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Gai woke up with the sunlight. It was a habit of his, formed after many years of dedicated taijutsu training, hard to break even when he’d stayed up late the night before.
Of course, most mornings he wasn’t plastered between a naked Kakashi and the mattress. But last night had been a special night. Gai and Kakashi had finally taken the last step in their relationship—they’d had sex, full penetration, losing their virginities to each other like fated lovers (or at least fated Rivals).
The very memory of it made Gai’s heart (and his eyes) overflow with emotion.
Kakashi must have caught on, because his grey head nuzzled into Gai’s chest. It was almost cute, but then he broke the spell by muttering, “Go back to sleep.”
Sleep was not possible! Gai’s youthful spirit was inflamed! There was no way he would be able to sleep without letting his feelings out, and making sure Kakashi knew how grateful he was that they had taken this Meaningful and Intimate step in their relationship. He gripped Kakashi’s hair, stroking the fuzzy grey mass affectionately. “My darling rival, you are foremost in my heart! Thank you for sharing the innocence of your body with me in sexual intercourse! I will never forget the tender way we took each other’s virginities—”
“Huh?” Kakashi’s grey right eye blinked at him, now fully awake, and his scarred left eye, though closed, drooped doubtfully. “What are you talking about? We didn’t have sex.”
Gai thought so hard he strained his eyebrows. No, he was still pretty sure that he and Kakashi had gone all the way last night. After all, he still had the tacky remains of lube on his thighs, and he was pretty sure there was a used condom on the floor, right next to his jumpsuit. And neither he nor Kakashi had been under the influence of any substances, as far as he knew. “Kakashi, what are you talking about? We penetrated each other last night!”
Kakashi frowned. “Sodomy? That’s not sex,” he huffed. “First of all, you never showed me your tentacle. And there was absolutely no oviposition involved. We didn’t even make an egg!”
Gai froze. This was most unlike his hip and cool rival. Kakashi was always ahead of Gai: in rank, in jutsu, hell, he was even leading in their challenges, 13-12. How had Gai ended up so far in front of him in this? “Kakashi, I showed you my penis,” he said, enunciating his words so as not to be understood, “where do you think the tentacle comes from?”
Kakashi rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, Gai. I’m still a virgin.”
Gai stuttered, running over the events of the previous night in his mind just to be sure. No, he was pretty certain he had not been hallucinating: he and Kakashi had crossed the final physical boundary last night. They had made love, penetrating each other anally, becoming as close as it was possible for two men to be!
Oblivious to Gai’s existential crisis, Kakashi stretched exhibitionistically, letting the blankets fall to reveal the fact that he was still naked. “Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’m still loose from last nigh. Why don’t you sodomize me with your penis again?” He wriggled lasciviously and licked his lips. “And then, if I’m good, you’ll do it with your tentacle next time?”
Kakashi moved to slide into Gai’s lap. Out of habit, Gai accepted the caress, but after the first few purposeful strokes to his cock, he pushed Kakashi unceremoniously against the headboard, desperate to put some physical distance between himself and his boyfriend before he got too carried away by the sensations to address the obvious problem.
“Wait, no, Kakashi, we can’t do this,” Gai moaned. He pushed Kakashi off of him regretfully; Kakashi actually pouted back at him and opened his legs lasciviously.
“Why not? We already did it. Twice,” Kakashi said.
Gai pulled at his hair. “I don’t think you can consent to sex if you don’t even know what sex is, Kakashi.”
“I’m not consenting to sex, I’m consenting to be sodomized with your penis! Keep your tentacle and your ovipositor to yourself,” Kakashi huffed.
“Rival, I don’t have a tentacle or an ovipositor,” Gai protested. “I’m a human person. I have a human penis.”
“Oh, have you not gone through puberty yet?” Kakashi wondered aloud. “That’s OK, I’m not ready to carry your eggs right now. I can wait a few years while you mature.”
Gai’s head was swimming, dizzy with confusion. Tentacles? Eggs? What did any of this have to do with the physical expression of romantic love and affection between men? “Kakashi, where did you learn about sex?”
“Well, my dad gave me the Talk when I was like, 13. And I’ve done a lot of independent study,” Kakashi said, making a lewd motion with his hand. “I read a lot, you know.”
Gai was well aware of his rival’s passion for literature, but he’d never paid much attention to Kakashi’s reading material. Reaching down to the crumpled pile of clothing on the floor, he tossed Kakashi’s pants and underwear onto the bed. “Get dressed. You’re going to show me exactly what you’ve been reading.”
“I don’t know why you’re so interested in books all of a sudden,” Kakashi grumbled, but he did get dressed, although he made a lurid show of putting his still half-erect dick back into his pants, which Gai ignored.
He couldn’t get distracted by a horny Kakashi now. It would go against all his morals to have sex with someone who didn’t even know what sex was, although as long as you didn’t call it sex, Kakashi seemed willing enough to put various appendages in various orifices. It was all very confusing, and Gai forced himself out of bed and step into a fresh jumpsuit.
Gai knew that his Rival was an avid reader, but it seemed puberty had done some weird things to Kakashi’s taste in literature.
His bookshelves were full of titles such as Mating Mothman, Werewolf Wankers: Knot Tonight, and Fisherman’s Wife: Revenge from the Deep.
“Where did you get all this stuff?” he asked, eyes wide.
“Oh, I got Fisherman’s Wife from my dad.,” Kakashi said nonchalantly. “I’ve always learned best from reading, so after he gave me the Talk, he figured I should have a couple of instruction manuals. It's a classic.”
“Where did the rest of these come from?”
Kakashi blushed. “The alley behind the sex shop. They get rid of this stuff by the box.”
Hmm. Gai wondered why. He flipped through Mating Mothman and moved on to Squid Sex Slaves. It only took a few minutes of reading before he understood why his Rival was so confused about what had happened last night. “Kakashi,” Gai explained patiently, “none of these books have anything to do with how Earth people have normal human sex.”
“Plenty of human people have sex in those books,” Kakashi said. “And most of them take place on Earth. Except for the ones with the six-tentacled aliens. Those happen on the planet Urdivus 7.”
“Yeah, ok, but the problem is that the human people in these books aren’t having sex with other human people,” Gai said patiently. “Like this one: the main character is human, but she has sex with a squid.”
“Squid have tentacles. And they lay eggs,” Kakashi pointed out.
Gai hung his head. “Kakashi. Your mom might be an alien who lives in an alternate dimension—”
“Six alternate dimensions,” Kakashi corrected—
“But you’re half human. At least, you have a human body, not just some abstract interdimensional alien form. And you’re having sex with me, and I’m also a human person. Human people have sex with their penises,” Gai tried to explain.
“With their penises? No, that can’t be right,” Kakashi said. “That goes against everything I’ve ever read. And everything my father told me.” He eyed Gai suspiciously. “Are you saying my father lied to me about sex?”
Gai was sweating. “Uh, no,” he stammered, “I think maybe your mom and dad had a very special relationship. With Kaguya being an interdimensional alien and all of that.” He wiped his sweaty hands on his thighs, trying to collect his thoughts and figure out a way to phrase this without alarming his boyfriend. “But in this dimension, in these bodies, maybe things are a little different.”
“What are you talking about? My dad already gave me the talk.” Kakashi scratched his head. “You use your tentacle to lay an egg in me, an egg that will hatch nine months later. And you’re only supposed to do it during the eclipse. If you try any other time, the eggs are infertile, and just get reabsorbed into my body.”
Kakashi remembered the day clearly. Sakumo had taken out all the old photo albums, proudly showing Kakashi pictures of himself as an egg. Because he’d needed to be incubated for nine months, Sakumo had devised a sort of egg-carrier that he’d strapped to his chest to keep the developing fetus warm.
The pictures had been heartwarming. Sakumo and Kaguya looked so proud of themselves and their egg. They had really been in love, and Sakumo had never really gotten over it when Kaguya had to return to the sixth dimension. Seeing the proof of their love over the short time that their dimensions had overlapped, Kakashi could understand why.
Still, he couldn’t quite understand why Gai was getting so worked up about his choice of reading material. It was only normal for a sixteen year old to have wank books, and maybe Kakashi preferred prose to pictures, but that wasn’t that weird. Plenty of people did; there was a market for dirty books, after all. Why else would there be so many in the dumpster behind the porn shop?
Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. Maybe Gai was confused about how sex was supposed to work. After all, he hadn’t known that he was supposed to grow a tentacle when he reached sexual maturityHe’d assumed Gai had already had the Talk with Dai. And Dai must have had some experience—after all, he’d hatched his own son, of course.
“You know, if you’re not sure where to find your tentacle, this one is an excellent resource,” Kakashi said, reaching for Octopus Orgy: Revenge from the Deep Volume II. It had a whole subplot devoted to breeding, and thus was focused on the mechanics of sexual reproduction more than his other novels. Surely it would clear a few things up for Gai.
Gai swatted the book out of his hands, which was just rude. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to my boyfriend,” he grumbled, “but we need to get you some human pornography.”
A quick henge and a few strategically-placed wrinkles later, Kakashi and Gai headed into the porn shop. The clerk took sight of their crow’s feet and grey hair, and waved them in, not looking up from his copy of Kinky Kunoichi .
There was a whole display devoted to newest edition of Mating Mothman, which Kakashi had been anxious to check out. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to do more than skim the first few pages before Gai pulled the book out of his hands, much to his chagrin.
“You’ve been reading too many books from the supernatural section,” Gai said, ignoring Kakashi’s masked pout. “Look, let’s see if we can find some normal human pornography for you to read.”
Grudgingly, Kakashi allowed his boyfriend to drag him through the aisles. As they passed deeper into the bowels of the pervy shop, the merchandise began to change from magazines and posters to lingerie and lubricant. Finally, he and Gai ended up in a dead end, in front of a display of silicon tentacles in all imaginable colors, shapes, and sizes.
Kakashi was immediately captivated. Sure, he’d read about tentacles—read about them a lot. But it was something completely different to see a tentacle up close and in real life, and a tendril of arousal stirred in his belly at the lurid display.
One in particular caught his fancy: a thick, knotted pink tentacle with large suckers on the underside. Never one for shame about sexual matters, Kakashi grasped the tentacle by the base and waved it towards his boyfriend. “Gai, check this out.”
At the sight of Kakashi holding the massive pink tentacle, Gai turned red. His henge started to flicker a bit—Gai had never been particularly gifted at ninjutsu, and it was hard for him to hold his transformations when he was experiencing strong emotions. And one thing was for sure—Gai was strongly embarrassed.
“Kakashi, put that down!” Gai hissed.
Kakashi, on the other hand, inspected the tentacle closer. The tip of the tentacle had a large, soft slit, and Kakashi squinted to get a closer look at the tag. “Hmm. Says here that this dildo can also be used to pass eggs into your mate.”
Gai’s blush began threatening to overwhelm his transformation again. He really was so easily flustered when Kakashi talked about the more intimate sexual acts, which only made Kakashi want to keep teasing him. “There’s more like this, you know...”
That was too much for Gai. With a pop, his henge dropped, his underage self looking conspicuous among the dildos.
Unfortunately, the sound of the jutsu’s release seemed to draw the attention of the clerk. He looked up from his porn magazine accusingly. “Hey, you! Teenager! Out of my store!” Then he seemed to notice Kakashi, who was still wearing his middle-aged henge. “Hey, pervert! What are you doing bringing a teenager into my store?”
Quickly, Kakashi dismissed the henge, reverting to his teenage self. “Who are you calling pervert, pervert! I’m a teenager too, not some kind of sex criminal.”
The beleaguered clerk hung his head. “Teenagers? Again?” He let out a long-suffering sigh. Don’t I leave enough porn in the alley to keep you teenagers from trying to sneak into my store? Let an honest pervert make a living.” The clerk crossed his arms and stared Gai and Kakashi down.
Kakashi, trying to making the best of the situation, wriggled the tentacle again. “Can I buy this?”
The clerk’s need to take action in order to keep his job seemed to finally outweigh his laziness. He moved from behind the desk with a surprising spryness for a man his age to reveal a pair of nunchaku in his hands, which he gave a practiced twirl.
A trained shinobi, Kakashi knew when someone meant business. He dropped the tentacle to grab Gai around the waist and run back outside before the irate porn store clerk could get any closer.
Truthfully, after being kicked out of the porn store, Kakashi had more questions than ever. If human people didn’t have sex with tentacles and ovipositors, why had there been so many dildos shaped like tentacles that laid eggs? Surely even the human people of Konoha knew how to have sex properly, which made Gai’s insistence that human people used their penises to penetrate each other seem even less believable.
“Did you see the size of that tentacle dildo?” Kakashi asked absentmindedly. “Do you think when yours comes in, it will be the same size? Or bigger?”
“Argh! I give up! We are going to have to ask my dad for advice,” Gai said, dragging Kakashi towards his house.
Might Dai was home, setting the table for dinner when his son arrived, his boyfriend in tow.
He should have known that something was up when Gai and Kakashi did not head directly for the hotpot simmering on the stove. As teens growing into young, strong men, they certainly had hearty appetites! But not even the fragrant broth of leeks and beef seemed to distract the two from whatever was wearing on their minds.
Gai spoke first. “Dad, Kakashi and I need to talk to you.”
“Yes, my beloved son, what is dampening the ardor of your usual burning spirit?”
“Well, Dad, my boyfriend... has some sexual hangups, because Sakumo told him—”
Dai had known that his son was attracted to men ever since the boy had been a toddler. Dai loved and accepted Gai, even his sexuality, which was still considered taboo among most of the citizens of fire country. Dai didn’t think Sakumo would do it on purpose, but men of their generation had a lot to unlearn...
Dai squared up preemptively. “Did Sakumo say something homophobic? I will show him the error of his intolerance!”
His son waved a hand, which Dai took as a sign to calm down. He dropped his stance, standing with a more relaxed posture, when Kakashi jumped in to defend his father. “No way, my dad would never be homophobic! The real problem is that your dad left out an important part when he told you about sex!”
Dai gasped. How could Kakashi accuse him of such a thing? Dai was an honest man, and what more, he knew all about different types of human erotic expression, which he had eagerly and openly shared with his son when it was appropriate. He gathered Gai into a protective hug. “Now, now, Kakashi, I resent the allegation! I have told Gai everything a man must know about how to safely explore his youthful passions!”
The hotpot burbled in the background, simmering aggressively. Gai frowned, breaking out of Dai’s hold. “That’s the thing, Dad, I tried! Every time I explain it, Kakashi doubles down, insisting that anal penetration is not sex and that we’re still virgins!”
“That’s what I keep telling you!” Kakashi sighed emphatically.
Uh-oh. This wasn’t good. Dai had been careful to teach his son about consent—there was nothing more joyful and full of youthful spirit than proper consent during sexual contact! Dai looked down at his son, who looked both embarrassed and agonized by his dilemma. “Gai, my son, I must emphasize the importance of not taking consent for granted simply because you are in a long-term relationship—”
“It’s not like that, Dad! We talked it over beforehand, what we were going to do, and we did check-ins! He fully consents to penetrating and being penetrated anally.”
Kakashi shrugged. “What’s the big deal about the sodomy? That’s like, foreplay.”
Gai shot his father a pained look. “As you can see, Kakashi seems perfectly fine with intercourse, as long as we don’t call it that.”
Kakashi rolled his eyes. “Excuse me, I know what sex is, and it isn’t that . I keep telling you, you’re supposed to use your tentacle to lay an egg inside me—”
“Darling, I know I asked you this before, but where do you think I am hiding my tentacle?”
Well. It seemed Gai had not been lying about Sakumo having put some unusual ideas into his son’s head about sexual intimacy.
“Look, it’s OK if you’re a late bloomer. I’m not ready for sexual intercourse anyway, but why can’t we sodomize each other again in the meantime?” Kakashi pouted.
“Dad!” Gai pounded his fist on the table. “I can’t have sex with my boyfriend if he doesn’t even know what sex between two human people is!”
Dai considered. He had long known about Kakashi’s... unusual... parentage—the Hatake clan was rumored to have originated in a land so far away, it might as well have been a distant planet... or a different dimension. And Sakumo did seem to have some... unique... ideas on how the universe worked, which Dai had merely attributed to the fact that things were different in the sixth dimension, or wherever Sakumo Hatake had come from.
Things like that didn’t matter to Dai—he never judged anyone based on their country—or dimension—of origin, a rare quality in a shinobi, who were trained to see foreign nin as enemies by default. That said, whatever Kakashi’s origins, he now resided in the third dimension here on Earth, and as an Earth teenager, Kakashi needed to know how Earth people had sex so that he could properly consent.
“Kakashi, my boy, I assume you have seen Earth pornography?”
Kakashi rolled his eyes. “Yeah, loads of it.”
“Except all of your porn involves tentacles and laying eggs too,” Gai explained.
“Yours doesn’t?” Kakashi seemed to be truly confused.
Dai bit his thumbnail. What sorts of ideas had Sakumo put into his son’s head—and what kinds of ideas was Kakashi putting into Gai’s? This was certainly a delicate situation, calling for exceptional action. This was no time for shame about his masculine passions, which occasionally needed to be indulged! “Kakashi, my young son, underneath my mattress you will find the first three volumes of Jiraiya-sannin’s esteemed Icha Icha erotic masterpiece, as well as several visual references—”
“Dai-sama, thank you, but I don’t think I can accept you secondhand pornography—”
Dai took Kakashi’s hand, tears welling in his eyes. Youthful love needed to be nurtured before it could sprout into a healthy, mature sexual expression! “You must, Kakashi. I bequeath it to you! Accept this as legacy and do not deny this old man his happiness!”
“At least I’ve peeked at enough of my dad’s porn to know that there are no tentacles involved,” Gai grumbled.
Dai couldn’t even be mad at his son for peeking at his pornography. Porn was nothing to be ashamed of! And Dai’s porn would proud two young men in the first bloom of lust negotiate their sexual needs and expectations.
The gaps in Kakashi’s sexual education thus addressed, Dai straightened. There was only one thing to do next: he was going to have to go over to the Hatake homestead and talk to Sakumo himself, man-to-man, dad-to-dad, about how Kakashi had acquired his mistaken concept of how Earth people had sex.
Sakumo was alone, listening to the radio and sharpening a pile of kunai in the small living room at the Hatake residence, when Might Dai knocked. The house was not very large, but the rooms seemed bigger than they actually were, because Sakumo and his son tended towards minimalism, and the soft melody echoed off the mostly-bare walls.
Dai was quite agitated, unable to sit still and explain his concern in complete sentences. His restlessness was an abrupt contrast to the music, and Sakumo stood to turn off the radio, turning his attention fully to his friend as he attempted to parse what Dai was saying.
“So you see, my dear friend, why I would be worried! Kakashi needs guidance at this time in his young life, when impulses are strong and confusing. Your family origins no doubt make things more difficult!”
“Dai-san, please, be direct. What has Kakashi done now?” Sakumo could handle the truth. Kakashi had often been too blunt—or too sarcastic—for his own good growing up, and Sakumo had had to apologize on his son’s behalf more than once.
“It is not what your son has done, esteemed Sakumo-san! No, I am merely concerned about young Kakashi’s... misconceptions... regarding human sexual relations,” Dai admitted.
Sakumo scratched his chin thoughtfully. Granted, he did not have the most sexual experience, but he had been truthful with his son, telling Kakashi everything he knew during their Talk four years ago. “Has he done something to hurt Gai?”
Dai shook his head, quick to deny the accusation. “Nothing of the sort! Kakashi is a respectful lad, you have done well to teach him in that respect, Sakumo-san. I am merely suggesting that most human people do not have sex with a tentacle. Or lay eggs.”
Sakumo returned to his seat on the couch, considering this stunning information. While he a native Earth person, he had lost his virginity to an alien from the sixth dimension. Kaguya was six thousand years old, so he had simply deferred to her greater age and experience. Perhaps he had been naive, but he had assumed that all sexual relations between hominids would follow the same trajectory.
Well, Sakumo was enough of a man to admit when he had been wrong. He took a deep breath. “Actually I appreciate you telling me this. I’ve never had sex with a human. Kaguya was my one true love, but trans-dimensional relationships can be difficult.”
Dai took a seat on the edge of the futon. “My son is 100% Earth person, and regardless of Kakashi’s provenance, he lives on Earth, here in the third dimension,” Dai explained. “I think Kakashi just need a little guidance on how sex works between two Earth people.”
“Well,” Sakumo agreed, “I did lose my virginity to an alien in the sixth dimension.” From what he had gleaned so far about how Earth people did things, it seemed quite different from his own torrid affair with Kaguya. He wanted to be able to help his son, but he was out of his depth. Except...
Suddenly Sakumo’s face lit up. “You’re an Earth person, Dai! You could give Kakashi the Talk.”
“No, I could never! It is a man’s duty as a father to guide his own son into the full bloom of his manhood!” Dai’s fist pumped in the air.
“How can I teach my son about how Earth people have sex if I’ve never had sex with an Earth person?” Sakumo asked, truly concerned.
“I know of a great series of books, penned by Jiraiya-sannin himself—” Dai began, but he was cut off by Sakumo saying, “Ah, my son is the book learner, I admit. I do better with practical experience.”
Practical experience. Dai could provide that. He stood up, reaching for the zipper of his green jumpsuit. He would need to start with a lesson on human anatomy, and who better to serve as a instructor than someone like Dai, who was a master of his own body and had the muscles (and the erectile stamina) to show for it?
Dai stroked his moustache, sizing Sakumo up. The man appeared nervous but curious, quite eagerly letting his gaze linger on the curl of hair visible at the neck of Dai’s jumpsuit, right at the valley of his pectorals, and Dai grabbed his pale, long-fingered hand in his own, holding them both over his chest.
Sakumo’s pupils dilated. “I always thought it was interesting how hairy you are. Not many Earth people can grow a moustache like yours.”
“You’ll like it even better once I kiss you with it,” Dai teased.
Sakumo smiled. “I suppose we’ll find out.”
Dai rubbed his moustache on Sakumo’s neck, feeling him shiver from the stimulation. He intended to do exactly that.
The next morning, Sakumo and Dai were eating and drinking tea in the Hatake household kitchen when a bedraggled Kakashi and Gai tumbled through the door. They took one look at their fathers, both wearing little more than haphazardly-tied robes, and attempted to sneak back out, but Sakumo was too quick.
He advanced on his son with all the training of his years as an elite shinobi, backing his son into an awkward angle next to the refrigerator. Kakashi looked positively trapped, but no matter how imploringly he looked to Gai to save him, his boyfriend could only hand back, unwilling to risk interrupting and facing Sakumo’s wrath.
“Kakashi,” Sakumo blushed, his long white hair equally as bedraggled as his son’s, “I was wrong about how sex happens on Earth. I’m sorry I misled you, son.”
His son shrugged and ran a hand through his messy hair, which only made it fluffier. “It’s OK, Dad. I figured it out.” He extricated a book from his pocket, flashing the lurid cover. “I read all three volumes of Icha Icha last night. Did you know that they make porn between two human people? It’s highly informative.”
Sakumo sighed. He was going to have to have a discussion with his son about his choice in reading material again. Honestly, he should have expected it when the precocious Kakashi taught himself how to read his mother’s romance novels at the age of five. Sakumo had only learned his son knew how to read when he’d asked him what an orgasm was, and ever since then, try as he might, he had never been able to restrict his son’s choice in books.
Then again, maybe he could let this one go. After all, he had been the one to tell Kakashi that sex involved tentacles and laying eggs in the first place. Sakumo cleared his throat. “I have to be sure, son, you do consent to having Earth sex with your human boyfriend—”
“Yes! I consent to the penis stuff. Actually, the whole laying eggs thing seemed a little intense. I’m not ready for that yet, but the sodomy is pretty enjoyable.” Kakashi interrupted. turning red above his mask. “And anyway, did you know they make tentacle dildos that lay eggs? I saw it at the sex shop where we tried to buy pornography before Dai gave me Icha Icha. Just because Gai wasn’t born with a tentacle doesn’t mean we can’t take our relationship to the next level, just like you and Mom.”
Sakumo smiled. That was his boy, always so advanced for his age. Even when Sakumo had steered him wrong, Kakashi had figured it out.
And thanks to Dai, so had Sakumo. Who could have known that having sex with a human person in the 3rd dimension could be so different from alien sex in the 6th dimension! Surely Sakumo had had no idea.
He shared a dreamy glance with Dai. He was glad to have cleared that up, all things considered. In fact, he wouldn’t be opposed to another tutorial. Maybe this time he could show Dai what he had learned...
“Uh-oh,” Kakashi interrupted, “are you two giving each other bedroom eyes?”
Sakumo fluttered his lashes at Dai and ignored his son. He’d already had to sit through months of unfulfilled sexual tension as Kakashi and his best friend slowly rearranged the parameters of their relationship. Kakashi could suffer through a bit of discomfort as Sakumo and Dai did the same.
“Kakashi,” Gai pointed out, “you are the one who brought up the tentacle dildo.”
“I like knowing the option is there, when we’re ready to take that step,” Kakashi said seriously.
“Intimacy takes many forms,” Dai interrupted before the conversation could become any more explicit. “Now let us restore our bodily strength and masculine essence together over a hearty meal!”
Gai sobbed. Dai, his heart moved by his son’s youthful emotions, sobbed too. Kakashi and Sakumo merely looked at each other, rolling their eyes as if to say, See what I have to put up with?
Sakumo may have been erroneous in his understanding of how two Earth people had sex together, but he did know a little something about love. And he’d taught his son that sometimes love meant putting up with your partner’s little quirks, whether those quirks were becoming easily moved to tears—or living in the sixth dimension.
Yes, he thought as he watched Kakashi comfort his crying boyfriend, he’d taught his son well. Now it was time for Sakumo to take an example from Kakashi and comfort his own sobbing partner. He’d spent so long pining after his six-dimensional extraterrestrial ex that he had almost forgotten how to live as a third-dimensional human from the planet Earth, but between his son and Might Dai, Sakumo expected that he would figure it out.