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The second that they finished their infiltration of Sae’s Palace for the day, Ann grabbed Akira’s arm and pulled him aside.
“We need to talk,” she said, ominously. She hoped she came across as ominous, at least. Akira had some explaining to do.
“Sure Ann, what’s up?” he smiled. The others paused, looking back at them, and Akira waved them on. Akechi alone remained behind for a second, head slightly cocked, as though asking an unspoken question. Akira nodded, and Akechi gave a shrug, and followed after the others.
Ann frowned. “That. THAT is what I’m talking about.”
“What?”
“You and Akechi…” Ann crossed her arms, and tried to figure out how to put her question into words. “What’s you guys’ deal?”
Akira jumped at that ( guiltily, Ann thought with smug satisfaction). “Deal? What deal? There is no deal.”
That had Ann laughing. “You’re a terrible liar. And it’s obvious that there’s something going on with you guys. I mean…what was all that in the Palace? The back and forth, the…” non-stop flirting, she WANTS to say.
Because what else would you call it when your generally quiet and reserved friend suddenly decides to get into a contest of one-upmanship with someone, and spends several hours performing some sort of weird, taunting, battle-oriented courtship dance? Sure, Akira tended to be a bit of a show-off when he was in the Metaverse, but the embarrassingly intimate display she’d witnessed tonight was…different. The entire afternoon, it had felt like Akira and Akechi had forgotten that the rest of the team were in the Palace with them, too caught up in…whatever the hell it was they were doing…to pay attention to anyone else.
“Oh. I mean, just normal rival stuff, I guess,” Akira said with a nonchalant shrug.
“...normal rival stuff.”
“Yeah?”
Ann searched his face - Akira was a master of masks, and had one of the best poker faces Ann had ever seen. But even he had tells when he was trying to dodge a question, or being outright dishonest…and Ann was startled to realize that Akira’s response had been serious.
“Akira, what…what do you think rivals are??? That was definitely NOT ‘just normal rival stuff’ that was…” Ann stopped, brows furrowed. “Okay. Scratch that. Start from the beginning. Why does it feel like you and Akechi know each other? We’ve only run into him a couple of times, but he talks and acts,” and looks at you, Ann wants to scream but admirably manages to restrain herself, “like he knows you.”
Akira rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, after the class trip to the TV station, he came to talk to me after you and Ryuji had gone ahead -”
“You’ve known each other since the TV station???”
Akira deliberately paused, and shot Ann a bemused look.
“Sorry, sorry…go on,” Ann sighed, waving her hand for him to continue.
“...he came to talk to me, and said he thought I was interesting and that he’d love to talk to me again sometime, so he gave me his number -”
“... gave you his number. ”
“And then he messaged me and asked me out. We ended up hanging out a lot over the summer.”
“ Akira ,” Ann groaned. He glanced at her, confused by her tone. “Okay. Define ‘a lot’.”
“Well,” Akira hummed. “We spent a lot of time playing pool at that one club in Kichijoji. Penguin Sniper. That’s kind of where the whole rivalry thing got started. He went easy on me, and when I called him on it, he told me he’d go all out against me if I ever managed to beat him with his handicap in place.”
Ann took a breath to ask her next question, but Akira continued, lifting his fingers to count.
“He took me to a nice cafe where we had cake and coffee, but some of his fans saw us and were getting ready to cause a scene. So I pulled him aside, messed up his hair and made him wear my spare glasses. It worked perfectly as a disguise, but he wasn’t too happy about that one, it took him forever to fix his hair again. He joked that next time, we should try trading clothes, and that he’d love dressing me up.”
“Uhm,” Ann tried again.
“He took me to his favorite jazz club as an apology for the cafe incident, because he said it was one of the few places he could go to just relax. We went to an arcade and played that popular new shooting game together - which he was really good at, he’s so good at everything he does - and he said that he’s working hard so that he can take me out. “
“ ...Akira. ”
“He came to Leblanc for coffee one night, and we ended up taking a bath together, and he kind of vented to me about his family history and then we raced to see who could get dressed faster, and…”
Ann pinched the bridge of her nose. “So you mean to tell me. That you’ve been going out with Akechi. FOR SEVERAL MONTHS NOW???”
“...yeah, as rivals,” Akira shrugged.
“I don’t think you know what the word ‘rival’ means ,” Ann muttered to herself, burying her face in her hands.
Akira appeared to think for a moment. “Oh! And he asked me to go to the aquarium with him, too.”
“...Akira,” Ann said with a sinking feeling.
“Yes?”
“...what was the conversation that made you believe you and Akechi were… rivals ?”
“It was after our first game of pool!” Akira beamed. “Akechi said that he wanted to go out again sometime. And I asked if he meant as rivals, because I figured he was talking about the whole pool challenge thing, and he said ‘Sure, whatever you want to call it, as long as I can spend time with you’.”
“...you’re kind of dumb, aren’t you?” Ann groaned in frustration.
“That’s what Morgana says, too!” Akira frowned. “This is why I didn’t really say anything about the whole thing. You guys don’t have to be so mean about me hanging out with Akechi.”
Ann sighed. “Sorry, I’m sorry…it’s just…I want you to know that you can talk to me. About this Akechi stuff. We’re friends, and you’ve always been there for me. So if you ever need someone to talk to, someone to bounce things off of…maybe help you examine the words you use to describe your…rivalry…with Akechi…know that I’m here.”
“Thanks, Ann,” Akira smiled.
__________________________________________
By the time she made it home, Ann was kind of starting to regret her offer. Apparently letting Akira know that he could talk to her about Akechi had opened a floodgate, because it turned out Akira had a LOT of thoughts about Akechi.
She was starting to wonder if the reason Akira was usually so quiet was because this was what his brain was occupied with. Just non-stop Akechi.
And a part of her couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Akira was just messing with her, because there was no way some of the things that he said could be serious. There was no way he could be choosing to describe him and Akechi’s relationship the way he did without knowing how it sounded. She was pretty sure, at least.
__________________________________________
Akira: i kind of want to run my fingers through his hair again. it’s so soft. i think it might be the softest thing i’ve ever touched. but i’m pretty sure he wouldn’t let me.
Ann: …hmmm. 😒
Akira: he always smells so nice, too…i want to bury my face in his soft, pretty hair, and surround myself with the smell of his shampoo…
Ann: Akira.
Akira: …as rivals.
Ann: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Akira: ???
you okay there?
Ann: Nope I’m fine don’t worry about it! ☺️
Akira: just don’t tell morgana. about the hair thing. for someone who spends so much time arguing that he’s not a cat, he’s awfully touchy about his fur. he’d be so mad about the implication that his fur isn’t the softest thing that i’ve…crap he’s reading this over my shoulder, morgana no!!! Fdafsdasdklfjals;fdjlk;;;;;aaaaaaaaaaaaa
__________________________________________
Akira was slowly killing her brain. That was her only excuse. The next time they were in the Metaverse, Ann tried to surreptitiously smell Akechi.
“Panther did you…did you just sniff me?” Akechi asked with a frown.
“Uhhhh...n-no! I'm just...I...I have the sniffles!” Ann sniffed dramatically a few times, and slowly backed away. “Ha, ha, ha…bye!!!”
She spun and walked away as fast as she could without making it look like she was running. She was definitely not running away. She paused near Akira, and leaned in to whisper. “Okay, you’re right. He does smell very nice.”
Akira’s entire face lit up with a smile. “See???”
“But we are NOT done with this conversation, buddy!”
__________________________________________
Akira: hey quick question - does mika ever show up unexpectedly when you’re talking to people?
Ann: Where is this coming from. No. Of course she doesn’t. That’d be super weird.
Akira: oh. i thought it might be a rival thing.
Ann: A what? Wait, why are you asking me about rival things and bringing up Mika???
Akira: aren’t you guys rivals?
Ann: …now, when you say RIVALS, do you mean normal rivals, or rivals like you and Akechi?
Akira: what, you saying that i’m not normal? 😅
Ann: I mean. If you look up the word “normal” in the dictionary, it says “the opposite of whatever Akira is”.
Akira: lol, brutal. but fair :P
anyway i was asking because i was hanging out with makoto earlier, and when i got back to leblanc, akechi was waiting for me
and over the summer, yoshizawa stopped me to tell me about how she got selected for the gymnastics meet, and akechi suddenly showed up and invited himself along for coffee. is that -
[ Ann is typing ]
- normal?
Ann: No, no that is not normal. Are we sure Akechi isn’t stalking you?
Akira: oh! maybe it’s a new contest, to see who knows the others’ schedule the best? oh man, if that’s the case i need to step up my game!
i should start hanging out in front of penguin sniper, or that bakery in shibuya station. catch akechi off guard! >:D
Ann: …yeah. I’m pretty sure that’s not it.
__________________________________________
She and Akira decided to meet up at Bikkuri Boy on the days that they didn’t have any Metaverse excursions planned. Ann was starting to get incredibly invested in the ongoing disaster that was Akira Having a Massive Crush on Goro Akechi But Apparently Not Realizing It, and she looked forward to the tea.
“I finally beat him at pool last night,” Akira announced. “It was close, but I did it.”
“Congrats,” Ann beamed. “I know that’s something you’ve been working at for a while now. How’d that go? If I’ve learned nothing else about Akechi from you -” don’t think about how he smells, don’t think about how he smells - “...it’s that he probably didn’t take losing to you very well.”
“Oh, he was actually pretty cool about it. He asked me if I’d ever consider leaving you guys behind and teaming up with him, instead.”
Ann blinked. “Wait, really? What did you say?!”
“Well obviously, I didn’t take him up on his offer,” Akira scoffed. “Have some faith in me, Ann. I wouldn’t abandon you guys…and I didn’t think it was a serious offer, anyway.”
Ann wasn’t entirely sure that Akira wouldn’t throw everything away for a pretty boy - for THIS pretty boy - but she kept her mouth shut.
Akira continued. “I mean…I told him that I’d think about it, because even though the question wasn’t serious, I’m pretty sure that he was waiting to see how I would respond to the question. And I did think about it, but…it’s kind of hard to put into words. Being on a team like that would…it would…change things? I guess?” Akira moved his hands, frustrated, as though he could grab the right words out of thin air if he just reached for them. “Like, the whole dynamic we have right now is one where we’re competing with each other, constantly pushing one another to do better - to BE better - and being co-conspirators takes something away from that, I think. It would implicitly become one of us leading, and the other following. We wouldn’t be equals.”
She’d never heard Akira sound so serious. It was also probably the most she’d ever heard him say at once. He’d actually thought about it. Her heart skipped a beat at the realization. “And did you tell him that?”
“Yeah,” Akira replied. “I told him that I thought that we’d be better off -”
Ann buried her face in her hands. “ Oh no. ”
“...as rivals.”
__________________________________________
When they met up that Sunday - just a few days later - Akira looked…rough. He slouched in the diner booth, his eyes dim. It looked like he might have been crying.
“What the hell happened to you?” she blurted out.
“...don’t say ‘I told you so’, but…you remember how you thought that Akechi wouldn’t take losing to me very well?”
“Yeah…” Ann trailed off. “Wait, did Akechi do something to you? It’s been like, three days since the pool thing! What happened?!”
“I went to hang out with him again last night, and he…said that he had something important that he wanted to talk to me about, and he wanted to go somewhere we wouldn’t be interrupted.”
“Like the jazz club?” Ann asked.
“...like Mementos.”
“ Akira . You went to Mementos. Alone. With Akechi? You didn’t think to maybe call us and let us know you were going??? What if something happened, and you guys got swarmed by Shadows? What if something happened to you ??? Nobody would have known where you were!”
“We didn’t go that far in,” Akira grumbled, tugging at his bangs. “Besides, Morgana knew where we were.”
Ann frowned at that. “Oh he did , did he?”
“Well, yeah,” Akira shrugged. “I tend to take Morgana with me everywhere I go, so he knows what I’m up to, but he’s usually polite enough to give me some privacy when I’m hanging out with someone.”
“Mona and I are so going to have a talk about this…” Ann cleared her throat. “So. What did he need to talk to you about in Mementos?”
Akira hesitated. “Well. You know how I told you about our pool competition. He told me that if I ever managed to beat him in a game of pool while he was using his non-dominant hand, he’d challenge me without holding back.”
“I don’t think you ever actually told me what the conditions were, just that there was a - oh, a hand icap. Very funny. Clever.” She made a face, which got a small laugh out of Akira. “So, he said he’d challenge you without holding back. What’s that got to do with Mementos? I’m prettttty sure there’s no pool hall down there.”
“He apparently didn’t mean he’d challenge me at pool,” Akira muttered, quick and under his breath. Ann almost didn’t catch it.
“I…okay?” Ann asked.
“I was also very confused at first. And then he pulled a gun on me.”
“HE WHAT!” she screeched. Several of the other patrons turned to look towards their booth, and Ann sank down on the bench, trying to avoid the attention.
Akira continued through Ann’s interjection. “I think it might have been a real gun, too? It definitely wasn’t the one he usually uses in battle. If it wasn’t real, it was a really realistic model.”
“He pulled a potentially real gun on you???”
“And then he said that he was frustrated by how quickly I learned new skills, and how effortless I made it look, and said that he wanted to fight me and just…see how far we could go.”
Ann couldn’t even begin to process that statement.
“...so we fought each other,” Akira concluded.
She snapped back to attention at that. “ And you thought this was a good idea why??? Akira!!! ” She knew that she didn’t have to remind him of how much of a bad idea it was for him to have gotten into a fight with Akechi in Mementos alone, with only Morgana knowing where they were. She knew that Akira knew what a bad idea that was.
Akira shrugged. “It’s just the way things are with us. It made sense at the time.”
Ann groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “So, clearly he didn’t murder you.”
That made Akira scoff. “Of course not! I won our duel, thank you very much. And he seemed annoyed by that…but also kind of happy? If that makes sense?”
“Nothing about you guys makes sense.”
“...so then, we left Mementos, and he apologized for dragging me all the way out there, and thanked me for indulging him.”
“You guys are SO weird,” Ann muttered. She glanced at Akira, and realized he’d stopped talking. His face had that drawn look again. “...Akira? What’s wrong?”
“And then, he…he told me that he hates me.”
Ann almost snorted at that, but Akira looked like he was going to start crying again. She scrambled, trying to think of how to distract Akira. Even after everything they’d been through, she’d never seen him break down. Oh, Akechi was DEAD. “He actually used the word ‘hate’? What exactly did he say to you?”
Akira sniffled. “He said that he hates me, and he hates my stupid hair, and my stupid face, and how deftly I’ve managed my entire situation. Then, he told me that I’m the one person that he refuses to lose to, and he threw one of his gloves at me. He said that it was a reminder that he’d be the one to defeat me, and that I’m not allowed to lose to anyone else.”
“That’s uh…uhm. Wow.” Ann could feel her face burning red.
“I can’t believe he’s hated me this entire time,” Akira sighed.
“Akira. Honey. I really don’t think that’s -”
“...I don’t even know why I’m still holding onto his glove at this point.”
Ann blinked. “...you’re what.”
“Oh, yeah,” Akira reached into his pants pocket, and pulled out what was, undeniably, one of Akechi’s gloves. “I’ve been carrying his glove around with me since he threw it at me. I mean, I know he hates me…but for some reason, I just can’t bring myself to get rid of it.”
“Akira. You are….graaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!” Ann growled, unable to keep her frustration in check anymore.
Akira sniffled again. “I just can’t believe he actually hates me. I really thought that we had something, some kind of connection…”
“DON’T.”
“...as rivals,” Akira finished sadly.
Ann took a deep breath. “Akira.”
“Yes?” he looked up at her serious tone.
“You know that I love you. You are one of my dearest, and most important friends.” Akira started to smile at her words, but she continued, “...but I’m gonna have to side with Akechi on this one. I get why he told you he hates you,” she said slowly, narrowing her eyes, “...and to be perfectly honest, I kind of agree with him at this point.”
Akira made an offended-sounding noise that might have been a squawk.
Ann quickly stood up, slamming her palms on the table. “I can’t keep watching this! I’m going to take matters into my own hands.” With an exasperated huff, she grabbed her bag, and stormed toward the door.
“Ann - Ann ! What are you talking about? What are you gonna do???” Akira called after her.
__________________________________________
They made plans to meet at the hideout after school the next day, to do a Mementos run. Ryuji remembered at the last minute that he had to grab something from the store for his mom, and Haru had a couple of phone calls to make before their meeting, so Akira (plus Mona-bag with a napping Morgana), Ann, and Makoto headed to Leblanc together.
Ann trailed behind Akira and Makoto, only half paying attention to their conversation. She ran through her plan one more time in her head. It wasn’t perfect, but clearly she couldn’t just sit back and wait for Akira to make progress on his own. Ryuji didn’t really like Akechi and wouldn’t understand. Makoto would be a wet blanket and try to stop her. Yusuke was…promising, but also unlikely to actually be of any real help. And asking Haru or Futaba was out of the question.
Was it a bad idea? Probably. Ann knew that if she told any of the others about what she was about to do, she’d be met with backlash and attempts to stop her. But Ann Takamaki was a strong believer in the power of love.
And unless Akira was just really bad about phrasing things in the most easily misinterpreted way possible - which was, she had to admit, a non-zero percent chance - she was pretty sure that Akechi felt something towards Akira. You don’t spend several months relentlessly flirting with and asking out someone you’re about to murder without there being something there. And Ann could work with something .
She blinked as she heard Makoto say Akechi’s name, and warily started paying attention to the conversation.
“I’ve actually known Akechi for about a year now,” Makoto was telling an enraptured Akira. Ann didn’t think Makoto noticed, or if she did, she probably had no idea why. Somehow, despite how obvious Akira was, she didn’t think anybody else had picked up on his infatuation. Or if they had, they were doing their best to pretend that they didn’t notice it.
“We go to the same cram school, and then he started working with Sis, so we’ve been seeing each other more often.” She chuckled, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Between competing for our grades and Sis’ attention, I kind of feel like he and I have a bit of a rivalry going on -”
Ann and Akira both froze. Makoto moved a step past them, but turned back when she realized that they had stopped.
“Oh,” Ann said. “Oh no.”
Tears started pouring out of Akira’s eyes.
“What have you done, Makoto?!” Ann groaned. She rushed forward to embrace Akira, and shot a glare at Makoto.
Makoto looked between Ann and the now openly bawling Akira with alarm. “I…what? What did I say?! Why is Akira crying???”
They somehow managed to get to Leblanc without drawing too much attention, despite Makoto and Ann basically manhandling Akira through the subway and down the backstreets of Yongen.
As they pushed their way into Leblanc, the sound of the bell woke Morgana from his catnap. Ann quickly pulled him aside to give him a run-down of what had happened, while Makoto ushered Akira upstairs before Sojiro could start asking too many questions.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get him calmed down before everyone else gets here,” Morgana gave a long-suffering sigh. “You just keep Makoto occupied. And don’t let her say the ‘A’ word! It’s like Akira’s got a sixth sense for knowing when people are talking about…him. You wouldn’t believe how many random conversations he’s stopped to listen to, just because he heard someone mention HIM. Then you throw in that one just showing up out of nowhere, when you’re least expecting it, and…”
“I’m gonna talk to A- to him,” Ann whispered. “Things can’t keep going like this.”
“Lady Ann,” Morgana warned, ears flicking toward the back of his head. “Are you really sure that’s a good idea?”
“Nope!” Ann said, brightly, standing up and stretching her arms over her head. “But I can’t keep sitting back, watching Akira go on like this when the entire situation could be solved by a simple conversation. Not after the glove thing.”
“Don’t even get me started about the glove thing!” Morgana yowled, then hastily tried to cover up as a series of painfully fake meows as he caught the attention of Akira and Makoto, who tried to peek down at him from over the banister. He leaned in to whisper, “He takes it out of his pocket to stare at it when he thinks I’m not watching. He’s absolutely ridiculous.”
“After today’s mission, I’m gonna pull him aside to ask him what his intentions are. Maybe do some prodding. Unlike some people, I know better than to try to have a conversation like that in the Metaverse. Where he has access to weapons. I just need you to find some way to distract Akira, and keep him out of it.”
“I’ll tell him it’s been a long day, and he should go to bed,” Morgana nodded. “That usually works.”
Ann paused. “Does it?”
“Yeah! Akira knows that I care about his health and well-being,” Morgana purred, puffing his chest out proudly.
“Is that why you let him go to Mementos alone with Akech -”
“Look, can we not talk about that? I’ll admit, it’s not one of my greatest moments. But in my defense! You’ve never seen the determination Akira moves with when he gets those texts. Even if I’d told him not to do it, even if I’d protested, he would have just found a way to slip away from me and go anyway, without my knowledge,” Morgana grumbled.
“Are you guys talking about Akechi?” Akira shouted down the stairs. Morgana shot Ann a pointed stare.
“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Akechi asked, stepping through the front door just seconds later, making the two of them jump. “I thought I heard someone call my name.”
“EVERY TIME!” Morgana groaned in disgust. He took off up the stairs, and Ann followed right behind him.
__________________________________________
She waited until the group had started to disperse after leaving the Metaverse, making sure that Akira was properly distracted talking to Morgana before she made her move. She purposely strode after Akechi.
“Hey!” she chirped, overly bright to catch his attention.
Akechi turned, a frown quickly flashing across his face - it smoothed into a polite smile almost immediately, and Ann probably wouldn’t have caught it if she hadn’t spent the past week listening to Akira’s constant stream of information about Goro Akechi.
“Takamaki. Did you need something?”
“Just wanted to chat with our newest member! I feel like you and I haven’t really gotten a chance to have a real conversation,” Ann put on her friendliest smile. “Let’s go grab some crepes - there’s this great little store over on Central Street!” He moved to step away, but Ann lunged and latched herself onto his arm. “I insist. It’ll be my treat!”
“I - “
She squeezed her arm around his bicep, and took a pointed step forward, pulling him slightly off-balance. “Like I said. I insist .”
Akechi caught himself, and sighed, falling into step beside her. “Very well. I suppose it would be rude of me to refuse your kind offer. Especially since you insist .”
They chatted about their experiences working with the media on the trip over to the crepe shop - because while her main goal was to get Akechi alone to talk to him, there was no reason she couldn’t also get some crepes. There was always time for crepes.
After they’d eaten, Ann decided to make her move. “So! You and Akira. What’s you guys’ deal?”
Akechi started, not unlike the way Akira had when she’d asked him the same question.
“I would think you’d be better served asking Kurusu that question.“
“Oh, Akira and I have already talked. I know about your…rivalry,” Ann admitted with a sly grin. She glanced over at Akechi's face, trying to gauge his reaction. “He’s still very shaken up about the glove thing.”
Akechi froze at that, his face turning a very interesting shade of pink. So she hadn’t misread the situation. Good to know that I still got it , she thought, smugly.
“I don’t know what you - what, exactly, has he been telling you?” Akechi coughed.
Ann grinned, rather viciously. “Oh, you know. He told me how you gave him your number, asked him out repeatedly, and…” She didn’t even get to finish before Akechi buried his face in his hands.
“That’s not…I…we’re just rivals ,” Akechi grumbled from behind his hands.
“I’ve heard that one before,” Ann pretended to yawn in disinterest. “In the same breath Akira told me that he thinks about you making out with him.”
“He did not say that.”
Ann grabbed her phone from her pocket, and pulled up her texts from Akira.
Akira: sometimes, i kinda want him to grab me by my lapels, slam me against a wall, and just…kiss me senseless.
Ann: …
Akira: …as -
Ann: …if you say “as rivals” I’m going to take that stupid glove and shove it down your throat so you choke on it.
“You’re surprisingly violent,” Akechi muttered, not looking up from the phone.
“I’m desperate at this point, is what I am,” she snapped. “Look. You like Akira. Don’t -” she cut off Akechi’s attempt to argue, “ - you’re not fooling me. Honestly, I’m not sure how you’re fooling anyone, aside from the fact that most of them aren’t the most emotionally observant people in the world. And that includes Akira. You’re going to have to be more direct.”
“ More direct ?” Akechi blinked. “Takamaki…say that you’re correct -”
“...because I am,” she smirked.
“...say that you’re correct in your little theory,” he pushed, glaring at her. “Say that I have asked Kurusu to go out with me, and taken him on several outings that were unmistakably dates. Yet, despite all of that, he STILL somehow manages to misunderstand my supposed intentions. How much more direct can a person get?”
“It’s this stupid rivalry,” Ann grumbled. “He thinks that everything that happens is because you’re competing with him.”
“To be fair, I AM competing with him.”
“So, what we need to do is take that sense of competition, and weaponize it,” Ann declared. “What we need is a plan so stupid, there’s no way it can fail!”
“I don’t think that’s how plans are supposed to work…”
“Do you or do you not want to make progress with Akira?” Ann asked, jabbing her phone in Akechi’s face.
“I mean…define progress ?” Akechi asked, exasperation creeping into his voice.
“Do you or do you not want to date him? It’s a simple question.”
“It’s really not as simple as you make it out to be…” Akechi sighed. “Even you have to understand that there’s more to it than just interest in the idea.”
Ann sighed. “Okay. How about this.” She held up her phone so that Akechi could see who she was messaging, and then started narrating as she typed.
Ann: Hey, you still awake?
Akira: morgana and i were just getting ready to go to bed, what’s up? :)
Ann: Akechi and I went to get crepes -
“Don’t tell him that!” Akechi hissed. “Don’t misconstrue the situation and make him think -”
“Make him think what?” Ann asked, innocently. “I thought you guys were just rivals …”
Ann: - and he told me that he’s a better kisser than you.
“TAKAMAKI!!!” Ann dodged Akechi’s attempt to snatch her phone. She cackled, amused by the quick drop in his composure. They were still in the middle of the street, so he couldn’t tackle her without drawing unwanted attention from the passersby. She saw the exact moment he realized it, too, and watched in fascination as he growled at her.
Akira: oh.
did he…did you guys…is there a third party judge in this competition to decide who’s the better kisser, or…?
Ann: He says kiss him and find out yourself, you coward. Unless you want Makoto to be the judge.
“Nijima - what are you - ???” he hissed.
[Akira is typing]
Ann: We’re on our way to Leblanc now. Tell Morgana not to bully you into going to bed yet!
“Took some liberties there, but I think I got the general point across,” Ann grinned. She turned to look at Akechi. “So, are you coming, or what?”
If looks could kill, Ann was pretty sure she’d be declared dead before an ambulance could arrive on the scene. And THIS is the reason we don’t have these kinds of conversations in the Metaverse, she thought.
“Takamaki, what have you done?” Akechi scowled. “I really don’t think you understand what a bad idea that was.”
“Look,” she said. “Something has to give here. And Akira likes you. He really does. I’ve never seen him as animated as when he’s talking about you. His entire face lights up.” She wasn’t going to get into them knowing about Akechi’s plans. It wasn’t her place. She wouldn’t put Akira at risk like that. But she could do this much. “So maybe just…try talking to him? You never know, maybe things will work out better than you’re expecting.”
__________________________________________
The second they stepped through the cafe’s door, Ann began to worry that maybe she had very badly miscalculated something somewhere along the line.
“YOU!!!” a visibly upset Akira howled, lunging toward the door, and Akechi. Ann threw herself to the side, leaving Akechi to face Akira alone.
“Coward!” Akechi called, catching Akira’s wrists and holding him back. “I told you that your plan was a bad idea, and now you won’t even deal with the consequences of your actions?!”
“LADY ANN!!!” Morgana shouted, launching himself from the counter into Ann’s arms. “What did you do??? I think you broke Akira!”
“I…I don’t…” Ann stammered. “I don’t know! All I did was send him a couple of teasing texts. I didn’t think he’d react like this! I don’t know where I could have gone wrong!”
“Maybe it was when you started sticking your nose into business that didn’t concern you?” Akechi snarled. “You should have just left well enough alone!”
“But…”
“YOU’RE MY RIVAL! Mine!!! Not Makoto’s!!!” Akira growled. “You…you…!” And then he was furiously kissing Akechi.
“Oh. Oh wow, yeah. I broke him,” Ann said, slowly backing away towards the door, Morgana clutched tightly in her arms. “We should probably go.”
“Go?! You want to leave them alone together???”
“Would you really rather stay?” Ann asked, waving a hand toward the boys. Akechi growled into the kiss, grabbed the front of Akira’s shirt, and pushed him until his back was against the front wall. Akira let out a desperate whine, and pushed back up into the kiss.
“...good point. Get us out of here, and I’ll go spend the night at Futaba’s house. I should probably tell her to turn her bugs off, anyway. If she hasn’t already,” Morgana decided, resigned.
“...bugs?”
“You don’t want to know,” Morgana said. “Trust me.”
The two quickly made their escape, splitting up and vowing never to speak of what they had accidentally started.
__________________________________________
The next morning, Ann woke to her phone chiming non-stop. The group chat had several missed messages, and Ann had a pretty good idea what that conversation was about. She took a deep breath to steel herself, and opened up the chat thread.
[Totally Not the Phantom Thieves]
Joker: calling an emergency meeting this afternoon.
Skull: for real? dude we just met up yestrday!!!11!! what emergnc happned in the past 12 hrs???
Noir: An emergency meeting? Oh my. Is everything okay?
Oracle: i bet it has something to do with what happened last night B(
Queen: Why? What happened last night?
Oracle: why don’t you ask panther? if she’s not too busy stirring the pot
you ma’am are a monster - just pure evil
Panther: I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m completely, 100% innocent!
…but also, in my defense I did not expect things to escalate the way they did. Things got out of hand very quickly.
Oracle: you know i can pull your text history, right?
warn a girl next time! >:(
i have gained forbidden knowledge
i have heard things that i can never unhear
Fox: Was there some sort of cooking accident?
Oracle: …inari
Fox: …yes?
Queen: Panther? Stirring a pot? Wait, what happened?! What did she do?!
Joker: …there’s been a slight change of plans.
does the name masayoshi shido sound familiar to anyone?