Chapter Text
Now, Kim Dokja is not saying that God hates him, but they do have a rather terrible relationship.
Not terrible as in, God looked at him one day and went “OMme! That’s one ugly baby” *boom* “I shall curse you with bad luck!”(though there is a chance that actually happened) but terrible as in one day, he accidentally bumped into God in a convenience store and angry at the lowly mortal blocking his Godly path, he decided to punish said mortal by repeatedly kicking him in the balls.
In this case the mortal was Kim Dokja, and the God was, well, GOD.
Kim Dokja has gone through many things(horrible things if he may add) in his life, surely he deserves retaliating a bit in his own way, if that way just happens to be *cough* property damage *cough* nobody would say anything, right?
Hence Kim Dokja fed up with the bullshit the world decided to randomly toss at him again decided to steal a baseball bat from a child(the child was left unharmed, no need to worry), and (somehow)break the window of a public train and then proceed to jump off the train much to the horror of everyone involved in this situation.
*ahem* let’s backtrack a bit, now many of you may be wondering ‘what the heck is going on?’
Well you see it all started when Kim Dokja decided to wake up, a terrible decision if I may say so myself, and go to work, a worse decision if I may add, despite the fact that today was monday and nothing good ever happens on a monday, Kim Dokja like the idiot he was decided to ruin his chances of having a good day even further by deciding to read a web novel on his way to work.
Now, it is a common fact that it’s never a good idea to read a web novel in a public transport or while taking a walk, because there is always a 0.03% chance that you will end up dying and reincarnating into said web novel, which is not much but better safe than sorry. Unless you want to transmigrate… then do the exact opposite I guess.
The fact is Kim Dokja despite being aware of his Jet black luck decided to read a web novel about an apocalypse, on a train, and on a monday.
You can imagine what the outcome was. Or you can't, I don't know. I am gonna spell it out anyway.
Sorry about the delay, so it was no surprise when due to Kim Dokja’s Jet black luck the universe itself got confused and instead of Dokja transmigrating into a novel he’s barely read a few word of(which would’ve been terrifying in itself) the opposite happened, the entire world of the novel transmigrated in Dokja’s reality instead.
Though this was the first time Kim Dokja had read this particular novel by the name of “Three ways to survive a ruined world” he’s always been an avid reader and is familiar with the ‘trashy web novel’ genre.
Hence, when a fluffy creature introducing itself as a Dokkebi appeared out of thin air and started to announce what was probably the end of the world, Kim Dokja decided that he was in no way fit enough or smart enough to survive an apocalypse, especially one written by a underpaid trashy web novel writer. hence, he decided to end his pitiful life.
Upon making this(bad) decision Kim Dokja proceeded to snatch a metallic baseball bat out the hands of an unsuspecting teenager and continued to bash the window and as expected there was a hole in said window but not big enough for it to fit anyone.
Kim Dokja continued to bash the window.
He'd expected this, whatever method of keeping people trapped in here the Dokkebi was gonna use will not work until the said creature announces the scenario. So while the cute but definitely lethal ball of fur was busy being stunned Kim Dokja was able to create an opening big enough for him to go through.
Before the Dokkebi could realize what he was doing, Kim Dokja flipped off his middle finger towards the sky and to the top of his lungs yelled a “well, fuck you too God!” before jumping off the train and into the Han river. But not before giving his sort-of friend Yoo Sangha a sorrowful nod.
Yoo Sangha on her part just looked horrified, confused and flabbergasted at the same time.
The last thing he remembers thinking is “I was going to go with drowning but being eaten by a huge sea monster also sounds RAD.”
***
The fourth mistake Kim Dokja made that day was waking up, again, but this time in a large monster’s mouth, while it was still monday.
“Kill me…” Kim Dokja groaned before flopping back onto whatever rubble he was lying on.
“You are a weird human.” Kim Dokja looked up to see a cute and fluffy creature of horrors staring at him. I would like to classify this as his fifth mistake of the day. Personally I think he should’ve just ignored him.
But as always instead of doing the more sensible thing he decided to stare back at the cute creature of horrors before groaning into his hands.
“Go away, let me die in peace.”
[Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden headband’ finds this situation hilarious]
[1000 coins have been sponsored]
[Constellation ‘Scribe of heaven’ is worried about incarnation Kim Dokja’s mental health]
[700 coins have been sponsored]
[Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is chuckling at this turn of events.]
[500 coins have been sponsored]
Kim Dokja peeked at his message log before sighing louder. “I wanna go home, I wanna die, I wanna eat Ramen…”
[Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden headband’ is tugging on his hair while cackling]
[500 coins have been sponsored]
“Human you have somehow failed both the first and second scenarios, how you did so I can’t comprihend but I have decided to spare your life. But for a price.”
“I don’t need that, just kill me.”
“...excuse me?”
“I said just kill me, I thought I was pretty straight forward with the wording…”
“So it wasn’t just an act to attract the constellation’s attention, you really want to die.”
“Yeah.”
The fluffy creature of horrors just tilted his head onto one side, “Why?”
“You are cute so I will answer you, I was clearly not meant to live in an apocalypse, you know? I am weak and a bit stupid, might as well just die and spare myself the pain.”
Maybe it was Dokja’s words, maybe it was just a plot device but something about Kim Dokja reminded Bihyung of his own sufferings as a junior Dokkebi. He was looked down upon by his superiors and even among those of the same rank he was considered a weakling.
He wanted to just perish at many instances but he continued on, continued on despite the fact that no one including himself believed in him. Kim Dokja and him were the same.
“Dude why are you crying? Did I somehow offend you? You do look cute while crying though.”
[Constellation ‘Scribe of heaven’ has shed a single tear upon seeing this touching friendship.]
[3000 coins have been sponsored]
[Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is worried about Constellation 'Scribe of heaven']
[200 coins have been sponsored]
[Constellation 'Prisoner of the golden headband’ is cackling maniacally]
[500 coins have been sponsored]
[Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’ is amused by ‘incarnation Kim Dokja’]
[2000 coins have been sponsored]
[Constellation ‘Scribe of heaven’ politely greets Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’]
[Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’ has acknowledged Constellation ‘Scribe of heaven’s greeting]
[Constellation ‘Demon like judge of fire’ is feeling a bit overwhelmed by the presence of Constellation ‘Scribe and heaven’ and Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’]
[Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’ says that ‘it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, such is life’]
[Constellation ‘Scribe of heaven’ agrees with …..
“By the way, can you turn off this chat like thing? It’s annoying.”
[Constellation 'Abyssal black flame dragon’ is offended by ‘incarnation Kim Dokja’s attitude]
[Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’ says that ‘it’s only natural that young people have a bit more personality.']
[Constellation ‘Queen of the darkest spring’ agrees with Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’]
“No seriously, please turn this off. I am getting a headache.”
[Chanel #BI-7623 has been closed]
“OH, thanks dude.”
“Incarnation Kim Dokja!” Kim Dokja looked up to see the cute tiny fluff of horror.
“Umm, yeah?”
“You can’t give up now!” the cute fluffy creature screamed in Kim Dokja’s direction while fat drops of tears were still running down his face.
“Okay?”
“Because” the cute fluffy creature of horror took a dramatic pause(or maybe he just wanted to blow his nose) “I am going to make you the best incarnation across the entirety of Star stream!”
“Huh?”
***
[Chanel #BI-7623 has been opened]
To Kim Dokja’s surprise, the fluffy creature of doom was actually pretty nice, for some reason the creature had assumed that Dokja was depressed(a correct assumption) and wanted to help him.
He gave Dokja a heartfelt and tear-full(it was literally full of tears) speech about how everyone deserved to live, a bit hypocritical if you ask the author, you know since he was comparing humans to insects just a few hours ago, and how Dokja was a nice person deserving of nice things.
He even explained many functions of the so-called ‘Star stream’ to Kim Dokja and even told him about a few loopholes that he could use. The guy even gave Dokja a beginner’s improvement pack for free(Dokja still isn’t sure if that’s legal).
At this point he would feel bad if he were to disappoint the little fluffy creature of doom.
“I really want to die.”
[Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’ is saying that ‘death is but a social construct but this thought process does not seem healthy for a mortal to have.’]
“But I suppose it won’t hurt anyone if I were to live another day…”
[Constellation ‘Scribe of Heaven’ agrees with your statement]
[Constellation ‘Demon like judge of fire’ agrees with your statement]
[Constellation ‘Abyssal black flame dragon’ seeks blood and violence]
[Many Constellation agree with your statement]
[6000 coins have been sponsored]
[Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden headband’ is laughing maniacally]
[300 coins have been sponsored]
“Haaa… I hope I am gonna get paid enough to deal with this”
[Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’ does not think there is a need to use such profanities.]
[Constellation ‘God of peace and destruction’ supports your conviction]
Author’s spoiler: He does get paid enough to deal with this.