Chapter Text
Sometimes I honestly wonder if my head is screwed on right. Like yesterday, Maka comes up to me and is doing this weird thing with her feet where and she's twirling her skirt so much that you can almost see her underwear which believe me, would be incredibly uncool, and she's mumbling and muttering, and 98% of the stuff she's saying isn't making sense, since she's mostly just repeating some variant of 'I need to talk to you' or 'I have to confess something', and since I really don't want to see her skirt over her head, I ask her why's she acting so weird. And she kinda stops doing everything she's doing, in mid-doing it, and she looks at me absolutely horrified, and she starts crying and literally runs through the door, which is the strangest thing I've ever seen her do, and I still have no idea why she's done any of the stuff she just did.
And who do I go to to express my confusion? Black*Star. Black*Star. What kind of a moron talks to Black*Star when they're confused? It's a recipe for disaster. Black*Star doesn't know, not that that stops him from guessing. So he tells me she's coming to her senses and she wants to switch partners so she can work with him, because she's in love with him. Not only is this one of the sickening thoughts I've ever had, but I also have to remind the dumbass that they're both meisters. I can't believe he forgot something that basic. Why am I calling myself a moron? He's the moron. I'm more just an idiot. If there is a difference.
But of course Tsubaki knows what's going on with Maka. I mean, duh, they're best friends. Now that I think about it, it's like that cartoon with the people who live in the stone age and one couplet is like a bitchy chick and her equally bitchy husband and then that hot chick (don't tell me you weren't thinkin' it) and her dumbass of a husband, and they're all best friends. That's like the four of us, except we're not married. But Tsubaki calls me 'Baka' and attempts to explain what's going on with Maka. A lot of it is basic stuff. You know, Kishin, Medusa, Crona, exams coming up, normal stuff that Maka's always angsty about, but I can't figure out the rest of it.
'Well, what did she say to you?'
'She said she had to tell me something. Like she had to confess –' oh. OH. Fucking GODDAMNSHIIT.
Yeah, what do you think happens when I go home and try to straighten things out? Yeah, we fight but we always do that. It's like fighting's our way of getting along. That's just how we interact. It's weird. I don't think anyone else argues as much as we do. But yeah, we have the argument. The argument that goes like this:
'I don't want to talk about it, Soul.'
'Oh like Hell you don't.'
'Seriously Soul, just leave me alone.'
'Don't you wanna hear what I have to say?'
'No, not really.'
'Of course not, why did I even bother asking…'
'What's that supposed to mean?'
'Nothing.'
'What does it mean!'
'Nothing! Forget about!'
'Tell me!'
'No! God, you're so impossible to please!'
'Since when have you ever cared about pleasing me?'
'Uhm, guys, dinner is –'
'SHUT UP BLAIR!'
'Don't yell at her! She didn't do anything!'
'Oh yeah, that's right, because I want her to suffocate me all the damn time!'
'Well you don't stop her!'
'She's huge! Like seriously, she's 7 feet tall! I'm 5-foot-10 at the most, what do you expect me to do? Her boobs alone weigh more than I do!'
'Is that some sort of slight against me?'
'How the Hell would it be?'
'Because you're always insulting me!'
'No I'm not! Where do you even get this? What the Hell is wrong with you!'
'Nothing!' At this point, we actually move. Up until now, she's been laying on the couch, reading a book. Now she slams the book on the coffee table and stands up, almost nose to nose with me.
'Like Hell there isn't something wrong! Just tell me, dammit! I'm your partner, don't you trust me!'
'Yes. No. Maybe. Almost!'
'What?'
'I trust you with my life, okay, just not with…other things?'
'Other things? Hey! Don't walk away from me, Little Miss Manners! It's rude!' She punches me, but I deserved it. I grabbed onto her wrist. That's rude, for you. I just wasn't expecting her to punch my face.
Among other things, she starts crying and apologizing. I laugh. I don't know what else to do. I mean, we'd been getting along until today. She goes from acting weird around me – at least now I know why – to beating the shit out of me. All in one day. We are some weird kind of friends.
'Why are you laughing? I just hit you!'
'You're insane!'
'I am not!'
'Oh, shut up Maka. You know I'm not being mean.'
'What? You just called me insane!'
'Well duh. That's how I show affection.' She actually goes hmph at me. Wow. For a tomboy, she can be pretty damn girly when she wants to be.
'As if. You don't care about me.' This conversation is about to get all kinds of ugly and really damn fast.
'How can you say that?'
'You protect me because it's your job. You said so yourself!'
'Well yeah it's my job, but if I really didn't like your or care about you I wouldn't be half as good at it.' It looks like she doesn't understand.
'I don't understand.' What did I tell ya?
'Look, yeah it's my job. I'm a weapon. You use me to protect yourself and other people. But, ya know, if I didn't like you or care about you as much as I did, I'd just be like Tsubaki, and I'd just copy whatever you do, act like a damn tool.'
'Tsubaki cares about Black*Star…'
'Not too much to not hurt him. I mean, the guy is pussy-whipped like you wouldn't believe. Don't get me wrong, I like Tsubaki, but she doesn't protect him from harm.'
'And here I thought you were just practicing extremism.'
'Have you ever known me to do anything to the extreme? I'm lazy as shit. Why would I go the extra mile at my job if I didn't like you so damn much?' She looks like she's gonna cry.
'Do you…do you mean that?'
'Well, yeah, I mean. I don't have any other friends. I'm kinda pathetic. Gotta keep the ones I got.' For some reason, I don't think I'm communicating myself very well. And it shows, because it goes back to her assuming that I don't like her. Like she isn't reading in between the lines. She doesn't get what I mean, just what I'm saying. She has the power to assume the most utterly ridiculous things that I'm honestly not thinking or doing, yet this one time, she can't come to her own damn conclusion. I am shit outta luck.
Well, actually, I wasn't then. But I am now. Because I'm stuck in some damn weird suspended-animation pod thing and I don't even know how I got here. I don't remember being kidnapped but I guess I was, and it's all really trippy. I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore. I think I'll just go back to sleep.