Chapter Text
Episode 1 - Ain't No Reason To Get Excited
Introduces Characters:
Wayne - The 'toughest guy in Letterkenny', Katy's older brother, just broke up with Angie.
Angie - not seen on screen, Wayne's "highschool sweetie for five years" who cheated on him and dumped him. Didn't like Wayne fighting. Works at MoDean's
Katy - Wayne's younger sister, Wayne and Katy jointly own/run the farm. Smokes cigarettes
Dary - aka Daryl, keeps dairy cows. Lives near Wayne and Katy (presumably). Loves yoghurt, Wayne wishes he wasn't so "fuckin awkward"
Squirrely Dan - Friends with Wayne, Katy and Dary, possibly works as Wayne and Katy's farmhand? Running joke of "and that's what I appreciate about you Katy". Has 2nd cousins Darrett and Jarrett
Reilly and Jonesy - aka "you nutsacks", hockey bros, always together, both dating/hooking up with Katy. Both chew tobacco. Reilly is the blond one, Jonesy the brunet.
Gail - aka Gailor, Bartender at MoDean's. Smokes cigarettes, regularly propositions Wayne
McMurray - so far, just some dude at MoDean's, mildly annoying.
Alexander - maybe intellectually disabled, maybe just very drunk. Urinates with his pants and underwear around his ankles. Episode 2 describes him as "that slow learnin fella".
Margaret - Dary's gf, slightly crazy, very intense.
Glen - leads (?) the burning bush youth group, very camp
The skids - as a group - the goth nerd druggies. Particularly fond of meth.
The skids - Stewart - has dyed black, 'emo' style hair. The ringleader. Likes big words.
The skids - Devon - dyed black hair, short and gelled back. Second in the hierarchy, likes to growl things.
The skids - Roald - dark curly hair and scraggly stubble/scruff. Is gay. Physically scrawny.
The skids - the other two - don't have any lines, or names.
Angie's new boyfriend (ANB) - no name given, described as "a fuckin dandy"
Introduces Places:
Produce Stand - driveway/entrance to Wayne and Katy's farm, next to their house.
W+K house - Wayne and Katy's house, usually the dining room or the porch.
MoDean's Roadhouse - local pub, usually the bar, but also the men's bathroom and the parking lot.
Church hall? - where the youth group meet.
Introduces slang:
a tilly - a fight
a donnybrook - a fight
pulled your horn - masturbated
darts - cigarettes
Scene list:
Wayne, Katy, Dary, Reilly and Jonesy at the Produce stand - Reilly and Jonesy mock Wayne about Angie cheating on him. Wayne and Dary, mock Reilly and Jonesy's intelligence.
Wayne, Katy, and Dary at W+K house - Dary is eating yoghurt. Dary and Katy say that Wayne needs to "get back on the horse", Dary says to come to the Burning Bush Youth Group to meet girls, Katy introduces Wayne to Tinder. Reilly and Jonesy pick up Katy.
Katy: Why do you hate them (R+J) so much?
Wayne: 'Cause hockey players would grab a monkey by the tit if they could.
R+J: Smokes are for jokes, bud! Put it out before it puts you out, bud! Trash the ash, pal!
Katy: throws lit cigarette into their jeep.
Wayne, Katy, Dary, Squirrelly Dan at the Produce stand - Katy makes good trail mix and that's what Dan appreciates about her. Wayne is barefoot. Dan tells the "fishhook story" where Wayne eggs a truck with a Confederate flag, while only wearing "a pair of cut-off jean shorts", and Dan gets hit in the nipple ring with a Taser. Katy says that it's Thirsty Thursday, and mentions Gus'n'Bru. Dary finds a four leaf clover and says to make a wish, Wayne wishes he wasn't so fuckin awkward.
Wayne, Katy, Dary, Dan and Gail at MoDean's bar - All greet each other, Gus'n'Bru turns out to be whiskey.
Wayne, McMurray and Alexander in MoDean's bathoom at the urinal - McMurray says he's seen Angie with her "new dude. What a fuckin dandy. (...) He went full Bieber eyes". Wayne is "not familiar with his (Bieber's) work". Alexander enters and pulls his pants and underwear all the way down to his ankles to use the urinal. He might be intellectually disabled, or very drunk, or both.
Wayne, Katy, Dary, and Gail at MoDean's bar- Dary "cordially invites" Wayne to the Burning Bush Youth Group "this Sunday", Wayne says no. Katy asks what the appeal is, Dary says he likes singing the songs. Gail propositions Wayne who turns her down and then says he'll "do the youth group".
At the Youth Group - The skids are having an outdoor rave (?) outside the church building. Inside, Wayne and Dary stand near the back. Margaret (Dary's girlfriend) comes over and greets them with "Christ be with you". She then produces a lighter and tells Wayne to hold his finger in the flame for as long as he can. Wayne briefly does. Margaret then says "Now imagine your soul engulfed in that for all eternity". She then sucks on Wayne's 'burned' finger. Dary then mentions that Wayne has been spending time on Tinder. Margaret is horrified and says that it used to be called Grindr and it was "originally invented for gay men to sodomise each other".
Still at the youth group - Glen enters and welcomes everyone. He then singles out his "beautiful girlfriend, Virginia". She is dressed very conservatively, and wears a white Amish style bonnet. Glen says he told God that he would give her everything, except for "vaginal intercourse". Glen is clearly gay. Glen then introduces the band and leaves the stage. The band begins playing, and Wayne grouses to Dary that "and now they tell me its (Tinder) for finding dudes". Wayne goes to have a cigarette. Dary dances by himself, very badly.
Outside the youth group where the skids are - Wayne looks up Grindr and finds out that Margaret was right. He mutters "fuckin Grindr". Stewart overhears and asks what Wayne is doing on Grindr, taking Wayne's phone. Wayne lights his cigarette. It becomes clear that the skids are high on stimulants. Wayne tells them to "take about 20% off the meth intake, boys". Stewart rambles about video games, then says "a bit of quick math tells me this time, however, that you've been so agonised by a woman, you are now seeking the company of men."
Still outside the youth group - The skids then mention/invent various euphemisms for being gay, eg knob jockey. Roald says "I'm gay, but donut puncher". Wayne tells Stewart to "give me my phone". The skids ignore Wayne and continue riffing until Roald says
Roald: *uncomfortably* This is awkward for me you guys.
Stewart: *apologetically* Hey, it's okay
Devon: We know, and we support you
Roald: Alright. Donald Trump of rump!
The skids all giggle, and Wayne reminds Stewart about his phone. Stewart returns it, "but only because you have this weird... menergy... about you." Wayne goes back inside and Roald comments that 'Menergy' is a great name for a spa.
Back inside - Glen is playing didgeridoo on the stage. He finishes, the youth group applauds enthusiastically, and Glen says "Oh stop it! You know I love rippin didge". The audience disperses around the room, and Wayne notices a male youth group member surreptitiously looking at pictures of shirtless muscular men on his phone. Wayne looks around and realises all the other men are looking surreptitiously at their phones too. Margaret suggests getting milkshakes. Glen says he's surprised to see Wayne at the youth group.
At MoDean's - Wayne, Dary and Margaret enter and sit at the bar. Stewart is sitting with the skids at a regular table, and Reilly and Jonesy are sitting together at a tall/standing table. Stewart comments on Wayne entering with Margaret, loudly asking
Stewart: *to Wayne* Didn't we just catch you cruising Grindr?
Reilly and Jonesy overhear and express interest in this gossip.
It is then established that Reilly and Jonesy, and Stewart/the skids don't like each other.
Reilly then redirects the conversation/argument to the possibility that Wayne is "looking for love over the rainbow now".
Stewart: *to Reilly* I hate you, but can confirm deer season's over. He's huntin bear now!
Reilly: *to Stewart* I fuckin hate you too, however, fuckin hate him *pointing at Wayne* more. And I just found out he's ambidextrous!"
Reilly probably means bisexual. Their conversation is being held loudly enough for the other patrons to hear. Reilly and Stewart's conversation is derailed by the entry of Angie's new boyfriend. He's wearing shoes without socks, cuffed jeans, a waistcoat, a blazer with pocket square, a scarf tucked into the waistcoat, and a fedora. The scarf and pocket are matching/coordinating. McMurray's description of "what a fuckin dandy" seems accurate. He walks through the bar, and goes offscreen. Reilly returns to mocking Wayne, with the line "Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what a series of unfortunate events you fuckin been through, you ugly fuck." Reilly and Jonesy, and Stewart start bickering again.
Wayne goes outside to have a cigarette. He sees Katy in the parking lot, sitting in her/Wayne's/their(?) truck. She is drinking from a bottle of Gus'n'Bru. Wayne walks over to Katy, who implies that Reilly is only willing to mock Wayne because Wayne doesn't fight anymore. She reminds Wayne of what he used to be like, including breaking a guy's nose for calling Katy a slut, and says she misses that Wayne. Wayne says it's for the better. Alexander stumbles outside, clearly drunk, and begins pissing in the pile of garbage bags. As before, he has pulled his pants and underwear down to his ankles. Angie's new boyfriend (ANB) comes outside and sees Alexander. He smiles meanly, and starts filming Alexander. Still filming, he loudly says "This is Sparta!" and pushes his foot into Alexander's buttocks, tipping him into the pile of garbage bags. Angie's new boyfriend then laughs. He hasn't noticed Wayne and Katy watching, and is facing away from the parking lot. Wayne marches over and cuffs ANB over the head, knocking off his fedora.
ANB: Ow, fuck! What the hell are you doing?
Wayne: I'd ask you the same thing, you fuckin tit!
ANB: I'm taping an idiot. I'm not sneaking up on dudes and starting fights!
Wayne: I'm not fighting you, I'm smacking you.
ANB: Oh, that's right. You don't fight anymore, do you? I figured I'd have one on deck for sure after I stole your girl.
Wayne: *clearly angry, but doesn't say anything or move*
ANB: Nothing, eh? No move? She must have trained you well. So what's it gonna take to get you back on the horse there champ? Do I go inside and spread Angie right out on the bar when she gets here?
Wayne: *lip twitches in a snarl but doesn't otherwise move or say anything*
ANB: I've fucked your girl more times that you've had a hot meal. Maybe your sister wants to join us. It's Katy, right? Shit, why don't I go over there and ask her myself?
ANB begins to walk past Wayne/toward Katy. Wayne stops him, grabbing him by the crotch with one hand. Wayne then grabs his shoulder with the other hand, and headbutts ANB. ANB stumbles backward to the ground, holding his nose. Katy jogs over from the car with her nearly empty bottle and stands next to Wayne. She says "Pull your pants up, Alexander" and has a swig of Gus'n'Bru. Offering the bottle to Wayne, she comments "You've come this far." Wayne drinks the last mouthful and throws the now empty bottle aside, shattering it. Wayne punches ANB in the face multiple times and then throws ANB into the pile of garbage bags. Alexander stands up just before ANB is thrown into the garbage. Wayne's shirt is torn at the back armscye. Dary, Reilly and Jonesy, and the skids stumble outside and see the immediate aftermath of the 'fight', with ANB in the garbage, and Wayne standing over him. Wayne angrily quips "Welcome to fuckin Letterkenny" and stalks off toward the truck. The skids scurry back inside, Reilly and Jonesy look nervous, and Dary and Katy follow Wayne to the truck.
Wayne and Dary are sitting at the produce stand. Reilly and Jonesy drop off Katy. Katy walks back into the house, saying "Good to have you back, big brother". Reilly and Jonesy are now noticeably intimidated by Wayne. They watch him carefully as Katy walks back to the house and greets Wayne and Dary. Wayne watches them, stony-faced. After Katy exits, Jonesy then tentatively acknowledges Wayne by raising his hand in a small wave while Reilly starts the jeep. Reilly and Jonesy both call out polite farewells to Wayne as they reverse out. Wayne gives them a smug fake smile (lips closed, eyes squeezed shut) as they leave.
End episode.