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Danny smirked as he clicked on the blue hyperlink. Billionaire Brucie is Batman. Danny supposed that it made sense. If Wes Weston had made a blog outing the identity of a small-time hero like Phantom, of course, there were conspiracy blogs that had actually managed to clock B.
He'd have to thank Jason for sending the link his way.
Wes's 'Fenton is Phantom blog' used logic. It pointed out that Danny was an idiot when he was fourteen. He used his first name for both identities, both forms looked similar, and Fenton and Phantom sounded alike. He didn't have proof beyond "it makes sense."
As far as Danny knew, B had been much better about keeping his identities separate. So, where had he messed up? Someone would need proof to think that B was both Batman and Bruce, wouldn't they?
The screen lit up hot pink. Neon-green words filled the page. Brucie is Batman: A Blog of the most Bootilicious Behind in Gotham.
Wait. What?
Hundreds of pictures of B's ass filled the screen, in and out of costume. Despite himself, and somewhat horrified, Danny clicked on a tab called "The Butts Match."
Side-by-side photos of B in identical poses as Bruce and Batman.
Danny laughed and shoved himself back from the computer. Jesus. People really will write about anything, won't they?
And yet.
They were right, weren't they?
How the Hell did they figure that out from a couple of pictures?
Danny leaned forward towards the computer again, nearly pressing his face against the glass as he stared at the pictures side by side. He scrolled for several minutes before he came to a firm conclusion.
The butts did not match.
At all.
Was everything Danny knew a lie? B was Batman, wasn't he? Danny had seen him and talked to him in and out of costume. He was in the man's house! He'd notice if the man weren't really Batman, wouldn't he?
Danny stood up with an irritated huff. There was only one way to get to the bottom of this.
He stalked across the hall and banged a fist against the door. "Dick! I need to talk to you about something."
The door swung open, revealing a tall, grinning man. "What's up, Baby-Ghost?"
"I was talking with Jason, and I need help."
"What did he do?" Dick asked, the bright grin sliding from his face.
"Nothing!" Danny assured. "Just come with me. It'll be easier to show you than to try and explain." Danny grabbed Dick and dragged him back across the hall to his own room.
The older boy's eyes flicked across the room before landing on the still-open computer screen. He promptly burst out laughing and doubled over.
"Are you okay?" Danny poked him worriedly.
"Just...just a minute-" Dick howled. "Jay-Jaybird showed you the butt blog?"
Danny nodded solemnly. "Yeah. And I know it says that the Butts match, but they don't." That sent Dick off laughing again, and Danny groaned. "Bruce is Batman, right?"
"Oh, Kid." The man wiped a tear from his eye and straightened up. "You're too precious. Yes, B is Batman."
"Then why don't the butts match?"
Dick grinned wickedly. "You need to keep this a secret, okay, Little Spook? You can't tell anyone I told you this." Danny nodded his promise and leaned forward. Dick's voice dropped to a hushed whisper. "B... pads the ass of the Batsuit."
Danny blinked at him in confusion. "But-but why would he do that?"
Dick let out a childish giggle and pointed at the screen. "Since he found out about that! He's been padding his suit for over ten years now!"
Danny's lips twitched into a grin as he stared at the screen. That was funny. B was concerned enough about his identity to obscure his ass in pictures because of one silly blog?
A thought hit Danny across the face. "Wait- but if the butts haven't matched in that long, why does the blog keep posting? Shouldn't they have 'realized' that they were wrong and see that the pictures don't match?"
"It's time for you to be let in on an important secret- one that not even B knows about. Can you handle it?" The abrupt change from humor to seriousness in Dick's voice was nearly enough to give Danny whiplash.
"I can. I promise."
Dick leaned back close. "There seems to be a strange... coincidence with the posts. Every time B forgets family dinner or upsets one of the kids, another post appears. When he makes an ass of himself...well..." He looked pointedly towards the ass blog.
Oh shit. That meant- "You're the blogger that-"
Dick's hand firmly covered Danny's mouth before he could finish the sentence, and he grinned at the younger boy. "Best not to say things out loud in the house like that."
Danny eyed Dick carefully, reassessing everything he knew about the boy. B's golden child. His first Robin. The perfect sunshine child.
The boy who had apparently been screwing with Batman since he was 13.
A slow grin crept over Danny's face. "So, if, hypothetically, I had a few ideas that a blogger could use to fuck with B...?"
Dick smirked back. "That's the spirit! We'll make a Bat-kid out of you yet, Baby-Ghost."
Below, in the Batcave, B felt an unexplainable chill across his spine.