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It starts, as most things in their lives do these days, with Miri.
“Papas,” she says in the innocent voice that suggests she’s about to ask a question that they may or may not be able to answer, “why don’t you ever hold hands?”
Rei blinks, like he doesn’t understand the words. Kazuki pauses, mouth open, and finds that this is one of those questions that he really doesn’t know how to answer.
It isn’t that he thought this day would never come. As much as the moms at daycare love “Comedian Kazuki and Oil Baron Rei,” eventually someone is going to wonder what it means that the two of them are living together with a daughter that calls them both papa.
He just didn’t think the questions and whispers would be like this—right from their daughter’s mouth.
Rei apparently isn’t going to be any help here, as he’s still blinking at her, so Kazuki says, “Because…because…why do you think we should hold hands?”
“Parents hold hands.” Miri’s eyes are as wide as a puppy’s. The cereal on her spoon is in danger of falling into her lap.
Kazuki wants to slam his head against the table, but he doesn’t dare do it in front of her. She’d probably decide it looks fun. “Rei and I aren’t your parents—we’re your papas.”
“So?”
Kazuki definitely isn’t ready to explain the intricacies of sexuality and parental relationships to a child. He wonders if he could give her a lollipop and make her forget this entire line of questioning.
The thought fuzzes out of his brain as he feels a hand slide into his own, rough fingers fitting between his like puzzle pieces. Kazuki looks down to find—
—to find that Rei is holding his hand.
“There,” Rei says, like it’s just that easy. “We’re holding hands.”
“I like it when you hold hands,” Miri says and goes back to her cereal.
Rei flinches, but he doesn’t pull away. They don’t let go until Miri has finished breakfast and it’s time to take her to daycare.
Kazuki isn’t disappointed. Not even a little bit.
***
A one-time thing, that’s all it was, Kazuki tells himself. They held hands once so Miri would see it isn’t a big deal and would stop asking questions.
Except—except it keeps happening.
When they go together to pick up Miri from daycare. When they go to the playground. When they’re sitting on the couch. When they’re driving Miri home and traffic is light. No matter who is watching, Rei will reach over and take his hand.
It isn’t anything more than that, just one warm point of connection between them, but it feels impossibly intimate with this man who hardly likes to be touched, hardly smiles, and sleeps in a bathtub without even a blanket for comfort.
It starts out feeling like an indulgence for Miri’s sake, but it isn’t long before Kazuki can’t remember why they weren’t doing this before. It’s holding hands—does it have to be a big deal?
It feels like one when Kazuki wanders downstairs after tucking Miri in and settles down on the couch. Rei reaches over to take his hand, even though they’re the only two in the room. Like this is something they do every night and have for years.
Kazuki stares down at their intertwined fingers—his sun-tanned and Rei’s as pale as bone—and feels like he’s been punched in the chest.
He used to have nights like this all the time with his wife curled up on the couch next to him. She’d watch a romantic movie and he’d pretend not to be bored out of his mind.
He doesn’t remember the movie during their last night in together, but he does remember holding Yuzuko’s hand and feeling their son or daughter kick against his palm.
Kazuki jerks his hand away. Rei’s head darts over, but his expression doesn’t change as he catches Kazuki’s eye.
“Sorry,” Rei says, tucking his hand safely back in his own lap.
“It’s okay.” Kazuki is whispering but he can’t explain why. It isn’t like Miri can hear them all the way upstairs. “I was just thinking.”
“About Yuzuko?”
Kazuki nods. Rei looks back at the movie as a building explodes on-screen. “We don’t have to keep doing it, if you don’t want to.”
Kazuki is glad that Rei isn’t looking at him as he says, “I want to.”
They don’t speak again for the rest of the movie. The next time Rei holds his hand on the couch, Kazuki doesn’t flinch.
***
The moment Kazuki sees the Hiring sign in the window of the diner just around the corner, he applies. A few days later, he’s tying on an apron. Serving people can’t be any harder than killing them, after all.
It’s a tiny place but they’re willing to take a chance on him—unlike Kyu who looked at Kazuki like he’d lost his mind when he asked if there might be an opening behind the bar. There aren’t many places that are willing to hire someone with no experience—that he can share—and he has a kernel of an idea brewing.
If he can get a bit of experience, maybe he can open his own diner without immediately running it into the ground. And it’s nice to be able to work perfectly normal hours at a job that doesn’t come tucked in a folder for once in his life.
He’s still surprised when Rei shows up late at home one evening and announces that he’s also found a job.
“What kind of job?” Kazuki asks carefully, after a moment. He didn’t even know Rei was looking, although he has to admit he’s thankful that this means he doesn’t have to worry about Rei trying out a life as a Twitch streamer.
Miri looks up from where she’s been playing semi-quietly on the floor for the past hour. “Are you a fireman?”
“No.” Rei’s lips twitch. It isn’t quite a smile but it isn’t not one.
“A teacher?”
Rei shoots Kazuki a glare as he covers his mouth to hide his laughter at the very thought of Rei teaching children. “No.”
“A policeman?”
“No.”
“She’ll keep doing this if you don’t tell us,” Kazuki cuts in before Miri can think of something else that Rei could implausibly be doing.
Rei puts a hand on Miri’s head, ruffling her hair. She makes an upset sound and swats at him. “I’m working at a greenhouse.”
“Cool!” Miri nearly throws a toy across the room in her enthusiasm. “What’s a greenhouse?”
“It’s a place where they grow plants,” Kazuki says patiently. He has trouble imagining Rei with his hands in the dirt and surrounded by greenery, but maybe working with something he doesn’t have to talk to will agree with him.
Rei nods as he drops down on the couch, his feet kicked up in front of him. “I start tomorrow. So, what’s for dinner?”
***
“I have the lunch shift so I can pick Miri up from daycare,” Kazuki says, leaning over to grab his keys off the counter. Rei is pouring cereal into a bowl right there, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world to lean over and kiss him.
The contact is brief, barely a peck, but long enough that Kazuki has plenty of time to register that Rei’s lips are warm and chapped. It feels…it feels nice.
“Um.” Rei’s eyes are wide as Kazuki pulls back.
“Um,” Kazuki echoes. “See you later.”
Kazuki runs out the door before he can do something crazy. Like try to explain himself. Or, worse, try to kiss Rei again.
He goes through his shift in a daze, trying not to think about the surprise in Rei’s eyes or the hesitant tremor of his mouth. If he doesn’t think about it, he can let it fade into the past, just one of those weird things that have happened and don’t need to be a big deal.
When Kazuki gets home, smelling strongly of grease and his shoes still damp from someone’s spilled coffee, he doesn’t mention the kiss.
Neither does Rei.
It doesn’t stop Kazuki from wanting to do it again every time Rei’s eyes catch on his mouth, like he wants it too.
***
“Hey, I need to ask you something,” Rei says the moment he pushes through the front door.
Kazuki looks up to see Rei’s forearms streaked with dirt, an even filthier kitten cradled against his chest. “Okay?”
“She was sleeping in the compost heap. Can we keep her? Please?”
“Okay,” Kazuki says because he knows what kind of monster he would be if he said no to Rei a second time, especially after he insisted on “adopting” Miri. It isn’t like they lead dangerous lives anymore. He can cope with one cat. “I’ll pick up some things on my way to daycare.”
“Get toys!” Rei shouts before softly explaining to the kitten that she must have a bath and that she’ll feel better when it’s over.
Kazuki shakes his head the moment he’s on the other side of the door. He doesn’t know how this became his life.
He stops through the nearest pet store on the way to Miri’s daycare and lets the nice woman behind the counter pick out anything she thinks he’ll need. She’s pretty, with bouncy red curls and long eyelashes framing green eyes. Another time, he would’ve been tempted to flirt with her and ask if she wants to get coffee sometime.
Now—now that feels like cheating.
He doesn’t examine that thought too closely as he pays for the two bags full of cat supplies. Miri pouts and whines when he won’t let her take a peek inside after he picks her up.
“The real surprise is at home,” he promises and she kicks her feet the whole way there.
Kazuki opens the apartment door with more caution than normal, confirming that the place hasn’t been destroyed and a kitten isn’t trying to make its escape. Fortunately, everything seems to be in the order he left it, except for Rei sitting on the couch with a fluffy gray lump on his chest.
Miri screams the moment she lays eyes on them. The kitten flees, scrabbling under the couch.
“A kitten! Is it for me?” Miri is already on her hands and knees, reaching for the thing.
“She’s Rei’s but you can play with her if you promise to be gentle,” Kazuki says, dropping the bags in the doorway and kneeling down next to her. He tugs her away from the couch as Rei coaxes the kitten back out of hiding. She slinks out and clings to Rei’s knee with claws that look like tiny daggers.
“Go on, you can pet her,” Rei says softly, scratching the kitten on her back. She’s gray and striped without her coat being clouded by dirt and mud and who knows what else. She’s small enough that Kazuki could hold her in one hand without fear of dropping her.
Miri’s hand shoots out like she’s trying to swat a fly and the kitten bolts again. The near-crying whine Miri lets out probably doesn’t inspire her confidence.
Kazuki hushes her and holds onto her hands as Rei coaxes the kitten out a second time. He hadn’t realized this first meeting would be so difficult.
“Gentle,” Kazuki says, reaching out to demonstrate with two fingers. “See?”
“What’s her name?” Miri asks as the kitten’s eyes slip closed and she begins to purr. Miri moves more slowly this time, stroking her back with a gentle hand.
“Alcina,” Rei says and Kazuki rolls his eyes where neither of them can see. Everything has to come back to video games with him.
Miri repeats it, the syllables running together on her tongue. Rei meets Kazuki’s eyes over their two daughters and they both can’t help but smile.
***
Miri cries when Alcina refuses to sleep in her bed, choosing instead to curl up on top of Rei in the bathtub.
“She can choose where she wants to sleep,” Kazuki says, going through her bookshelf for a story to read her to sleep. “Maybe she’ll be here when you wake up.”
He rather regrets saying that when Alcina seems content to make a habit of sleeping with Rei over anyone else, even when he tosses and turns in the night. He really isn’t looking forward to the day when Miri starts begging for a pet of her own.
Almost a week after Alcina’s arrival, Kazuki pushes into the bathroom to find her sitting on the tub’s edge, tail flicking as Rei continues to sleep below her. Rei startles at the sound of the bathroom door, sitting up with his hair all a mess and his eyes still half-closed.
He looks so adorable that Kazuki just—he just wants to kiss him.
Inexplicably, he does. He drops to his knees right there on the cold tile, ignoring the shudder of the impact, and takes Rei’s face in both hands. There’s a scratchy bit of stubble along both his cheeks.
“What are you doing?” Rei asks sleepily.
Kazuki pauses, glancing at Alcina watching him with narrowed eyes, like she’s preparing to eviscerate him if he does anything wrong. “Kissing you. Is that okay?”
Rei makes a low hum and leans his cheek into Kazuki’s palm. Kazuki takes that as a yes and presses their mouths together.
Rei tastes like morning breath, but Kazuki couldn’t care less. Mostly, he’s just glad that the kiss doesn’t taste like blood or gunpowder. Rei’s lips are still, like he’s afraid of doing something wrong or scaring Kazuki off, but he doesn’t draw away.
Kazuki lets the kiss linger on for a few more seconds before he leans back.
“Why did you do that?” Rei asks, looking more alert when Kazuki lets go. He doesn’t seem angry or upset, more confused. Kazuki can’t help but wonder how long it’s been since anyone kissed him—or if he’s the only one who ever has.
Kazuki straightens, his knees protesting the rough treatment. He might be getting too old for this. “I wanted to.”
“Wait, did you wake me up for a reason?” Rei calls before Kazuki can leave the bathroom. He thinks he might need to go sit on his bedroom door and just breathe for a bit.
Kazuki pauses in the doorway. “Oh, yeah. If you don’t get up now, you’re going to be late for work.”
Once he’s safely out of sight, Kazuki reaches up and presses a finger to his lips. For the second time, he’s walking away with the warmth of Rei’s mouth still lingering on his own.
Maybe kissing is another thing they can make a habit of.
***
Kazuki feels restless. The sun is pouring through the windows after a solid week of rain and it has him feeling restless. He doesn’t want to sort through the bills, or deal with the laundry, or run to the store. He’s an adult and he’s earned a bit of a break.
Rei is sitting on the couch, a dead leaf still caught in his messy ponytail from his morning shift at the greenhouse. Alcina is curled up next to his thigh, paws twitching in sleep. Kazuki looks over at him and says, “Do you want to go get ice cream?”
Rei gives him a confused look but he says, “Okay.”
Kazuki catches Rei’s hand as soon as they’re outside. It feels almost like a date, walking together in the warm sun with nowhere to be and no job to do.
“We should take Miri to the zoo this summer,” Rei says abruptly as they make their slow way down the sidewalk. It’s only a few blocks to the ice cream shop but they aren’t the only ones out enjoying the nice weather.
“The zoo? Okay.” Kazuki tamps down on the urge to ask if perhaps Rei is the one who wants to go to the zoo. Kazuki himself hasn’t been in—actually, he can’t remember how long it’s been. Before Yukozo told him she was pregnant, at least.
“She’ll like it there,” Rei goes on, firmly. Like Kazuki hasn’t already said yes.
Kazuki smiles and swings their hands a little, like they’re teenagers on a stroll. “We can go whenever you want—assuming we don’t have to work, that is.”
Rei huffs out a quiet laugh and the ice cream shop comes up faster than Kazuki expected. The line isn’t long and Kazuki orders a respectable two scoops of matcha. Rei accepts the largest cone of chocolate ice cream that Kazuki has ever seen. He’s pretty sure it’s larger than Miri’s face.
“What?” Rei asks before giving the ice cream a lick, sprinkles bouncing to the sidewalk. He’s even going to give the sparrows a sugar high.
“Nothing,” Kazuki says, when what he really wants is to kiss Rei while he tastes like chocolate.
They’ve barely made it a block back to their apartment when Rei stumbles over a crack in the pavement. Ice cream spills over his hand as he catches himself but his cone, miraculously, doesn’t fall to the ground.
Inexplicable panic crawls up Kazuki’s throat. He can’t breathe and he can’t see and the only thing he can feel is the cold-cold-cold of his ice cream as he crushes the remains of his cone in his hand.
He’d forgotten.
How could he have forgotten?
It was only a few days before the accident. Yuzuko was craving pistachio ice cream mixed with raspberry, even though she normally hated both. Kazuki took her because he couldn’t have refused her anything she wanted and ice cream was a fairly easy request.
There was a crack in the sidewalk then too. Neither of them had seen it—Yuzuko being heavily pregnant and Kazuki too busy laughing at something she’d said. She cried as her ice cream scattered across the ground.
She’d sat down right on the grass while Kazuki ran back to grab her another. By the time he returned, she’d forgotten all about it, but she’d grinned up at him all the same as he handed her a fresh cone.
“Kazuki.” Rei’s voice finally breaks through the haze of his mind. There’s a hand on his shoulder, the fingers gripping tight enough to dig in. “Breathe. It’s okay.”
Kazuki stares down at the mess of ice cream all over himself and tries to shake it off his hand. Rei offers him a napkin. “Was it Yuzuko?”
“I forgot.” Kazuki’s voice sounds wrecked as he does his best to clean himself up. “I forgot that we came to get ice cream, right before it happened.”
“Do you want to go home?”
Kazuki nods and Rei takes his hand again even though it’s sticky, holding it tightly all the way home. Kazuki tries not to think about how he just ruined what could’ve been their first date.
Maybe he isn’t ready to move on after all.
***
“I want you to be honest,” Rei says, poking at a fresh batch of french toast sizzling away in the pan, “if these are better than last time.”
Kazuki leans over Rei’s shoulder. The pieces of bread turning golden brown look the same as they always do. “What’s different about them?”
“That’s a trade secret.”
“Did you taste one?”
“Of course.”
Kazuki takes Rei’s hips in his hands, slowly so Rei has plenty of time to realize it’s happening and to stop it if he wants to. He must not want to, because he doesn’t.
Kazuki presses on, guiding Rei around and pinning him against the counter with his hips. Rei’s body is thin and pointy beneath his clothes. They haven’t kissed since that day in the bathroom, but Kazuki has thought about it plenty and he can’t pass up an opportunity this good.
“Let me see if I can figure it out, then,” Kazuki says, before he kisses him.
He doesn’t let this one stay as chaste as the last two, tongue flicking against the seam of Rei’s lips. If he’s going to get a taste, he needs to do this properly.
Rei startles but opens up, letting him in, hands finding purchase on Kazuki’s shoulders. Rei’s mouth tastes like french toast—obviously—and nothing unexpected, but Kazuki makes a good show of it anyway. He forgot how much fun teasing can be.
Rei does his best to keep up, tilting his head into a better angle and tentatively brushing Kazuki’s tongue with his own.
“Hmm,” Kazuki says, pulling away and licking his lips. He feels like he just chugged an entire bottle of whiskey. “I’m not sure. Cardamom?”
“I don’t think you know what cardamom tastes like,” Rei grumbles, turning around just in time to rescue the french toast still in the pan from the side of burnt. If Kazuki didn’t know any better, he’d swear that’s a blush on the man’s cheeks.
Kazuki is considering asking if he can give it another go when Miri’s footsteps come down the stairs. She appears around the corner still in her pajamas, Alcina on her heels.
“French toast?” she says sleepily.
“Sit down.” Rei sprinkles a spice from an unmarked container over the latest batch. “It’s almost ready.”
Miri’s face lights up and she grins as she climbs onto her chair. Kazuki smiles as he goes to join her, the back of his hand stroking over Rei’s back pocket. He’ll just have to take a rain check on that repeat.
***
Kissing does become a habit, after that.
Quick pecks before one of them leaves for work. Lingering kisses in the living room before bed. Kisses on cheeks and foreheads when one of them has a nightmare.
They don’t talk about it, but then they don’t need to.
They’re already roommates and parents. This—whatever they might want to call it—feels like the natural next step. Kazuki thinks that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let someone in again, if that someone is Rei.
Rei knows him, after all. Knows his past with Yuzuko and all the terrible things he’s done. Rei has seen all of it, done as bad or worse, and they’re both still here, together.
Maybe that’s enough.
***
Kazuki is on his back in bed with Rei half on top of him, pressing him into the mattress. They’ve been tangled up here for the better part of an hour, trading kisses until their lips are cherry-red and Kazuki isn’t sure he’s ever going to be willing to come up for air. Rei is getting better all the time, or at least he seems more than eager to learn.
“We should go to sleep,” Kazuki says, even though he’d really rather not. “You have an early shift and I have to take Miri to daycare.”
Rei doesn’t protest, only nods and starts to move away. No matter how many times they do this or how late they stay up, he always returns to the bathtub and Kazuki stays here in bed to sleep alone.
Kazuki’s hand snatches out like a Venus fly trap and grabs Rei’s wrist. He doesn’t want to sleep alone, not forever. “Stay. Sleep here with me.”
Rei stiffens but he says, “Okay.”
“It doesn’t have to be all night.” Kazuki skims his thumb over Rei’s skin. “I know…I know that you don’t like—”
Rei leans in to cut him off with a kiss. “It’s okay. I want to try.”
They brush their teeth side-by-side at the sink and Rei leaves just long enough to change clothes and retrieve Alcina from her usual post in the bathtub.
“We’re sleeping here tonight,” Rei tells her as she stares at him from the foot of the bed, tail twitching.
“I don’t think she likes me,” Kazuki says as he crawls into his usual side of the bed. She’s grown in leaps and bounds since she arrived in their lives and he isn’t entirely convinced she isn’t plotting to trip him on his way downstairs one day.
Rei flicks off the light and climbs in alongside him. “She likes you.”
“How do you know?”
Rei is quiet for a long moment and Kazuki can’t help but wonder what there is to be thinking about. “I know.”
Kazuki feels on edge, curled up with Rei in the dark. After everything they’ve done together, this feels like a line that can only be crossed once. Sharing a bed for reasons other than falling asleep after sex—it feels almost more intimate than the idea of sex itself.
“How—how do you want to do this?” Rei asks. It’s strange, the slight slope in the mattress under someone else’s weight. Kazuki can feel him, too close and too far away, even though he can’t yet make out his shape in the dark.
“I should be asking you that.” Kazuki’s always been easy-going in his sleep, although he doesn’t think he could take spending a night in the bathtub.
Rei is quiet for so long that Kazuki starts to wonder if he’s already fallen asleep. Then the bed shifts again as Rei slides closer, curling up on his side with one knee braced over Kazuki’s legs. “Like this,” he whispers.
“This is good.” Kazuki lifts his arm and rests it around Rei’s shoulders. He feels Alcina settle down in a ball somewhere by their legs. It is good, warm and comfortable and safe in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time. He closes his eyes and lets sleep take him.
It’s still dark and the house is silent when Kazuki startles awake. Rei is still here, but it seems not for long.
“Bathtub,” he mutters, throwing off the blankets and climbing haphazardly out of bed with his eyes still mostly closed. “I need the bathtub.”
Kazuki lets him go without a word, but he can’t go back to sleep.
***
Kazuki doesn’t ask Rei to stay with him again, but he finds his sleep interrupted more often than not as Rei climbs into bed with him and then leaves again a few hours later. It takes about two weeks of this and a lot of experimentation with pillows and blankets before Kazuki wakes in the morning to see Rei on the pillow beside him.
Rei’s hair is in his face, twitching softly with the rhythm of his breaths. He looks peaceful in a way that he never does when he’s awake—and, if Kazuki is being honest, rarely does when he’s asleep either.
Kazuki wants to wrap him in a blanket and never let anyone hurt him again. If he gets his way, that’s exactly how the rest of their lives is going to go.
Rei’s eyes slide open slowly, his expression soft and warm. Kazuki can count the number of times Rei has looked like this in the entire time they’ve known each other—and most of them have involved Alcina. Rei grumbles something that Kazuki can’t understand.
“Good morning,” Kazuki murmurs, stroking the hair out of Rei’s face. He wants to kiss him, wants to keep him here a little while longer, but he can already hear the pound of Miri’s feet in the hall.
Kazuki only has a second before the door slams open and Miri bounds onto the bed.
“We’re going to the zoo!” she shouts and Kazuki tries not to groan. The zoo. He’d almost forgotten.
***
It’s a beautiful sunny day, warm without being too hot. The zoo is packed with couples and families with children, unable to resist the allure of a visit with the nice weather. He isn’t sure if it feels like a first date or a day out with his family.
It might be okay that it’s both.
Rei and Kazuki hold hands as they weave their way through the crowds, Miri dashing on ahead but always staying within sight.
There are otters playing in the water, tigers stretched out in the sun like Alcina back at home, and polar bears tossing around a giant rubber ball. Miri spends ten minutes laughing at the antics of the lemurs and even Rei can’t help but smile.
“Do you have a favorite?” Kazuki asks, watching the flamingos balancing delicately on their slender legs.
Rei is twisted around, watching the penguins in the enclosure next door dive in and out of the water. “Have we seen everything?”
“Almost.” It’s only then that Kazuki realizes that he doesn’t know if Rei has ever been here before. His father definitely isn’t the type for a family day out like this.
“I like the bears,” Rei says, with the same serious expression he wore when they were new to their working relationship and Kazuki asked him about his weapon of choice.
“Papa Rei, look!” Miri appears between them, interrupting the moment of peace. “Look at that penguin!”
“Go on. Show Papa Rei the penguin,” Kazuki says, smiling as Miri promptly takes Rei by the hand and drags him off to get a closer look. Kazuki follows behind, his gaze fixed on the safety of the kangaroos.
The penguins were Yuzuko’s favorite. As long as he doesn’t look at them, maybe it’ll be okay that he’s here without her. Maybe it’s okay to make new memories in this familiar place.
***
The artificial sounds of guns firing and people crashing into things echo from the television. Rei hammers away at the controller, feet in Kazuki’s lap. Miri is off at a friend’s house—a friend, Kazuki dropped her off himself, the girl’s house smelled like fresh-baked cookies.
Rei is wearing one of Kazuki’s hoodies even though it’s too short in the arms for him. It makes Kazuki want to climb into his lap and kiss him senseless.
“Do you think we should talk about this?” Kazuki asks, when Rei’s hand lands on his calf as he watches a cut-scene.
Rei looks over, a pinch in his brow. “Talk about what?”
“This.” Kazuki waves a hand at the two of them sitting practically on top of each other on the couch. “Us.”
“Oh. Why? Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. It just feels like something we should talk about at some point.”
The cut-scene ends but Rei pauses the game before the action can pick back up. The sudden silence in the room is almost deafening. “Do you want to break up?”
Kazuki’s brain grinds to a halt with a screech of tires. “We’re together?”
“What do you think we’ve been doing all this time? We’re roommates. We’re Miri’s papas. I spend more nights in bed with you than in the tub. I don’t need anything else. Do you?”
Kazuki’s brain is still trying to process that they’ve been together all this time without ever saying the words. Rei is right, though. He’s barely even looked at a woman in ages, hasn’t flirted in—he doesn’t know how long. It isn’t like he’d want to do all this with anyone else.
“No,” Kazuki says. “I like what we have.”
“Me too.” Rei waits another moment before he picks up his controller and unpauses the game. Kazuki leans back against the couch and smiles. He really does like what they have.
***
Kazuki has never been this nervous in his life—okay, maybe the time he asked Yuzuko to marry him. He stares at the For Sale sign in the window of the diner for a long minute until Rei steps in front of him and tears it down.
It’s been three years since they took Miri in and changed their lives forever. Three years of figuring out how to raise a child and how to love someone else. He wouldn’t trade this life for anything.
“Papa Kazuki,” Miri says, tugging on his sleeve, “I thought we were going inside?”
“We are, sweetie, I just need a minute.” Kazuki stares at the windows of the place for another sixty seconds before he pulls the key from his pocket with shaking hands.
He unlocks the door and steps inside. Miri slips around him and dashes in, sneezing immediately.
The place has been on the market for a while and it shows in the dust covering everything. Still, Kazuki considers as he surveys the room, there’s nothing in here they can’t fix. The kitchen is intact, if a little outdated, and most of the furniture will need to be replaced, but the walls and roof are in good condition.
Miri, on the other hand, isn’t impressed. “Why is it so dirty in here?”
“It needs some work,” Rei says, already in the process of tying his hair up and out of the way. “Do you want to help redecorate?”
“Yes!” Miri takes off, disappearing behind the counter. At least she’s old enough now that Kazuki can see her head popping up behind it and know she isn’t getting into anything dangerous.
He turns in a slow circle, imagining the place as it’s meant to be. The large windows are ideal to provide plenty of light. A long wooden bar to separate the kitchen from the diner proper. Comfortable booths and tables to accommodate everyone from solitary businesspeople with cups of coffee and laptops to large families. He wants it to be cozy, like a…like a nest.
Diner Nest.
Kazuki smiles as he makes his way over to Rei and bumps him with his shoulder. “Are you ready for this?”
“No.” Rei wears a tiny smile. “I hope this city is ready for the best french toast it’s ever seen.”
Kazuki looks up at him, warmth blooming in his chest. “I love you.”
“Fuck off,” Rei says, but it sounds an awful lot like I love you too.