Work Text:
"Do you want me to buy you something on the way home?"
"Beer."
=====
The sound of the door opened snapped Kang Yoon Hee out of her thoughts. She got out from her office to greet her husband.
"Have you eaten yet?"
"I have. At Jung Hee's."
He put the beers he bought in the fridge and without another words went to the bedroom.
Kang Yoon Hee exhaled, grabbed one of beers and sat down. They needed to talk about the future of their marriage. The whole debacles with Do Joon Young, getting Lee Ji An and Ki Beom out of the trouble, the trials... had made them had to put their personal matters at the backseat. Now, it was all settled, no use to postpone the inevitable.
Park Dong Hoon emerged from the bedroom and went to the bathroom without sparing her a glance. Kang Yoon Hee sipped her beer.
From the bathroom he walked right back to the bedroom.
"Yeobo..."
"I'm tired. Let's talk tomorrow."
She clutched the beer can, the condensation made her hands wet. Cold. The bedroom door clicked shut.
But, of course they didn't talk the next day. And the next. And the next. Her husband apologized, saying that things had been very hectic at the office. He didn't explain but Kang Yoon Hee guessed that they were cleaning up the mess Do Joon Young had left. She knew she shouldn't feel guilty because they got nothing to do with her. But, she still felt burdened. And she wouldn't even dare to think how her husband deal with his coworkers, knowing that they knew he was cheated on by his wife with the former CEO. So, she tried to be patient and understanding.
Park Dong Hoon was never a cheerful person to begin with but for the last few days there's added somberness hanging around him like a black cloud. Did he mourn their dying marriage already?
=====
"Hello."
"Are you free tonight? Let's eat together."
Kang Yoon Hee held her breath for a second. This is it.
"Sure."
=====
Kang Yoon Hee chewed her food slowly, waiting for her husband to say whatever on his mind. But he stayed quiet. She guessed it was up to her to break the silence.
"Everything is fine at the office now?" She said, picking a piece of meat and put it on her husband's rice.
"Yes. Park Dong Woon is the new CEO," he answered without looking up from his meal.
Kang Yoon Hee exhaled. She has been doing that a lot lately.
"And Lee Ji An? How is she?"
Hearing the question, her husband ceased his movement for a second before continuing to eat.
"She's fine, I think..."
"She texted me, about a week ago, thanking me for everything. She said that Chairman Jang was helping her looking for a new job."
Park Dong Hoon nodded stiffly, and took a big gulp of his water.
Lee Ji An. The girl who reminded her why she fell in love with Park Dong Hoon and married him. The girl who wanted everything that she had carelessly threw away. The girl who liked her husband. And she had a feeling that he liked the girl back.
"What company does she work for now?"
"I don't know the details, but it's in Busan."
"Busan? That's pretty far."
He nodded again.
She didn't know what prompted her to ask him about the girl. Because she wanted to see his reaction? To see if his walls would cracked and show how much the girl affected him? To hurt him? To hurt herself?
"Any new interesting client lately?"
She couldn't help but smile at his attempt to change the subject.
"Even if I have, I couldn't talk about them you know, client confidentiality."
"Ah. You're right."
But she appreciate his effort. "I do have interesting interns, though."
"Really?"
So, she launched on her story. He nodded and hummed at the right times, but somehow she felt he's not really there with her. Was he ever?
Park Dong Hoon put down his chopsticks and drank the last of his water. Kang Yoon Hee mimicked him, preparing herself.
He took a deep breath before saying : "We should try. We owe it to Ji Seok."
Of course. It's for Ji Seok. For their families. But not for him. Not for her. Duty. Not love.
She should be glad that she's been given a second chance. But why all she wanted to do now was scream and lash out?
"Yes." She exhaled. She has been doing that a lot lately. "Let's try. For Ji Seok."
That was her answer, but it sounded more like an attempt to convince herself.
She should've bought soju.
And he really tried.
He didn't spend too much time hanging out with his brothers and friends at Jung Hee's anymore. Only a couple of nights a week. And he never stay out late, always try to have dinner together with her.
He's still going out for his Sunday morning soccer club, but he would be back by lunch, when usually he came home after dark, to spent time with her.
They went on dates. Watching movies at the cinemas. Dining at fancy restaurants... All the things she wished for in the past.
He tried to make her to be what she always wanted. His number one.
Then why, why she found herself standing at the front of their door and couldn't make her hands to open it?
Why, why she was hoping, praying, to come home to an empty house?
Why she thought it would be better if he's out, with his friends at Jung Hee's instead of being home, waiting for her?
She couldn't bear it anymore.
To see him sitting on the sofa, with the TV on, faraway look on his face, clutching his phone, wanting to be at some place else, with someone else... To see him forcing a smile when he looked at her. To see the false cheerfulness. The fake laughter...
And she tried. She really did try. To be grateful and appreciate everything she has.
But, she felt like she's drowning. She's suffocating from guilt, shame, duties, responsibilities... and his kindness. She's loosing herself, slowly.
Was she a terrible person to think that now was worse than when she was having an affair?
Because then, at least she had Do Joon Young. Yes, he's a sneaky lying bastard but at least she could talk to him, shared her troubles with him, and touched him...
Now, she felt more lonely than ever.
Conversations with her husband getting more and more stilted.
She didn't allowed herself to complain because she was supposed to be thankful.
And, there's one aspect of their marriage that they silently agreed to not try. It saddened her because it reminded her that they're doing this for their son and their families, and not for themselves. But at the same time she was relieved, because she wasn't sure if she will welcome him or if she will be able to handle his rejection.
Kang Yoon Hee realised she's been standing here for too long. She had to get inside. She had to face her punishment.
"Oh. You're home?" Her husband greeted her. He's exactly where she guessed he would be. Sitting on the sofa, with the TV on. He smiled at her and all she wanted to do was turn around and get the hell away. Far away.
After changing her work clothes and washing up, she went to get a beer from the fridge. From where she was standing, she could see the side profile of the man she had known and loved for almost 20 years. The familiar eyes, nose and lips. But now it's like she was looking at a stranger.
What's on his mind everytime he looked at her? Did he see the woman he married? Or the woman who betrayed him?
What was she doing here? To atone for her sins by making they both suffer more?
She had to admit that she was terrified that she had to spend another twenty years in this loveless relationship with the man who loathe her albeit hiding it very carefully.
He's an important person to her, and she knew she couldn't just suddenly stop loving him. But, that love had lessened significantly, and whatever that's left was not enough to make her to continue living in this hell.
As she silently made up her mind, she felt her heart breaking in to thousands of pieces.
"Let's stop," she whispered.
"Let's stop," she said louder. More firmly.
He slowly turned his head towards her.
"Dong Hoon-ssi. Let's stop."
=====
Even after she asked, he still reluctant to divorce her, at least not right away.
"Things will be difficult for you," he reasoned. "People will talk, and your reputation will be in tatters..."
She wanted to say the hell with all that. But, he's right. And she appreciate his thoughtfulness, his kindness, although they suffocated her even more.
"Then maybe I should go somewhere far away, where nobody knows my sins..."
His head jerked up to stare at her. Then his eyes turned apologetic.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Yoon Hee-ya..."
"I'm sorry too..."
=====
They sat side by side.
The sounds of busy airport couldn't penetrate their wall of silence.
Kang Yoon Hee knew she would be back in a couple of weeks, but somehow this felt like a final farewell.
"It's time. I should go in," she said after hearing the announcement of her flight.
"Okay." He started to get up as she collecting her stuff.
They stood facing each other.
What more could she say to this man? So, she merely smiled. He smiled back, seemed like he's also lost for words.
After a while, he nodded. She exhaled and turned around. Walking away from him.
Before joining the check-in line, she couldn't help but to stop and look back.
He already disappeared in the crowd.