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Today was his birthday.
She invited him to tea as she always had.
Serving Almyran pine needle tea as she always had.
Sitting across from him as she always had.
But he was so young now. Not the man with graying hair and crow's feet she had left behind. And she was back to her deep blue hair, knowing that she would go back to the goddess green in the near future.
It was selfish of her to do this. To continue to seek his attention when they were on different paths now. But she would always remember she chose him first. And the choice was not wrong. How could it be? She knew it was the best version of Fodlan she would see and experience and she was so endlessly grateful that she got to live through it all with Claude by her side.
"I know you're intense, teach, but you gotta stop staring," he said it with a smile, his little lopsided smirk that made her want to cry because she missed him so much. But she always excelled at hiding her thoughts, her emotions. She could cry later, like she had on her first night back to this era. She didn't think it would be so hard to see everyone again.
"I'm sorry, Claude," she took a deep breath and tried again. "Happy birthday. I hope this is okay?"
He made a noise of disbelief, one she knew well, something he always did when she was being too modest. "Are you kidding me? It's great! I've never had this tea before, but I think it might be my favorite."
Byleth smiled back at him. She knew it was his favorite. It was still his favorite in the future. It was the last thing he drank before he died. She wished she could erase it all. "Hmm, lucky guess."
"Nah, you're something else, teach." He grabbed a small cookie off the plate in between them, glancing away in thought.
She could hear it in his voice, he was beginning to be genuine with her. Again. What was she doing?
"I think you made a mistake when you didn't pick Golden Deer house." His eyes twinkled in mischief, but he kept his gaze on her waiting for a response.
She didn't know what to say. It was so hard to tell Rhea that she wanted to teach the Black Eagles house. It was impossibly difficult because she knew every single person in Golden Deer and they were all still her close friends in the future, still so hopeful and good. Of course she wanted to do it all over again.
But she made a promise to her Claude. Not this Claude before her, but the Claude that was her husband, the Claude she grew old with, the Claude that united Fodlan and Almyra. Her Claude. As his life ebbed away, she told him that she would go back, turn back the world and try again. Try for less bloodshed, try for less death, try to keep the students of Garreg Mach from slaughtering each other.
So here she was, trying again. Staring back at the boy who would become the man who united the world. And she knew what to say. "I didn't pick Golden Deer house because they already have a great leader. You don't need me."
Those words held so much more meaning to her. You don't need me. She couldn't be selfish, she couldn't tell him that maybe she needed him. Because she knew Claude could still change the world without her.
He was quiet for a second, waiting for her to finish the joke. When nothing followed he stretched and chuckled, trying to diffuse the seriousness of Byleth's words. "I think you're just imagining things, teach."
"No, you have something that Dimitri and Edelgard don't," she paused to lean back in her chair, to give Claude room to breathe, to not scare him away. "And that's going to get you so much farther, Claude."
"Hmm. I'll think about that." He didn't seem entirely convinced, but his eyes softened as he looked at Byleth, betraying how pleased he was at the compliment.
She smiled back. Even if she couldn't be his professor, advisor, or confidant, she would at least try to prop him up in any way she could. She wasn't strong enough to deny herself that.
"Well, thanks for the birthday tea." Claude got up, snatching a few cookies in his hand for later. "I'll see you later."
"Yeah." Just a wave, a friendly goodbye. She wondered if it would get easier. But Byleth acknowledged that it was the pain that kept her memories alive, even if their timeline didn't exist anymore.