Chapter Text
Cale was awoken by the sound of Ron knocking on his door. He groaned; it was way too early to be awake, even without knowing the hour.
“Young master, miss Cage has a message for you from the God of Death.” Ron hadn’t entered the room, but the mention of GoD having a message for him made him cry inside.
The kids started to fidget, pressing their little paws against his body. Sleep abandoned him. Miffed at the betrayal from his beloved unconsciousness, Cale dressed quickly to greet the former priestess, opening the door to the sight of her and Ron.
Cage stood there patiently, clutching a sizeable paper. “That bastard wants to apologize, but he won’t tell me why.” A glass slipped from her sleeve into her hand. “Want to drink with your noona?” She held out the paper and the glass with an awkward smile.
“What does that motherfucking god want this time… I’ll gladly drink with you, but you are in no way my noona.” She laughed and followed him inside. Ron followed them without a word, but his benign smile sent a shiver down Cale’s spine.
The kids climbed on him as he sat on his bed, and he accepted a glass of wine from Cage as he unfolded the paper.
My dear child, please don’t get mad. You see, the God of Mischief has been quite upset lately… he loves it when you go on adventures with your kids, and he is demanding
that we send you somewhere for his entertainment. I’ve arranged for you to get half an hour to say goodbye, but he is insufferable. You’ll be going to another Earth, one
you don’t know, for a while… time will be a lot faster there, so you don’t have to worry about abandoning your friends. I’m pretty sure that you four will be stronger than
everything you’ll encounter, so none of you will die. Thanks for saving us from this guy, and please don’t hate me! Even the God of Balance is agreeing to this; he’s awful!
You’ll get a cintamani within a few days. ( っ °Д °;) っ
The letter crumpled in his hand. That motherfucking god had directly interfered in his slacker life again, is sending him to another world again, and this time is dragging his kids into it as well! He’ll punch that bitch if he ever saw him. He drank the wine swiftly, then spoke.
“I’ll need everyone in the manor for a meeting. Ron, gather those in the east side, and I’ll take care of the west. We will meet in the dining hall.”
Cage whistled. “That bad, huh? Man, I’m so glad I was excommunicated. Pretending to like that guy was awful. If he tries to do something to you again, I’ll cuss him out in my next dream.”
Cale’s arms shook as he carried the kittens all around half of the bedrooms in the manor, waking up Choi Han, Sheritt, Rosalyn, and Lock, leaving Lock’s siblings asleep. He led all of them to the dining hall, greeting the others when they arrived. Ron had brought Beacrox, Eruhaben, Rasheel, Dodori, and Mila.
“Raon, Alberu should probably be included too.” The six-year-old dragon connected the video communications device immediately, and Cale set it on the table when the Crown Prince picked up from his office.
- What did you do now, dongsaeng?
Cale cleared his throat. “Apparently, this god we haven’t heard of, the God of Mischief, really likes it when I don’t have my slacker life. He got the other gods to agree to send me and the three kids to another Earth. We’ll be transported in about fifteen minutes.”
Everyone shouted at once. “WHAT?” Rasheel banged his fists on the table. Cale cleared his throat, gaze darting around awkwardly.
Choi Han clenched the handle of his sword. “Can I make another deal to go with you?” Cale shook his head. Choi Han got a scary look in his eyes, so Cale turned his gaze toward the other end of the table. Cale shuddered as he looked around, unable to find someone without a violent expression. He finally looked down at the table when he saw Ron sharpening a knife.
“Nobody should come with me. Knowing what I do about the gods, this will take a lot of their energy, and if we bring too many to an Earth that isn’t connected to this dimension, they might not be able to bring us back.” He could feel dragon’s rage coming from Eruhaben, and he bemoaned his situation internally again. Damn it all.
- This isn’t an Earth with monsters from the Demonic Realm?
Cale shrugged. “It isn’t on our dimension line like Earths 1, 2, and 3 are. Apparently, I’ll get a cintamani in a few days over there, and time will also go faster over there, so I won’t be gone for long on your end.” Before anyone could respond, Cale felt a tugging sensation. Their shocked and angry faces were the last he saw before his vision went black.
———————————————————————————————————————
When Cale opened his eyes, he was in a moving subway. Ohn and Hong were curled up in his lap. He glanced around quickly, noting that nobody seemed shocked at their arrival. Did he take another person’s body? He touched his hair, lifting a lock to inspect it. It looked to be the same length and color as before. His hand was the same too, and his proportions felt the same as well. He was still in the body of Cale Henituse. His clothes were different, however – he was wearing something similar to his wardrobe as Kim Rok Soo.
That God of Death bastard must have meddled in his transportation as well to keep people from freaking out. It was the least he could have done, so Cale was still pissed at him for messing up his slacker life again. Especially since he had something he would miss this time. Well, he supposed that the God of Mischief held most of his anger.
- Human! This is so different, and everybody is dressed so strangely, including you! Mm, well, I will still destroy that God of Mischief fucker when I can. I am great and mighty!
Cale dipped his head slightly in response. He petted the kittens as they pawed at his abdomen, then picked them up gently when they started clambering up his arms.
There were about twenty other people in the cabin. An old lady had a twin boy on either side sleeping against her arms, a father was cradling a cooing baby, a teenage couple was holding hands, and the rest were by themselves. Nobody was looking at him.
The lights turned off, then the subway jerked rapidly to the side, sending many of the passengers to the floor. A few people started screaming, and the kids that were previously sleeping held on to the old lady tightly. Cale glanced out the door’s window. Yeah, the subway wasn’t moving at all. His head snapped up at a loud wail, then identified it as the baby starting to cry. The father soothed it as everyone righted themselves. The intercom buzzed with a message to evacuate that Cale was all for listening to. Even if there were no monsters here, on his Earth, it was always safer to get out of something as easily crushed as a cabin. Cale didn’t bother to listen to the conversations around him as he started to stand up, especially once Raon spoke up in his head.
- Human, I feel something coming! If you get hurt again, I will destroy everything!
Cale took the distraction of those around him as a chance to pat the invisible Raon, who was floating right in front of his face to no surprise. The kittens bumped him with their heads, so he patted them too.
A bright green light that appeared to be made of crackling energy quickly grew in the center of the enclosed space. Cale would have activated the Indestructible Shield, but he didn’t want to make a scene. Besides, who knows if this Earth even had a form of abilities? In any case, he couldn’t hear the voices of the ancient powers, and their weakened state might make him cough up blood again. Cale suppressed a shudder at the thought of his kids snitching to Ron.
[The free service of the 8612th planetary system has come to an end.]
[The main scenario will begin now.]
What the hell did that mean? If it was anything like the God of Despair’s tests, he was going to kill the God of Mischief for getting rid of his hard-earned slacker life.
The light dissipated to reveal a creature that closely resembled a dokkabei from Korean mythology. It was cuter than the typical description, with fluffy-looking brown fur, stubby golden horns and tired-looking round eyes of the same hue, and a neat blue tunic. It still wasn’t as cute as his kids.
All at once, the voices of his ancient powers flooded his thoughts.
- So, this is where you were sent?
- M-mn, it feels like I haven’t eaten in days…
- Why the XXXX is your life so XXXX complicated? Let’s XXX and XXXX those gods until they XXXX XXX XXX!
- Burn this world to the ground and take all their gold! Ahahahaha!
- My head hurts and I don’t even have a head anymore. Urgh.
- Are you going to sacrifice yourself?
- …
- Already? Your life is a XXXX disaster!
Cale rubbed his temple. He had been worried when their voices had gone missing, but suddenly, he wished they would be quiet again.
The dokkabei started to speak in an exhausted tone. “Alright… You humans lived boring, easy lives, blah blah blah… if you don’t cooperate, Ill blow your head off. Complete your scenarios and maybe you’ll live.”
“What makes you able to demand this of us?” The woman who spoke sounded annoyed, and she pointed her finger in its face. “You’re just a myth! What can you do? We have lives, you know, and you should go back to where you came from!”
Cale watched closely as the dokkabei narrowed its eyes. Without a word, without even a motion, the woman’s head exploded. A few screams rang out, and people scrambled back to get away from the gore. Those who were too close frantically wiped at the blood that splattered onto them. He was a bit sad that he didn’t cover his kids’ eyes in time.
“Anyone else?” It asked cooly. One of the kids by the old lady was about to speak, but the old lady covered his mouth quickly. When nobody responded, it appeared satisfied.
Shit. He didn’t even see it coming, so he had no way to block an attack like that without killing the dokkabei before it got the chance, and he didn’t know if that was possible. A dragon might be able to handle it, but he wouldn’t ask that of Raon.
A blue screen appeared in front of his face. He could see the rest of the passengers reading their own holograms, though Cale couldn’t read them from his angle.
[The main scenario has arrived.]
[PROVE YOUR VALUE
Kill one or more living organisms.
Category: Main
Difficulty: F
Time limit: 30 minutes
Reward: 300 coins
Penalty for failure: Death]
Kill a living organism within thirty minutes, huh…
The other passengers started to panic even more. The dad clutched his baby to his chest. Everyone watched everyone else warily, and the dokkabei smiled for the first time. It was not a nice smile.
Though his heart hammered in his chest, Cale started to speak. “I have a question regarding the scenario, if you’ll permit it?” His ancient powers started yelling at him, but he ignored them.
- Human, no! If, if she explodes your head, I’ll kill everyone in this world, and then those bastard gods, and then myself! So, you cannot die!
The dokkabei nodded, to his relief. “Make it quick.”
“I’m assuming that we all have the same scenario of killing at least one living organism. There’s a literal baby over there, does it have to kill something too?” Cale hoped not. He hated seeing kids die.
It blinked, then looked into seemingly nothing. After a moment, it turned back to him. Interesting, so it was under the orders of someone (or something) else.
“No. It doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand death, or read the scenario instructions, so the scenario is nullified. The same goes for any animals. Is that all, or do I need to give some more motivation?”
Cale dipped his head in acquiescence. He looked around again, noticing that some people had taken out writing utensils or were clutching their bags. The baby was still crying, albeit softer, and the previously sleeping kids were trying to pinch themselves awake from reality. Well, he always preferred cider over sweet potato in real life.
“Does anyone have hand sanitizer?” All eyes snapped to Cale as he spoke up. A few intelligent pairs of eyes filled with hope. “Even one bottle of travel hand sanitizer should be able to let all of us kill enough bacteria to pass this scenario multiple thousands of times over.”
A hesitant voice spoke up. “If that was the case, we all should have passed already. Our immune systems are constantly killing bacteria.”
Cale smirked. “The dokkabei said that the baby was excluded partly because it ‘didn’t have the mental capacity to comprehend death,’ which means that you have to consciously kill something. That’s not even mentioning that the scenario says to ‘kill one or more living organisms’ instead of living person or creature. It doesn’t hurt to try, in any case.” The ancient powers asked him what bacteria was, but he ignored them. Huh, they somehow gained the ability to understand Korean, though they were still talking to him in the Western Continent’s official language.
Multiple people got out their travel hand sanitizers. Unsurprisingly, that group included the guardians of the kids on board. A few people started to stand up as if to demand it from them immediately.
The grandma glared. “You all sit down, and it will be passed around within five minutes.” Everyone was cooperative after that. Cale considered himself lucky that he had been transported to a cabin with mostly mild-mannered people that could understand when they had been unreasonable.
Multiple hand sanitizer containers were passed around. The first person to get one gasped in surprise while looking at something Cale couldn’t see.
“It worked! It says I was the first in this cabin to pass the scenario, and it says I got coins!” Coins? Like the arcade games Lee Soo Hyuk said he used to play? The hand sanitizer containers were passed around with excitement, more exclamations filling the air.
One of the teenagers raised his hand, then awkwardly put it down and started to speak. “If this is supposed to be like a video game, where do these coins go? Is there a way to access an inventory as well?” He paused for a moment, then spoke again as his eyes widened as he read the open air. “It worked! Thought activated, and it shows a bunch of skills on level one. … 200 coins into strength. … It says I’m level three now, awesome! I don’t know how this happened, but this is pretty fun.” Cale could hear people putting coins in their stats. One of them gripped a pole, shouting out when it dented. This was the very definition of a munchkin system. At least Cale didn’t have to work out to get stronger, and then he would be able to carry his kids without his arms shaking.
- Human! You should do that so you’re not so weak, and then you might actually become as strong as one, no, two of my claws!
“Hey everyone? The prime minister is giving a statement,” a young person called. They turned up the volume on their phone to let everyone hear. Cale didn’t recognize the voice – what year was it here?
“There have been reports of unidentified terrorist attacks, in Seoul as well as many other areas of the country. The government will combat these attacks using all means necessary…”
That same person gasped. “Does that mean that some people are actually killing people to pass this scenario?” Many of the passengers looked around grimly. A few seconds passed, then a shot rang out from the phone. They dropped the phone reflexively, then stated in a shaky voice, “The prime minister is dead.” It got very quiet as the reality of what was happening set in. The human kids started to cry again.
“I refuse to do that. As long as I have another option, I will not kill a single person. We can work together to protect ourselves and especially these kids.” That seemed to be the consensus. Cale mentally applauded the father, glad that he didn’t have to say something along those lines and very glad that there wouldn’t be any action.
A childish voice cut through the murmurs in the cabin. “Was something supposed to happen?” One of the old lady’s twin wards was rubbing in a dollop of hand sanitizer. “I don’t see anything like you said… am I going to die?” His voice became an even higher pitch. From where Cale was sitting, he could tell that the little boy’s breathing had picked up. Aigoo…
Cale secured his grip around the kittens and stood. It was a bit awkward when all eyes went to him again. His poor slacker life… He walked over to the boy, crouching down in front of him. The kid was what, three or four?
“Do you know what germs are?” The kid paused. Okay. “Germs are very tiny living things that live on everything. It may sound strange, but to them, we are even bigger than the planet is to us. Isn’t that crazy?” After getting a wide-eyed nod in response, he continued. “They’re kind of like ants – they don’t have thoughts, they just follow what their body tells them to stay alive and make more of themselves. Is this all making sense?”
- You’re actually good at stuff like this???
Cale ignored the glutton and waited for a response from the kid. After a moment, he gave a quiet, “Yes.”
“Since they are alive, you can kill them. That’s what hand sanitizer does, it kills them. We use it because some of these germs can get you sick. That’s how you get colds at daycare. In this scenario, if you know that you are killing a living thing, you pass it and get coins. Why don’t you try again?” Damn, his voice was starting to feel a bit hoarse from talking so much.
After a sniffle, the boy replied, “Okay.” He squeezed out a bit more of the substance, then as he lathered it on his hands, his eyes lit up. “It worked! Thank you, hyung!” The boy shot up and wrapped his arms around one of Cale’s legs. What?
- Hahahaha! You adopted another XXX kid!
The boy’s twin raced to hug his other leg. While the kids were still attached to him, the first one had the second take the hand sanitizer bottle from his hand. After the second one used it, his legs were hugged even tighter. He didn’t even do anything, why were they like this? They should be thanking whoever owned the hand sanitizer.
The ancient powers were completely unhelpful, filling his head with cackles. He stood there awkwardly until the old lady directed them to sit back down. Right as he went to claim his old seat, the woman motioned for him to sit next to them. Those next to them slid over before he could refuse. He sat down reluctantly, patting the head of the boy he ended up next to. It was the one he had lectured.
When the container was handed to Cale, he made sure to keep some on his hands and transfer it to the paws of each of his kids in discreet motions just in case they were given the scenario as well. He got a lot of notifications, but all he bothered to take from it was that he got tens of thousands of coins. Apparently, you don’t even get one coin per germ you kill, since there are trillions of them on your hands in almost all cases. He held off on using them just in case it allowed the coin givers to control him somehow. It may seem foolish, but the idea of taking power from the likes of the Sealed God held him back.
“What’s your name, hyung? Mine’s U-Jin. My brother is Min Joon!” U-Jin went to grab his hand. Cale was too tired to move it away.
“My name is Cale Henituse.” A few people looked at him with strange expressions.
“I’ve never heard a name like that before. What’s it mean? My mama named me U-Jin because they didn’t expect me and it means blessing. Did your mama give you a cool name too or just a random one?” The old lady looked at U-Jin with a fond expression.
Why was the original Cale named Cale instead of something else? He didn’t know anything about name meanings in the Western Continent language. “I don’t know,” he replied. He’d have to ask Jour’s diary later.
“Oh,” U-Jin said simply, then went quiet. He could hear a few conversations around him while the rest of the passengers completed the scenario.
A hologram appeared in front of each person again.
[Main Scenario #1 – PROVE YOUR VALUE has ended.
Number of survivors in cabin number 3907 of train number 3434 to Bulgwang: 22]
[Survivors:
Ahn Min Jung
Baek Ha-Joon
Scroll to see more…]
Cale chose not to read carefully through the list of survivors, though he could see a few of the passengers doing so. It didn’t put any faces to the names. He could see the names of his kids on the list, however, so he hoped that nobody bothered to count – or notice the strange names aside from his.
The dokkabei cleared its threat. “This is an unprecedented situation. It is being allowed since many constellations are interested in your pacifist route (and others think it’ll be interesting to watch your deaths), but each of you will only be given 10,000 coins instead of the outrageous number you got.” Cale almost pitied it as its eyebags seemed to grow on the spot.
[You have slaughtered 2,342,543,476,934 living organisms.
Slaughter details:
-2,345,986,324 rhinovirus bacteria
-3,987,345,225 pseudomonas bacteria
Scroll to see more…]
[Due to killing bacteria, the number of coins you obtained has been fixed.]
[You have obtained 10,000 coins.]
[You have unlocked the achievement Decimator due to excessive slaughtering.]
[You have obtained 300 coins as a basic clear reward.]
[100 coins have been deducted for the channel usage fee.]
[Additional rewards will be calculated.]
“Aw, that decreased my skills some. If it’s this easy to get coins, though, it doesn’t really matter.” The first one to pass the scenario had spoken up.
A crashing sound came from the cabin in front of theirs. Blood splashed on the other side of the glass. Was it an angry dokkabei or a person being killed? Cale observed nervous glances between the other passengers again. Nobody went to look through the door’s windows, but someone hesitantly went to look through the glass to the cabin behind theirs.
She told everyone, “They’re arguing! I think they’re not going to do anything; we should help them!” She went to open the door, but she was pushed back by a yellow barrier.
“Nobody can enter or exit cabin 4007 until they have completed the scenario.” The dokkabei was watching, seemingly unaffected by their easy passing of the scenario.
The woman looked back at the dokkabei. “They can hear us, right? And see us through the window?”
“They can hear you if you’re loud enough.”
After a slight pause, she suddenly broke off one of the poles, starting to bang it on the ground. Everyone else covered their ears. Every time she reached five, she shouted at them to “kill bacteria.” The arguing silhouettes never ceased their frantic movements, and her yells sounded more desperate as time passed.
She tried for about five minutes, then gave up as they could start to hear the yelling from the cabin. A few minutes after that, the yelling was replaced by bangs and the sound of blood splattering. None of the silhouettes could be seen anymore.
Everyone in cabin 4007 had failed the scenario.
The woman started to sob. A few passengers went to comfort her, but Cale went to check the doors. He knew that it was difficult when someone died because you couldn’t do anything, but the best thing to do was move forward. None of the doors opened with their button.
“Staying in an enclosed space isn’t the best plan. We should gather supplies; is anyone strong enough to break through the subway?” Cale asked.
The old lady started to walk over, but before she could do anything, the subway train rattled. It started to move again, sending happy exclamation throughout the cabin, but Cale wasn’t so sure it was a good thing.
Light flooded the cabin, and people screamed as giant serpents towering above explosions became visible. They looked different from the monsters on the Earths he knew, but he’d have to treat them with more caution as a result. One of them dove over the train, to the horror of many – they were even bigger than they looked out in the city. He could see drones attacking them ineffectively. Did these serpents come from the Demonic Realm?
A galaxy with a few bright stars was visible above the dokkabei’s head, which was a bit strange, but currently unimportant. Cale filed it away for later.
“As you can see, everyone made it out that I did not kill. Who knows if they’re prepared to face what’s coming?” The dokkabei started to talk to who Cale assumed was its boss. He could see that the others had realized what that meant – they had passed this scenario easily and without killing people, but it wouldn’t be this easy going forward.
The dokkabei turned to them. “You all passed, which means you all can be sponsored by a constellation. I don’t know if you pansies are interesting enough to actually get sponsors, but we’ll see.” It sounded like becoming the saint of a god. That was the only thing that made sense, though he and his kids were the only ones with even that amount of context. “Since you all seem to be idiots with your confused faces, I’ll explain. The constellations are powerful beings, and a lot of them want to root for a puny human. Choose wisely if you even have options.”
The dokkabei snapped somehow, and a hologram popped up in front of Cale.
[SPONSOR SELECTION
- Select a constellation.
- The selected constellation will be your reliable sponsor.
1. Guardian of the Domain of Rest
2. Ruler of the Domain of Misconduct
3. Black Light of Guidance]
Cale could tell that the first constellation was the God of Death, meaning that the second was the God of Mischief. Who was the third? The naming style didn’t have the word ‘domain’ in it, which probably meant that it wasn’t a god from his world group.
None of them would be picked, though, so he didn’t care. He wouldn’t get involved with gods any more than he had to.
- I’m not picking, Human! Don’t give in to those bastard gods!
He wasn’t going to, but it was good to know that Raon wasn’t going to either. Ohn and Hong also weren’t the type to let gods dictate their lives like that.
[The sponsor selection has ended.]
“That’s kind of what I expected, though some of you seem to be idiots. Oh, well. There’s always next time. The next scenario will be up soon, so be prepared. Put on a good show, will you? I’ll be back in a bit.” The dokkabei crumpled into nothing. The teleportation was different from the mages or the Hunters.
For a moment, everyone just stared at each other. Should Cale just take his kids and leave quietly?
Before he could sneak away, the old lady grabbed his hands and smiled at him. “Thank you for saving my grandsons, young man. My name is Ra Haneul.” Despite her age, her voice was strong, and so was her grip.
He noticed that the others were about to introduce themselves as well. “I don’t think we have the time or the memory to all go through and say our names. We should leave.”
They stared at him in disbelief. Cale could see why; the giant serpents were still raging outside. Ehem.
“We should find food before everything is looted. Besides, one of those serpents could crush this cabin like a bug.” Understanding filled their eyes. Good. “None of the doors open at all. Does anyone have the strength or an ability that lets them break through?”
Just like before, the old lady- no, Ra, stepped forward. “My strength is at level four and my supporting constellation is the Mass Production Maker. When I have a goal, materials will bend to my will.” True to her word, when she attacked the door, it dented on the first hit, and broke open on the second. A few strikes later, everyone could safely leave.
The woman that had tried to help cabin 4007 spoke once they had left the subway. “Can we look through the windows of the cabins behind us? I want to see if anyone is still alive.” Everyone looked around at each other, and when finding no one opposed to the idea, she smiled. “Thank you.”
They walked to look through the windows of the cabins. 4007 was filled with headless bodies, and the woman rushed over to the next one, everyone else following behind. They could see that most people were dead from means other than dokkabei, a few were headless, and two were alive. However, the living two were dying. Quickly.
“We can save them! We can…” The woman trailed off as they died before her eyes. She covered her face with her hands.
The dokkabei appeared before they could check cabin 4207. “Aw, poor dears. I guess you can’t save everyone. It’s time to keep moving forward.”
[The second scenario has arrived.]
[SUB SCENARIO – ESCAPE
Category: Sub
Difficulty: E
Clear conditions: Get across the collapsed bridge and enter Oksu Station.
Time limit: 20 minutes
Penalty for failure: ???]