Work Text:
Then
-
“Can you cook a goose?” Parker asks, out of nowhere.
Eliot’s knife slows as he is abruptly completely distracted from his apple-slicing.
“... yes?”
Parker gives him nothing else.
“... are you asking if I, specifically, can cook a goose?” She looks interested. “I mean, I could, in theory. The taboo makes it harder to source the meat over here, and this is a bad time of year for it, but I’ve eaten goose before. Could figure out a recipe.”
Parker nods and goes on her way, back upstairs (not back Up the stairs, but pulling herself up and over the railing via the little holds she installed at some point when neither he nor Hardison were actually watching, somehow).
Eliot hopes the folks who will eventually buy this home they’ve temporarily taken off the market won't mind.
-
He’s paying attention now, though, and Parker is getting… squirrelier.
She’s less visible than ever, doing significantly more sneaking than the job requires, and when they absolutely Must be out in the open together for a handoff at the lakeside, a bird honks out on the water and Parker flinches and her walk-away is almost a run.
Eliot is suspicious.
That night, back at the “rental”, he catches her for a moment (well, he hears the quiet strain of a rope, and knows she’s just slid behind him).
“Parker." He doesn't turn, leaves her her privacy... but he needs to ask. "Were you asking me about geese because of a specific goose?”
She doesn't answer, but the silence is telling.
Eliot sighs.
“They can’t actually be cooked, Parker. It’s why that’s not actually taboo in a lot of places– you can’t accidentally eat one of those geese. Anyone who has ever tried has just… not been able to catch one.”
Parker hisses unhappily, and that’s clearly all the conversation she’s willing to have.
He lets her go.
-
Eliot’s not worried. He's known this was coming for a very long time, sort of. He knows his team and the specific way Hardison tilts his head when he’s flirting, and the particular way Parker punches when she wants to rile but doesn’t actually want to hurt (which probably does bruise Hardison, since her "friendly" punches bruise Eliot)...
Does it guarantee that they will be soulmates? Of course not. Didn't even guarantee the relationship would ever even get off the ground, let alone turn into anything so... expansive. He's actually more surprised that Parker has actually let herself get comfortable enough, been open enough to the idea even, to get to this point.
It's not like the geese are legally binding or anything. Not in this culture, not now.
They're just an... unfriendly suggestion in a potential right direction, when you are ready for it, supposedly. According to science. Apparently.
Where Eliot grew up... well. He always figured on that kind of love, when he was a kid. The kind that came with a goose. His folks had a story like that, his grandparents all had a story like that, everyone was full of those stories.
But there were plenty of other stories too- when the marriage goes smooth right up until some angry bundle of muscle and feather shows up to add insult to injury-- really drive home that your person's not only cheating on you, or something, but that the affair is actually a great match for them.
On tour... that was the worst, he thought. Regular calls, regular as possible letters and packages, and then someone pulls the guy aside real sorry man but I just saw the video and in one bout of public drama, your buddy was suddenly rudderless and couldn't even be mad about it because he just wanted what was best for her, you know?
(On tour was the first time he ate goose, actually.)
Not witnessing any more of that sideshow was actually one of the things Eliot liked best about the off-the-books stuff, and then going solo.
But now here he is, and he has a team, and Parker and Hardison are great for each other, even Eliot thinks so, and they've done so much work to get there.
He can't be mad about it.
-
Of course, it all comes to a head on the convention floor.
Eliot and Hardison are in the field, trying to close the deal, there, in full view of the rest of the attendees, while Parker plays backup, ready to drop in or run interference as needed.
Eliot's had a good time on this job, Parker's-potential-goose-appointment notwithstanding. The nerd things are always great for getting Hardison all worked up. Eliot will never admit how many of the properties and things being referenced in lego-form here are actually things he knows. Some, of course, Hardison has "forced" him to see, but there's plenty here he recognizes just from things Hardison has said, jokes he's made, and research Eliot has done later.
It's just too much fun to point out the "Daggers and Dungeons" build, or the "battle-sun Galaxy ship" MOC, and watch Hardison have to fight to keep in character, when he really really wants to give Eliot a piece of his mind.
Eliot loves his job, on days like this.
And then... there's a goose.
A rumble of voices alert them to the situation first, folks chittering but making way as the bird waddles between tables of sprawling brick cities, clearly on a mission.
It comes right up to where Hardison and Eliot are still trying to keep the mark's attention, and then slows down, sort of circles, ten feet away or so.
Folks start to form a crowd, well back of the bird but circling it anyway, and it's the wrong kind of spectacle, mark completely distracted from the story Hardison actually worked very hard on. Eliot tenses, ready.
The bird suddenly takes off, shedding feathers, scaring folks, and making all kinds of ruckus, only getting maybe six feet off the ground before turning and doing it again, this time nearly catching Hardison in the neck with a stray wing. People yell, ducking for cover, and their mark rapidly backpedals towards the nearest display table.
Eliot hears a gasp in his ear, catches Hardison's Panicked gaze, and hears the zing of lines before Parker swings down out of nowhere, and a whole gaggle (Parker, Hardison, bystanders, mark, and goose) go crashing into a somewhat antisemitic display Eliot had actually been eyeing as an acceptable casualty all morning. Lizard minifigs and black and white and red brick go flying, along with feathers.
And when the hubbub settles, and the shocked and angry cries start up from whatever lug was backing this section of the hall, the mark is gone, Parker is lying on top of Hardison, and the damn goose is circling them, honking angrily. It bites Hardison on his shoulder, and then goes for Parker's hand. She swats at it, and it bites again, getting her this time, and then backs off.
It honks in an irate fashion for a few moments while the two people Eliot cares most about in the world rub at their bite marks.
And then the goose turns right around and waddles out the way it came.
Eliot gets his head back into the job. He changes his posture, and flips over his lanyard, and steps around the table.
"Look at the happy couple! Aren't you kids lucky? Bet you never thought you'd be bringing this souvenir back from our convention, amirite folks?!"
People look at him, and start to smile, and someone starts applauding, and Eliot gets the whole scene moving again, getting Hardison and Parker up as though they were just meeting now for the first time- two regular guests with a cool story, and a staff member who was conveniently nearby for the whole affair.
Eliot does a little crowd management, passes the angry builders off to the Actual convention staff who are finally showing up, takes Hardison and Parker, both now grinning their fake-besotted grins, off to an exit amidst much loud discussion of commemorative memorabilia and free t shirts, just over here...
It's quiet, once the door to the hall closes, and they know they can't take a moment, need to get moving, get on top of the situation, if it can be salvaged...
But as they all three re-arrange their clothing, swapping base layers for outer layers, trying to change up the look enough to pass notice, Eliot tries to give them a moment anyway, stepping a little further away, as if trying to get a better vantage on the other doors, give them some warning if additional event staff, or anyone else, approaches.
"It doesn't have to mean anything. Not unless you want it to." Hardison says quietly, and Eliot looks at the wall with determination, as he lets his hair down.
There's a moment of silence, just the rustle of clothing.
"Okay," Parker agrees. "I'll tell you when... when it means something."
She kisses him, Eliot doesn't have to see them to know the sound, and then she walks towards Eliot, with purpose.
Hardison jogs a step to catch up, and they all three make their quick-but-casual way out of a job Eliot's going to try very hard not to think about.
-
Now
-
Eliot knew from jump that, for him, the worst part of Hardison taking off by himself while Parker and Eliot are tied to a New Orleans crew was going to be weeks like that last one.
They try, when they can, even when Hardison is far away, they still try not to actively overlap their jobs with when they know Hardison's going to be in the field.
Maybe they're still on different continents, but sometimes the illusion that he could get there in time is all that gets Eliot to sleep at night.
(that, and the fifty-fifty odds that Parker will turn up partway through night, burrow into Eliot's side under the duvet, and let him feel like he can at least keep one of them safe)
But it happened anyway, now and again. Sometimes, there just wasn't anything to do about it. Hardison had his work, for now, and they had theirs, for now, and sometimes it just had to overlap.
Eliot hadn't been physically sick from nerves in decades, without use of mind-altering substances... but he was the first time it went down that way. Hardison about to be in the field a world away, at risk, and Sophie and Parker about to be in the field, at risk, right in front of him.
He thought something was going to tear in two the night before that first stretch- heart, guts, he didn't know, but something had to be rupturing, the way it hurt.
After he was done throwing up, had rinsed out his mouth, was trying to decide if it was worth trying for more sleep... Parker came padding up out of the darkness, wrapped her arms around his middle from behind, rubs her face against his shoulder a little.
They both looked towards the camera in the hallway (the visible one, with the light Hardison could blink). Sometimes Hardison got notifications from that one, and if Eliot or Parker were up in the middle of their night/his day, he would catch their eye with it, blink the little light and let them know he was there, even when there wasn't time to talk.
But the light hadn't blinked that night, because Hardison was already in the field.
It was just them, holding on.
Eliot wouldn't have said it got easier, the more time that happened, not exactly, but he and Parker did seem to be doing a better job getting through it.
Which led to the week before, where everyone was in the field again... and Hardison missed his check in with them.
It was fine, it was fine, not like he didn't have plenty going on where he was, and not like it was the first time a plan had ever changed... but it was three full days of dead air, still lights, no way to know if he was even still alive, and no way to just leave their job to go and fuckin' find out, either.
And then, finally, two days ago, the light on Breanna's laptop blinked at her in her temporary command center in Kalaheo.
Parker and Eliot didn't cry, or yell, or do anything so conspicuous, when she told them over the comms. They stayed focused, in character, and then just collapsed, exhausted, into a bed that night. They woke after a few hours, feeling hollowed out, to an incoming video call.
I was actually lost, like, really lost, no gps or anything, and I drank some rainwater- I know I know- and then... then, I don't know, man, I guess I hallucinated. A... A bird, a damn bird led me out, until my shit was functional again, and I think I'm okay, no, really, I'm fine, but I'm also not ashamed to say that freaked me right out. Y'all are on Kauai for that Crypto-bro thing, right?
-
Eliot catches sight of something, out of the corner of his eye.
It's almost certainly going to be a chicken, this being the island that it is, even a fancy spot like this up here in Princeville-- Moa do as they like. But Eliot doesn't move, doesn't give himself away. He just holds his position and waits for it to materialize into something, or not.
It's been a long two weeks, and he's tired.
Hardison is coming in, today.
Hardison is coming in, and they're nearly through with the job, and Eliot is So Goddamn Tired.
... it's still there, little patch of lighter gray, right at the corner of that building. Close in size to a chicken, although that would be an unusual color for the local wild population. There was some kind of grey bird that was endemic as well, though, Eliot seemed to remember. It was also the state bird maybe. Started with an N. Some kind of duck? That might be it.
The grey bird dips out of sight, around the building.
-
Eliot's up on the mark's floor, watching as the last of team (mostly amateur, and over-paid. That kind of muscle that comes with fancy certificates but no scars), when it all starts to go sideways.
The last pair of guys is just stepping into the stairwell, when there comes an almighty HONK from behind Eliot.
The men stop and turn, and Eliot remembers that the hawaiian Nēnē is a breed of goddamn goose.
The men draw their guns and Eliot launches himself at them.
A few moments later, he's dragging a pair of unconscious idiots into the closest unoccupied room, and all their hairs stand up on the back of his neck.
He ducks even before he hears the flap of wings, and a grey and black blur sails right past him into the room. Eliot gets about a half-look at it before he slams the door shut on all three of them.
He hurries down the stairs, tapping his com back on.
-the hell, Eliot, if I got back here just in time to watch your fool-ass get shot-
"Uh, not shot. But, hey, we've got a timetable now."
There's a scuffle on the other end of the earpiece, one of them at least, and Breanna chimes in.
What kind of timetable are we talking about?
And then Sophie-
Aw, Eliot, did you break your cover?
Eliot huffs, and takes the stairs even faster
"Just get ready to move. We've gotta hit him now, or-"
And they are at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him.
He rocks two of them, dodges the third, clocks that the main asshole is missing.
Eliot
It's Breanna again
He's headed for that landing pad, and Parker's still in the helicopter. You've got to hold him until she can get out of there, and get that stuff to Harry-
Eliot cusses, hits the last guy in the chest, knocks him down winded, and takes off running.
Mark's not that far ahead of him, just about to turn the corner at the other end of the building, not yet in sight of the helipad. He can maybe close the distance, especially if the guy stumbles.
"Hey-" Eliot yells, and the guy doesn't turn doesn't turn-
There is a tremendous sound of smashing glass and irate bird, and the guy does look at that, looks straight up, just in time to catch a face-full of debris and feathers, as the goose erupts from the big Bay window at the end of the upstairs landing right above him.
Eliot watches the bird glide out, and bank to come back towards the building, and he takes his opportunity, and tackles the mark, too.
-
When the authorities show, Eliot's nowhere to be found, and the mark is covered in red mud and bits of window, hands zip-tied behind him.
Normally, Eliot would be headed for the rendezvous, a nice vantage spot to watch the final proceedings, but he says he'll meet them down at the lower beach, the little one, down at the end of the road, where they stashed that one go-bag.
The rest of the crew find him sitting grumpily on a rock, bag at his feet, struggling too pull his hair out of his face and into a messy tail... covered in red.
Mud not blood.
He's staring a a goose, crouched down a few feet away, and staring right back.
"Uh, Eliot?" Hardison says, trying not to laugh but with plain curiosity writ large across his face. "You gonna introduce us to your friend?"
Eliot scowls, but looks their way.
"It's not my-" The goose bites him, good and hard on his forearm, and then backs away quickly, hissing.
Parker laughs, and the goose rounds on her, neatly separating her and Sophie, and then does the same to Hardison, herding them together.
Eliot wonders if it's possible to get a second goose, maybe since they've been apart so long? And has a brief moment of despair that he's going to have to watch the universe or whatever tell them they're a perfect couple, just as they are all over again...
But the goose doesn't stop once they reach each other, not even as they shout and Hardison- God, he's such a good sight, they're both such a good sight, here, together- Hardison grabs Parker's hand as he stumbles in the sand, and just keeps his feet.
The goose doesn't quit... and then they're right there, in front of Eliot.
Eliot doesn't get it.
The goose comes back around the rock and hisses at Eliot, who hastily stands... and doesn't get it.
"Look, man," Hardison tells the goose, "we're here when he's ready, if he wants it, but I think you're jumping the gun."
The goose hisses like it firmly disagrees.
Eliot tries to step away, and it darts for him.
"I'm sorry," Eliot starts, not sure what exactly he's sorry for.
Hardison waves this off.
"You have nothing to apologies for. Can help when you’re ready, and this damn goose can’t mind its own business to let people get there in there own time, if they want to."
Eliot looks at Parker, Ready to apologize to her, as well, but she looks at Hardison instead.
"Does this mean were not keeping the secret now?" She asks Hardison.
"Well, we certainly aren’t now you've brought Up the secret. Making it no longer secret."
Parker nods, taking that at face value, and turns back to Eliot. She holds out her arms, open, asking for a hug in a way she rarely does.
Eliot fights with himself for a moment, because he has to be misunderstanding this, somehow. they're a touchy bunch, have been for a long time, but there's affectionate and then there's a goddamn goose and he's not sure.
But he's never yet turned down any kind of physical affection Parker has asked for, and he's not about to start now.
He takes a step forward, and another, and she's in his arms.
The goose is quiet, when they pull apart, and he turns to Hardison.
Hardison is smiling so wide, and when he comes in for a quick hug, like they do, he stumbles a little, and Eliot catches him, braces him, their faces inches apart.
And then they're kissing, and Parker whoops in his ear and jumps on him from behind and they all stumble on too few feet and go down with a splash into the sand and foam and detritus, disturbing a pair of chickens which had been scratching near some flotsam.
The goose hisses at the chickens, kicks the dirt, and then waddles off.
Job well done.