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Kara finally got it.
She had been wondering what this sinking, deafening feeling was. She hated it. It consumed her, made her sit alone at home with her head down and her face wet with rage.
Loneliness.
When she first came to this planet, she knew as soon as she found out that Kal no longer needed her that she was going to feel this. This overwhelming despair.
But she had Alex and Eliza and Jeremiah and then she lost him and got him back then lost him again.
But now... Now Alex had Maggie. James and Winn had formed their own group where their main goal was to push Kara out. Even J'onn had found M'gann.
So she was left, sat alone in her empty apartment.
She knew it was a selfish way to think. She beat herself up about it daily. But she wished she had someone.
She and Alex had resolved some things but she left again immediately after. Left Kara alone.
In the morning, she resolved, in the morning she could talk to Mon-El. Maybe she did like him? Maybe she just couldn't figure it out - even though when she looked at him, she felt nothing but his love for her. Something that meant very little to her.
Come to find him the next morning with Eve Tessmacher, the assistant she hired who seemed to be getting more and more in her way.
She understood. She had rejected him and he was moving on. She assumed she was supposed to be crushed about this revelation but she just felt like she had lost another friend.
She finished up her article super quick and went straight home. She changed into her sweats and sat on her couch alone. It was supposed to be Sister Night but Maggie had booked them a club. She had texted James and Winn but they both made up obscure excuses which just meant "Go away, Kara.”
She got it.
She even went so far as to text Mon-El to see if he wanted to train. Hard no for that one. And she didn't even want to think about interrupting J'onn's time with M'gann. If she found someone from Krypton now... Rao, she didn't even know what she would do.
So she was back in her evening routine ( at 5pm): sit and wait for crime to happen, extinguish it, go back to the crushing silence, repeat.
But today day was different. Today, there was a change in her routine. A knock on her door. At first she didn't even register it, thinking it must be her superhearing. No one knocked her door. Then she heard it, "Kara?"
She hadn't heard that voice since she was called a liar and was asked to leave. "Lena?" she whispered to herself. "Lena!" She could barely conceal her smile as she opened the door. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to stop by," she started at she walked towards the table. Kara ignored her and headed for the couch patting the seat beside her. "I wanted to ask you something." Kara smiled, "Shoot."
"You're friends with her, aren't you?"
"With who?"
"Her. Supergirl." Kara glanced upwards adjusting her glasses while she tried to stutter out an excuse. "She asked to ask me about my mother the other day. I actually feel kind of bad. I was rude to her, assumed the best in my mom, in Lillian. My mistake."
"There in no mistake in hope, Lena."
Lena smiled knowingly and looked at her. She looked at her like she truly saw her. She loved that about her. "You know," she began, "have I ever told you I really love how you say my name?"
Kara blushed, shuffling with her glasses as she spluttered, "Um, uh, no, not that I recall, no. Uh, w-why?"
"I do. Most people they say it paired with Luthor, and that leaves a bad taste in their mouth. Or they spit it, like they want to get it out and as far away from them as possible. But you," she smiled, knowing again, "you say it so perfectly. Like it's something so familiar to you. 'Le-na.' You breathe the end like its given you new life."
Kara blushed again.
"Then the other day, when I was in denial about my mother, Supergirl, she was urging me to believe her she sounded so vulnerable, so human. And she said, "you are not your family"." She laughed. "She said, "Please, Le-na."" She looked at Kara who had her head down. "You aren't just friends with her; you're her, arent you?"
She got a nod in return. "I'm so so sorry, Lena. I'm not- I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times and I just-"
"Sorry? Kara! Why on earth would you be sorry?! This is amazing! You're amazing! I mean I always knew that but Kara, you're super! That's fantastic!”
She looked anywhere but at Lena with tears in her eyes. "You're not mad? You're not leaving?" "Leaving?" She ducked her head to catch her eyes.
"Kara, I am so proud of you. You astound me every day. Why... why would I leave over something like this?"
She shrugged and let out a half laugh/sob. "People have left for less." She wiped her eyes. "Rao, I hated lying to you, Lena. I hated it every day."
"It's alright. I know now. And we're good. No more secrets?"
"No more secrets," she swore, nodding. They sat in a comfortable silence before Kara reached for the blanket behind them and threw it over them both. "You know, I was worried about coming over. I thought it was sister night?"
Kara snorted. It was laughable that Lena could keep a better track of their sister nights than Alex could. "That's not really a designated thing anymore... we, we hang out where we can. Even if that's just work... nowadays..."
Lena nodded solemnly then spoke, "I... I started watching, uh, the Crown?"
"You did? Oh, do you love it?!" "I've seen better."
"Please! Name one."
"I always enjoyed Reign."
"Yeah, that fits." "Fits what, Kara Danvers."
"Fits your vibe, Lena Luthor." Her tone was flooded with kind familiarity. "So elegant, regal. Fancy!" She laughed.
Lena laughed along. "I am not fancy!"
"Oh, please! You are the definition of fancy! Your fancy dresses, your fancy hair, your fancy eyes!"
"My eyes?!" She jestered.
"Oh, come on! They didn't have to be so entrenchingly green!" Her grin faded slightly as she looked deep into the other woman's eyes.
As they locked eyes, Lena couldn't help but lean in at the same time Kara did.
Just before they're noses brushed they heard sirens. Kara jumped at the sound and had the decency to blush and look away. Shockingly, Lena did the same.
"Uh, duty calls..." Kara awkwardly pointed to the balcony window. "I can uh drop you off or, uh..."
"If it's alright, I think I'll stay here. I don't want to waste your time to catch the bad guys."
"Of course not; its just, well, you know-"
"Kara,” she interrupted. The blonde looked to her with her big doe eyes and it almost physically pained Lena say, "Go!"
The save was easy. An accidental fire in an apartment complex. She had put it out and rescued all the residents.
When she arrived back she found Lena looking through movies with intense concentration in Kara's sweatpants. She looked up when she heard the familiar whoosh.
"I'll never get over that. My best friend can fly." She looked down and blushed.
"I hope you don't mind. The dress was getting a little uncomfortable and if we're going to have a movie night..."
"Not at all," Kara grinned, "You look better in them than I do." The other woman blushed again and patted the spot next to her.
Kara supersped to got changed and came back fully clean but with her nose covered in soot.
Lena laughed as she took her seat beside her. She frowned. "What?" She then saw her reflection in the window. "Oh." At least she had the sense to look bashful. She shrugged and nuzzled deeper into her corner of the couch. "Who cares? I'm tired."
Lena had wisely put on The Wizard of Oz.
"Lena?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you." For being so accepting, for staying with her, for not being mad at her, or leaving her. For being Lena.
"Of course."
Then Kara wasn't so alone anymore