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It's not that surprising, right? So why does everyone always look shocked once they find out?
"I thought you’d be a dog person dude-- Don't get me wrong, cats are still definitely manly!"
"Wwwwwhhaaatttt? Blasty, you have a cat?!!"
"Your cat looks purr-fect-- please don't kill me, I'm sorry for the bad pun! I'm sorry!"
"Ah, a cat. I despise cats from the deepest pits of my dark and dreary soul. They attack birds, my k i n d."
"I think the cat would look very good in a sparkly cape, oui?"
"Oh-Oh, you g-got a new cat K-Kacchan?"
"Are you taking good care of it? As the owner, it is your responsibility to make sure your cat is in good health!!!"
Yes, Bakugou Katsuki owns a cat.
Bakugou found her on the streets after school, during the walk home from the bullet train, before Heights Alliance was built. She followed him to his house and invited herself in when Bakugou opened the door with no intention of letting the stray inside. After Bakugou yelled at her for a while and the cat hissed at him, they got along swimmingly.
"She's all black though? What about superstitions?"
If a black cat crosses your path you will be met with misfortune, so they say.
"Huuuhh? Screw superstitions!"
It makes sense though. Bakugou is just the kind of person to not give a damn about superstition.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
"What's her name?" Uraraka asks, after gushing over his cat. As she should. Some other extras from their class also ask for his cat's name in succession.
"Queen Explosion Murder," Bakugou grunts, face completely serious.
The class bursts out laughing, and many lives are lost.
The screams of Class 1-A are drowned out by the screeching of the fire alarm, which is set off by the amount of explosions Bakugou detonates in the room, and the whole common room sprinkler system activates. UA is thorough, alright: everything gets progressively soggier by the second, and the whole class erupts into another round of screams as everything is soaked. They run outside in collective panic.
Bakugou stalks after them slowly, refusing to run away from the water like a loser. A little liquid never killed anyone.
Mineta asks, water bouncing off the balls on his head, "Why a cat though?"
With water similarly dripping down his face, Bakugou glares daggers at the Grape. "'Cuz can. Fuck off."
"Yeah, but, I like dogs bet--"
"Well I dont give a flying fuck about dogs, because Queen Explosion Murder is obviously superior," he says, killing Mineta with an explosion to the face, even in spite of the water dousing his explosions. Only an idiot would dare to say dogs are better than Bakugo's precious baby.
He had it long coming anyways. Grape ass bitch.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Koda, Mina, Kirishima-- some of the few to survive the Class 1-A purge-- and Bakugou all sit in the restored dorm common room. Aizawa had walked in to find the dead bodies and drenched furniture, and promptly decided he did not care enough to deal with whatever happened there. He called some cleaners and peaced out.
"Baku-bro I wanna see your caaaaat!" Mina whines.
"Only if she deems you worthy." Bakugou stares right into her eyes.
"HAHA-- Bakugou." Mina inhales. "You're joking right? Bakugou?"
"Huuuuh? Did I fucking stutter?"
"Koda... Bakugou loves his cat more than us..." Kirishima sobs.
Well, his cat is cute... Koda seems to communicate with body language alone.
"Koda, you're taking his side?"
"..." Koda looks sheepish.
"See! At least someone has some damn sense here!" Bakugou yells.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Koda is sitting in his dorm room, at his low round table in the middle of the floor, petting his bunny resting in his lap. The cool night breeze from his partially open sliding door blows his curtains slightly, and he lightly dozes off to the rhythmic sound of fabric shifting, the pleasant chill of the wind on his skin.
Somewhat groggy, Koda thinks it's just his mind playing tricks on him when his sliding door opens wider, and the curtains seem to slide minutely more open.
But then it happens again, and his bunny sitting in his lap perks up, alert. With that, so does Koda.
Suddenly, the door slams open all the way, curtains shoved to the side with no regard, wind blowing freely though his dorm room and sending the temperature plummeting.
Silhouetted by the moonlight, a demon with glowing red eyes stands in his room. This is it. This is the end for Koda. He's going to die here. His mouth opens in a silent scream, horror etched into every line of his face.
"You," the Demon speaks, voice low and bone-chilling, deeply wrong and… kind of familiar? "Join me," Bakugou commands.
Oh.
…It's just Bakugou.
Koda faints from relief.
When he comes to, Bakugou is sitting opposite of him. He quickly notices Koda's consciousness, so he gets to explaining about the Empire.
Ever since that day Koda has been hailed as Head of Communications for Queen Explosion Murder’s Empire™. Through the use of his Quirk, he has established a vast line of connection with many other cats around the world, which all communicate to him what is going on in the animal world, and if any dogs-- their greatest rival-- are taking over in popularity.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
After the mass funeral of the classmates Bakugou killed before the second linebreak of this fic, Shinsou approaches him, looking as dead as ever.
"What do you want?" Bakugou asks, immediately annoyed at being in the presence of an extra.
"Kaminari told me you have a cat."
"Yeah? What of it? Here to make fun of me like a loser?" Bakugou sneers.
"Can I see her?" He asks quietly.
"What." Bakugou blinks.
Shinsou looks at him blandly, like a dead fish. "Don't make me ask again."
Bakugou begrudgingly pulls out his phone and shows Shinsou pictures of Queen Explosion Murder, and Shinsou gushes over her the entire time. Bakugou thinks it's disgusting to see someone so dead inside smiling and looking generally very happy while looking at cat pictures.
"Give me your phone number," Bakugou says after a while.
Shinsou narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Why?"
"How else am I going to send you pictures of Queen Explosion Murder?"
"That's her name?"
"Got a problem?"
"It's strangely fitting." Shinsou smiles faintly, entering his number into Bakugou's phone.
(“Also, I’ll contact you about getting a position in Queen Explosion Murder’s Empire™.”)
(“Understood.” Shinsou nods seriously.)
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
"What is it, Old Hag?"
"Tch, how disrespectful." Mitsuki says dramatically. "Don't call me that."
"Yeah, sure, Old Hag. What do you need?"
"Are you feeding The Queen?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be, Old Hag?"
"Just checking."
"You just want to find an excuse to see her, Old Hag." Bakugou accuses.
"Maybe."
“Is The Queen’s Empire™ growing back at home as well, Old Hag?"
“Of course it is. I’m competent and know how to run things, unlike some people, brat.”
Bakugou rolls his eyes and hangs up, sending a picture of Queen Explosion Murder to his mom.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Someone knocks on his door just as he's about to go to sleep.
"The hell do you want?" Bakugou shouts angrily, unwilling to leave the comfy confines of his bed.
"Open up." Aizawa's gruff voice is on the other side of the door.
"I'm about to go to freaking sleep, leave me alone!!" Bakugou all but screeches.
"It would be in your best interest to open the door, Bakugou. The police need to question you about the murders that took place before the second linebreak of this fic."
He scowls and goes to open the door, and when he does, Queen Explosion Murder comes out of nowhere to rub against Aizawa.
Bakugou feels betrayed.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Bakugou pets his cat angrily.
"Stupid Deku! Always getting in my fucking way. Loser nerd. Little bitch ass," he mutters.
His cat gives him an unimpressed look. If cats could roll their eyes, he's sure she would be right now.
"Tch. Go hang out with him if you like him so much."
Famous last words.
She almost seems to understand him, and she opens the door and walks out.
Bakugou harrumphs.
When he next goes to the common room, he sees Deku, and lo and behold, Queen Explosion Murder sitting on top of his legs.
Deku, with his freaky sixth sense that always seems to know where Bakugou is at all times, notices him walk in. He says helplessly, “K-- Kaachan your cat is--”
Bakugou growls. "I know, damn nerd! Die!”
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
It’s when Queen Explosion Murder runs out and cuddles up to Uraraka that Bakugou has to draw the line.
First of all, his crazy cat likes their dead-inside teacher. Fine, maybe. But then… Deku of all people? Now she likes round-cheeks too?
Unacceptable.
It’s time he held a meeting.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
“Do you know why you’ve been summoned here?”
They're at the headquarters of The Queen's Empire™. This is where all the planning goes down, at a very comically long table, stretching out many meters.
“Is this really necessary, Baku--”
“Shhh! You never know if there are spies listening in, you need to use the code names!”
“Okay… Fine. Is this really necessary Cat-suki Nya-kugo?”
“It is indeed Meow-toshi. ” Bakugou stares intently into Shinsou’s eyes.
It is. What if there's a traitor among us? Koda signs, equally as serious.
“Koda, why-- I mean Kod-nya. Why are you wearing a suit and tie?” Shinsou turns to look at Bakugou. “Cat-suki, where the hell did you get that vest and bowtie?” Shinsou then looks down at himself, and realizes he also has a suit on for some reason.
A spotlight flicks on with a flash, suddenly revealing none other than…
Nya-kugo Meow-tsuki.
Meow-tsuki struts down the runway, and takes her seat at the head of their very long table.
Then the door to their lair opens, and out come the Wild Wild Pussycats. Magical girl sound effects seem to faintly play from somewhere.
"Lock on with these sparkling gazes!" Mandalay starts.
"We've come to lend a paw and help!!" Ragdoll announces cheerfully.
Tiger has a menacing aura about him. "Coming out of nowhere…"
"Stingingly cute and cat-like!" Pixie-Bob cries.
Altogether, they yell: "Wild, wild… Pussycats!"
The magical girl music fades. They freeze in their theatrical formation, holding still for a good few seconds, before moving out of their poses and walking in silence to their seats at the very long table.
Meow-tsuki sets right to work. “So how is The Queen’s Empire™ spreading?”
“I've been sharing pictures of Queen Explosion Murder with the students in General Ed. They like her a lot, I think."
"You already know this, Old Hag. Me and Kod-nya have made sure that our classmates love The Queen, and Kod-nya has his animal network or some shit."
"Considering that you and your classmates will be our adorable top heroes in a few years, we'll definitely be able to spread her reign through your influence," Pixie-Bob comments.
Ragdoll nods vigorously. “We're already turning the tides for cats everywhere! We’ve gained increased support, and cats have been steadily rising in pet popularity. We're super close to overtaking dogs at the rate we're going!"
“How do we finally start pulling ahead?" Meow-tsuki thinks for a moment. “Hm. Cat-suki. You’ve got a fanbase from that time I made you model. There are companies that have already contacted me about interviewing you recently. Speak to them and find a way to talk about Queen Explosion Murder. They should ask more about her and then our popularity will skyrocket, and we'll be able to secure victory for all cats worldwide.”
Cat-suki slams the table. “I can’t stand sitting here listening to your plans while The Queen suffers in silence! There's something fucking wrong with her! She went to Meow-doriya the other day, and she was even sleeping on Urarak-nya! She's never liked them before, and I can’t idly stand by any longer! I believe that The Queen… Is actually the League of Villains chick-- Tog-nya-- transformed!”
Suddenly a vent falls, and someone comes crashing down with it.
Groaning and curled up in a fetal position on the floor is none other than… Tod-nya-roki!
“Huuuh? What are you doing here, Icy-Hot?!”
Tod-nya-roki jumps to his feet quickly, but shortly after doubles over in pain. With a slight grimace he announces, “I have come with a request. Let me in on raising The Queen’s Empire™.”
There are whispers around the room, everyone shocked at his sudden declaration.
“...And why should we do that?” Meow-tsuki narrows her eyes at him.
“I have information on The Queen that is invaluable. Also, my father is the number one hero, which naturally means I have a lot of influence on whether the popularity of cats goes up…" Tod-nya-roki pauses here for dramatic effect, but ends up pathetically wheezing in pain during the silence. "...Or down," he finishes with another wheeze.
“You fucker!” Cat-suki snarls.
“Also, I like cats.” Tod-nya-roki whispers.
“Hm." Meow-tsuki smiles wide, ignoring the angry gremlin noises coming from Cat-suki. “I like you, kid. You’re officially admitted to The Queen’s Empire™! Now, tell me what you know about The Queen.”
“Yesterday she was being especially clingy to Meow-doriya. She also seemed to really like Och-nya-ko Ura-nya-ka, someone Tog-nya has previously expressed interest in. Also, late at night she was staring intently at the TV when news about Stain was playing. I think… Queen Explosion Murder is actually Tog-nya in disguise."
Everyone in the room gasps, shocked, but they all keep calm on the outside.
"Tod-nya-roki, thank you for this information," Meow-tsuki says gravely. "Do you have any idea where the real The Queen is? Perhaps… has she been cat-napped by Toga?"
Todoroki smirks slightly. "I believe I know where the real The Queen is…” He wheezes again, clutching his probably bruised ribs with an icy hand.
"Go after her!" Meow-tsuki yells. "I trust you; you've been an invaluable member to The Queen's Empire™!"
Todoroki runs off, limping and wheezing.
("I already said The Queen is Tog-nya!!! Fucking HELLO?!!" Cat-suki screams, chasing after Tod-nya-roki.)
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Consumed by rage at what torturous things Queen Explosion Murder's captor might be doing to her, Bakugou has sparks ready at his fingertips. He blindly follows Todoroki, and realizes… they're at the UA dorms?
Todoroki yells, "In here!" And kicks down someone's door, breaking it away from its hinges and sending it crashing onto the floor.
Bakugou recognizes the aesthetic of the room immediately. This room can belong to no one but…
“TOKO-NYA-MI!” Bakugou roars, enraged, charging into the room. “GIVE ME BACK MY CAT YOU BIRD BRAIN!”
Todoroki follows him into the room, gun in hand and Naruto headband tied around his forehead. "FBI OPEN UP!"
Queen Explosion Murder is sitting atop Tokoyami’s bed, purring as the one and only Tokoyami stares at the intruders, his hand frozen mid-pet.
Silence.
“...”
“...”
Tokoyami sinks further into himself. “...It’s not what it looks like.”
“Well then tell me what the fuck is going on.” Bakugou squints.
“Uh." Tokoyami shrinks even further. "I was luring her into my room with cat treats to pet-- to take her soul. Yes definitely. For the good of all bird-kind she must be wiped from existence.”
“...”
“...”
“OkAy fiNe-- I was just trying to pet her. I couldn’t help it. As much as our bird-kind should despise cats, I could not help but be lulled into a false sense of security and think she was… cute. This is betrayal. I’ve turned on my kind and have been lowered to a different plane of existence: one of earthly desire and mortal want. My dark and empty soul is now heavy and weighed down by my sins.”
“Mood," Todoroki says.
Bakugou rolls his eyes. “Just give me my damn cat back.” He reaches out and picks Queen Explosion Murder up.
Bakugou and Todoroki leave Tokoyami to his brooding and head to Bakugo's room, where the fake Queen Explosion Murder-- Toga in disguise-- is licking herself. They lock up Toga in a cat cage, take her to the police, and she's put in a maximum security prison. They never think about her again. The end.
(Later, Toga is arrested. She sits in a cell waiting for one of her friends to bust her out, and wonders why there’s a random cat laying on the other bed in the cell. Also, doesn't it look an awful lot like Bakugou Katsuki's cat? The one that's weirdly been getting a whole lot of publicity lately?)
(…Maybe she can eat it.)
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Todoroki opens the door to Bakugou’s room to see who knocked. “Ah. Shouji. What are you doing here?”
Bakugou’s protests-- “Don’t let anyone in here! It’s my room, Half ‘n Half!”-- are ignored.
“I wanted to see Bakugou’s cat," Shouji replies.
“Oh, sure. Why not? Come in.” Bakugou says sarcastically, obviously not meaning it.
Todoroki opens the door anyway. “Don’t be immature Cat-suki.” He freezes, realizing he used Bakugo's codename.
"Ah. So it is you, Cat-suki.” Shouji suddenly has a dangerous aura around him. He slowly pulls off his mask... revealing another mask. “I am Kakashi Hatake! My Ninken and I will take over the world and there is nothing you can do to stop me!"
Todoroki moves to scramble back when--
He wakes up.
It was just a dream. Todoroki really needs to stop reading the manga he borrowed from Sero just before he goes to sleep. Of course Shouji can't be Kakashi.
Unless...
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Todoroki takes a picture of Bakugou playing with Queen Explosion Murder and posts it on his social media accounts, already having several followers due to his father being the number one hero.
There are people who immediately reply and like the comment, asking him questions like, “Is that Bakugou Katsuki?” or, “Is that a cat? It’s so cute!” or, “What’s its name?”
Todoroki replies briefly to a few of the questions and then tells Bakugou he should post something. Bakugou deposits The Queen into Todoroki’s lap and takes a picture of Todoroki’s startled face and The Queen hissing at him.
They both gain followers off of each other and their synced posts, and all the other online influencers realize they can never compare and quit social media.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
The members of The Queen's Empire™ surf through various news channels, admiring their work.
“--reported that 100% of people voted for cats as their favorite animal in this year's Pet Popularity award. Dogs are no--”
“--Queen Explosion Murder, Bakugou Katsuki’s cat, has taken the world by storm and won another cat pageant. Rumor has it that she’s never lost a single competition before. Many of the competitors can’t even be disappointed after losing, one even going as far as to say: ‘Just being blessed with the sight of such a beautiful cat is enough for me.’ Truly, this is an unprecedented--”
"--Wild Pussycats are back and better than before, seen repping Queen Explosion Murder merchandise while on their way back from a guest teacher session at UA High School. When asked about it, they expressed their love for the one and only Queen Explosion Murder, which is on theme considering--"
“--breaking news! Another animal shelter has been opened up in dedication to The Queen. This is the tenth one this week, all in the name of Bakugou Katsuki's cat. It really seems--”
Meow-tsuki shuts the TV off, her triumphant grin reflected in the now dark surface.
"We've done it. World domination." She proclaims with finality. "All hail the Queen."
"All hail the Queen," the rest of The Queen's Empire™ echoes.
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Long ago, she was once a kid. She ran around and played with her friends, she drew with crayons on the walls, and was beginning to learn how to read and write.
Her mother had a Mutant-type Quirk which made her appearance one of an anthropomorphic cat, and her father had an Emitter-type Quirk related to charisma.
One day, after she'd waved goodbye to all her friends and began her walk home from school, her Quirk manifested.
Ever since then, she's been declared missing.
But she doesn't quite remember that anymore. She's just a cat now, after all.
Queen Explosion Murder watches her idiot owner converse with a just-as-idiotic red haired classmate while being pet by the normie with the tail. She lazes around on the couch while her idiot’s classmates obsess over her.
She’s just happy they feed her and give her attention, unaware of the worldwide monarchy being established in her name, unaware of the monopoly on the pet industry she has, unaware of just exactly how much money, power, and fame she holds in her tiny toe beans.
(Quirk: Cat Worship. User is permanently turned into a cat in both mind and body. Anyone who lays eyes on them will be unable to resist their inherent charm.)
/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
(Toga does end up eating that poor, random cat who was accidentally sent to jail for life.)