Chapter Text
April 14, 2023.
My fellows request that I keep my account as succinct and bereft of detail as possible. The idea of being open- of being transparent, is so utterly unnatural to their state of being that they panic at even a hint of a reveal. I can admit that I was once among their number. I hid my truth so deep within me that truly only a facsimile of a person looked out on the day to day. So empty of purpose, so restricted of mind, I was a puppet being led by the strings of our societies many implied and unspoken rules. This state of being continued for many years. I am 31 years of age currently, and it has only been a few months since my new mindset has been in practice. It is strangely freeing and yet so jarring, opening my soul to others as a cadaver might have the contents of its cavities exposed and inspected by a curious pathologist. My lungs gripped and weighed, my heart sliced into slithers, my gall bladder squeezed – a most intimate of inquiries, where my innards become extruded and open to any eye that should pass by.
I speak around the specifics of the topic because I still struggle with my new viewpoint. It is not just the naïve or the unaware that expose themselves so utterly, but a brave soul who is willing to weather the potential criticism that such openness always attracts. My dear friend, Waltham- he is one such person with a heart so open, no doubt you could visualize every skipped beat, every ill-fated contraction. The liberty with which I operate has been inspired by my good and dear friend. “To speak falsely is to create a defect in the construction of your being.” He is very much entranced by the idea of the Greeks and those figures. The story of Achilles fills him with such turbulent energies his entire being aches with unbridled emotion. Again, my friend is one to romanticize ideas at a moment’s notice. This freedom of expression is what allowed me to live my truth.
My truth is simply this:
I am a murderer and a cannibal in the eyes of the common people. But I consider myself to be an apex predator fulfilling my desires as was always intended.