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It starts, as many things do, when Raphaella has an idea for an experiment.
As the Aurora’s science officer, her immortal life revolves around her research. However, as a Mechanism and crew member, her opportunities have been steadily dwindling. Namely, for her research in biology.
Ever since the others had to sit her down and tell her they “didn't want her to experiment on them randomly” and “needed to give their consent first” and that she “needed to be upfront about what she's doing” she hadn't had very many chances to do any proper biological research when they weren't planetside. Any research that was real fun, anyway.
Well, all that aside, she does have a new idea. One that the others might actually agree with.
She has the idea while reading with Ivy in one of the little nooks in her library. It's not a particularly rare occasion– Ivy’s got a lot of good research books.
As it happens, she's thumbing through a small book of birds, sprawled across Ivy’s legs as she reads one of her own large encyclopedias. As Raph’s mind wanders, so do her eyes, and they find Ivy’s gaze, unbroken and focused.
She looks lovely like this, Raph thinks. Then her eyes travel slowly downwards…
And the idea forms.
“Ivy?” she asks. The person in question hums distractedly.
Embarrassingly, Raph feels herself growing warm at the thought of asking, but she doesn't know why. Science isn't embarrassing. She clears her throat. “May I, er… Could I–”
Ivy’s eyes snap up in an instant. “Is this for an experiment? Because you have to tell us if it's an experiment, or Aurora will tell Nastya and we each get to shoot you at least once per reform for breaking the rules–”
“Alright, yes, I know!” Raph is sitting up now, her face oddly pink. She sighs, “I… well, it is for an experiment.”
Ivy’s eyes narrow for a moment, then drift off as she considers, then close as she lets out a sigh of her own. “Okay,” she concedes. “You can perform your experiment.”
Raph blinks. “Really?”
Ivy shrugs. “Yeah, why not. Nothing interesting has happened lately, and I’m 59% sure nothing interesting will happen soon.”
“Oh. Okay.” Raphaella definitely isn't used to people agreeing so quickly. She shuffles closer, and Ivy sets aside her large tome. “Um… you should close your eyes, I think.”
Ivy’s expression turns wary again. “Why?”
“Well, that's how it's normally conducted. I don't want to muck up the process.”
Ivy sighs again, long and weary. “Alright…” Her eyes slip shut, but her hand drifts towards her gun. “But I'll take the necessary measures if I have to.”
“Right, of course.” Raphaella’s voice goes soft as she leans in, closer, closer…
When she kisses Ivy, she experiences all the expected symptoms: heart racing, increase in body heat, an inexplicable burst of feeling in her chest.
Ivy makes a small, surprised noise and immediately moves to clamber into Raph’s lap, winding her arms around Raph’s shoulders and deepening the kiss and– hold on–
“Ivy– mmph–” Raph mumbles, trying to pull away from her suddenly very determined lapful of librarian. “Ivy, hold on–”
Of course. The Mechanisms, no stranger to boredom and no friend to boundaries, have had sex on multiple occasions, with multiple combinations of the crew members. (Barring Nastya, of course. She's really only comfortable doing that with Aurora.) (And not Jonny, when he's not in a favorable mood.) (And not Nastya and Jonny. Gross.) She hadn't considered this variable…
Unfortunately, Ivy looks a bit put out. “What's wrong?”
“Ah, just…” Raph shifts, and Ivy starts to pull back, but Raph keeps her arms around her waist to stop her from moving too far, looking imploringly into her eyes. “I just wanted us to… to kiss? Without… further advancement.”
Raph doesnt know why she's quite so nervous about this– perhaps a side effect of the increase in adrenaline– but, thankfully, Ivy’s eyes widen in understanding. “Ohh, alright. For the… experiment?”
Well, Raph doesn't know why she said it like that, but relief floods through her regardless. “Yes, for the experiment.”
Then, Ivy starts to blush. It's… it's very nice on her, Raph decides. “Ohh,” Ivy breathes. “Alright, I see.”
She’s the one that leans in next, and… Raph feels… very good about it. There's no other way to phrase it that won't make her sound unprofessional, especially since her entire mind has turned to mush and all she can really think is Ivy and closer . Though how she's going to get any closer in her lap, Raph doesn't know.
Clearly, there's quite a bit about kissing like this that Raph doesn't know about. But that's what experiments are for.
Although this method is relatively new to them, it still takes them a while to pull away. As Ivy presses their foreheads together, Raph can't help but consider this a success. But she still feels… unsatisfied, somehow. “Hm.”
Ivy pulls back, tilting her head. “Hm?” She looks a little worried.
“I'm… not sure I've gotten all the results I need, is all.”
“Oh!” Ivy smiles, relieved. “I thought– ah, nevermind. That's alright, you can go… experiment on everyone else if you'd like.”
Raph doesn't think she needs Ivy’s permission, but accepts it anyway. She smiles back. “I guess I will.”
“Oh– wait!” Ivy protests as Raph begins to move away. She moves back with a confused hum. “Could we at least finish what we started? It's not nice to leave someone waiting like that…”
Raph grins, bringing Ivy with her as she stands in lieu of a response. Watching Ivy’s satisfied smile as she carries her off, Raph wonders how best to approach the rest of the Mechanisms with this experiment.
-
The next day, Raph decides her next best bet is Nastya. At the very least, to get her approval before commencing. At the most, to get another trial.
“Nastya?” she calls, peeking her head into a vent. She's mostly just wandering the hallways, unsure of where to actually find Nastya. She pokes her head in a bit farther, raising her voice. “Nastya?”
“What?”
Raph jumps, whirling around and nearly knocking Nastya over with her outspread wings. “Oh! Hi.”
“Hi.” Nastya reaches out a hand, helping Raphaella up. “Why were you calling for me?”
“Well,” Raph starts, clapping her hands together, “I'm doing an experiment– don't get out your gun! I already started out with Ivy, but… I need more results. Soo…”
Nastya archly raises a brow, and Raph can feel every bit the royal that Nastya used to be looking down on her. (Even though Raph’s got a couple inches on her.) “So you're asking me to participate?”
“If it's alright with you? And Aurora?”
Raph hears a curious whirr as a screen behind them flickers to life.
WHY DO YOU NEED MY PERMISSION?
“Well… I, uh…” Raph’s wings flutter a bit in nervousness and she begins to twist round her fingers. “You see, I’d need to kiss you.”
Nastya’s eyebrows raise in surprise. But she doesn't look like she's opposing. “I– ah–”
Aurora’s screen glitches for a moment. Then, it reads: DO I GET A KISS?? ^-^
Nastya’s cheeks turn faintly silver. “Aurora!”
THAT IS A REASONABLE QUESTION. .-.
“Um–” Raph starts, pausing at the sudden attention when Nastya looks back at her. “I’ll only do it if it's alright with both of you, yeah?”
Nastya stays quiet for another moment. She’s clearly been taken off-guard but other than that her expression is unreadable. “Nothing else? Just a kiss?”
“Just a kiss.”
“For an… experiment?”
Why did Ivy and Nastya say it like that?? “Yes, for an experiment.”
Aurora whirrs and hums something that Raph can't understand, but Nastya nods decisively. “Okay.” She marches over and tugs Raph down into a firm kiss.
Even though the angle isn't quite right– Nastya’s nose and glasses are pressing into Raphaella’s face– Raph feels the same burst of emotion she felt after kissing Ivy. The advantage of standing up means she can take note of the way her knees go a bit wobbly and how she feels just the slightest bit dizzy. Her hands fly up, cupping Nastya’s face.
When she pulls away, she also notes that Nastya is clearly blushing. Just like Ivy. It must be a common thread. “Thank you,” Raph says, her lips stupid and loose for the first few moments they're separated from another pair.
Nastya blinks in surprise and confusion, then smiles a bit. “Yeah,” she says gently. “No problem.”
Aurora gives an insistent whirr-bzz-hum. MY TURN >:(
Raphaella laughs. “Alright, alright.” She steps forward. She steps back. “Nastya, how do I…”
“Oh, um.” Nastya waves a hand, the other gently covering her mouth. “Anywhere works.”
RIGHT HERE x <3 !!
Raph can't help another laugh bubbling up from her chest. Nastya all flustered and Aurora so adorably excited… it's very good data, for sure. She steps up and happily kisses right over the x on the screen.
Even with Aurora’s lack of humanoid form or lips, Raphaella can feel the waves of happiness practically rolling off of her. When she pulls away and opens her eyes, the screen before her– and all the screens she can see– are happily displaying ‘ !!! ’s and ‘ <3 ’s and ‘ :D ’s.
Raph can see Nastya smiling, too, out of the corner of her eye, happy seeing the joy of her love. “Well?” Raph asks.
Nastya turns to her. “Well what?”
“Do I have permission to continue the experiment?”
Nastya smiles fondly. Aurora displays, YES!!!
“Yes,” Nastya echoes, threading her fingers through Raph’s, and oh, if that doesn't make her feel just as lovely and fluttery as a kiss. Strange. But… nice. Very nice. She tucks the thought away for later.
-
Raph doesn't have a real plan for finding the next test subject, but as she wanders the ship, she can hear the faint sounds of someone wailing on the harmonica.
She smiles to herself. Looks like Jonny’s next.
She follows the noise to the kitchen, where the first mate himself is happily throwing his entire being into a prolonged harmonica solo while a spettle sits on the stove. She has to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention and not laugh at him when he jumps because being shot would throw a stone in the experimental process.
“Oh, Raphaella,” Jonny says once he recovers, shoving his harmonica away. He gives her that rakish grin that means he's in a good mood. “What can I do for you?”
He leans back, idly kicking his feet where they hover above the floor, and Raphaella has to physically force herself not to smile or call it cute. For science, she tells herself. “I'm running an experiment– don't get out your gun, I already got permission from Nastya, can I ask for your input? It's all up to you, of course.”
Jonny raises an eyebrow. (He can't actually raise an eyebrow, but he's doing the face that he thinks means he's raising an eyebrow, stay quiet, Raphaella, come on, you're so close. ) “What makes you think I'll let you experiment on me just ‘cause Nastya said so?”
“‘Cause she makes the rules?”
“I'm the captain!”
She opens her mouth to argue, but she really needs results, so she shuts it again with a click. “Listen, you don't have to–”
“No, I want to,” Jonny says defiantly, sitting up straighter, jutting out his chin. “What are you gonna do? Cut me open? Take off my limbs?”
“I'm going to kiss you,” Raph tells him. It's getting easier to say.
Jonny practically bluescreens. “Uh.”
Raph holds her hands up, ready to walk away. “Again, it's up to you–”
“No, no, uh.” Jonny blinks and shakes his head, as if trying to process. “You're not– not asking for a shag?”
Raph wrinkles her nose at the wording but shakes her head. “No.”
“Just a kiss?”
“Yes, just a kiss.” At least he's not saying ‘experiment’ strangely. Is it really so unbelievable to everyone that she might want to kiss them? Even for science? Especially for science!
“O-kay.” Jonny closes his eyes expectantly. Raph places a hand against the counter on either side of him, and leans in.
When she kisses him, he tenses up for a second. Then he absolutely melts.
He makes a little noise in the back of his throat, bringing a hand up to curl protectively around the back of Raphaella's neck. His legs twine around her waist, ankles crossing at her back, keeping her close.
It's entirely far too adorable. Raph can't seem to help her own reactions– her arm coming to rest across Jonny’s back, palm pressed against his side, as her wings come up around them; like she's trying to protect them, to keep this moment hidden away. She catalogues this under previously unexpected reactions and notes that the recurring ones are still present.
Then the spettle goes off with a loud whistle, startling them apart. Raph recovers first and is closer to the stove, so she whirls around and switches it off.
When she turns back, she has to stop herself from doing a double take.
Jonny is looking at her with wide, sparkling eyes. Like she's his favorite star, or his favorite gun, or his favorite research paper, or– for a fleeting moment, maybe– like she's his favorite . It sets off a fluttery feeling in her stomach. “Um,” she manages, “thank you.”
Jonny’s eyes widen slightly and he turns away, blushing and grumbling. Ah, there's the Jonny she knows. “No problem, whatever, it was just a kiss…”
She smiles to herself and turns to leave, but she hears Jonny pipe up before she can. “...Raph?”
“Yeah?” she asks, turning back.
He's still not looking at her, but his expression is soft again, and he's curled in on himself, just a bit, fiddling with the hem of his vest. If Raph didn't know better, she'd say he actually looks shy. “Do you, uh… want some tea? I've been getting some tips from the Toy Soldier…”
Raph allows herself a small smile. The fluttering is back. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”
-
Raph can hear idle whistling from the armory, and she guesses her next subject is hiding away in there. Sure enough, Tim is sitting on the floor, cleaning out a gun. He looks up at the sound of her footsteps, greeting her with a smile. “Hello, Raphaella.”
“Hi, Tim.” Raph smiles back. She joins Tim on the floor, leaning against the wall. “Could you help me out with something?”
Tim looks a little suspicious, but he still sets everything down and dusts off his sooty hands. “What is it?”
“Well,” Raph brings her knees up to her chest, picking at the lint on her pants, “I need you to promise not to shoot me first.”
Tim’s eyebrows raise in alarm, and Raph backtracks, waving her hands: “It's not like you'd need to! But that's everyone’s first instinct and dying would make things inconvenient so I really need you to promise not to kill me…”
The explanation is futile; Tim’s face twists up more and more as she speaks. “Oh, no, you're not doing an experiment, are you?” He looks like he's about to start running.
Raph groans, burying her face in her hands. “Yeah… But it doesn't involve anything sharp, I promise!”
Tim gives her a look of scrutiny, scanning her for weapons or dissection tools. Raph huffs, turning out her pockets and setting aside her gun. And her knife. And her emergency dissection kit, which isn't even needed right now, but who knows? Somewhat satisfied, he acquiesces. “Alright… what is it?”
“I'd just have to kiss you. That's all it is, promise.”
The second the words leave her mouth, Tim looks more filled with dread than when he thought she was just going to cut him open. “Oh,” he says weakly.
“I'm not going to force you, of course,” she adds, noting his hesitation. “You're welcome to back out. Or so I have to say, according to Nastya.” When Tim lets out a little laugh, Raph allows herself a smile. “Or because I want to say, since I do care about you all sometimes.”
Tim turns and returns her smile, then– a soft, sad thing, and Raph tries not to show how startling it is to see that kind of feeling on his face. “Sorry,” he says, and Raph has to further hide her surprise at a genuine sounding apology. “It's not you. It's just been a while.”
Raph rests her head on her knees, wrapping her arms around them. “What do you mean?”
“Since I've kissed someone, I s’pose.” Tim goes back to his gun, putting the pieces back together methodically as he talks so he has something to do with his hands. “Just to kiss them, anyway. Haven't had a reason to for… a long time.”
Oh. Of course. Tim didn't have a song about cutting bloody paths through an army for nothing. Raph can metaphorically feel her heart breaking a bit, watching his face fall like that. The guilt– something she hasn't felt in quite some time now– makes her feel a bit sick. “I'm… so sorry, Tim.” She moves to stand. “I didn't mean to–”
“No!” Tim startles the both of them with his volume, throwing a hand out to prevent Raph from leaving. She sits back down. “Wait,” he tries again, softer, “I… I want to. Been meaning to get back into it at some point.”
“Okay,” Raph says softly with a nod.
Tim tugs at the sleeves on his coat, and Raph stays put, waiting for him to take the initiative this time. As lawless as their little crew is, they're not monsters– they'd never force themselves on anyone like that. With weapons, sure, but with their bodies? That's just evil. Objectively.
As Raph contemplates the collective moral code of the Aurora, Tim seems to realize that she's leaving this up to him. She only notices this because her train of thought is derailed (can she say that now that they have Lyf onboard?) by Tim reaching over and gently guiding her by the chin to face him. She lets her eyes drift shut. She hears him shuffle closer.
…well, she doesn't know what Tim might have implied about being out of practice. It's quick, but it's soft and gentle and kind, somehow, which are not typically words associated with a man named after gunpowder.
When they pull away, they're both nominally surprised and pink in the face.
“...could we try again?” Tim asks.
Raphaella nods, smiling. “Of course,” she says. “Extra trials. Besides, how else are you going to practice?”
Tim rolls his eyes fondly, and they're both smiling when they lean back in.
-
Raph bumps into the Toy Soldier just a few moments after leaving the armory. Admittedly, she may still be in a bit of a daze. Really, she didn't even hear its tap shoes clicking down the hall? “Oh– sorry, Toy Soldier.”
“No Worries, Miss Cognizi!” It chirps, smiling at her. “Is There Anything I Can Help You With? I Heard You're Performing An Experiment!”
“What?” Raphaella startles. “How do you already know that? Who told you?”
“I Can't Tell You That, I'm Afraid!”
It continues to grin at her, and she sighs. Someone must have told it then ordered it not to reveal themself. Hopefully the remaining subjects knowing about the experiment won't skew her results… “I guess you can help me if you'd like.”
“Wonderful! What Can I Do?”
Raph smiles at it. “Can I kiss you?”
Surprisingly, it completely stills, eyes wide and arms stiffly at its sides. Usually, it can't bother to stay still unless it's awaiting orders or pretending to sleep. She wonders if the Toy Soldier would blush if the paint on its wood could change color.
“Toy Soldier?” She tries, gently nudging its shoulder. “Are you alright?”
“I…” It thinks for a moment. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, You Can Kiss Me. But Only On The Cheek, Please.”
It closes its eyes, tilting its face to the side with a hopeful little smile. Raph leans down, pressing a kiss to its cheek, reveling– er, taking careful note of the emotion blooming within her yet again. Seems like the feeling doesn't really let up, even after a few tries.
When she pulls away, Toy Soldier remains in place. “...are you alright?” She asks it again. “Was that okay?”
It nods. “Yes, It Was! I… I Think I Am Pretending To Feel A Lot Of Things, And They Are Difficult To Sort Out.”
“Take your time,” Raph encourages. Oh, this is perfect! If she can get the Toy Soldier to tell her what it's feeling, it'll be incredible data. “You can tell me when you've sorted it out, if you'd like.”
It thinks for another moment. “I Think… I Am Feeling Quite Happy That We Have Done That. And Also A Little Sad That We Had Not Done So Sooner. And…”
“And?” Raph asks, trying not to sound too eager.
It looks down at its chest, putting a hand there. “I Think I Feel Lots Of Strange Things Here.” The hand moves to its stomach. “And Here.”
“Strange,” Raph echoes, pressing a hand to her own stomach, remembering how she's felt with every trial. “Does it feel like… like a fluttering? Or a pull?”
Toy Soldier nods. “Yes! It’s Strange, Right? I Have Not Felt All That In A Long Time.”
Raph tilts her head. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, It's Nothing! I Would Prefer To Feel This Way With You Than…” It trails off.
“Toy Soldier? Are you alright?”
It thinks for another moment. “Yes,” it decides, nodding. “I Like It More When I Decide To Show Affection. And When You Feel The Same About Me.” It nods again, more decisively. “I Am Feeling Wonderful, Miss Cognizi.”
Raph smiles, mentally taking note of all this. “Thank you, Toy Soldier.”
“No Problem!” It grins back at her. “Can We Do That More Often Now?”
Raph’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Oh! Um, sure, if you'd like.”
“Thank You!” It lifts up on its toes, then, pressing its face to Raph’s cheek as though to repay the favor. It happily taps away, leaving Raph gently touching her cheek, a fond warmth spreading through her chest.
-
It's coming on the closest thing they have to night in the Aurora when Raph looks for her remaining subjects.
Aurora hums around her as she pads back to her room, going through all the notes in her head. She’ll write them down when she gets back to her lab. One screen flickers on as she passes. GOODNIGHT RAPHAELLA! :)
Raph smiles, pressing a hand to the screen. “Thanks, Aurora.”
ARE YOU FINISHED WITH YOUR EXPERIMENT? •-•
“I should be for now, yeah. I don't think anyone else is around…”
BRIAN IS IN THE KITCHEN! YOU COULD ASK HIM. :]
Raph hums thoughtfully. “Yeah, I s’pose I could. Oh– is he Nice Brian?”
A beat passes. YES! :D
“Should I ask how you found that out?”
NO! :D
“Alright.” Raph smiles. “Thanks, Aurora.”
Aurora hums back, but as Raph starts to leave, she begins an insistent whirr. Raph looks back at the screen, flickering to get her attention.
WAIT!! *.*
“What?”
x <3
Raph feels her face get a bit warm. “Are you… asking for a kiss?”
YES! x <3
She laughs incredulously. Alright, she thinks, stepping up to the screen. Is wanting more kisses an unintended side effect?
She kisses the x on the screen again, and feels that same wave of happiness emanating from Aurora as she did the first time. She pulls away and tries to walk off again, but there’s a tug at her leg preventing her from doing so. She looks down and sees that a wire has wrapped itself around her ankle.
“Aurora!” Raph protests lightly. “I have to get to Brian before he leaves!”
HE WILL BE THERE A WHILE! >:|
“Aurora, come on,” Raph starts to giggle. “I'm still with you. I'm not going to jump out of the airlock with my research half complete.”
With a sound suspiciously like a huff, the wire falls. Raph presses a hand to the screen in thanks, then continues down the hall to the kitchen.
…it is strange, though. Why would Aurora ask her for another kiss? She already has Nastya to fulfill that need. Is it really a side effect? Will people typically want more kisses after a first? No one else has sought her out yet, but then again, it's a bit difficult to hide from Aurora on Aurora.
She shakes her head. Keeping Aurora happy is important. That's all. She has more work to do.
She peers around the doorway to see Brian standing at the counter, a few small containers in front of him, dodging some of Aurora’s wires trying to prod at his side.
“What are you doing, Aurora?” He laughs, lightly swatting them away. One turns towards Raph, snaking towards her and grabbing her hand. It tugs her forward, and the sound of her footsteps draws Brian’s attention. “Oh– hi, Raph.”
He's wearing comfort clothes: socks, pajama shorts, and a soft shirt he'd gotten one Birthday-Day that reads “Universe’s Falsest Prophet”.
“Hi, Brian.” Raph stretches her wings and arms, taking a seat at the counter. “What are you doing?”
Brian looks a little sheepish. “Oh, you know,” he shrugs. “Just… food prepping.”
Raph smiles gratefully at him. Everyone gets so caught up in the research or the reading or the killing or what have you, and they don't particularly need to eat, but it is still nice to eat together. When they can't, Brian occasionally takes it upon himself to make meals for everyone to make up for the fact that they're apart. Sometimes the Toy Soldier helps, when it's not busy. It's probably the most consistent form of care the Mechanisms get, aside from their at-least-monthly cuddle pile.
“That's sweet of you,” she says, that same strange fondness pushing the words from her mouth. But Brian grins, so she guesses it's alright. “Could you help me out with something?” she asks.
“Sure,” Brian says, turning away from his work. “I guess Aurora made me take a break anyway.”
Raph looks around. The wires have suddenly disappeared. Convenient. “Well, I'm running an experiment–”
“Oh, no,” Brian groans.
“It's fine! Nastya-approved and everything. I've already gotten a few of the others to help me out.” Raph forgot how tiring the spiel gets when doing a ship-wide experiment. She almost wishes she'd made written contracts again… but, no, Ashes burned them all last time without so much as a glance.
“...fine,” Brian reluctantly agrees. “What is it?”
Raph sits up straighter. “Will you kiss me?” she asks, bluntly. Maybe asking will get a better response than just telling them…
But, no, Brian gives rather the same reaction– possibly even more of a reaction: eyes going wide, shoulders tensing, even stammering. “I– ah– you– you're–?”
“You don't have to,” she tells him with an over-the-top sigh, leaning towards the counter and propping her head up on her hands. “I can't force you anymore.”
Brian shakes himself out of his surprise, laughing a bit. “Right– um, okay…” He steps forward, and Raph sits up again so their faces are more level. He still has to lean down, though, fucking speanstalk, and his hair falls over their faces like a curtain.
It's always a little startling when Raph remembers how warm Brian is, and that's no exception now. He lets out a slow breath through his nose, air fanning over Raph’s cheeks, his hands coming up to gently cup her face, pulling her closer. Raph finds herself humming into it, placing a hand on Brian's chest. She can feel his heart pounding behind his metal plating.
They come apart slowly, and Brian leaves another parting kiss on the corner of Raph’s mouth. Like he doesn't want to leave her too quickly. Similar to Jonny, he takes a moment to simply look at her, starry-eyed and sweet. “...thank you,” he breathes after a moment.
Raph doesn't know why, but she has to remind herself not to move other than to nod and thank him in return. She leaves with a quick goodbye and thanks some theory or other that all he gives her back is a fond, exasperated smile.
You've only got a few trials left, Raphaella, she tells herself. It's just for research. It's fine. I'm fine.
She’s back at her lab before she knows it, and she grabs the notebook she's most recently been filling out. She jots down all the notes she's been sorting in her mind, feeling herself relax as she does so.
This is where she's comfortable. Research, notes, impersonality. This is what she knows.
But she's trying to figure out what she doesn't. And she loves figuring things out…
…no matter. She finishes up a quick chart, keeping the empty spaces in mind, and sets the notebook aside for later. Then, she washes off her makeup, changes into her pajamas, and flies up to her little sleeping nook. There's two octokittens tangled up together in the corner of her bed, lightly snoring.
“Aurora,” she calls, “could you turn the lights off, please?”
With a gentle hum, she does so.
“Thank you.”
A cable falls from the ceiling and wraps itself around her hand. She holds onto it as she drifts into sleep.
-
Raph yawns as she pads her way down to the dining hall for breakfast. It should be nice– they've only started the tradition back up recently, seeing as their mood has been steadily improving for the past week or so. Unrelated to the kisses– that was only yesterday. She still has to track down Ashes, Lyf (if they're comfortable– it's only just passed a decade since them joining, after all), and–
Marius bumps her with his hip while she's distracted. “Hey, it's my favorite mad scientist!”
Raph giggles, shoving him lightly. “Good morning, not-a-doctor.”
“Rude.” Marius smiles. “Hey, I have a question.”
Raph sighs. “Your propositioning by getting me to agree to ‘study anatomy’ only worked once. What is it now?”
“Eh, it's similar.” He suddenly moves in front of her, stopping her in her tracks, a grin on his face. “What's this I've been hearing about an experiment?”
Raph’s face immediately goes hot. “I– I started that yesterday, how did you–?”
Marius shrugs, still grinning. “A little birdie told me. And not you, birdie, although I would've liked to hear it from you first.”
“I… well, I was going to, I just–”
Marius actually looks surprised for a second. Why? Of course he was going to be included in a ship-wide experiment. That's the point of ship-wide. “Oh,” he says. “Uh… Wow, really?” Raph nods. “Huh,” he says softly. “Alright.”
Raph huffs slightly, crossing her arms. She's aware the effect may be a little weakened by the fact that she's still in her pajamas, but so is Marius, so… “Since you seem well aware of what the experiment is, why not just do your trial now?”
“Oh,” Marius says again. He actually looks a little embarrassed. Is he blushing? Huh. How the tables turn. “That's– that's fine by me. Go right ahead.”
Rolling her eyes, Raph steps forward and tugs him into a kiss by the collar of his shirt. Funnily enough, the effects feel much the same, but she still hasn't gotten bored of them quite yet.
She feels Marius tense up a bit in surprise before recovering quickly, readily wrapping his arms securely around her waist. He seems… surprisingly eager. It's quite sweet, actually.
An involuntary, muffled sound of surprise escapes her when Marius pulls her close, then twirls her around, and she wraps her arms tightly around his shoulders before she's even realized she's been pulled into a dip. Honestly, considering this is Marius, she probably should have seen it coming, but it takes her off guard nonetheless.
He pulls away while still holding her above the ground, her wingtips brushing the floor. She can see in his face the second he realizes what he's doing. “Ah– sorry,” he says quickly, setting her upright and stepping back. “I got a little carried away.”
“Uh– no worries,” Raph amends, recovering quickly. “Come on. I'm hungry.”
She shoves her way in front of him playfully, making him laugh and try to race her to the mess hall. They practically trip over each other trying to squeeze through the doorway at the same time, then almost take down Jonny, who happens to be closest.
“Fuck, watch it–” he barks, freezing when he turns around. Little splotches of pink rise on his cheeks when he catches sight of Raph. “Oh. Hi.”
“Morning, first mate,” Raph greets, ruffling his hair fondly.
Jonny only halfheartedly grumbles before stepping away. Marius pouts. “How come she can get away with calling you first mate when you always come after me for it?”
Jonny shoves him hard, causing him to sputter out a laugh and lunge back at him, but neither of them really seem to be intent on hurting each other. In fact, they're both grinning.
Ah, well. She shrugs, walking off to grab her serving. And maybe some of theirs.
When she walks up to the servings table– it's spancakes today– she suddenly finds herself being whirled around, and a pair of lips is being pressed to hers.
She lets out a muffled, confused noise before registering the shock of dark hair threatening to fall into her eyes and the faint taste of smoke.
Ashes pulls away, grinning. “For your little experiment, yeah?”
“Uh.” Raphaella says intelligently. “Um. Yeah?”
“Brilliant.” They give her one last peck before walking away with the plate she was preparing herself. She doesn't even register it until she's been standing there for about a minute. Her face is practically on fire when she actually sits down to eat.
“Raph?” Tim says from across the table, smiling knowingly. He points to his own mouth, “You've got a little something.”
She wipes at her mouth with her fingertips, examining the crimson they come away with. Ashes’s lipstick. Right. She must look as disgruntled as she feels, because everyone takes the opportunity to snicker a little.
Funnily enough, everyone seems to be chatting amicably this morning. Usually, they can't walk away from their first meal without at least two disagreements or one full blown shouting match, and that's on good days. Strange.
Even stranger, Lyf keeps shooting Raph looks while everyone eats. (And talks . And smiles . Peacefully .) The looks are indiscernible, but most of their expressions are. Marius has already done their fair share of trying to psychoanalyze them, leading to Lyf’s first kill.
But they just… keep looking at her. Strangely. Almost expectantly. And they only hold her gaze for a second before looking away.
Weird.
After their meal, when they all break up to do their own things, everyone still seems strangely calm. Brian gives her hand a quick squeeze to say goodbye, Nastya smiles at her warmly, and the Toy Soldier bumps its face into hers the way it promised to do. She walks back to her lab feeling… warmer. Fuller, almost, and not just because she'd eaten. Like the feeling had settled itself in her chest.
She's trying to figure out a way to phrase that scientifically, tapping her pen against her lab table, when the door swings open and slams against the wall.
Lyf storms in, all you need to have a commanding presence, but how does that make you feel, Inspector, and slams their hands down on the table in front of Raph, leaning over it to look her dead in the eye, demanding– with a slight note of embarrassment, Raph notes– “How come you've kissed everyone but me?”
As calmly as she can, Raph closes her notebook and slides it away. This isn't even the strangest thing someone’s asked of her, and yet, it makes her bones feel like plasma. She knows from experience. “What?”
“You–” Lyf huffs, clearly unwilling to repeat their question, and crosses their arms, glancing away. Their brown skin isn’t dark enough to conceal their deep blush. “You've been… going around, kissing everyone, so– just– I don't know.” They scuff the floor with their boot.
There's silence for a moment as it becomes apparent that Lyf isn't planning on finishing their sentence. “...if it makes you feel any better,” Raph says, “I was going to get to you.”
Lyf’s eyes snap up to hers, strange and iridescent and probably hiding colors that Tim could see if he ate shrimp. “Really?”
“Yes? It's– I'm running a ship-wide experiment, so it does involve everyone on the ship.”
“Oh.” Lyf thinks for a moment, their gaze sliding away again. “Alright.”
They stay standing there, arms crossed and looking only slightly more like they actually want to be there, so Raph takes the initiative to hop up onto the table and swing her legs over the other side. “Well?” she asks, nudging their hip with her foot.
A smile flickers on their face as their arms drop. They step closer, but they still don't look at her. “Are you sure?” Raph asks, just in case.
Lyf nods, wordlessly closing their eyes and tilting their face up. Raph leans in.
It's gentle, really, more than she would have first expected of Lyf when they'd met. Now that they know each other a little better, though, it's only a bit less surprising. She wonders how jealous she can make Marius and Ivy about kissing Lyf first, even if it's only for an experiment.
When they part, Lyf looks… soft. Considering, maybe. Raph takes the opportunity of their distraction to tug at one of their braids, inspecting the color in their new proximity. Lyf’s never really allowed her this close before. Their hair used to be black, but after the… incident, it’s turned mostly white, with shocks of color all throughout.
They only give her a small smile– no edging away or swatting her hand. In fact, they run a light finger over the edge of her wing, which causes a shiver to run down her spine. It's more than she expected from them, and it makes her want to stop and continue in equal measure.
After another moment, they thank her, quietly, and walk out, leaving the door slightly ajar behind them.
…and that's the experiment over, isn't it?
-
Question: What are the effects of kissing?
Independent Variable: Me
Dependent Variable: Different crew members. This is the only population I have readily available. Also I do not want to kiss lots of strangers, because that could lead to disease– if not affecting me, then potentially starting an epidemic– and that is not an outcome I am looking for.
Background: It is already known that kissing can lead to an increase in dopamine and serotonin, but what will that mean for the crew? Will there be any long term effects?
Hypothesis: Kissing different members of the crew will lead to short term rise of body temperature, rise in dopamine and serotonin, and– depending on the member– violent outbursts.
Notes:
-Generally going as expected. Most notably, obvious rise in body temperature from all subjects.
-No violent outbursts quite yet. In fact, everyone seems to get shy and embarrassed at the prospect.
It's cute
-Certain members expect more than one kiss. Is this normal?
-I feel as though this should not affect me as much as it does
-No violent outbursts from any subjects. At least, not relating to this. Interesting. Possible this leads to a general rise in mood?
I feel happier after
Final thoughts:
My hypothesis was correct on most counts, although the lack of violence was certainly unexpected. Why is this? It could be a direct effect of this form of affection being shown, or an outside variable I am unaware of.
I am overcome with a strange sense of sadness now that the experiment is over
-
Life continues, as it tends to do. Raph finishes what she has of her reportings, fills in her chart, but she leaves room for long-term effects after observing everyone for a week.
Turns out, the peaceful breakfast lead to a peaceful day. Then a peaceful week. Then a peaceful month. Granted, “peaceful” doesn't mean much when it comes to the Mechanisms, but only four casualties in a month is noteworthy. Especially when three of them are Jonny. But it's mostly the raised amount of affection.
Hugs are up 60%, handholding up 46%, they've already had two cuddle piles, and someone’s always leaning on someone else. Raphaella’s been noting this all down with a ferocious glee, of course, but she's not about to complain. She likes having her hand held, getting hugged, and being cuddled. The biggest development, though, happened several days ago.
They'd all come back from a quick stop planetside, going over their spoils in the Couch Room (the room specifically for couches and other Nice Sitting Furniture). Raph was off to the side, sorting out some plant specimens she’d managed to pick up, when she heard a delighted gasp from Ivy.
When she'd looked up, Ivy was looking, awed, at a sheepish Brian holding out some gilded tome or other. “The librarian was a dick,” he explains as Ivy takes it from him and marvels at it, “so I picked up the first thing I saw, and, well–”
Ivy surprised everyone by gently setting the book on a table, then less gently pulling Brian down by his lapels into a kiss.
Everyone quieted, watching them. Raph felt another odd pull in her stomach… was she longing? Was she jealous? Of who?
Ivy’s eyes went wide when she realized what she was doing and pulled away, although her hands continued to clutch at Brian’s coat. “I– Oh, Brian, I'm sorry, was that alright?”
Brian had a look about him like it was miraculous he could stay standing. “Uh…”
“I shouldn't have just– I'm sorry, I…” Ivy glanced at Raph. For some reason, this made Raph feel like a current was passing through her. “I thought… mm!”
She let out a startled noise as Brian cupped her face and pulled her back in, kissing her just as soundly as she did him. She relaxed noticeably, melting into it.
Tim whooped from a bean bag, and Jonny, sitting next to him, shoved him off. “Hey, I stole us that liquor! Where's my kiss?”
“ I stole that,” Ashes corrected, dropping down into Tim’s place and draping an arm over Jonny’s shoulders. “ You helped.”
Jonny huffed and crossed his arms, a usual sight on the Aurora. The less usual sight, though, was Tim squeezing in next to Ashes, wrapping his arms around them, and giving them a loud kiss on the cheek.
“Mm mwah!” He grinned, satisfied. “How was that?”
“Hey! I asked first!” Jonny lunged, tackling Tim back to the ground, and Ashes just gently touched their cheek instead of joining in.
“ C’mon , Tim, where's my kiss?!”
“Fuck off!”
And it didn't stop there. Not even close.
In the following whatever-time, Raphaella came across even more affection, much more than she'd ever thought the Mechanisms were capable of.
Marius and Nastya playing violin together, Nastya not even reaching for her gun when Marius kisses her hand in thanks. Tim and Jonny having an argument that tapers off into laughing and kisses rather than gunshots. Ivy and Brian napping on the floor, Aurora’s cables and wires snaking around them. Ashes and the Toy Soldier braiding Lyf’s hair together, humming in harmony as Lyf smiles gently.
It's unprecedented.
Not that they're leaving Raph out of it, not by a long shot. She has to field at least 13 kisses and hugs before their approximation of noon, and gods forbid she's with them all in a group. She's been stuck in so many cuddle piles, all limbs keeping each other in place and kisses pressed anywhere that can be reached. They've all been together lately. And they've all been happy.
It's unprecedented. It’s wonderful. It should make Raph overjoyed, right?
And yet, she feels something strange in a deep pit of her stomach when Brian presses a kiss to her lips, or Tim winds a hand in her hair, or Nastya holds her hands. She feels happy– she does, she really does, but the undercurrent of wrong is unpleasant enough that it keeps her awake most nights.
The thing is, she can't tell exactly what it is. Some deep worry, guilt, some feeling like something is still wrong.
She's in the middle of another cuddle pile– she's lost count for how many there have been in the past few weeks– when she suddenly decides to blurt it out. (She has to pull away from Ivy first, of course, and she sounds as breathless as she is when she does so.) “You all don't have to keep kissing me,” she bursts in a breath. When Ivy gives her an odd look, she adds weakly, “...if you don't want to.”
Jonny makes a confused noise from where he’s buried in her wings, his nose pressing into the small of her back before he pulls back far enough to be heard, “Why wouldn't we want to?”
Great. Now everyone’s looking at her from where they're sprawled out over the Cushion Room (different than the Couch Room– this one specifically encouraged laying down, beanbags and sleeping mats and, yeah, cushions galore).
“Well,” Raph starts, her voice pitching up, “it's just… I didn't mean– I mean, I'm not complaining– I just want to know why, I guess? Since the experiment is over..?”
She trails off, and her eyes dart to everyone's, their expressions ranging from confused to mildly hurt.
Until Ivy gasps, sitting up. “Wait– that actually was an experiment?”
Raph sits up too. “Y-yes?? What else would it have been?” Raph asks, a little distressed.
A general, soft ohh sounds through the room. Everyone suddenly looks like they've dawned on something. Raph looks around rapidly. “What??”
“Shit, Raph,” Ashes begins to laugh. “We thought– hah, we thought you were making that bit up!”
…
“What?!”
Ashes rolls over and wraps her arms around Raph’s legs, still laughing into her hip. “Oh, fuck, that's too good…”
Nastya’s hands come up to cover her face. Jonny’s turned red and seems to be staying that way. Brian looks thoroughly conflicted.
Marius speaks up next, fingers combing through her hair from where he sits behind her. “I think we all assumed you'd made up the experiment bit to kiss all of us.” He sounds a little nervous.
“What?” Raph asks again. It seems to be her favorite word right now.
Everyone’s sitting up now, the moment made too vulnerable for any of the most emotionally stunted people in the universe to stay lying down, all overlapping and warm. Raph feels cold now. So she continues talking. “I… I didn't intend for it to end up like this. But, like I said earlier, I'm– I'm not complaining.”
She makes sure to look at everyone as she says it. “I'm happy that we've all been happier. I'm happy that we've all been nicer with one another, and I'm happy to kiss all of you as much as you'd like. I… I love…” she cuts herself off. She can't quite get herself to say that, not now. Again, most emotionally stunted people in the universe. When she speaks again, it's almost a whisper. “...I love being with all of you like this.”
Silence blankets the room.
Then, one by one, everyone starts laughing.
It's not mean, not at all. In fact, it's fond and happy and possibly a little teary. Everyone shuffles closer to Raph, and it's warm, loving, arms and hands and kisses pressed anywhere in reach. A wire wraps around her ankle, which seems to be Aurora’s way of joining in.
“We love you too,” Ivy murmurs.
“Fuck, we couldn't have figured this out sooner?” Tim laughs.
“We're A Bit Awful At Talking Through Our Feelings, Love,” the Toy Soldier quips.
“We're very awful at talking through our feelings,” Lyf echoes.
Raph finds laughter bubbling up from deep within her, then, the leaden worry turning to golden elation, light bursting from her chest.
Of course. Of course, the answer has been in front of her for millennia. The answer is all around her, holding her close, a melody of light and laughter and joy.
-
Final thoughts, continued (final final thoughts): This experiment has proved far more fruitful than I would have ever imagined. It seems I've been in love for years without knowing it, and my feelings have been reciprocated for gods know how long. So, an unforeseen outcome– and, note that this is a very unique set of circumstances– is starting a relationship with your entire crew. I must say, I’ve never been so pleased with the outcome of an experiment. And I've never been so happy to have a hypothesis proved wrong.