctant goodbye. Miyano smiles indulgently. “We’re going to the bookstore in like, three hours.”
Sasaki pouts. “That’s a whole three hours away.”
Miyano chuckles and waves him away. “Bye, Sasaki.”
Unlike on the way here, Sasaki doesn’t hurry back to his classroom. He drops into his seat just an instant before the teacher enters.
Hirano half-turns to him. “How’s Miyano?”
“Huh?”
Hirano looks exasperated. “You said he was sick?”
“Oh.” Sasaki had forgotten in the face of Miyano’s utter normalcy at lunch. “He’s okay.”
“Good.” Hirano turns away, and Sasaki settles in for the final stretch of classes.
At long last, the school day ends. Sasaki has been looking forward to the bookstore - and Miyano - all day, so he hurries to go meet him. If he’s quick, he can catch him as he’s coming out of the classroom and then he won’t have to wait for him at the lockers. He’s practically floating through the hallways-
And then he sees Miyano, and the joy rushes out of him like he’s been punctured.
Miyano’s face is flushed and haggard above his mask, and his friends stand on either side of him, each with a steadying hand on his shoulder. For an instant Sasaki is rooted to the spot in shock, and then the next he’s flying through the hallway to his boyfriend. He nearly flattens another student, who just barely dodges out of the way in time. By the time it registers that he ought to stop and apologize, he’s already in front of Miyano. When his amber eyes lift sluggishly to meet Sasaki’s, all thoughts of the other student evaporate.
“Mya-chan,” he croons, reaching to pull him in. Kuresawa and Tashiro readily step back, trusting Sasaki wholeheartedly with their friend. Miyano flops into Sasaki’s embrace, making no move to raise his own arms around Sasaki; it’s completely at odds with the way he had acted earlier at lunchtime. Sasaki clutches Miyano tighter, as much to soothe his own distress as Miyano’s, acutely aware of how weak and warm Miyano feels in his arms.
“Why didn’t you go to the nurse?” he whispers, then immediately regrets it, not wanting Miyano to feel he’s being reprimanded when what he needs is Sasaki’s care.
“Just started feeling bad a half an hour ago,” Miyano rasps, and Sasaki could cry at how wrecked his voice sounds. “Seemed silly to leave so close to the end of the day.”
Sasaki wants to argue the point, but he decides not to get into it now - it’s not like his track record is any better, and Miyano doesn’t need a lecture right now. “C’mon,” he murmurs, tugging Miyano gently along with him. “I’ll walk you home. We’ll do the bookstore another day. When you’re better.”
Miyano only nods and lets himself be guided away, which only worries Sasaki even more. Normally, Miyano would be falling over himself trying to reassure Sasaki that he didn’t have to go out of his way for Miyano. For him not to say anything means he must really be feeling bad.
In contrast to Miyano’s usual chatter, their walk is quiet, punctuated by Miyano’s coughs, which come heavier and more frequent than they had this morning. Sasaki lets go of him just long enough to slip Miyano’s backpack off and sling it over his own shoulder, before settling his arm around Miyano’s shoulders in its place. Any and all concerns about people’s reaction to seeing them together are secondary to Miyano’s condition - in fact, he dares anyone to call him out for holding his sick boyfriend. Sasaki would make them regret it, and he’d probably have the support of most onlookers.
Mercifully, as he’d predicted, no one gives them any looks save the occasional concerned or pitying glance from a few older women, probably with kids of their own. When they board the train, a young man in business attire hops up from his seat the moment he sees the two of them. Sasaki gives him a grateful nod as he lowers himself and Miyano into the vacant seats.
Miyano dozes off and on the entire ride, head resting on Sasaki’s shoulder. The sign for Miyano’s stop flashes, and Sasaki hates to wake him, but there’s no way he’s strong enough to carry Miyano all the way back to his house, much as he wishes he could. “Mya-chan,” he says, shaking his boyfriend gently. Miyano’s eyes slowly blink open. Sasaki manages to get him standing just as the doors slide open.
Sasaki is alarmed by how much Miyano’s condition has worsened since school let out. Though he was clearly miserable before, Miyano had at least seemed aware of his surroundings. Now, he barely seems to register where Sasaki is taking him, dragging his feet and leaning heavily on Sasaki. This isn’t ideal, seeing as Sasaki has only been over to Miyano’s house once and isn’t entirely sure he remembers the way.
To his immense relief, he spots a house that he’s pretty sure is the right one. “Mya-chan. Is that your house?” It takes a second for Miyano’s eyes to focus where Sasaki points, but once he sees it, he gets something of a second wind, and picks up the pace. Sasaki gladly follows, steadying his shoulders once he stops in front of the door to dig out his house key.
“Can I come in?” The words leave Sasaki’s mouth the moment the door opens. He hadn’t planned on asking, but he has free time anyway since they’d been planning the bookstore today, and just the thought of his poor, sick boyfriend home alone is enough to spoil the rest of his afternoon.
Miyano hesitates in the doorway. “I don’t wanna trouble you…” There’s that excuse. But it sounds weak, like Miyano is trying to convince himself rather than Sasaki.
“Please let me take care of you,” he says softly. “I want to make sure you’re okay.” Miyano wavers, then nods, looking more relieved than anything else, so Sasaki follows him in, depositing both of their backpacks on the floor.
Sasaki has barely gotten his shoes off as Miyano discards his own and moves rapidly towards the couch, flopping onto it facedown in a way that would have been adorable if Sasaki wasn’t so worried about him. He follows behind his boyfriend, frowning. “Are you sure you don’t want to be in your bed?” The couch is small, too short even for Miyano to stretch out comfortably on.
“Don’t wanna walk anymore,” Miyano mutters into the pillow, and the sentence is punctuated by a particularly thick and wet fit of coughing. Sasaki rubs his back until it passes.
“Can I carry you?” he asks as Miyano gets his breath back. Miyano’s eyes widen, and his face flushes even redder above his mask. Sasaki immediately knows his mind has gone to BL, and he chuckles. “Here. Roll over for me.”
Miyano does as he asks, not meeting his eyes. Sasaki gets his arms under Miyano’s knees and shoulders and lifts him. Miyano’s not exactly light, but he is small, and the distance from Miyano’s couch to his bed is far more manageable than the train station to the house would have been. Sasaki gets him tucked into bed without too much trouble.
“Mya-chan,” he whispers, stroking his hair back from his forehead, “where do you keep your thermometer?”
“Bathroom,” Miyano mumbles, seeming on the verge of falling asleep.
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
When he returns with the thermometer and a damp washcloth, Miyano is snoring softly. Sasaki settles the washcloth carefully on his forehead, and then considers the thermometer. It’s an oral thermometer, and he doesn’t want to wake Miyano, but given the fact that Miyano had been struggling to walk Sasaki is really concerned about his temperature. Taking care not to wake him, Sasaki removes Miyano’s mask and gently pokes the thermometer into Miyano’s mouth. Miyano doesn’t stir, so he just holds it there, hoping the reading will be accurate enough.
When the thermometer beeps, it reads 38.5.
Pretty high, but not as high as Sasaki had feared it would be. Miyano has remained fast asleep; now that Sasaki has a number on his temperature, he’s not really sure what to do with himself.
He watches Miyano sleep for a while, then turns around, thinking it’s weird to stare, then turns back, thinking that he needs to watch in case Miyano gets worse. Dampening the washcloth periodically gives him something to do. The thought crosses his mind that it would be more efficient to bring in a bowl of water instead of traipsing back and forth between the bathroom and Miyano’s room, but the opportunity to walk is the only thing stopping him from going stir-crazy right now.
After over an hour of Miyano sleeping relatively soundly, Sasaki starts to entertain the idea of going home. He’s still unsettled by the thought of leaving his boyfriend alone, but it doesn’t seem like Miyano really needs him here, and he’s honestly not sure if his parents will be pleased to find Sasaki here when they get home.
He’s nearly convinced himself to go when Miyano whimpers in his sleep, shifting restlessly. The washcloth slides off of his furrowed brow. Sasaki palms it and frowns - Miyano definitely feels warmer. He takes the washcloth back to the bathroom to wet, hurrying this time. But when he tries to replace it on Miyano’s forehead, his boyfriend flinches away from it. “Too cold,” he rasps, eyes fluttering open. “Why’s it so…” It takes a second for his gaze to focus. “Sasaki? ‘S that you?”
“Yeah, it’s me, Mya-chan,” Sasaki answers softly. “Sorry to wake you.” Miyano shakes his head absentmindedly. “Can I please put this on your forehead? We need to bring down your fever.”
“But it’s so cold …” It’s then that Sasaki realizes that Miyano is trembling with chills underneath the blankets, and he doesn’t have the heart to force the cold washcloth onto him, though he knows it would help his fever in the long run.
Sighing, he sets the cloth to the side. “Can I take your temperature, then?”
Miyano nods and dutifully opens his mouth for Sasaki. He stares ahead with glassy eyes, shivering, until the beep sounds. “What’s it say?” he asks when Sasaki removes the thermometer.
“38.8.” Sasaki sighs. “Could be worse, but I really wish it would go down.”
“Mmm.” Miyano shudders and curls in on himself. “S-Sasaki, I’m so cold…”
Sasaki’s heart pangs. If he could switch places with Miyano, he would do it in a heartbeat. He doesn’t like seeing Miyano miserable like this - and, if he’s being honest, he feels like Miyano is a lot more natural at this whole caretaking thing than he is. Looking at his boyfriend huddled up in a ball, it’s clear that all that he wants right now is to be warm. Sasaki doesn’t have any idea how to help him. Except…
“Mya-chan, can I-” He swallows, throat suddenly dry. “Can I hold you?”
There’s not even time for him to overthink what he’s just asked, because instantly Miyano lifts the covers so he can come in. He shivers harder as the cool air hits his skin, so Sasaki wastes no time in clambering into bed next to him and wrapping his arms tight around his too-hot frame.
Though he doesn’t stop shaking, Miyano sighs contentedly as soon as Sasaki has him, burying his face in Sasaki’s chest. Despite the fact that his bangs are soaked with sweat and water, Sasaki can’t help but give him a gentle kiss on the forehead; all the worry and affection for Miyano arcing through him needs an outlet somehow. “I’ve got you, Mya-chan,” he soothes, running gentle hands up and down his boyfriend’s back. “Try and go back to sleep, okay?”
Slowly, Miyano relaxes in Sasaki’s embrace, pressing close as he absorbs Sasaki’s body heat. Sasaki can tell he’s drifted off again when his breathing evens out; he breathes his own sigh of relief.
Shortly thereafter, he hears a door open. “Yoshikazu?” a voice calls. “Do you have a friend over?” Miyano’s mother - she must have seen Sasaki’s shoes and backpack by the door.
Though he’d rather stay here and fall asleep with Miyano, Sasaki carefully disentangles himself. Thankfully, Miyano doesn’t wake, and he tiptoes to the door.
“Oh!” Miyano’s mother is surprised to see him emerging from her son’s room. “I didn’t realize you were coming over today, Sasaki.”
“Sorry to intrude,” Sasaki says with a slight bow, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb his boyfriend’s sleep. “Miyano wasn’t feeling well, so I stayed to look after him. I hope that’s okay.”
Her face creases with worry. “Is he worse since this morning?”
Sasaki nods. “He started running a fever at the end of the day. He’s sleeping now.”
“Thank you so much for watching him,” Miyano’s mother says, already rushing past him to get into Miyano’s room. Sasaki takes his leave. While he’s still worried, he knows Miyano’s mother will take good care of him, probably better than he could.
Miyano isn’t on the train or at school the next morning, and Sasaki is on edge all the next day. Hirano turns to face him.
“Is it Miyano again?”
Sasaki sighs. “He’s sick. For real this time. Yesterday after school he could hardly walk.”
Hirano’s brow creases. “That bad?”
“Yeah.” Sasaki fiddles absentmindedly with the metal spiral of his notebook. “He’s not in today, so I’m worried he might have gotten worse.”
“Have you texted him?”
“Um. No.” Sasaki had forgotten that he had Miyano’s number.
Hirano sighs and turns back around. “Just text him before you tie yourself in knots.”
Hey Mya-chan! Are you feeling any better today?
Sasaki’s phone is practically burning a hole in his pocket as he waits, on edge, for it to buzz with a reply. There’s a few false alarms - assorted notifications, and a text from his sister - but finally, close to the end of the day, a message from Miyano comes through. Despite the risk of the teacher seeing his phone, Sasaki opens the text immediately. Relief courses through him the moment he reads it.
Sorry I didn’t see this, been sleeping all day >.< Much better now!
How are you?
Leave it to Miyano to be asking after him when Miyano’s the sick one. Sasaki types out a one word reply, the briefly hesitates before adding what he really wants to say and hitting send.
Bored. Missing you T_T
Are you in class? I don’t want you to get in trouble.
It’s almost over
Still. I won’t enable your bad study habits.
:(
I’ll text you soon, okay?
Fineeeeeeeeeeeee
Sasaki is grinning openly when he slips his phone back into his pocket, so the teacher either hasn’t been paying attention or just doesn’t care about the last fifteen minutes of class. The moment the bell rings, Sasaki’s phone is back in his hands.
Myaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-chan! :D
Class over? :)
Yes :D
Have you eaten today? How’s your fever?
I just finished some noodles my mom brought for me :) and the fever’s down a lot. My mom thinks I’ll be better by tomorrow!
That’s good I was so worried T_T You were really out of it yesterday
Yeah, I know T_T Sorry to worry you so much.
And thank you for taking care of me. :)
Sasaki’s heart skips. He’d felt way out of his depth, trying to care for Miyano, but that simple thank you reassures him. He’d done his best, and he’d helped Miyano to feel better, just a little bit.
Of course Mya-chan anytime <3
If I’m better by then do you wanna do the bookstore after school?
There’s no school tomorrow Mya-chan…
OH YEAH
I forgot what day it was haha
Tomorrow afternoon then? :)
I would love to :D
Make sure you’re all rested up though. The bookstore’s not going anywhere you know
I know. See you soon, Sasaki. :)
When Sasaki meets Miyano the next day in front of the bookstore, his eyes are clear and sparkling above his mask, and he throws his arms around Sasaki in a tight, enthusiastic hug. Sasaki hugs him back, rocking him slightly back and forth, paying no mind to anyone who might stop and stare.