Chapter Text
Sometimes, Meredith wishes that she had stayed in San Francisco that night. Wishes that her car had broke down on the way home from the airport. Wishes that the airline had lost her luggage or anything if it meant that she didn’t find her husband balls deep in a faceless woman.
Other times, she’s grateful that she did, because she’s pretty sure that she wouldn’t be where she is today if that night never happened.
-&-
In all honesty, Meredith isn’t even surprised that it takes her a few moments to register his familiar moans and grunts when she walks through the front door. It's been a long three days and she wants nothing more than a few shots of tequila and a hot bath before crawling into bed with Mark. A weight has lifted from her shoulders now that she has taken the board exam, and though she is utterly terrified at what the future will bring, it's a relief to finally, finally, be at the end of her residency.
It's been a really long year.
Leaving her suitcase in the hall, she slips off her coat and heads to the drink cabinet to fetch that much needed bottle of tequila when she sees the two empty wine glasses on the coffee table. Her feet pause, the echo of her heeled boots sounding foreboding against the wooden flooring. Her heart beats a little faster when she sees the dark red lipstick stain on one of them. Turning to the stairs, Meredith pauses in disbelief and listens, really listens, and then she hears them, hears him.
She has the absurd urge to laugh rather than cry, because she had been expecting it to happen sooner or later despite his claim that Meredith was all he wanted. She’s not even surprised, especially after the last year of nothing but work and-
Hurt, yes. But not surprised. It was only a matter of time until he got sick of married life and decided to stick his dick in the first skank who smiled at him.
Red lipstick… seriously?
A soft, feminine cry echoes out and yeah, Meredith is so done with this shit.
She's back early. Sitting alone in a bar in San Francisco had been the last place she had wanted to be. Hell, she was even willing to step into this lonely house once more and just try rather than be alone any longer, so she got an early flight back.
How fucking ironic.
She briefly wonders if this is the first time that he's done this, brought another woman to their home without her knowledge, but she dismisses the thought as soon as it comes. She can’t let herself care anymore, not after this. She's done. Done with this life and trying to make it work, done with him, done with them. After five years she's tired of fighting a losing battle when he's obviously given up.
Having the audacity to bring a woman into their home, fucking her in their bed was his own way of telling her that it was over. He doesn't want her anymore.
It’s fine. It really is. She’s lived without him before; she can do it again.
Meredith slips her wedding ring off her finger. The heels of her shoes click on the wooden floor as she walks into the lounge and leaves the ring on the coffee table.
Her feet are carrying her up the stairs before she can talk herself out of it. The urge to run like the coward that she is battles against the fury that burns through her body. With every step she hears her mother's judgmental voice running through her mind.
"He will ruin your life, Meredith. He'll break your heart."
Like all advice Ellis gave her, Meredith ignored it and she sure as hell wishes she listened now.
Hesitating, she lays a hand on their bedroom door. She doesn't want to do this. She doesn't want to see him with another woman in their bed because for all of her talk, she doesn’t want this to be over. Doesn’t want to lose him because she will as soon as she opens this door-
"You're weak Meredith. Loving him will only get you hurt."
Meredith opens it and immediately wishes that she hadn’t.
Meredith doesn't pay any attention to the woman who is on her hands and knees other than to note that she’s blonde and got a set of tits Meredith would have killed for back when she was a teenager. No, her attention is fixed firmly on her husband as he fucks her from behind, his face twisted into an angry snarl as he fists her hair in his hand and pulls.
She really wishes she’d stayed in San Francisco.
It's the girl who notices her first. "Shit!" she cries, scrambling away from Mark and reaching for Meredith's favourite sheets to cover herself with. Meredith barely spares her a glance as she meets her husbands’ gaze.
"Meredith," Mark whispers in horror.
"I’m done," Meredith breathes, her voice little more than a whisper, and yet it's louder than any scream or shout could ever be. “I’m so fucking done.”
"Mer wait," Mark says, not bothering to cover himself up as he jumps off the bed and cautiously makes his way towards her as though she's a terrified animal who's about to make her escape.
He knows her far too well, for she's already backing away.
"Meredith, don't go-"
Meredith shakes her head, tears finally beginning to cloud her vision. "Why? Why would you do this?"
"Just wait, please."
But it's too late. She does what she does best.
She runs.
"Meredith!" Mark shouts, his voice shaking with anger and guilt. She does not turn as she hears him following her, her only thought is to get away from him before she breaks down. She stumbles blindly down the stairs and is almost at the front door when his strong hand wraps around her arm tightly and swings her around to face him.
"Get off of me!" Meredith cries, wildly struggling against him as he attempts to pull her to his chest.
"I'm sorry-"
"Just let me go!" Meredith pushes against him with all her strength, and it's only when they hear a floorboard creaking upstairs does he get distracted enough to loosen his grip on her. Meredith wrenches her arm back and slaps him cleanly across the face. Mark stumbles back from the force of it, his surprise clear on his face for her to see.
She's out the door before he can so much as take a step towards her. She prays that even Mark Sloan has some modesty to not come outside, but she's wrong as he trails after her.
She races to her car and manages to climb in and lock the door before he can reach her.
"Meredith, just talk to me." Tightening her hands on the steering wheel, she forces herself to breathe despite his pounding on her window and his pleas.
God, she's so fucking stupid. She had tried so hard to believe that they could get through this, that they could eventually get back to normal. There was no hope of that. He'd seen to that.
He'd done the one thing that he knows that she would never forgive.
She doesn't want to lose him, she needs him in her life and she despises it. She despises him and the whole fucked up world for putting her into this position.
She had the guy, the house, her budding career and just in one day Meredith Grey's perfect little life got fucked up. She may hate feeling vulnerable, but she hates being pitied more. The pitying looks she gets throughout the hospital haunt her every step. Hushed conversations about how the once legendary couple are falling apart and how long it will be until the divorce papers are signed.
Fuck them for being right.
But then the memories come, the day that they met, when he told her that he loved her, the day they got married, and when everything fell apart. She pushes that particular memory away and starts the car. Mark's shouts echo throughout the street, but she pays them no heed as she wipes away her tears.
She starts the car and drives away from him.
She's Meredith Grey. She's going to be the greatest neurosurgeon of her generation.
She is not weak, and she will get through this.
She will not let a man break her.
Not even Mark Sloan.