Chapter Text
Charles stretches his arms groaning the sleep out of him. The alarm is still going off and he reaches his hand out of the covers to turn it off. He turns to face the other side of the bed. Empty. As it’s been the past 2 weeks.
He misses waking up next to the warmth that was Max’s body. At least before he didn’t even need that stupid alarm. Max would wake up early enough to fill his face with kisses and Charles would happily open his eyes. Maybe, sometimes, if he was feeling like it Max would get on top of him kissing his neck, Charles waking up with soft groans.
But that didn’t matter anymore. He had lost Max and he couldn’t even blame him for it.
Kicking the covers with his feet, he turned his whole body and placed his feet on the cold floor. Shivers filled his body and he got up taking a few steps and opening the bedroom door.
He made himself coffee and decided that for the first time in 2 weeks he would sit on the balcony to drink it. It used to be his and Max’s thing. Whenever in Monaco they would spend their whole morning in the balcony drinking coffee and talking about everything and anything. He hadn’t dared to step there since the break up.
Slowly opening the glass door he stepped outside and dragged one of the chairs so he could sit down. He stared at the other chair and he could still picture Max in his head sitting there laughing at Charles that had spilled his coffee all over himself just 1 month ago. He shook the memory from his head.
Taking a sip from his coffee he grimaced. It was still too hot. When Max made him coffee he would always blow at it a little so it wasn’t too warm for Charles tongue but out of habit Charles didn’t do it.
Fuck even with something as normal as his morning routine he couldn’t get Max out of his head. He wondered if it was the same for him. He wondered if Max was terrified to get out of his house too incase they bumped into each other. If Max missed the way Charles would always throw his leg around Max’s body at night. The way Charles would sit on the kitchen counter and watch Max make the coffees not helping him because Max made the best coffee.
Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was much happier without Charles moodiness. Without Charles constant urge to start a fight when his day wasn’t going well. When his team was fucking everything up and Charles brought that to home. Even after they had promised they would never do that.
It was a long time coming, Charles thought. He could feel it since the previous season. The way after every team fuck-up of his, he would snap at Max. The way Max got tired of comforting him after some time. The way the winter break fixed some problems but Max was still telling him he was pushing himself too much. The way one day in January Max had begged him to take 5 days off and come with him to Belgium. The way the season had started not the way Charles wanted bringing old habits back. The way they fought the whole way back from Australia. Screaming battles in a small jet where they couldn’t possibly go away from each other. And finally back in Monaco some days later Max telling him that this isn’t working.
Charles deserved it he knows. But it feels unfair how Max left everything they had build since 2019 go down the drain with a simple ‘this isn’t working out anymore Charles. We’re hurting each other’. Maybe Charles had allowed that to happen a long time ago and Max was the only one holding on.
Charles sighed and opened his phone. He first went to twitter and liked a few posts. Everyone was excited for the upcoming race after the 3 weeks break and Charles felt the same way. He was excited to get back in the car. The team had promised they would bring upgrades and he felt like a little kid on Christmas day. He wished they wouldn’t disappoint him again.
He had to admit though as excited as he was, he was dreading the next race. It’s easy to hide in the apartment in Monaco and only go to the gym and the grocery store but it would be hard to hide from Max in the paddock. He knows he would have to see him someday but Charles wasn’t ready yet.
He closed twitter going to his messages in case someone had texted him while he was asleep. The only unread texts being Pierre asking him if he’s feeling alright and Lorenzo telling him to stop mopping around.
He replied to Pierre telling him that he’s feeling as well as he can adding a heart at the end. He didn’t want Pierre to worry but he also couldn’t straight up lie to him. Pierre would know anyways. Ending a 4 year relationship isn’t easy. Charles is allowed to feel shitty,
He texted Lorenzo back complaining to leave him to deal with his break up as he wishes. He send a second text telling Lorenzo to have fun in his trip and to not worry too much about him.
He then went to instagram lazily scrolling while drinking his now colder coffee. He opened some stories. George was in the gym yesterday and he let everyone know by posting a shirtless mirror picture. Charles laughed at his friend and continued clicking. A lot of boring stories of peoples days and a few happy couples that made Charles want to throw up.
Lando’s story caught his attention. He was at Jimmy’s yesterday. Charles rolled his eyes at the man that was out clubbing one day before they had to leave for Azerbaijan. He shook the negative feelings away, who was he to judge Lando’s decisions? He watched the story and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the familiar blonde hair.
Of fucking course. Lando was out last night clubbing with Max. Max had ended up in the DJ spot and from Lando’s story, he could only see his side profile. That didn’t hide Max’s smile though.
Charles felt sick once again. He placed his coffee on the table and took a few deep breaths. The man could at least pretend to be sad for 1 month before being on people’s stories smiling. Didn’t their relationship mean anything to him? Charles was fuming. The phone he had a strong grip on started ringing bringing him out of his trace. He looked at the caller ID and saw it was Fred’s. What did he want now
“Yeah?” Charles answered the phone and cringed at his words. He shouldn’t be talking at his team principal in that tone.
“Charles good morning did I wake you up? I know your flight is tomorrow I just wanted to check that everything is alright?” Fred asked. He didn’t know about Charles relationship but he had noticed that something had changed in their last meeting. He didn’t use to make this calls to ‘check up’ on Charles but this past few weeks they have been constant.
“Everything alright thank you. I’m ready for the flight tomorrow, I’ll see you there right?” Charles replied now more calm than when he first answered the call.
“Great yes. If you need me anything Charles just call me. For whatever reason doesn’t have to just be race related. I’ll see you tomorrow”
“Yup right. Thanks. See you tomorrow” Charles said and ended the call. He rubbed his eyes with one hand and stood up getting back in the house. Going out there was a bad idea after all
“Where the fuck is it” Charles said to himself going around the kitchen. He was looking for ham to put in his sandwich that he was making as a snack but apparently he had run out of it. He cursed again. If it was any other day he would had found an alternative for his snack but right now with how moody he was he just wanted ham.
He took his keys put his shoes on and decided to go to the grocery store. He walked to it enjoying the fresh air of Monaco and he thought he should do it more often. Walking really helped his nerves to calm down.
When inside the grocery store he found the ham and continued walking around for anything else he might need. He didn’t want to get a lot of things considering he was leaving tomorrow. He grabbed a drink to have with his lunch and turned around to go to the cashier when he bumped into someone. He apologized and looked at the person.
Of fucking course. Because who else would he bump to at the local grocery store at 5:00pm? Max Verstappen. Knowing him he probably woke up some time ago and came here in his pjs to find something for his hungover. Not that he cared. If he had a hungover it was for sure deserved.
“Oh” Max said looking at the slightly shorter man.
“Yeah sorry again” Charles said and tried to pass Max without another word
“Have you prepared for the trip tomorrow?” Max asked
What the fuck. He will scream at him in this grocery store. Why was he trying to make small talk. Doesn’t he realize he’s talking to his ex right now? That man will make him lose his mind.
“Yeah.” Charles replied as simply as he could to end the conversation there.
“Good good. I have a headache I hope it’ll leave by tomorrow or the flight will be a pain in the ass” Max continued while grabbing a red bull from the shelf.
Charles rolled his eyes at the man not only for his stupid choices on what to put in his body after a hungover but also for the fact he’s continuing that conversation.
“Right maybe partying a day before your trip isn’t smart” Charles said not able to keep his mouth shut.
Max glared at him raising his eyebrows
“Lando’s story” Charles added
“Right yeah. That fucker posted that.” Max said awkwardly laughing
“Yeah I understood how much you valued our relationship from that” Charles said
Max looked at him confused “Charles what the fuck? You want to talk about valuing relationships right now?” He said starting to get mad
Charles rolled his eyes “At least I don’t go out partying after I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years only 2 weeks ago” He said in a low voice. He didn’t need everyone in this grocery store to know about his problems.
Max took a deep breath holding everything in him to not start yelling right now. “Go pay for you stuff and we can talk about this somewhere more private”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” Charles said getting by Max purposely bumping his shoulder.
Max grabbed his wrist stopping him “Then don’t start new problems if you don’t want to talk about them. Don’t we have enough of them already?” he said getting a bit too close to Charles face
“ ‘We’ don’t have any problems. I have my own. You have your own. We broke up remember? Now let go I want to go have my lunch” Charles said
Max let go of his wrist “You’re so stubborn you know that? Like you had any right to tell me how to deal with the breakup”
“I’m sure getting black out drunk was the way to go”
“I’m sure locking myself in my apartment ignoring my friends is way smarter” Max shoot back
“Fuck you Verstappen” Charles said storming off to the cashier leaving Max behind the same way Max left him 2 weeks ago.
Charles went back to his apartment closing the door a bit harder than needed and throwing his stuff at the kitchen counter. He kicked the counter with his leg and winched at the pain he felt. At least it wasn’t worse than the pain he felt inside.
He rolled his eyes at his thoughts. Were all humans this miserable when breaking up? He had never felt that way before. Though the last time he broke up with someone he was 18 years old so he’s not sure if that relationship ever counted. He certainly wasn’t in love back then.
His phone screen turned on and he could see someone had texted him. He opened his phone
Max 5:17 p.m.
you’re being unfair. i never told you how to deal with your feelings and you’re attacking me for my decisions?
Charles 5:20 p.m.
i don’t want to talk about it max
i was just hurt seeing you out and
it made me think of the breakup
and wonder how we ended up like
that.
Max 5:22 p.m.
who let our relationship end up like that
charles?
Charles turned off his phone. He knew he deserved that but it still didn’t feel fair. It takes two for a relationship to end and he knows he was being terrible this past few months but Max wasn’t a saint either.
He wasn’t the only one screaming his lungs out at 3:00am. He wasn’t the only one giving the silent treatment refusing to talk about his feelings.
He certainly never took his pillow and left their room to sleep on the couch because he couldn’t look at the other in the face. He never left home after a fight to stay over at his friends house because he preferred it over staying with his boyfriend and dealing with their problems.
And Charles knew most of their fights started because of him. He knew it, he wasn’t stupid. But he can’t take the whole blame.
He ate his snack and finally went to his room to pack his suitcase. He had an early flight tomorrow and he wouldn’t want to be doing this at 6:00am. He picked a hoodie out and placed it in the suitcase. He looked at it for a second and immediately took it out and threw it across his room.
Yeah, yeah. Of course with his luck when blindly picking out clothes he had to pick Max’s hoodie. Because what more could go wrong today? He stared at the hoodie across the room like that piece of clothing was the root of all his problems.
He sighed and got up from the floor to go pick the hoodie up. He held it close to his chest and dared to smell it. He sighed in content and placed it back in the suitcase. It wasn’t weird taking on a trip with him his ex’s hoodie. Right?
Later that night when he was in bed Charles made the mistake to scroll through his photos on his phone. He looked at every picture with him and Max. Their smiles, their eyes bright from happiness. The way Max was kissing his cheek or the sneaky photos Charles had of Max doing everyday things like making pancakes.
He sobbed in his pillow, the tears soothing him to sleep his last thought before sleeping being Max. It was always Max. It’ll never be anyone else. Only him.
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