Work Text:
--Yoongi--
The little studio room was way too hot, yet Jeongguk didn’t want to leave it. After all, how rare was it to be invited there to compose and write songs with Namjoon and Yoongi? It’d be rarer to see cows flying (not really, but you get the point).
So Jeongguk endured the sweat making his shirt stick to his muscular back and the pen slipping through his clammy fingers every now and then, just to hear Namjoon’s soft sighs when something didn’t go the way he wanted, or small laughs when something clicked in just the right way. Yoongi was promptly ignored.
Around 6pm it seemed that Namjoon had gotten stuck on the song he was working, and the laughs and smiles were scarce, the sighs and angry grunts replacing them. Jeongguk was ready to go ask if he could do anything to help when Yoongi leaned closer to Namjoon from his own chair next to the leader.
“Need help?” Yoongi asked silently.
Namjoon nodded. “I just can’t figure out how to do the transition from chorus to bridge. It always ends up sounding so.. sharp, you know? Not smooth like I want it to be.”
Nodding too, Yoongi looked over the track on the computer for a while as Namjoon nervously bit his lip and Jeongguk burned holes to the back of Yoongi’s neck for being too close to his Namjoon (his only in Jeongguk’s head).
“Why don’t we try this..?” Yoongi mumbled and proceeded to move things around the screen. After a while, he clicked play and a beautiful music flew through the room. To Jeongguk it was a masterpiece - at least until the start of the bridge. But Namjoon seemed to love it, turning to look at Yoongi and, much to Jeongguk’s horrification, placed a wet, fat kiss to his cheek.
Yoongi started to splutter and definitely blushed while Namjoon just laughed. Jeongguk felt a tight fist clench around his heart. He couldn’t help himself when he opened his mouth:
“I think that sucked. You shouldn’t ask help from Yoongi anymore, Namjoon-hyung, he just screws everything up.”
Namjoon and Yoongi both looked at Jeongguk with wide, shocked eyes, and Jeongguk decided it was time to leave. Before Namjoon nor Yoongi could say anything, Jeongguk had tucked the notebook and pen to his backpack and scrambled off the studio.
--Seokjin--
Jeongguk tried his best to avoid Yoongi. He had already listened to Namjoon’s rant about respecting his elders, cursing having Namjoon as his roommate for the very first time ever, and didn’t want to hear Yoongi’s anger. It was good Namjoon liked Jeongguk, otherwise he was sure he’d be sporting at least a second asshole by now.
Of course, living under the same roof and having to go to schedules with Yoongi didn’t make the ignoring easy, but Jeongguk had found out that for some reason sticking to Seokjin kept Yoongi a little bit more away. But sticking to Seokjin meant that Jeongguk noticed how disgustingly close to Namjoon he always was.
Was it really necessary for Seokjin to lean so close to Namjoon when they were whispering together over some book Namjoon was reading (Norwegian Wood, Jeongguk had found out as soon as he could, and ordered the same book so he could talk about it with Namjoon)? Or was that hand on Namjoon’s thigh supposed to be just a friendly gesture?
Jeongguk knew he was looking judgy, but he didn’t care. He was judgy. Namjoon didn’t like skinship, so why was he allowing Seokjin to press against him so tight? The irritation bubbling inside Jeongguk was venomous as he stared at the pair lounged on the couch. The concert would start soon, but still neither of them were budging, and Jeongguk started to get angry.
He was about to get up and go bother them to give him attention (for Namjoon to give him attention), when Namjoon leaned to whisper something to Seokjin’s ear. Seokjin leaned closer to Namjoon, and then Namjoon lips totally pressed against Seokjin’s ear, and Jeongguk was up so fast he felt dizzy.
Jeongguk didn’t even notice how he accidentally pushed a box of accessories to the floor as he hurried away from the suddenly suffocating room.
--Taehyung--
The stage was hot, the lights were bright and the screams of fans were ear-piercing, but still the only thing Jeongguk could properly focus was the close proximity of Namjoon in front of him. The choreo for Blanket Kick had always been one of Jeongguk’s favourite, for being able to lay on the bed for a while and relax, and mostly he could hold Namjoon, even if for a second.
They usually only casually held each other, comfortable on not going too overboard like the two other couples, maybe sometimes hugged, and always smiled brightly at each other. But this time, Jeongguk wanted to take the fanservice to a higher level: he was going to kiss Namjoon. He wanted to get payback for the accidental kiss of Namjoon and Seokjin’s ear, and maybe for the kiss of Namjoon against Yoongi’s cheek.
Jeongguk contemplated on going full out and just kiss Namjoon straight on the lips, but that would be too annoying to deal with later, so he settled for a simple kiss on the cheek.
Or would have settled, if Taehyung hadn’t jumped on Namjoon’s back when Namjoon started turning to face Jeongguk. Letting out a surprised yelp and a laugh, Namjoon brought his free hand up to tangle his fingers into Taehyung’s sweaty hair and turn his face a little so he could kiss his cheek.
In front of them, Jeongguk was fuming. He almost went to kiss Seokjin to spite Namjoon and Taehyung, but he didn’t feel comfortable enough to kiss anyone else than Namjoon. He was forced to adapt a bright smile when Taehyung jumped off Namjoon and they resumed the choreo like nothing out of ordinary had ever happened.
Jeongguk’s foul mood didn’t disappear even when they were sitting at the van back to their dorm, and he might or might not have barked at Taehyung to stop bothering him a bit too harshly. He got lectured from left and right, but couldn’t bring himself to care. After all, it was all their fault. Why were they so addicted on making Jeongguk feel like shit all the time?
--Hoseok--
Even after three long days passed, Jeongguk’s mood stayed annoyed, angry and sad. He had broken more things in anger in the three days than Namjoon had broken that whole month, and had managed to ruin his and Taehyung’s friendship probably for eternity.
Only dancing and singing eased his anger a little. Luckily, the year end shows were coming, and they had to practice day in and day out for the performances, hour after an hour, and Jeongguk had never been so glad to sweat. Even the ache of his muscles and joints was welcomed.
The other Bangtan members weren’t as happy to dance as Jeongguk, though, especially when this was the fifth consecutive hour they were stuck on the practice room. The mirror was fogged from the heated air, and the music was almost drowned out by the pants and grunts of the dancers and screeches of sneakers against the floor. The song they were currently practicing was only 2 minutes long, but it felt like 2 hours to the exhausted boys.
“Let’s take a break, guys”, their dance teacher said after the song finished and everyone slumped to the floor eagerly.
Everyone was too tired to say anything. Jeongguk, panting, looked around for a bottle of water and found one near Namjoon (who he actually had subconsciously looked for). He rolled next to Namjoon, trying to make it all look as smooth and not suspicious at all, and reached for the bottle, just to get it snatched away by Hoseok at the last second.
“Hey, Joonie, the way you did that spin was perfect!” Hoseok said happily as he sat next to Namjoon. Jeongguk hoped his gaze could murder people, or at least make them feel awkward enough to leave him and Namjoon alone.
“Thanks, Hobie”, Namjoon said weakly, still completely exhausted. Hoseok laughed, nudging Namjoon’s side.
“Maybe soon you’re better dancer than Yoongi!” Hoseok blurted out loud enough for Yoongi to hear from across the room where he was lounged against Seokjin. Yoongi was far away, but his aim was perfect as he launched a water bottle towards Hoseok. It knocked Hoseok right on the nape, making him fall against Namjoon, who was too tired to keep the two of them up.
Jeongguk looked in horrified awe as the pair fell over, and time seemed to slow down as Namjoon’s chapped lips came in contact with Hoseok’s forehead. If Jeongguk had anything on his hands at the moment, it would have been crushed into pieces.
Without wasting any time, Jeongguk turned away from the now maniacally laughing pair. He got up and with loud voice asked to continue the practice. Everyone groaned, but Jeongguk didn’t give a shit as he walked (more like angrily stomped) to the stereo and pressed play, way harder than necessary. Namjoon was ready to scold him about being careful with the electronics, but Jeongguk was already on position, gaze fixed on the mirror and expression tense, ready to drown his burning jealousy on dance.
--Jimin--
One week after Hoseok and Namjoon’s kiss, Jeongguk was sure he was going crazy. Even normal skinship from someone towards Namjoon made his skin prickle and the envy burn a hole into his heart. He and Namjoon hadn’t even properly talked to each other for few weeks now, and Jeongguk was sure the other hated him. Why else would he be avoiding his shows of affection?
It was a rare free day for Bangtan, and Jeongguk was completely wasting it away, being sprawled on Taehyung’s bed (at least they had made up and were back to being close), watching some boring drama from the TV. He had just started to forget about Namjoon for a while, when he heard his voice coming outside the almost closed door. Accompanied by Jimin’s surprisingly shy voice.
Swiftly Jeongguk lowered the volume of the TV and strained his ears to get hold of what they were talking about.
“Namjoon-hyung, please, I need to talk to you”, Jimin said, a certain desperation stuck in his tone.
“Fine, fine, but make it quick”, Namjoon said absentmindedly. He was most likely in hurry to get to the studio.
“Uh, okay, sure, of course”, Jimin muttered, and his voice got so silent by the end that it disappeared.
Jeongguk frowned. He got up from the bed silently and tip-toed to the door, peeking from the small crack. He was presented with a perfect view of Namjoon and Jimin - holding hands. The familiar venom filled his stomach painfully. He still couldn’t hear what they said, but he could guess the general idea of it with ease when Jimin leaned closer to kiss Namjoon full on lips.
Not able to watch any longer, Jeongguk turned on his heels and ran back to the bed, throwing the covers over his trembling body.
Of course, of course, Jimin would love Namjoon. Jeongguk could feel hot tears roll down his cheeks. It was so obvious, from the way he blushed and looked down when Namjoon complimented him to the longing gazes towards Namjoon that Jimin thought no one saw.
And Namjoon probably loved Jimin too, Jeongguk thought with bitterness. After all, Jimin was so nice and caring, and talented, and funny, and good looking. Just everything Jeongguk felt he wasn’t at the moment, or hadn’t been for a long time. How could Namjoon fall for someone like Jeongguk, burning with jealousy and anger, when the pure, bright Jimin existed, with his plump lips and cute eyes.
Jeongguk tried to stifle the sobs leaving his lips, but it was futile. He pressed his tear soaked face against Taehyung’s pillow, not caring if he messed it up. He played with the idea of suffocating himself with it for a while. His heart was hurting so much, it wasn’t just jealousy anymore, now it was mixed with heartbreak and desperation.
If he had stayed watching for a little while longer, he would have seen Namjoon push Jimin away with force, eyes wide in shock. And if he wasn’t buried under the thick covers he would have heard Namjoon telling Jimin that he loved someone else.
--------
Day by day, Jeongguk’s mood darkened. It hurt to look at Jimin or Namjoon. He physically couldn’t look at them, the stab in his heart too painful and the image of the kiss too fresh in his mind. Jeongguk had convinced Seokjin to let him sleep on the floor of his and Yoongi’s room, and avoided standing next to Namjoon on stage as much as possible.
What had once been longing for contact and attention from Namjoon, had turned into bitter resentment of any touch at all. Even being in same room with Namjoon brought pain into Jeongguk’s broken heart. He felt bad for having been so jealous and childish. Maybe if he hadn’t been so annoying, Namjoon would love him instead of Jimin.
Avoiding of Namjoon was going well (yet Jeongguk’s heart was still hurting), until one day, two weeks and three days after Jimin and Namjoon’s first kiss, Namjoon cornered Jeongguk on the empty practice room.
“Jeongguk, please talk to me”, Namjoon pleaded. He was holding Jeongguk’s wrist tight, almost to the point of pain, to stop Jeongguk from running away like he always did.
Jeongguk stayed silent, his eyes fixed on the floor, shining on the too bright lighting. He heard Namjoon sigh, and wished that he would give up already.
But no, Namjoon pushed on. “I can see something is wrong! Please, Jeongguk. You know you can tell me everything.”
No, Namjoon, this is a thing I can’t tell you.
“You used to tell me everything”, Namjoon whispered when it was obvious Jeongguk wouldn’t answer.
The helpless tone of Namjoon hurt Jeongguk. He always hated when Namjoon felt sad, hurt or troubled, and now he seemed to be all. Because of Jeongguk. Only a shake of head was Jeongguk’s answer to Namjoon.
“What did I do wrong?” Namjoon asked.
“Please, say something, Kookie!”
“You’ve been on edge all the time lately! Something has gotten under your skin, for sure.”
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
“I always notice, Kookie. You know that. We are close.”
“Why don’t you tell me? Why are you like this?”
“I’m starting to think that.. We aren’t that close anymore… Right? I’m right, aren’t I?”
“We used to best of friends, don’t you remember?”
“...I don’t even know if you like me anymore.”
Jeongguk finally lifted his head, tears already spilling from his eyes and mouth slightly open from shock towards Namjoon’s words.
“Hyung, how could I not like you?” Jeongguk finally said his first words since Namjoon had found him. His voice was pained, hoarse from holding down the sobs.
Jeongguk was shocked to see that Namjoon’s eyes were wet too and his lips were trembling. It made the words fall out of his mouth easily. “I like you, hyung! You are everything to me!”
“Am i?” Namjoon interrupted him. His words were shockingly sharp. “You don’t tell me anything anymore!”
“How can I!? You don’t listen to me!”
“I listen to you always, Kookie, what are you saying?” Namjoon was honestly shocked.
“You are always with someone else”, Jeongguk said silently, his eyes cast towards the floor again. He just couldn’t bare looking at Namjoon’s sad expression.
“You only need to ask and I’ll leave everyone, everything! for you”, Namjoon said, “I want myself to be the one you go to when you have problems, Kookie. I want to hold you when you are crying. I want to be the one you look for when you’re troubled.”
They were quiet for a long while, Namjoon panting slightly, hand still tight around Jeongguk’s. Jeongguk couldn’t fight back the sobs anymore.
“How can I come to you when the reason I’m troubled is you!” Jeongguk finally shouted.
He squeezed his eyes shut immediately after he had said it, regretting it immediately. Namjoon was silent for so long, and Jeongguk had time to hope that he would finally leave him and forget everything he had said.
“I’m.. the reason?” Namjoon asked and his voice was so tiny, wavering, that it made Jeongguk sob even harder. “I...“
“I’m sorry, hyung. I shouldn’t have said anything”, Jeongguk mumbled. He tried to get away from Namjoon’s hold, and this time he let go easily.
But before Jeongguk could take even one step away, Namjoon had enveloped him into a warm hug. Jeongguk’s eyes snapped wide open when he felt the strong arms tighten around his waist and smelled the slight cologne. He was too emotionally exhausted to fight against the embrace, so he just let his head rest against Namjoon’s shoulder. It felt good.
“I’m sorry”, Namjoon whispered into Jeongguk’s hair, “I like you so much. I like you so much it hurts.”
Jeongguk was speechless. The only thing he could do was to cry silently.
“I have liked you for so long, longer than you can guess. At first I thought it was just friendly, brotherly admiration, but quickly I found out that, no, it was way more.”
Jeongguk found strength to tangle his fingers into Namjoon’s messy hair when the older’s words faltered, as if he was scared to continue. The touch seemed to comfort Namjoon, and Jeongguk felt his body relax against his. It felt soft.
“You don’t know how pretty you are, Jeonggukkie. And not just pretty, you are handsome, you are sexy, you are beautiful when the lights on the stage hit you, and when you sing you look nothing less than ethereal. When I look at you, I feel warm and happy. You calm me down so much, Jeonggukkie. So much”, Namjoon’s words were silent again, but this time Jeongguk could hear the smile in his tone, “I want to be the one to know you the best. Can I?”
Jeongguk pushed himself slightly off Namjoon so he could press their foreheads together. Namjoon wasn’t crying anymore and there was a hopeful, small smile on his face. He looked so beautiful, even with his red eyes and chapped lips and pimples and hair stuck on his wet face.
Jeongguk felt a smile appear on his own face as well. “Of course you can. You will be the person who knows me so well you’ll know what I am thinking about even when we are miles apart.”
Namjoon started to laugh, but it was cut short when Jeongguk kissed him.
Finally, finally, finally! Jeongguk’s mind screamed as he felt Namjoon’s full lips move against his.
It felt amazing, it felt calming yet exciting at the same time. His heart was racing, and when he moved his hands against Namjoon’s chest he could feel Namjoon’s heart beat at the same, fast pace. It made Jeongguk’s stomach churn in a pleasant way and a smile spread across his face, lips still locked against Namjoon’s.
And Namjoon felt his smile, and he smiled too. Wide, wide, so wide.
When they pulled away, they were both smiling and laughing happily, and then Namjoon’s hands tugged at the strands of Jeongguk’s hair, pulling him towards his lips again.
And it felt like the best thing in the entire universe.