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What was Elise? An ability.
What was Elise to Mori? A selfish desire. What was Elise to the Port Mafia members? The boss's little girl, who they didn't talk about. Some thought it was his daughter, others knew he liked little girls. Everyone, without exception, just ignored it. They fulfilled her wishes, carried her on their shoulders, let her play, but they always returned her without comment. How could they; she was the boss's little girl. Mori's little girl.
But what was Elise to herself? She had her own conscience and her way of acting, that was obvious, but it wasn't always like that. She had already been just an obedient and older girl, consequently, taller. Until it became just a reflection of Yosano, it was like a switch that turned on a light in his mind. It was nothing he didn't want her to be.
Just when she thought she was acting on her own, she found that she wasn't. It was like molding a personality base and running the equation into the machine, hoping the results would be what you wanted. They always were, always became and delivered that little girl Rintarou wanted her to be. How could it not? She was just an ability, after all.
Her rebelliousness, as much as it might not seem like it, always had a limit. Ever. Ever. Ever. What was it always? Eternity, a doomed existence. Ever. Repetition when it was nothing more than a combat weapon, her nurse's clothes and needles. She didn't even like needles and injections, like any child, but that changed when her eyes became sharp and bright like a reptile that sees in the dark.
Lost among those dresses that were so pretty, but that she wouldn't want to wear. She loved red, she loved black, but she hated white. Loved blue, loved yellow but kept pink to a minimum. And to her unfortunate fate, she loved Mori. But that was just for the programming part, wasn't it? Being able to do whatever she wanted, having as many sweets as she wanted, always being neat, being able to make Rintarou's life hell, being cruel as much as she wanted, and being able to draw all the time... These were things she could do thanks to him.
But what was love really? How could she know beyond the walls of the Port Mafia? Or the crumbling lab in Yokohama's neutral zone? That monster loved little girls and that's why he loved Elise. That's why she didn't grow. His love was limited to age, the way he acted and how innocence dressed him well. It wasn't love, it was abuse. But she was just a kid, how could she point anything out? Even if he was smart, his mind had a stopping point.
She wanted to grow. She wanted to discover the world, she wanted to and would continue to want to. But wanting is not power. As much as she wanted it, she could never have it, after all, she was just a skill and she would never discover the world for herself. She depended on the wishes of that unhappy, greedy, unbearable man responsible for her existence, just like her prison. She wanted to be free and finally be able to become real, to become an adult.
When she was away from everyone's eyes, it was at that moment that she discovered that she could be more and she kept a great hatred in her chest, wanting to scream that she was more than a doll molded to his wishes. But out of everyone's gaze meant out of that monster's gaze, and unfortunately, it meant not being real. It meant the doll was sitting in a glass cabinet, seeing everyone and everything, but no one could see beyond their own reflections as she slammed her fists against that transparent door.
She dreamed of a world where she could be real, a world where she could be a teenager or an almost adult, be taller and be able to fulfill her wishes. It wouldn't matter if she was still trapped in the nurse's uniform and with Rintarou, she could finally know a little bit of what freedom means. But for now, she enjoyed it while she was still invoked and desired, since she knew it would never be different.
At the very least, she could watch and think that maybe Chuuya would understand her. He was an experiment and she wasn't much different from one, considering the things she had to experience. But he could grow up and he was free, at least more than she was. When she held his hand, she watched him with bright eyes and wished he could understand the pain inside her. Q didn't understand, Kyouka never understood, and it wasn't like Kouyou's ability spoke. She was there before them and would be there after too.
However, Chuuya was not human. He could detect abilities, almost like a trained dog, so he knew from the start that she never got past "Vita Sexualis" and didn't that make them alike? Both knew that they did not fit into the common concept of human existence. She could never verbalize such a thing, but she would keep that thought in her unreal heart.
Something in her chest had always told her that Osamu knew, but when did that demon not know? However, even if people thought he was always seeing beyond, he was a prodigy and not a seer. An abused mind used to liking in the darkness that even took over his eyes.
When Osamu was Rintarou’s source of fun, Elise's life was more peaceful and she even cared a lot for him, but the touch of his hand nullified it and because of that, she simply shrugged her shoulders. Pity never moved anything within the Port Mafia, and not even the young executive, when he thought he was freeing her when his touch found her small hand, managed to feel pity for her after a while. But sometimes, when she heard about how he had found the light, she smiled at the freedom she would never gain.
All that was left was for the little girl to sigh.
She already knew what her end would be anyway, just as she knew the end everyone would have. Because that's what Rintarou wanted, to know which pieces to sacrifice and which ones would be harmed in that giant war board that Yokohama will always be. A helpful little girl who foresees the future and fulfills your expectations as well as your wishes. That's what made Elise so perfect, especially when her drawings told him who to pick and who to leave behind.