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The band of gold slipped onto her finger easily, as she gently stroked her fingers against the ring. It was as if it had never even been gone. A part of her heart slid back into place as Carina had grabbed the ring from her pocket. She had been sitting there on the bench, waiting for a certain blonde to finish with her shower.
Her mind whirled around with so many thoughts. At the top of the list only one thing screamed out at her. Maya Bishop wanted her. She wanted them and their marriage. She wanted the babies and the house one day. She wanted everything with the Italian.
Those months living with a woman that was a shell of her wife had been terrifying. As she watched Maya slip into this person she barely recognized. Images of her father would flash across her brain in certain moments. She wouldn’t live in that. She couldn’t. It would destroy her this time. Because this time it wasn’t her father. It was her Maya. Her sweet, loving firefighter.
Her Maya, who had become this volatile, lethal weapon of words and snarls lashed out at her for months on end. But somehow the Italian had preferred that over the blonde not being at home at all. Those nights filled with dark silence. Nobody to hold her, just her memories of what those strong arms felt like. Of soft lips that would kiss her away on those early days after arriving home from a long shift. The morning sky peaking through the curtains, shades of orange and yellow. But the only color that ever mattered to Carina was blue. Those blue eyes that would shift through so many different shades of emotion in the quick of the moment.
Eyes that had gazed at her so lovingly before.
Eyes that she had lost. No longer blue. They were gray and dull, lifeless. Carina had been so scared.
She was certain that day in the hospital she had lost her for good. That her wife would never return to her. She was decidedly alone once more in this life.
Her Mamma was gone. Andrea was gone. Maya was gone.
Or so she thought.
Because Maya Bishop was no quitter. Never had been. She’d been fighting, putting in the hard work with Diane. She still saw Diane, regularly.
The only problem was that Carina continued to find it difficult that Maya would be doing this for her. That Maya's motivation was their marriage. Their love.
The lieutenant had been slowly winning her back. With dates and flowers and the sweetest texts.
Carina still couldn’t get their little rendezvous in the shower out of her head. Or that night at the hotel for that matter. They had put that bed to good use.
She wanted to fall back into those arms, to just let Maya catch her. But dio mio was she was afraid. What if those arms snatched themselves away again? What if the brunette was left with nothing more than the precipice of a cliff she’d go plunging down into. Down into nothingness, to the dark of the abyss. She’d never pull herself out of there again.
She knew Maya was putting in the work. The pride she felt swell around her heart whenever the blond would bring up therapy, the vulnerability so clear in those wide blue eyes, was vast.
But her father had had good days too. Good months, years even. She felt like she was going crazy, being ridiculous for not just giving in. She was scared, so scared.
And then a light switched on.
Maya didn’t step up to become captain again.
It was a subject they had talked about very briefly a few days prior when Maya had informed her of Beckett’s decision to not return back to his rank. A hesitant question that had slipped from her mouth without thinking. She just wanted to know if Maya would be interested to throw her hat in the ring if that’s where the path was leading to find a new captain.
Maya had gazed off in thought for a moment before she shook her head.
‘I don’t think so. I don’t think I’m ready for that right now.’
And that had been it. A simple sentence that Carina had quickly pushed away. They were quite literally in bed, sans clothes, coming down from the high of a little afternoon delight; so to speak. The conversation had turned quickly back to Carina’s own day at work and they had carried on.
The Italian didn’t want to claim she hadn’t believed Maya’s words. But she had been unsure if the blonde would’ve actually gone through with the thought when put to real life.
But Maya had gone through with her statement. She hadn’t stepped forward, she felt that she wasn’t ready and she had done the healthy thing in standing back away from the chaos that had ensued all day. At least that’s what she had heard from Jack when they returned from the call. Andy, Theo, and Sullivan had all acted like children fighting over a toy.
Maya was getting better for them, for Carina, for herself.
‘There’s something she wants more.’
Those had been Ben’s words. And they had not left her brain for the rest of the day.
Maya loved her. She could see that, every time those blue eyes stared at her. Every kiss. Every touch. All of it full of love.
So when Andy told her that Maya had been sent home for the day, as well as several reassurances that the blonde was ok and it was just good protocol to send her off, she had to stop herself from leaping up the stairs.
Her heart felt light for the first time in months as the wedding ring sat where it belonged. She played with it out of habit until she heard the shower water turn off.
She squirmed out of nervousness for a moment before she took a deep breath. She had made up her mind. She was going home.
___
They seemed to not be able to get home fast enough. They had giggled and could barely keep away from one another as they stumbled into the front lobby of the apartment building.
Carina grinned when the blonde had pushed her up against the wall of the elevator, The dangerous exchanging of kisses and roaming hands would’ve scandalized anybody that would’ve happened to join them.
Thankfully at the late hour they had been alone.
At the ding of the door, Carina bit her lip as she took Maya’s hand into her own. At the slight tug, the blonde happily followed her wife out. Carina was practically vibrating as she stood behind her firefighter, the nervous jiggling of Maya’s keys eliciting more giggles.
“Hurry, bambina ,” she teased. The click of the lock finally sounded and the Olympian pushed open the door fully. Carina was about to step through before Maya took a hold of her right hand.
“Wait, wait I… I wanna do something first,” the blonde said with a soft smile. She took a breath and switched over to only holding her left hand.
Blue eyes drifted down and her own fingers slid against the gold band now situated back on Carina’s finger. Maya had noticed in the car and hadn’t stopped thinking about it.
Carina watched with rapt attention, deep chocolate pools took in the woman in front of her in wonderment.
“Can I?” Maya asked softly as she looked back up to her wife. A smile and a nod let Maya know they were on the same page.
The firefighter slipped the ring from Carina’s finger and closed her fist around it for a moment. She let herself feel the weight of it, her hand rose to her heart as she dropped down to one knee.
Carina was trying her hardest not to let the tears flow from her eyes.
Blue eyes popped back open,
“I love you Carina Deluca. With everything I have. You are my forever. I want to have it all with you and I never thought I’d want that with someone in my whole life. The kids, the house, a dog maybe. All of it,” she let out a soft chuckle. “I want to wake up to you every morning and be the one to hold you at night when we go to sleep. I promise to protect you and be there for you. To remind you how beautiful you are and feel so lucky that you’re mine. I promise to love you every single day,” And with the final sentence Maya slipped that ring right back onto Carina’s hand. A soft kiss pressed to her knuckles as she smiled up at her wife.
“I love you too, bella . So much,” Carina whispered. “Now take me to bed,” she smiled.
“Yes ma’am,” Maya grinned and stood.
Before she realized what was happening, the blonde had dipped down and easily lifted her into her arms.
“Wow, so strong lieutenant,” Carina’s teasing smirk could not be hidden as Maya carried her right over the threshold.
“You love it, Deluca,” Maya said right back as she kicked the door closed.
An aroused tingle shocked Carina right down her spine at the confident woman in front of her.
“That’s Deluca-Bishop,” Carina smiled.
“Deluca-Bishop,” Maya said dreamily as she gently set the brunette’s feet back down on the ground. She wrapped an arm around Carina’s waist and tugged her close.
Lips crashed together, soft moans could be heard as tongues teased one another.
Carina cupped Maya’s face and pulled her into a passionate kiss. She shoved her tongue right into the blonde’s mouth, not having any patience for the teasing at the moment.
The pair stumbled their way through the dark hall as they barely broke apart for air.
Maya had barely been able to flip on the hallway light before shoes went flying, jackets torn away from one another’s bodies. Now lying on the wooden floor.
The blonde had once more easily displayed her strength and took Carina under her thighs. Long legs wrapped around her waist, a sharp gasp let out, as the firefighter pushed her wife up against the wall just to the side of their bedroom door.
Carina tangled her fingers into blonde locks and pulled her into a deep kiss.
“Off,” the brunette murmured as hands quickly rid Maya of her t-shirt. Nimble fingers also easily unhooked the bra from her frame. Carina giggled as her wife stood there with a bare torso holding her up.
“Unfair, you have too many clothes on,” Maya’s voice came out husky.
“Then do something about it, bambina ,” Carina licked her lips and teasingly ran her hand down the center of the blonde’s chest. Nipples hardened at the sensitive touch.
A deep moan rose from the firefighter as she carried the Italian into their room. She tossed the woman onto the bed with a smirk.
Brunette curls were tousled perfectly as Carina leaned up onto her elbows, dark brown eyes gazed at her wife lustfully.
“Sit up,” Maya said as she stood at the end of the bed. The blonde cupped her wife’s face and gently traced her thumbs against her cheekbones, down her jaw and pulled her into another kiss. A tongue poked out to swipe against plump lips as Carina granted her access to her mouth. Similar to before Maya was able to rid the doctor of her shirt while barely missing a beat. Fingernails drew light lines along a smooth tan back as Maya took in the lack of a bra.
Carina now sat up fully, her feet on the ground and she pulled Maya to stand between her legs. The air sparked with electricity between them as brown connected with blue. The Italian delighted in the arousal that swirled around her wife’s baby blues. Her pupils blown as irises darkened.
Hands took up residence on Maya’s ass a moment later and a playful grin danced across her face as Carina tugged her even closer.
“I love your ass, bella ,” the accent thick as she squeezed the flesh below her grasp.
“It’s all yours,” Maya whispered back as she ran her fingers through Carina’s thick hair.
Carina rested her chin against the middle of Maya’s chest to stare up at her for a moment.
“Tutto mio,” uttered into the comfort of the room before the Italian turned to run her lips against a full breast. Her hands squeezed once more as an agile tongue circled Maya’s nipple with precision. Just as Maya was about to beg for more, she took a sharp intake of breath when Carina’s lips wrapped around a hard bud. Teeth grazed against her before being soothed with a gentle suck. Maya moaned as Carina switched her ministrations to her other boob.
The blonde barely even noticed when she had lost her pants, but she felt the warmth of Carina’s touch against her ass cheek when she slipped graceful fingers under her boyshorts.
Carina’s need for her wife grew as she played with her breasts, the gasps and moans made her skin tingle. Her own panties surely soaked through by now.
She shuffled back slightly and pulled her wife forward so the blonde tumbled down onto the bed. Fits of giggles and kisses pressed to Carina’s neck and jaw as Maya hovered above her now made her sigh softly. She let the lieutenant have her fun for a moment as Maya stripped the Italian’s pants away as well so they were on an even playing field.
A teasing hand glided down Carina’s toned stomach to the much hungered for destination that laid beneath a red lacey thong. But the doctor had other plans as her hand shot out to grasp Maya’s wrist.
“Uh uh, Lieutenant,” she smirked, throwing the blonde’s rank around in bed always made for lots of fun. “It’s my turn right now,” and with a surprising show of her own strength, Carina flipped them over.
She now straddled the blonde’s hips as she looked down at her firefighter with a glazed over, lustful look. Her wife was sculpted by the gods, there was no question about it.
“Sei bella, sei forte, sei tenace, ” Carina whispered as she admired the beauty of this woman before her. She ran her hands down the blonde’s front before leaning down to connect their lips. She cupped that strong jaw and their tongues tangled together.
Maya’s own hands ran up tan thighs and cupped the brunette’s ass.
Carina ran her lips down to a pale neck, she nipped at her pulse point and shivered at the whines she pulled from her wife. She situated herself so she was straddling the blonde’s thigh, and her own was pressed up against Maya’s covered center.
The Italian returned to playing with her firefighter’s sensitive chest, one hand fondled at a hard nipple while her mouth worked on the other teasingly. Hips bucked as Maya strained to grind her pussy against the strong thigh pressed up against her.
“Carina,” the blonde moaned out as she longed for more direct friction. Her senses were on fire.
“What do you want, bambina? ” the doctor whispered into Maya’s ear, she tugged at an earlobe with her teeth and grinned as her wife arched up into her touch.
“You, please babe,” Maya begged.
“Be more specific, Maya.”
“Fuck…” the blonde whined. “Fuck me, please Carina. I need you.”
Carina grinned as her dark eyes trained on her wife’s profile. Delicate fingers skimmed down Maya’s front before sliding into her underwear, slick folds met her touch. She felt as though her heart could beat out of her chest at the look of utter pleasure that washed over her wife’s features.
“How do you feel, bella? ”
“Amazing.”
Teasing fingers ran circles around a stiff clit before pushing inside of velvety walls. Maya gasped at the stretch as Carina began to thrust into her wife.
The brunette shimmied herself down far enough so she could return her mouth to her full breast. Teeth grazed against a hard nipple before sucking hard, thrusts sped up and the pairing was dynamically close to pushing Maya right over the edge.
Every little gasp, every moan and jolt of Maya’s body let Carina know how close she was to orgasm. She had learned to read her wife like she was the most beautiful piece of poetry that had ever been presented on this earth.
She learned something new every time her eyes scanned over the details, new lines popping out at her to give new meaning to the beauty. She’d never get tired of reading her wife.
So when she expertly shifted her hand so her thumb pressed against her sensitive clit as she filled her wife over and over, coupled with the continuous teasing of her mouth on her boob, she delighted in being able to feel her wife come apart under her.
Maya’s chest rose and fell in deep breaths as her orgasm washed over her body.
“Ti amo, bambina. Ti amo tanto, ” Carina whispered into her ear as she held her wife close. She gently pulled her fingers from the blonde’s underwear and before the doctor’s brain could even process it, Maya’s blue eyes had popped open. Fingers wound around a tan wrist and a wet tongue wrapped itself around Carina’s fingers.
Pupils were wide with arousal as Carina watched her wife lick her fingers clean of her own essence.
“Naughty girl,” her accent thick now.
“You love it,” Maya grinned back at her.
Maya quickly broke from her orgasm haze to flip them over, a smirk on her features as she pushed her wife into the bed.
“Mmm, so strong,” Carina giggled.
“I’m gonna make you scream for me,” the lieutenant murmured into Carina’s ear, and then she crawled down the Italian’s body.
Carina groaned and her legs spread to accommodate the woman. The blonde slowly pulled her panties down those long, tan legs. She then settled her hands on either side of Carina’s hips and pressed a kiss to the middle of her chest.
Hot, open mouthed kisses were spread over her breasts and Maya slowly worked her way down the brunette’s stomach before she laid onto her stomach between her legs.
Arms wrapped around thighs and she tugged the brunette fully toward her. The heady scent of her wife’s arousal made her head spin. She’d never take the sight of her beautiful wife for granted. Neatly trimmed dark curls lead her down to the vision of her wife’s soaked cunt.
“So wet, baby,” Maya’s voice husky as she licked her lips, ready for her meal.
“All for you,” Carina murmured as her hips bucked toward her wife, needing her mouth so badly. Maya’s devilish little grin sent a shiver down her spine.
Before anything else could be said, the firefighter dove into her wife’s pussy.
Her tongue ran through slick folds with a deep moan at the taste of the brunette. Carina’s back arched as her fingers immediately buried themselves into Maya’s blonde locks.
“Aye, dio mio, ” Carina gasped out. She turned her head to bury her face into the pillow as pleasure overtook her entire body. Nothing else occupied her mind besides her wife eating her out hungrily.
Dark blue eyes gazed up at her wife as she bucked into her in pleasure. She could feel a gush of arousal come from her own center as she shoved her tongue into her wife, eliciting a high pitched whine and muttering of Italian curses.
The blonde alternated between thrusts of her tongue and harsh sucks to her sensitive clit. She loved to work her wife up so close to falling off the edge before she pulled her pleasure away just enough.
The tug to her hair let her know of Carina’s frustration, she strained to be closer to her wife’s mouth. Maya decided she’d take mercy as she wrapped her lips around her clit and sucked hard until Carina came hard into her mouth.
She lapped up everything the brunette had to offer as she helped her to come down from her high. Soft kisses were pressed to the inside of her thighs before she crawled back up the brunette’s lithe body.
“Ciao,” Maya whispered with that devious smirk.
Chocolate pools blinked back open as the orgasm fog lifted, the smiling face of her wife made her heart beat wildly with love.
“Ciao,” she said before she pulled the firefighter down to connect their lips. She moaned as she could taste herself on Maya’s tongue.
The blonde shifted off to the side as they broke apart. She laid down next to her wife and Carina almost immediately turned on her side towards Maya. The brunette wound her arms around a slim waist, while Mayas went around Carina’s shoulders. A gentle kiss was pressed to dark curls as the Italian curled herself up right below Maya’s chin. Their bodies melded together like two puzzle pieces. Legs tangled and gentle fingers stroked against soft skin.
“I love you so much,” Maya said softly into the comfortable silence of the room.
“I love you too,” Carina whispered back and pressed a kiss right over the blonde’s heart.
They laid there for a while longer before the brunette looked back up into those blue eyes. Eyes that held so much love, so much devotion. Butterflies flitted around in her stomach as Maya stared at her.
“I’m proud of you,” Carina ran her fingers along the defined jaw.
“You are?” was whispered.
“Of course, bambina ,” she curled in closer. “You’ve been working so hard on yourself and.. And us.” a soft smile graced her face.
“It’s just…”
“What is it?” the soft encouragement had Maya take a breath before powering on.
“Are you sure you wanna be here? Because well… you sort of had a breakdown the last time you were here,” Maya’s brow furrowed. “And.. and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable and I didn’t think you’d want to come back here ever and, and, um..” Carina could see the panic start to rise in those blue eyes. She cupped her jaw fully and pressed their foreheads together.
“Hey, hey take a breath,” Carina directed her gently. Maya nodded and took a few centering intakes of air. It took a moment but her heart rate calmed back down.
“I’m sorry,” Maya said shyly as she ducked her head down.
“No, none of that,” Carina dipped her chin back up. “Don’t be sorry for your feelings.”
Maya nodded after a moment and continued. “Before, you freaked out being here. So I just.. I guess I don’t fully understand.”
“You’re my home, bambina. And it will take time for me to readjust. I know I’m being… confusing right now,” she took her own breath. “But I just… I can’t be away from you anymore. I don’t want to be. I was holding onto my fear, my trepidation to fully let you back in. And I can’t anymore,” she shook her head as tears sprang to her eyes.
Maya listened intently and gently swiped her thumb over those dark eyes to catch a fallen tear.
“It’s time I let myself acknowledge how much work you’ve been doing and I’m sorry I couldn’t just… let myself before,” she said shakily.
“Don’t apologize, I put you through… so much,” Maya sighed. “I understand why you’d be hesitant, really I do. But I need you to know that you’re my priority,” her tone was full of love.
“Yea?” Carina whispered, a teary smile appeared.
“Yes. And I’m sorry I lost sight of that, but I promise you’ve always been the most important thing in my life,” gentle fingers stroked against a tan cheek. “I didn’t step forward to be captain today because I know that’s not where I need to be right now. I still have a lot of healing to do, and I know everything isn’t just magically fixed between us now. That’s still gonna take time.”
The pride shone in Carina’s eyes like starlight as she listened to her wife.
“And if you didn’t notice that whole thing is a mess of drama,” Maya joked to break the tension. Carina’s giggle was something the blonde would happily listen to forever.
“Oh I heard,” Carina shook her head playfully. “Like three children fighting over a toy.”
“Yea, the call today was such a mess,” Maya puffed out a breath at the thought before she got serious once more. “You are what I want most in life. I love you with my entire self. And if that means not being captain, then so be it,” Maya shrugged.
“No,” Carina’s voice suddenly hardened as a frown appeared.
“Huh?”
“I don’t… that’s not what I want,” Carina said and ran her fingers through blonde locks.
“You… you want me to be captain?” Maya asked, confused.
“Si . One day, when you’re ready again,” the brunette nodded with wide eyes. “I’m so proud of you, bambina . Proud that you can recognize that now isn’t the right time. That for your mental well being it’s not right to step forward. But that doesn’t mean I never want you to be captain again,” her tone was strong now.
“Really?”
“I don’t ever want you to push away your ambition because of me, Maya. I just want you to be healthy and happy. I want to be that first priority in your life, but absolutely not the only one,” she tilted her head to the side as she studied her wife for a moment. “One of the things that attracted me to you right off the bat was the passion you have for your job.”
“Not my ass?” Maya asked playfully.
“Well your ass was the first thing,” Carina grinned. “But I saw how hard you worked, how good you were at your job. And I adored that.”
“Oh,” Maya said softly, a light blush appeared across her cheeks.
“I can’t wait to see you take on SFD again, I know one day you’ll be Chief. You’re Maya Bishop, for gods sake. And I need you to know that just because you’re prioritizing you and your health right now, never means I want you to give up on your career. Va bene? ”
“Si, va bene, ” Maya whispered.
“Good,” A returned whisper before lips met in the softest of kisses. Lips glided against one another, tongues danced, passion sparked. The couple quickly found themselves rolling back into the bed sheets together for another round.
___
A little while later the two of them were in the kitchen, Carina throwing together a quick dinner since neither of them had eaten before they raced home like a couple of teenagers.
Maya sat at the island and watched her wife in wonder as she cooked. She loved to just observe her wife flit around the kitchen. A spark flashed in those blue eyes, an inkling of an idea that had been spinning around in her bed since the day of the shower.
“We could move,” Maya called out.
“Che cosa? ” Carina said back, a furrowed brow as she turned toward her wife. Both of them only in their underwear, Maya had thrown on a t-shirt. The Italian decided just an apron would do for the moment.
“I know you said you’d readjust and the more important thing was being back here with me but…” Maya shrugged. “Maybe we could start looking for a house.”
It was an idea they had thrown around a handful of times before. The idea had vanished into the wind with each negative pregnancy test but maybe it could make a comeback.
“I think a fresh start would be nice and then we’d have more room for the kids,” Maya said so casually it made the brunette’s heart skip a beat.
“Kids? As in, more than one?” a loving smile grew across her face.
“Well yea. I mean, we will start with one but I think it would be nice to have a couple eventually,” the blonde scratched at her neck shyly.
Carina made sure the food was okay before she moved over to her wife. She situated herself between the firefighter’s legs as she sat on the stool. Arms wrapped around Maya’s neck and she was suddenly pulled into a fierce kiss.
“Dio mio, I love you,” Carina murmured against soft lips.
“So… is that a yes?”
“One step at a time, amore mio ,” Carina giggled. “But yes… I think it would be nice to start looking,” she pecked her lips once more.
“Cool,” Maya said dumbly with a love sick grin on her face. Carina giggled and went back over to the stove. She had thrown together a quick cacio e pepe for them.
They both dug into the pasta, the silence between them full of comfort and love as they ate together in their kitchen after so long apart.
“So are you going to tell me why you got sent home early?” Carina questioned with a raised eyebrow. She knew Andy had reassured her Maya was fine but she still worried.
“Oh um… I just,” Maya bit her lip not wanting to tell her wife.
“Bambina? You better not actually be hurt and you didn’t tell me.”
“No, no. Nothing like that,” the blonde looked away as a blush grew on her cheeks. “I was cleared after I…”
“Maya just tell me.”
“I got stuck in one of the spinners at the car wash we went to,” the blonde let slip as fast as she could. The silence had her turning her head back toward her wife.
Wide brown eyes met her gaze, her mouth had popped open slightly in shock.
Before the biggest grin spread across the Italian’s face, Maya knew what was coming.
Carina’s loud laughter rang through the apartment, a sound that could possibly disturb the neighbors at such a late hour. But Maya certainly did not care about any of that right now.
After a full minute of non-stop laughter, a pout formed on the firefighter’s face.
“It’s not that funny,” she muttered.
“Oh, oh bella ,” the brunette barely got out between giggles. “Trust me, it’s very funny.”
Maya crossed her arms after a moment, similar to a child in timeout.
“Don’t pout at me,” Carina raised her finger to her wife as she shimmied around the island. She tugged at Maya’s arms and placed them around her waist as she stood back between her legs.
“My big, strong firefighter,” Carina murmured against her lips and teasingly ran her tongue against them.
“You play unfair,” Maya muttered as the pout fell away, replaced with blue eyes that were now a shade darker.
“I know,” Carina smirked. She dipped back down and captured those plump lips with her own. Maya’s breath was practically stripped from her lungs as her brain caught up to the task at hand. But then her wife was gone, she had slyly slipped from her arms before Maya could even register what was going on.
She swiftly turned on the stool, an abandoned apron now on the floor next to that bright red thong.
Carina stood in all her naked glory at the entrance to the kitchen. Her brunette curls tousled perfectly, one arm leaned against the door frame. Her other hand raised in a come hither motion.
“Come and get me, lieutenant,” her accent thick with arousal before she dashed away toward the bedroom.
Maya was never one to back down from a challenge as she sprinted after her wife. A squeal could be heard as the blonde lifted her up into her arms once more and carried her to bed.
The rest of the night was a mix of moans and whines, maybe even the appearance of a certain favorite toy from their designated drawer. Carina loved to put that to good use as she’d bend her wife over the bed.
But eventually the couple were wrapped in their sheets, tangled together in a mess of arms and legs. Neither were planning to let go anytime soon. Carina had come home and for the first time in nearly a year, they felt whole once more.