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Dick didn’t mind grabbing lunch with Tim on his break. The CEO had more flexible time on his hands than Dick did, so meeting up at a café with outdoor seating on a rare sunny day was the perfect addition to his Thursday double.
“Dude, you’re gonna be too dead to go out tonight,” Tim hummed as he leaned back and took a bite of his sandwich, “Anything you want me to take care of?”
“Yeah, actually, I got some leads that are in my Gotham apartment,” Dick hummed, “Mind swinging by and picking them up for me?”
“Hey! Hey, Officer!”
Tim blinked and looked over at the shaggy black haired man across the café as he waved frantically at his brother.
“Yeah?” Dick called back with a playful grin.
Tim watched in slow motion as the man pulled a bag of roasted peanuts from his pocket. The man chucked the nut across the patio, trying to assault his brother with peanuts.
Dick didn’t flinch as he moved to catch the peanut with his mouth.
Tim was lying if he said he wasn’t impressed.
“Hey, man, thanks for the snack!”
Tim paired up with Jason to take down a minor operation operating out of the Diamond District without much hassle at all.
“I watched a random dude chuck peanuts at Nightwing today during our lunch date,” Tim said over comms as he cracked his staff down across a thug’s shoulders.
“Dude, you’re not going to believe me,” Jason called back as he shot someone in the thigh and kicked them to the ground, “But Dick and I were at the fucking mall and this twinky goth chucked a handful of peanuts at Dick too!”
“Pale, blue eyes, messy black hair?”
“Yeah!” Jason snorted as he roundhouse kicked a nearby thug, “That’s the bitch.”
“Dude, what the fuck?” Tim whispered to himself.
Dick had meant Danny years ago under slightly unfavourable circumstances when Circus Gothica came to town, and Dick desperately wanted to meet the Grim Reaper on the trapeze and tightrope because having a robe that extended down to his feet and over the cord below, yet still effortlessly moving back and forth. It was an incredible accomplishment that not even the Graysons were willing to risk.
The man beneath the hood was hot as fuck, and the shine of his fluffy white hair and red eyes screamed fucking meta.
The dark confidence of the performer won him over, and the grim reaper, or, rather, Danny Phantom, managed to find time in the few days he was in Gotham in between rigorous performances to take him on dates.
Dick finally found someone he could discuss circus things with, and when Danny was able to perform a quadruple somersault, Dick swore he would marry the man.
Even though they weren’t his fair grounds, it felt like there was nothing more emotional or romantic to Dick than hanging out with Danny, wandering the fairground, and fucking around on the different equipment. He couldn’t remember who threw the first peanut, but he knew that the second he caught one in his mouth, that it had become their thing.
When it came time for circus Gothica to move on, Dick handed over his contact info to make sure that he would text.
“Sure, Circus Peanuts, I’ll be in touch,” Danny smirked.
Two days later, and Dick was face-timing a boy with black hair, blue eyes, and a sweet smile who told him all about how he was so sorry about Circus Gothica, and how the Ringmaster was an evil bastard that was mind controlling him.
“Any time without active orders was all me, though,” Danny promised.
The simples in his cheeks told Dick he was being honest, and even if he wasn’t, Dick was far too smitten by the man he was going to marry to give a flying fuck.
Well, maybe just one.
Flying Grayson and all that.
Also Flying Boyfriend and all that.
It was at least a little funny to Dick that the only person capable of performing a quadruple somersault happened to be dead.
Danny spent a stupid amount of time flying back and forth between Amity Park ad Gotham, enough that the ghosts figured out that Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday were off limits for attacking, and god couldn’t save the ghost that fucked up and attacked on one of those days. Those were Date Days, and the Infinite Realm treated them much the same as the Christmas truce.
Dick had never been so happy to find a partner technically within the hero community. Having someone who operated at all hours and didn't care if the only time you were available was at four in the fucking morning was incredibly refreshing.
They spent so many dates wandering around Gotham that Dick had long since mastered any trick shot Danny could pull when he decided he was going to chuck peanuts at his boyfriend.
It was even funnier when Danny tagged along invisibly on Dick’s patrols only to chuck peanuts at his on-duty boyfriend whenever no one was paying attention.
When Danny first started surprising Dick by announcing his arrival via peanuts, Dick thought it was the funniest shit he’d ever experienced.
“I want them to throw peanuts at the wedding,” Dick had announced after Danny had sprung up behind him and bounced a peanut off of the window of a passing car.
“You wanna get married?” Danny asked hopefully as he slung his arms around Dick’s shoulders. He planted a kiss on Dick’s stubbly cheek.
“Only if instead of rice they chuck peanuts at us,” Dick said as he reached back and poked Danny in the forehead.
Bruce wasn’t happy to be giving a press conference, but given it was for the expansion of the Martha Wayne Foundation partnering with GCPD, he was more than willing to make an exception as he stood proudly next to his oldest son.
“Today, we are ecstatic to announce this partnership with the GCPD, who my kind-hearted son is here on behalf of, in order to sponsor victim shelters throughout the city.”
“On behalf of the Gotham City Police Department, I can say with certainty that we on the force are overjoyed to work in partnership with the Martha Wayne Foundation to open shelters for victims of domestic violence and other victims of violent crimes. This is a service that has had a long standing needing the city, and will relieve a lot of stress from people just needing a safe place to stay and get back on their feet,” Dick grinned as he shook Bruce’s hand.
As the flashes from cameras began to flicker across the stage, Bruce found himself unable to move as someone within the sea of reporters chucked a handful of pebbles at his son.
The grin across Dick’s face grew as he moved around quickly in order to not let a single one hit the stage floor.
If the entirely unnecessary backflip Dick had pulled in order to eat a peanut mid-air and upside down made the evening news, it wasn’t anyone’s business.
“Boys? Do you have any idea who would chuck peanuts at Dick?” Bruce asked in the quiet of the dinner table.
“You too?!” Tim screamed as he pointed the fork in Bruce’s direction.
Damian thought that his family was slowly devolving into delusions, but could not justify the thoughtless conclusion that the so-called peanuts were not real.
However, when he and Richard made their way to the zoo in order to see the latest exhibit of the one of the world’s last Purple Back Gorillas who was here with a caretaker from the Amity Park Zoo, he had not been expected to be pelted with peanuts by the man sitting in the enclosure with the gorilla in the middle of reading the informational sign on Samson.
“Interesting. The one to learn that Samson was a female was a fourteen year old boy named Danny Fenton from Amity Park. Tt. Idiots. Who can’t sex a gorilla?”
Damian looked over at his brother who had the biggest grin across his face as he tapped the picture of a scrawny boy being hugged by Samson.
“Apparently, they tried renaming Samson to Delilah and swapping to female pronouns, but Samson wouldn’t respond to them,” Dick grinned as his eyes flickered between the sign and the enclosure.
Damian scoffed, “Gorillas are incredibly intelligent animals who understand language and are capable of complex communication and self-concepts. It was proven that Purple Back Gorillas were even more intelligent than their other counterparts. It is a travesty that they were hunted to near-extinction.”
Damian blinked in confusion when something small hit him in the forehead and bounced towards Richard who effortlessly snatched it from the air to eat.
“...Was that a peanut?”
“Yup,” Dick nodded as he waved down to the man in the enclosure, “I didn’t know you’d be in town with Samson!”
“Neither did i!” Danny called back with a grin as he chucked another peanut up over the fence, “Sam said that the zoo wanted the guy who befriended Samson to come along!”
“Richard, who is the man throwing peanuts at us?” Damian asked with a barely restrained fury.
“Ah!” Dick chuckled and tapped the picture on the sign, “That’s my boyfriend.”
“Your boyfriend made some of the greatest scientific discoveries of our generation?”
“And he’s great at throwing peanuts,” Dick chuckled as he leaned over the barrier, “Hey! Reaper! Throw me another!”
“Sure thing, Circus Peanuts!” Danny yelled back as he chucked a peanut through the air. He watched his boyfriend catch it effortlessly.
Dick chewed and pulled his little brother towards the staff entrance, “Wanna go meet Samson?”
“Of course I would,” Damian admitted petulantly.
Meeting Danny and subsequently getting hugged and groomed by one of his favourite creatures, and his brand new friend. He received an open invitation to visit or work with his brother’s boyfriend’s best friend’s animal sanctuary should he ever want to.
The Justice League wasn’t ready to admit that they were, perhaps, a little out of their league when creatures from the beyond escaped containment when one of the new members of Justice League Dark fucked up some ancient formation of books on shelf that was holding some great evil at bay.
With Gotham city being one of the lucky cities that found themselves being targeted by the evil spirits, the Bats were swamped.
“How the fuck are we supposed to stop these bastards?!” Jason yelled.
“We don’t,” Tim grunted as he maneuvered his way through abandoned traffic, “We hold out until Dark gets a hold on the situation.”
“And if they can’t?” Dick asked nervously as Wayne Tower seemed to crack and creep forwards.
“Why? Need some help, Circus Peanuts?”
A voice called from above as a white haired man in a black hazmat appeared next to Dick’s bike, tossed a peanut in his direction, and flew up as the building crashed down.
“...Is that Peanut Man?” Jason asked rhetorically.
“That is Nightwing’s boyfriend, Phantom, yes,” Damian called over comms as he watched Wayne Tower bend back in place as a cast of neon blue ice spiked to life around it, keeping it firmly in place.
“Hey, babe!” Dick yelled.
“Man, you wouldn’t believe my day, Circus Peanuts!” Danny yelled back as he flew back down and kept pace with the Robins, “I’ve been flying around fucking America because some idiot released some of the more asshole-ish minions of the Last King.”
“So… we don’t have to worry about these guys anymore?” Tim asked carefully.
Danny scowled, “They know better than to attack on Wednesdays. It’s date night.”
“And what happens if they attack on date nights?” Jason asked curiously as they raced through the city.
Danny just flew ahead of them, pulled out a thermos, and seemed to suck in stray minions without a struggle, “Bad minions get added to the minion soup.”
“Not gonna lie, the fact that he’s sweeping in to save the day is kind of hot.”
“Get your own hot boyfriend who feeds you peanuts, Jay, this one’s all mine.”