Chapter Text
“Hey...”
“Hi...”
“Are you… comfortable?” Alpha’s question comes out a little strangled as he shifts his weight. The word ‘comfortable’ gets compressed out of his lungs in a husky croak.
If Rey wasn’t currently so fucking buzzed off of that one insane orgasm still ringing through her, she might have been able to answer him.
Still, awkwardness blurs around the edges of her overly-aroused haze. Reality bleeds like droplets of ink in water. Ripples of cognizance move like wisps of smoke, making it difficult to catch hold of her situation.
Of what she’s allowed.
Of what she told herself she wouldn’t do.
And still did anyway.
When Rey swallows, her throat is patch dry as she watches the muscles of Alpha’s shoulders strain at the effort it takes for him to hold himself above her.
His back is arched, his body hunched over her, broad chest all around her, shaking with little shudders as he pulses inside her. His arms enclose her in a possessive cage. And that scent.
God, that scent.
Alpha holds her. Cradles her. He’s gentle with her. So, so delicate with his hands as he smoothes them across her limbs, stomach, and breasts. His palms cover her chest with such a possessive hold. Her cunt pulses as she recalls the memory of him squeezing and pulling—
There’s nowhere for her to go now that he has her locked tight.
The knot she practically begged for throbs in her as if to remind her it’s there.
Though, how can she possibly forget?
Good god… she let an Alpha knot her.
She let Ben Solo knot her. Of all people. Of all Alphas.
Fuck.
It’s usually a really intimate thing. There’s a different level of trust when it comes to knots. Just coming inside isn’t nearly as mind-blowingly orgasmic as being knotted.
Yet, he’s known her for less than a few cumulated hours, and she spread her legs so willingly. So needy for it, demanding his knot.
Wasn’t she saying something just a few weeks ago about taking a break from Alphas?
Not to mention how certain she was that this Alpha was just like all the other Alphas out there not looking for commitment.
He doesn’t want a family.
“Family only disappoints you in the end.”
“I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me.”
With a huff that blows at the sweaty strands framing her face, Ben shifts, rolling them so effortlessly that Rey is surprised to find herself now draped on top of him and purring like a goddamn kitten.
Oh, fuck? She shouldn’t be as turned on as she is right now.
Rey concentrates on the feel of him filling her, stretching her. It’s so warm. A tight squeeze that only emits heat.
Ugh, Rey kind of wants to be in heat right now. What that might feel like… How utterly amazing it would be...
And terrible! To experience that but know she can’t expect anything else.
She’s entirely too conflicted and way too content.
This is absolutely NOT what she needs right now.
Ben is stroking his thick fingers down her spine, far too distracting as she tries to maintain some semblance of control.
But right now, it seems like a losing battle as she vibrates with pleasure on top of Alpha’s massive and muscled body.
Fucking hell.
Two weeks ago
Currently holding her drink glass against her face, hoping it will act as a shield that can turn her invisible, Rey tries to ignore the discomfort she feels when Poe makes it obvious he’s talking about her from across the room.
Sure, people are bound to ask why they aren’t standing there together. Why is Rey over here pretending not to notice him? Why is she trying to avoid looking at him? Weren’t they about to get engaged? Married? Mated?
She should have known there’d be far too many nosy friends (and friends of friends) here.
If she wanted to avoid the gossip (and the attention), she really should’ve stayed home.
From the looks of his gesticulation, Rey just knows Poe is weaving some one-sided story that totally bumps up his ego while blaming the root cause on something that can’t be explained. He doesn’t put the onus on her, but the way he’s laying the guilt on thick is more than a little obvious.
He’s probably telling them it wasn’t either of their faults. They just drifted apart.
It happens sometimes.
But, he did all he could. He was the best Alpha one could be. He worshiped her for five years! All he wanted was to build a life with his Omega and do all the things Alpha and Omega couples are supposed to do. It’s not his fault he found a broken one—
“Rey!”
She’s regretting coming to this party so fucking much.
Pulling her glass away from her face and clutching it tightly, Rey tries to muster an enthused smile at Bazine Netal.
She isn’t exactly sure how Bazine happened to pop up at all their friend gatherings. From what she knows, Bazine works at First Order with Hux—but she doesn’t seem to really be friends with Hux either. Her presence here at the house warming (and other group gatherings) is somewhat perplexing, but Rey doesn’t really care to question it.
“Hey, Baz,” Rey thinks she raises her voice at the right inflection point to sound positive and welcoming, but the sound also gets caught in her throat. As she attempts to clear it, Bazine wastes no time with pleasantries.
“I’m so sorry to hear about you and Poe.” Bazine’s face appears absolutely remorseful. Of course she’s heard. Bazine is not one to keep any gossip she hears to herself.
“We realized we wanted different things.” It’s the same script Rey’s told a few times now whenever she’s had to explain why she’s suddenly single.
Bazine nods in commiseration, hand reaching out and—oh, Rey really wishes she wouldn’t—grabs at Rey’s forearm as some sort of attempt at comfort.
“It’s just, we all assumed you two were it. Soulmates.”
Rey’s stomach churns at the forlorn look in Bazine’s eyes. For someone she doesn’t consider a friend, Bazine is sure acting like they’re the best of buds. “Yeah, I guess—”
“I always thought you were going to be one of those Omegas who settled down quick. Family track. After school activities. College applications...”
Bazine really knows how to lay it on thick—and envision a whole lifetime of milestones Rey may never actually get to experience.
The reminder of that peeves Rey. “I’ve actually decided I’m taking a break from Alphas for a while.”
“Aw, sweetie, yeah,” Bazine says, lower lips pouting. She and her pity are eating this up. Bazine is a Beta, and the mating rituals are not as instinctually habitual as they are with Alpha and Omega pairs. There’s soap opera level drama involved at times, and Bazine, as a bystander, can never get enough.
So when she tries to act like she knows exactly how Rey feels, despite knowing that Bazine doesn’t act this way with ill intention, it still annoys the hell out of her.
“I’ve realized an Alpha isn’t what I need to be fulfilled in life.”
“Whatever you need to do to make it through this,” Bazine replies, not really agreeing with Rey’s stance, more like talking around Rey and focusing on the aspect of Rey’s disastrous life that she just needs to be involved in. “If you need to talk about anything, my dms are open.”
Rey spreads her lips in hopes it forms as a smile. “Thanks for your concern,” she says, not feeling very thankful at all.
Bazine just gives her another pitying tilt of her head before she prances away, leaving Rey alone once again to stand uncomfortably in a place she’s tried to accept as Rose’s new home.
It’s already a whole thing that this is Rose and Hux’s place. Not that Rose can’t have her own place. But Rey is still raw from what was once Rose and Rey’s place and is now just Rey’s place, since Rose moved in with Hux. Bleh, it’s still a sour taste on her tongue, but Rey bites it to scold it for falling out of line.
They’ve been over this. Rose gave her months to prepare. She shouldn’t still be dealing with the loss of Rose moving out.
It’s just—Omegas don’t usually like living alone.
Rey didn’t think she would be one of those Omegas, having been alone most of her life. That is until she met Rose in college.
But after almost six amazing years as roommates, now that Rose has found an Alpha she wants to start a life with, Rey has admittedly struggled.
She’s really happy for Rose. Truly. Rose deserves to be adored by someone as obstinately stable as Hux. He really has his shit together. He and Rose are almost nauseatingly adorable in how perfectly they fit.
And technically, the way things were heading, she was supposed to be moving in with Poe. But instead, she’s alone while Rose gets to have her happy ending. Rey’s… stuck. Left behind…
“You know, I think you’re onto something,” a deep voice echoes from behind her. Rey whips around and looks over—or up, to the person (or boulder) standing a few feet behind her and to her left, leaning against the armrest of a plush chair in Rose and Hux’s living room.
Rey doesn’t recognize him. This giant man in a black sweater that looks soft and easy-going, while also maintaining this vibe of seriousness.
Alpha.
She tries to take him in, while her brain malfunctions all ability to parse two words together.
Alpha. Big.
Very comprehensive.
When she takes too long to respond, the man with dark, sweeping waves of raven black hair tickling the edge of his insanely sharp jaw, tenses said jaw as he clarifies, “Finding your forever mate shouldn’t be the only thing that matters in life. It shouldn’t be the only thing that makes you happy.”
There are so many spots dotting his face in a way that makes his alabaster skin an expanse of galaxy, and mapped on his cheek were constellations.
Whoa there, someone needs to get a goddamn grip.
Rey shakes herself out of her body’s awkward reaction to encountering this… mountain of a man. Then she processes his words.
Huh, maybe someone finally kind of gets it.
“Tell that to the majority of the single population of Alphas and Omegas in Coruscant. They’re all just dying to ‘mate up’.”
“Sorry,” the Alpha says, ducking his head and looking slightly embarrassed. “It’s not often you come across someone else who’s single and not chomping at the bit—pun a little intended—at the idea of focusing on nothing else but finding a mate.”
“I just said I was taking a break from Alphas,” Rey argues. “And it’s rude to listen in on other people’s conversations.” Rey doesn’t think she sounds defensive, but the Alpha beside her looks a little taken aback by the force in her tone. It’s not like she was trying to tell Bazine she was done with Alphas for good. She just wanted to get her off her back.
She watches as the Alpha in front of her glances over at Poe, and she wonders if he already heard whatever tale Poe’s been spinning about them, her integrity already compromised by her ex, yet again.
“I apologize for overhearing,” Alpha says while not sounding very apologetic at all.
Something sparks, like a static shock, making the air around Rey seem fuzzy and warm. Perhaps her watered-down drink is finally kicking in…
“So, the commitment life isn’t for you?”
The Alpha swallows. Visibly. Rey watches his throat bob with the sort of fascination she should not have of said throat.
He shrugs. “Hasn’t happened yet. Haven’t met the right person, maybe. But I had goals to focus on my career. To find success in what I was good at.” It’s the most circumspect he’s sounded yet, but Rey is already under the impression that this Alpha likes to do things solo.
But the way he’s glancing at her, his humor dimmed a little and those auburn eyes are watching her with a different kind of inspection.
Is... this flirting?
The immediate swell of attraction that first inflated in Rey’s stomach has shrunk as she mulls over his behavior in confusion.
Looks aren’t everything, she reminds herself, knowing she should probably be on her guard with this guy, considering he’s already made assumptions about her, and he’s only known her for less than five minutes.
She’s had far too many past experiences of Alphas trying to make assumptions about her. One of those Alphas is standing not fifteen feet away from her, now chatting avidly with two of Rose’s coworkers like he wasn’t just relaying his sob story to them moments before.
Rey is annoyed already, and this giant bozo and his unwanted opinion aren’t helping any. What is he trying to say anyway? She knows he’s attractive—her body does too (very much so). And now he’s telling her he hasn’t met the right person? Rey doesn’t know what to do with that information.
As she scrambles to think of a response, he seems to notice her pause.
“I think the idea of it doesn’t measure up to reality,” he says vaguely.
So, the right person isn’t realistic? Who the hell is this guy?
“The idea of what?” she clips back, taking a sip of her drink for something to do.
“Love. Happily ever after. Unrealistic desires to find someone who wants to mate and have lots of babies with you, while being so obscenely happy you make other people sick just looking at the sight of you two holding hands.”
Rey glances at Hux and Rose, standing off to the side of Poe and his audience. Hux has his arm around Rose in a natural, but somewhat possessive hold. From the outside they look like a typical Alpha/Omega pair. Rey knows how much they love each other. How much they deserve one another.
Maybe it does make her a little sick.
This Alpha’s words are teasing and a little bit sarcastic, and while Rey has been mulling over those exact thoughts as of late, they don’t exactly align with her beliefs.
Because yes, she does believe in love. Real love. Not something set with conditions, parameters, or rules. Love doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be real.
And in her past experience, she has yet to find such an incredibly elusive thing such as love. Even if she can see it exists for some people, maybe it’s not something for all. She hates how depressed that thought makes her feel.
“What’s worse, you reckon?” Rey asks, a little more than curious to hear his answer. “Letting people in, knowing that’s how you get hurt in the end, or never letting them in at all?”
“One option is safe, the other is—opening up to someone involves being willing to take risks. Being vulnerable. Fear keeps a lot of people from even trying—” He stops himself from finishing his sentence a few times, maybe catching on to the awareness that it’s possible Rey doesn’t agree. She hears him though, loud and clear. “It’s not perfect. Shit’s going to come your way. It matters how you deal with it. If you live life in fear, you’ll never become who you are meant to be.”
“So philosophical, and just who do you think that is?” Rey asks. A compulsion fills her to level this Alpha with a challenging stare. “Who am I supposed to be?”
Alpha smirks, which Rey doesn’t expect. He’s enjoying this. The banter, whatever this is, that's happening between them. “That’s the point of living, to figure it out. To accept it won’t always go the way you think.”
She’s already been through the pain of letting people in enough times before (and been thoroughly burned by it), so to say her choices are ‘safe’ might be true, but still, Rey finds herself annoyed by this Alpha’s observations.
“I know life isn’t perfect, love even less so,” she says, thinking about her most recent relationship. How great it had seemed. How sure she was that it was love. That even if a lot of Poe’s opinions and desires did not align with hers, it didn’t mean they weren’t destined to be together. All the things she ignored for the sake of being ‘happy.’ “But sometimes when it comes to making decisions, especially decisions of the heart, falling head first might only lead to shallow depths and rocks beneath.”
“So you are afraid,” he says, taunting her.
“I’m not afraid. I’m… experienced,” Rey grouses.
So many of her choices were made because they served Poe and what he thought was best for them—like not going to grad school. But, Rey is still coming to terms with a few of the choices she made that she now regrets.
“Love isn’t conditional,” Alpha says, and Rey isn’t sure that’s true. Not after the person she thought she was going to spend her life with turned out to be someone who only had conditions. “It shouldn’t be,” he adds, quieter and possibly not for Rey to hear.
“Everybody leaves,” she says, half to herself, maybe half to him. Oddly, she feels this connection to him. And yes, maybe that does scare her. “One way or another, people have their own lives to worry about. After a certain point, if you can’t keep up they’ll just leave you behind.”
“Only if you give yourself a chance to get to know them,” he says in a low, rumbling voice. It’s far too deep for her to convince herself it was him trying to make a joke. Alpha’s baritone makes her instinctively shiver.
God, she has to get herself together.
Rey blinks, taking a moment longer than necessary to process what he just said in an attempt at levity. Or is he agreeing with her?
A bit dark, though. Rey has no idea what to make of him, nor is she very fond of this conversation and where it’s headed.
So she tries to change the subject. “Who are you friends with here?” Rey asks, realizing she actually has no idea who this man is.
Alpha looks surprised at the change in questioning, but he doesn’t miss a beat. “I’m Hux’s friend. Or—he’d probably be pissed at me for not clarifying that we’re best friends.”
Huh?
“Rose is my best friend,” Rey says with suspicion in her tone. How is it that this Alpha is Hux’s best friend and she has no idea who he is? Everyone who knows Rey knows her best friend is Rose. And everyone who knows Rose knows Rey is her best friend too.
Recognition sparks in the form of two raised eyebrows and parting plush lips. “Yeah—Rey? Ah, Hux has mentioned you before—because of Rose—and you and Rose are—”
Watching this Alpha trip over his words after just mellifluously reciting his soapbox speech about designations and dating and relationships throws Rey for a loop.
Alpha starts again, “I’m Ben Solo, Hux’s—best—friend from work.” He holds his hand out for her to shake, but Rey only stares at it in confusion.
Ben Solo.
Hux’s friend.
Correction: Hux’s best friend (allegedly).
From work?
Rey thinks she’s heard that name before. She can’t exactly recall from where, but maybe it was sometime when she started hanging out more with Rose and Hux.
Still, friend or not, Rey is unsure about his extended hand.
“Rey, though you already know that. And, as I’ve already told you, Rose is my best friend and most recent roommate.” She doesn’t take his hand.
A fizzle of a scent hits her nose, but it's quick and fleeting. Rey is pretty sure it's Ben. Even on suppressants, there’s no denying she’s caught a whiff of something. It’s a jolt to the system. A lightning bolt to the heart.
He smells like smoky embers and a floral bouquet of wildflowers and musk. It’s a heady aroma, catching her more than a little off guard. It reminds her of the densest foliage areas in Coruscant Park, or the trees in that natural park from that one trip she and Rose took to ‘be one with the outdoors’. Consequently, that was the one and only nature trip they ever took.
Rey shifts her weight as she tries to catch another whiff of that scent before she comes to her senses and snaps herself out of it.
What the hell is she doing?
“You’re in tech too, right? At First Order?” Rey tries to continue their conversation, hoping it’ll help distract her from the mugginess his presence does to her head.
He makes her feel a little out of control, which kind of freaks her out.
“Oh, well, no,” Ben has the audacity to look sheepish. “I’m in sales. The market lead for our global operations. Hux is the tech guy.”
Hux is the tech principle of First Order, which is a big fucking deal. He’s been quoted to be the next Larry Page or Sergey Brin of the millennial generation. Not just some tech guy…
Rey has no idea why her subconscious feels the need to defend Hux, of all people. The man responsible for taking her best friend away.
But maybe it’s her way of keeping up a wall between herself and this Ben guy, who might understand where she’s coming from, but is also a guy who thinks she’s afraid of love.
She isn’t afraid of love. She’s familiar with the pain of love. There’s a difference. And she knows she finds this Alpha attractive, but in no way should she be letting him in after one whole conversation. After swearing to herself (and to Bazine) that she is going to take a break from Alphas.
And this Alpha is sending a lot of mixed signals.
“So, Hux said you and Rose have been friends since college?”
Rey wonders what it is about her standing alone to the side that gives off the aura she wants to be spoken to—or approached in any way. Or why someone like Ben Solo even finds her interesting enough to talk to.
She’s been so preoccupied with letting Poe run the show (yet again) that she has failed to notice someone noticing her.
Not someone. Alpha.
“We met at Niima,” Rey confirms. She doesn’t know why she’s still talking to him. Denial and desire are currently at war. She tries to be discreet as she sizes him up again. “What about you?”
Alpha shrugs his broad shoulders and—good God—he’s enormous.
She hates how that’s a feature she finds more attractive than she knows she should.
“I tried school for a bit, but it didn’t stick.”
Something clicks for Rey just then.
Ben Solo.
Ben Solo, the Alpha who traveled all the time, which is apparently why she’s never met him until now.
“You and Hux knew each other growing up?” Rey recalls, and Ben visibly perks up at her recollection.
He clears his throat, and it’s the sexiest sound Rey has ever heard.
Stop it.
“Yeah, I guess I’m not really a friend from work,” Ben amends with a short chuckle. “We’ve been friends since high school.”
“Best friends (apparently), and you didn’t go to university. Just joined Snoke’s company. Like some kind of prodigy.”
Ben has the decency to appear uncomfortable by the label. “Not really a prodigy. I just convinced Snoke to give me a job.”
Rey laughs because that sounds even more arrogant and ridiculous. Especially since he refers to himself as someone in sales.
“Some job,” she comments with a murmur, blinking away hurriedly when she notices him staring at her with an intense sort of fascination that makes her want to blush. She puts mental effort into telling her racing heart to calm and for the blood currently pulsing through her not to settle on her cheeks.
Or her neck—where she notices him briefly glance—and if that isn’t proof that he, too, finds something enticing about her…
She doesn’t know what it is about this Alpha, but he’s got her usual stern resolve broken into pieces and rattling around in her stomach like a jar of jellybeans.
“What about yours?” Ben asks before he lifts his drink to his lips—and it’s the first time Rey notices his gigantic Alpha paw of a hand swallowing that tiny glass whole.
Ridiculous.
Rey swallows the grown lump in her throat. “I’m a literary agent, and the best part of my job is I can do it from my sofa.”
Suddenly a memory from a few weeks ago hits her. Rey had waved it away from her memory, still sticking to her goals of figuring herself out now that her life and her future no longer had a set Alpha in it.
Bits and pieces come back to her. Rose talked Ben up a lot as a possible candidate for someone Rey should date now that she wasn’t with Poe. How perfect it would be. She’s Rose’s best friend. He’s Hux’s best friend. A best friend’s couple square for the ages.
Rose didn’t have a single bad thing to say about him, making Ben almost sound too good to be true.
But then… she Googled him.
He looks different from the photos she remembers seeing online. He had shorter hair back then and a goatee and he seemed about half the mammoth size he is in real life—though the internet can often be not that accurate.
She read a few different bios written up about him, which led to some doom scrolling once she realized the truth.
Ben Solo, the face of the business under the CEO A.J. Snoke was quasi-famous in the software world. Notably on everyone's (and their grandmother’s) minds is that he was in his mid-thirties and still single.
The state of his mating status should be of no interest to her. Though, the more she scrolled, the worse it got.
Tabloids of his dating history—or lack of it.
He’d never really dated an Omega before and seemed to not have much interest in any of them anyway.
Because that—ah, that’s right, this Alpha standing in front of her was known to be one of the most unavailable Alpha bachelors in all of Coruscant.
There was a Jezebel article written about it, which Rey still feels a bit embarrassed for reading in the first place.
And she remembers a few weeks ago, sitting next to Rose on their couch and deciding Ben Solo, who thinks Omegas and family are not things one should prioritize, was not going to be the right Alpha for her. No matter how great Rose said he is—or how tall.
But—having never met this Ben Solo—Rey is unprepared for one thing she didn’t quite account for.
Alpha’s scent.
Maybe he senses this strong attraction between them as well and wants to act on it—physically. Rey’s thighs rub together as she considers acting on it too.
Her mind tells her to slow down, but her Omega is already eager to get to know this Alpha better.
Yes, this Alpha can take care of us...
She shoos away the thought.
But, no, she can’t. This is a terrible idea. She knows it is. She knows this because she knows for a fact that—
Someone like Ben Solo, and all he has to offer on paper, is alone by choice.
He just has to be. Perhaps all he wants from her is one thing, which... based on her attraction to him, isn’t the worst thing, but she knows better. She knows.
“Are you… okay?” Ben asks, snapping Rey out of her internal spiral. Dammit she went deep.
“Right, you do a lot of traveling,” Rey says, ignoring the fact that she just went full catastrophe mode right in front of him. It was actually one of Rose’s supporting points as to why she should give Ben a chance.
”But I know you’ve always wanted to travel!” —had been Rose’s excuse for why an Alpha that was constantly jet-setting would be the right match for Rey, the remote literary agent that could work from her couch or a chaise lounge in southern France if she wanted to.
Ben nods, a perplexed look crossing his face. “You know quite a bit about me.”
“Just as much as you know about me, considering our friends are not being subtle at trying to set us up.”
Her candidness makes Ben laugh. A short thing expelled from the deepest part of his throat. His breath wafts over her shoulder and to her nose, and it’s burning smoky embers, a hand bunch of very aesthetic wild flowers—Pinterest-level visuals—and Alpha. The scent is gone just as quickly again, but an electric current sparks when their eyes meet.
She assumes his blockers are a nice expensive brand, doing a great job at keeping the pureness of that sweetness from her.
But still, the fact that she is able to get a taste—and such a delicious one, at that—throws her off.
Rey is tempted, once again, to try and catch another sniff before she comes to her senses.
Except, she can’t break his stare, even as her mind screams at her to take a step away. Lest she does something she might regret some time later—likely as soon as she’s out of this Alpha’s presence.
Molten topaz is now shaded black as Ben’s dilated pupils take full stock of her, making Rey involuntarily shiver.
Oh.
She forgets what she is about to say or if she is going to say anything at all.
For someone who was quoted in print saying he didn’t think he needed an Omega in his life to be happy (and for literally telling her this again just now), she can’t do much but yell at herself non-verbally while gawking at how intensely he’s staring at her.
“Hey, Rey,” A voice shatters through whatever locked gaze Ben has her in, and Rey dizzily breaks free.
Her shock is instantly replaced by dread as she glances over to see Poe standing a few feet from them.
This… can’t be good.
Rey regrets coming out tonight just by this very situation alone. She is dealing with what looks like a drunk Poe and another Alpha who may or may not have been flirting with her. The verdict is still out on that last assumption.
“Hey.”
Poe glances between her and Ben. There is a territorial air coming off of him that is severely misplaced. “How’s it going?”
Considering they no longer speak to each other like at all, Rey is uneasy by Poe’s casualness.
“Uh, good.” She doesn’t know what to say.
She can see in the way Poe’s mouth twists that he’s not satisfied with that answer. His eyes dart suspiciously to Ben before they land back on her.
“Can I talk to you for a second?”
No, Rey’s pretty sure she definitely doesn’t want to do that.
“Rey and I were actually having a conversation,” Ben cuts in with a tremble of Alpha authority that has Rey’s moral compass screeching to a halt. At the same time, her body wants to physically respond in arousal at the display of dominance.
Rey tries to shake the thoughts away. This isn’t the right time for that.
God, but it has been a while. Especially considering she’s currently in the process of scanning and deleting her relationship with Poe from her memory one controlling encounter at a time.
What had she been thinking? When she realized his vision of family and togetherness was not at all aligned with hers, it had been like a fog clearing—and she realized everything she’d built with Poe was all wrong.
It wasn’t real. It was based on a cookie-cutter image that couldn’t be more fake than Poe’s counterfeit Rolex.
For Poe, it was about being the best, most desired, and most envied. His Alpha pride is really something Rey should’ve considered early on in their relationship.
He wanted a family to show off. An Omega to put out in front of all his friends when he felt like making other people jealous. He wanted everyone to know just how better off he was. That’s pretty much all he wanted. All he cared about.
How they looked. How they were perceived. Nothing of substance. Nothing about Rey.
Poe laughs loudly, and Rey breaks out of her wandering again. Shit, she’s zoning out more than she usually does. Way too distracted.
But then Poe opens his mouth again to utter words—and they’re words Rey wants to grab with her fist and punch right back into Poe’s mouth.
“Be careful with this one,” Poe growls with a goading tone as lighthearted as a two-ton elephant. “She’s a tease.”
“Okay, Poe! Cutting you off!” Rose suddenly swoops in from out of nowhere, getting between him and a suddenly charging—Ben?
Embarrassment freezes inside Rey. She doesn’t have one Alpha, but two basically peacocking at each other with her standing in the middle of them. There’s no denying Ben is posturing for her—defending her from her ex (who is also currently trying to stake a claim he’s not allowed to stake anymore), and instead of being flattered by this situation like every apparently well-adjusted Omega the media praises for being so, so perfect, Rey shuts down.
This is exactly why she said she needed a break. No more Alphas.
At least, not for a while, her Omega amends.
What follows is anger so intense it erupts like an exploding geyser. Pure steam rage. She’s hardly known Ben for ten minutes and he’s already speaking for her? After all she’s been through with Poe, the trauma is still fresh.
I don’t need his help, Rey thinks stubbornly. I don’t need him to defend me from my ex-boyfriend. I don’t need this Alpha to think I need saving. I don’t need another asshole thinking he knows me. Knows what I need.
Ben has no idea who she is.
“Hey mates, we’re good, yeah?” Hux is now standing next to Ben, and Rey cannot believe she’s at the center of a scene at a party.
Rey catches Bazine typing furiously on her phone on the couch as the rest of the party glances their way. Great. Juuust great.
It’s not a very big space, even if it’s a true two-bedroom apartment in one of the nicer parts of Coruscant.
Her heated blush spreads liberally across her neck. She knows at least half the people in this room. Rey doesn’t want to begin to think what they all must be thinking. Likely a myriad of thoughts filled with shame, disappointment, maybe-possibly a good dose of envy, and a whole lot of nosiness.
As if she hadn't already cemented her status in their friend group as broken Omega.
Because what Omega would ever let an Alpha like Poe go?
Rey doesn’t need this. Not this display of Alpha bullshit. It was the whole reason she broke it off with Poe in the first place.
She’s fairly certain all the things Poe liked about her were things that solely connected with her Omega. And after many months of wondering if Poe’s shifting behavior when they were with friends versus when they were alone was something she should be concerned about, Rey came to the conclusion that all he wanted was her Omega.
And that was it.
Sometimes she thinks she could have swapped herself out with another Omega, and it wouldn’t have mattered. As long as she fit certain criteria, Poe didn’t care who it was fulfilling it.
It made Rey feel extremely replaceable. Nothing like the Omegas on TV, which all fight for true love. For connection. Mating in media and mating in reality, were two completely different things.
Reality sucks. Everyone leaves. Nothing is certain. Nothing is real.
It was just designation trying to maintain balance on a skewed scale.
Some people—like Rose—are the lucky ones. The rest, well, it’s shit pickings, apparently.
“I mean, is he serious?” Poe’s incredulous tone rings out, bringing Rey back to the present once again.
Poe’s hand is face up, and gesturing to Ben in disbelief. “We’ve been broken up hardly a few weeks, and he’s trying to make a fucking move on my girl?”
“Not your girl,” Rey mutters with a hiss just as Ben expels a disgruntled breath.
“Right in front of me, no less,” Poe continues, choosing not to have heard Rey.
“We were just talking,” Ben says with just as much incredulity in his deeper baritone.
Rey doesn’t like the odd stitch pulling in her stomach at the way he says that. Like Poe thinks it is so ridiculous that another Alpha would ever flirt with her—and that said Alpha might even be agreeing with him.
Because… right, Ben doesn’t think Omegas are all that great.
King of cold heart, remember?
“Hey, we’re friends. We’re allowed to talk to each other, yeah?” Hux tries to intervene again in that earnestly Irish drawl of his.
Poe is nodding his head, but he’s not smiling. Glare still firmly pointed up at Ben. He works his jaw, and then that glare settles on Rey.
“I came over here because I just wanted to talk to Rey for a second.”
Hux attempts to speak, but Ben is louder and deeper—with a boom that everyone in the room can hear.
Especially Rey.
“Well, may—”
“Yeah, I don’t think Rey wants to talk to you.”
“Maybe another time…” Hux finishes, trying to laugh off what Ben just snarled from behind the cage Hux has woven around his shoulders with the guise of friendliness, but it’s clear he was trying to keep two Alphas from ripping each other’s throats out.
The growing discomfort infuses the room with so much Alpha tension Rey thinks she might suffocate in it.
And through all of this, her body is at war with how to react.
Because Rey is feeling two different things.
Anger… and arousal.
Heat throbs between Rey’s legs, and she’s so thankful for the high dosage of suppressants she takes to help cover it up.
Though, the way Ben glances at her sharply makes Rey think maybe she’s not hiding her reaction as well as she thought.
The whole party is staring at them now, and no one is even pretending to ignore the giant Alpha standoff happening in the middle of Rose and Hux’s living room.
It’s too many eyes, too much attention. Rey never liked the attention, and she hated being seen as her designation first and person second even more.
Rey just wants to get the fuck out of here.
She takes one final sip of her drink, now mostly tequila flavored ice anyway, and sets it on the dining room table.
When she takes her next steps, this time toward the door, she doesn’t see if it’s Ben or Poe who is trying to go after her. All she hears is Hux squawking out a few ‘hey hey heys’ and a ‘whoa whoa.’
Rose is at her side, muttering a slew of apologies and ‘fuck Alphas’ in commiseration.
Except, no, not fuck Alphas. She’s actually got a good one.
“I’m okay, Rose. I just… can’t be here anymore.” In Rose’s entryway, Rey scouts for her shoes beneath the piles of others. She spots one brown boot that’s absolutely giant among the rest.
And somehow she (and her cunt) just know it’s Alpha’s.
“Yeah, I totally understand. Sorry things got awkward,” she says empathetically. “Poe didn’t mention he was coming, and as per usual, just decided to show up.”
Poe always had a bad habit with communicating.
“But… What do you think of Ben?” Rose’s question sounds planned.
Rey huffs, shooting Rose a look as she attempts to pull her boots on while standing. Now is not the time for her to be thinking about anyone. And that’s just like Poe showing up unannounced, especially considering he knew she’d likely be there.
Just such fucking bullshit.
Rose doesn’t push it, her question left unanswered. “Let me know when you get home safe.”
“Yeah, I’ll text you,” Rey says without glancing back, too afraid of what she might see if she does.
It’s not until she’s in the elevator making her descent down that she finally exhales whatever breath she last inhaled in Rose’s apartment.
When she next sucks in air, it’s residual, that smoky scent. It wafts around her, locked in that confined elevator space.
Rey can’t race through the lobby and to the outside air fast enough.
She doesn’t like how her legs shake as she walks to the subway station near Rose and Hux’s apartment or how her feet scrape against the pavement, desperate to turn around and go back.
No, she can’t go back.
But, Alpha—
Rey shakes her head. This is why she told herself she was taking a break from Alphas. She isn’t herself around them. They make it impossible to fucking think straight. And the shit they just pulled? She really needs some space from them. At least for a little while. Or maybe indefinitely.
The idea that she needs a mate to be happy isn’t so common (or expected) anymore. Rey can be independent. She can do everything on her own. Just like Alphas, who want to succeed and have other goals outside of mating. Omegas deserve that same respect.
But then what about love and mating—
No. She doesn’t need to get caught up in any more Alpha Omega drama. Especially when it revolves around someone as intense as Ben fucking Solo.
The kind of Alpha that cares more about his success and strength than being a protector. An Alpha who covets power, wealth, and status. Doesn’t that make him just like Poe? Maybe all Alpha’s are the same.
If he were ever to consider an Omega, it would probably be one of the ones that know how to be pampered. Who will live gloriously rich and do whatever she wants as long as she bears him beautiful and perfect pups. Who she’ll deal with so Alpha can fuck off on a yacht with rich clients, fucking new unmated Omegas. Not a care for the commitment of the mating bite they left on that poor Omega back home. Alone in a big house where she’s tired of arranging and rearranging her kitchen cabinets and—
Okay, maybe she’s getting a little carried away here.
But one thing is for certain.
She shouldn’t expect an Alpha like Ben Solo to be the kind for the long term. The kind who might cook for her or do the mundane shit with like picking cereal out of a grocery store aisle. He’s not the kind of Alpha looking to settle down or get married, have all the kids and be a loving, nurturing, and caring Alpha father for his family.
No, Ben is the last Alpha on the planet she should consider getting involved with.
She shouldn’t even be thinking about him.
She shouldn’t ever be thinking about him.
She shouldn’t—
Present 🎁
Well, fuck, so much for that.