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-Do you have a moment?
-No, not really –keeps walking.
-I think we need to talk.
-Yeah? I don’t think so.
-Danny, please.
The blond stops, turns around.
-What? I’m busy here.
-Come on, Danny; let’s go to Steve’s office. I’ll only borrow a few minutes of your time.
-Go to Steve’s office…. I’ll tell you something; Due to things you don’t need to know and I don’t want to explain, I had to come back and what did I find? All the lights off, as it should be…and something that wasn’t normal at all…you… here. Who gave you the liberty to come and go through our facilities when there’s no one around? You’re not Five-0 anymore so, you know, you shouldn’t be wandering. For a moment I really thought you were a ghost.
“Unluckily I was wrong”
-True. Accept my apologies. But, come on, it’s only me. Someone could say you don’t trust me anymore –gives him an insincere laugh- Let’s go to your office then.
-If you insist.
Both go to the agreed place without share any other word. Danny enters first, not caring about polite gestures. And Catherine shouldn’t complain, even more, should be happy for not having her face hit accidentally by the glass door.
-We’re on my office so, now what?
-Let’s go to the nub of the issue; at this moment, I don’t like the way things are between us.
-Everything is fine, as always.
-That’s not true. Danny, please, don’t lie to me; I’m not stupid.
-Not at all, you’re a very clever woman.
-That’s why I know you resent me.
-Why could I?
-Maybe because I let Steve behind.
-You said it, not me.
-Is what you’re thinking.
Danny laughs ironically.
-Believe me Catherine; you have no idea of what’s on my mind.
-So is even worst that I feared.
The brunette frowns; the blond snorts.
-Believe me when I say that what I feared the most while I was on the plane to Hawaii wasn’t Steve’s welcome…
“Obvious, you still know how to sweet-talk him”
….not, it was your anger at seeing me here. I know you and what would you think about my return.
-Yeah, right.
-It’s true! You hated what I did…sometimes I do it too.
-Sometimes –snorts once again- that’s the problem with you. You don’t see anything wrong in the way you acted… After all, you are perfect Catherine, who never doesn´t do anything wrong, right?
-There were little boys, Danny…I thought you, of all people, would understand my decision.
-I could understand that. The question is…Did you really try it enough?
Catherine doesn’t answer.
-That’s what I thought.
-You wouldn’t understand, you’ve never…
The brunette doesn´t end what she was going to say; the fury in Danny’s eyes frightens Catherine as nothing ever did.
-Danny…-tries instead, failing because now is the blond who doesn´t let her finish.
-Don’t try to win me over with worlds because is a waste of your time…and mine. This is all I’m going to say: You told him to keep going with his life because you were happy being so far away, without take into account what he really wanted, or needed.
-That’s not true.
-Yeah, whatever. It was hard for Steve, almost tore him apart, but as with everything else he had to confront through his life, he focused his efforts in overcome the adversity and did it, and being him, how not, successfully. He was fine, calm; I’d even dared to say that he was happy. But suddenly, who knows why, maybe because after so many months you needed some shags and I wouldn’t blame you, we’re talking about Steven after all, you’re back. Am I pleased with that? Not at all but Steve is happy because you’re here and, at the end, that’s all that matters to me. And I really, really, really, really hope, from the bottom of my heart that you stay for real this time because, if you break his heart again, you’ll know what I’m capable of.
-I’ve heard things, so I think I have some idea of what you’re capable of.
Immediately those words make Danny to raise an eyebrow.
-What a cheap shot. I was going to say I didn’t expect something like that from you, but who I’m kidding? What else can you expect from a….vixen like you? What do you think about vixen? I think it really suits you. Or maybe you’d prefer lizard; sounds good too–smiles innocently.
-Wow, you really hate me.
-Right now all my hatred is still focused on another woman…lucky you.
-Think whatever you want, Danny, I still appreciate you.
Catherine pouts while the blond controls himself to not roll his eyes facing such fake exhibition of distress.
-Sorry, I don’t; hypocrite people aren’t my thing.
The brunette is in a fume; Danny can see it clearly and enjoys it. He won’t lie about it; is great to get to someone’s nerves, especially someone as despicable as that woman in front of him, the woman he once liked, considered a friend and even, as much as it hurt, the perfect match for Steve.
-Did you know he asked me to marry him? –says triumphantly.
-Are you really asking that? Of course I do. Who do you think he asked for advice about it?
Catherine is surprised. Though, thinking about it, obviously Danny would be the first one to know about Steve’s intentions.
“He’s the first when…in… everything and you know he always will"
-And he still did it –the brunette carries on- So the question is…he didn´t listen to the rant I’m sure you gave him, or you’re a hypocrite too, you know, for lying to him.
-I didn´t tell him not to marry you. I didn´t lie to him either; never have and never will. I have the impression you couldn’t say the same, I’m wrong?
Once again, Catherine can’t reply. And for each answer she can’t give, the animosity for the man in front of her raise a little bit.
-I thought so –Danny laughs disdainfully.
-So what did you do? Must be something you did to make my name mud.
-You’re wrong. All I did was to be honest and let him know that I didn’t like the idea, that I was reticent, that even I was against it due to what happened in Afghanistan, after, and even maybe for some other things I didn’t like before that. But I let him know too that as always, I’d had his back and if he was so sure about your commitment with him, he was free to go for it; because whatever he’d have decided, he was going to have my support.
-Oh, so you gave him permission to ask the question? –asks ironically.
Danny’s big guffaw makes Catherine uncomfortable.
-Is a way to look at it because believe me, dear, if I wanted you gone of his life for good, you’d already been.
-You’re too sure.
-Why wouldn’t I, when I know it’s true.
-You…
-Me? At this moment, I’m a little confused. I mean, why Steve hasn’t already come to me announcing the great news? What’s the problem, eh? Your commitment with him is as poor and volatile as it was when you decided to abandon him to his fate at his greatest moment of weakness. Is that? –Grins.
-You have no right to…
-Really? –Interrupts her- I was the one who had to face the despair of the shouts he growled thinking it was going to be the end, an end completely alone. Yes, don’t look at me that way. There was a video recording his impending execution. And luckily I had access to it after the nightmare was over; once he was safe, unconscious in a bed. I’m sure I couldn’t have survived the heart attack I would have at that moment if I’d witnessed it –Danny closes his eyes, visibly touched by the memory- What I watched there was something I will never forget, and I’ve seen horrible things –sighs- So yes, I have the right. I was the one who brought him home, the one who went to Afghanistan the same way that would had gone to the very same Hell itself for him. So don’t come here with that superiority “earn” by years of service because we're equals. When is needed, I’m as qualified as you.
Catherine can’t refute that, and it stings.
-It was something very noble from your part. Not everyone could have done something as extreme as what you did.
-Like you, for example, right? I may not be a SEAL, a marine, a soldier, an airman or whatever you want to name it, but as all of them I’m loyal and I’d do anything, everything for the ones I love.
-And that includes him.
-Yeah, and very high on the scale.
The brunette woman stares at the man that once was a friend; now considers her greatest enemy. Ok, she can admit that she did some things wrong, and being possible to turn back time, maybe would have changed some decisions, but anyway, this is too much. Everyone else seem ready and more than able to forgive her, then why Danny doesn´t?
Ok, they’re talking about his best friend, and yeah, she knows friendship can be a very profound tie, but going so far as that visceral hatred she knows is there? It’s too much even for someone as hot-blooded as Danny. No, there must be something much deeper than a mere best friendship.
Her eyes open wide, her lips tremble as the realization hits her on the face, not as a little slap but a big bad punch; it hurts as much.
“Shit, you’re screwed, Cath. You could fight anything…but that”
-Oh, god, how I didn´t see it before –tries to conceal her emotions but her shaking body betrays her.
-What are you talking about? –suddenly, Danny’s on guard.
-Is not only that you love him, you’re in…
-Hey!
Both turn around to find a confused Steve looking first to Danny, then Catherine.
-Hey, I thought you were at home –says the blond, trying to deflect attention from what, he fears, Catherine was going to tell.
-I could say the same about you –Steve smiles to his friend.
-I forgot something here.
-Funny, me too –says sincerely, scratching his neck, a bit shyly- And you, what are you doing here –asks looking at Catherine.
The woman gets closer to him, for a quick peck.
-I thought you’d be here –the brunette says no more than that, and for first time in a very long time, Danny is grateful to her.
-It’s late. Why did you assume I’d still be here?
-Love, we’re talking about you –smiles to him lovingly, looking Danny sideways.
Danny clears his throat.
-Well, I’ll let you two alone.
-Danno, is your office.
-I’ll remind you that the next time I want to drive my car.
-Nice try…
Both men smile to each other, being now Catherine the one who clears her throat.
-As I said Catherine when we met, I was in a hurry…and that was too many minutes ago. Sorry, I can’t stay. Anyway, I’m sure you won’t miss me much.
-Oh, ok. Charlie?
-Yeah.
-Is everything right?
-Perfect, don’t worry.
-Really?
-Yeah, Steve, I swear.
-Is something wrong with Rachel and Stan’s son?
Both men share a stare; none of them give any explanation.
-As I said, I must go. We’ll talk later –tells to Steve.
-Danny, as always, a pleasure to see you –smiles Catherine.
-Likewise –murmurs with his back to his friend and his future fiancé.
Steve observes his friend go. He isn’t sure what, but definitely there’s something wrong, he can sense it.
-Is everything ok? –Steve turns to look at Cath.
-Of course. I came looking for you and seeing I couldn’t find you, I came to ask Danny if he knew where you were.
Steve bites his lip to not shout “liar” to Catherine’s face.
-I thought we were going to meet at my house.
-Yeah…let’s say I couldn’t wait to see you – gets closer, putting her arms around Steve’s neck.
-Good, then.
After a quick kiss that Cath tries to take further, the navy SEAL moves away.
-Let’s go to my office.
-Come on, Steve, we’re not going to tarnish this office with a few kisses. Although, if you’re up for it…
Steve separated completely from her, clearly upset.
-What the hell?! I won’t do that here. How can you even suggest it? It would be so fucking rude, and let’s not talk about what Danny would do the moment he finds it, because he would, believe me.
-Ok, ok, ok…let’s go to yours then.
-No, stay here; or better wait outside. It’ll only take a minute.
-Don’t worry, go – says when Steve has already left the office, arms spread out, eyebrows raised, surprised by Steve’s behavior.
5050505050
-Finally –comments Catherine crossing Steve’s home’s front door. The ride home has been a very silent one. It was obvious that Steve had his mind very far away and she is afraid to ask where it was…or, even worst, whom. After what she discovered this afternoon, she doesn´t know what to think about anything, anymore.
-Sorry, I know I haven’t been the perfect travelling companion.
-And why was so?
-Tiredness, I suppose.
-Well…-tries to sound inciting- is too soon to go to bed but I wouldn’t object –plays with the buttons of his shirt, opening the ones above- if you already want to retire for.
-To sleep?
-Or not, whatever you want.
-I´m not… -bites his lip.
-You’re not in the mood? Don´t worry; I´ll take you there.
Catherine can see quite clearly that she’s losing him.
-Come on, Steve, since when do you refuse to get laid? Besides, we have lots to catch up.
-Ok, let´s go to bed –there´s no trace of enthusiasm on his voice.
-Wow, clearly you can’t wait… -rolls her eyes, holding back a tantrum.
5050505050
-Ok, sailor, what´s the problem?
-Mm?
-This morning we had the greatest sex since my return and now, after what I did with my mouth for half an hour, you still didn´t get a boner. And don’t try to the tiredness excuse because we’ve fucked with you half death. So again, what’s the problem?
-Nothing, really, I’m getting older, I suppose because is true, I’m tired.
-Hard case?
-Not especially.
“Cath, you’re masochist, and not in the good and pleasant way”
-Neither Danny nor you told me what´s the problem with that little boy of Rachel and Stan´s.
-Sorry, it´s not my place.
-I didn’t know Danny had contact with the boy. Ok, is Grace’s half-brother but…God! Is his, right? Rachel lied. Come on, you didn´t say anything. Only tell me if is true.
-Ok. Danny is the father. And that is all that going to come from my mouth.
-Thank you. So is him, the boy, who have you so worried, if that´s the word. Why, Danny lied about something?
-No, of course, not! If Danny said there wasn´t a problem is because there isn´t any.
-Then…
-Who I’m worried about is Danny.
“What a surprise!”
-Why?
-Too many things.
-Of you can´t talk about, right?
-Not that I can´t, simply I don´t want to.
-Because is me.
Steve fixes his gaze on Cath.
-Come on, I know perfectly Danny’s opinion about my return.
-You know how he is…
Steve smiles, with that brightness that Catherine is only capable of see in his eyes when is Danny the one who´s being looked at…or, as in this occasion, mentioned. It tears her heart into million pieces to know that Steve will never look at her with so much love. Because that unique gleam is that: the way Steve silently shouts his love for his Danno.
-Sorry? Didn´t catch the last part.
-Not much, only that by now you should know by now how he likes to blow things out of proportion. Between us, I think he´s afraid of you… -Steve shuts up.
-I know he thinks I´m going to hurt you again. But I won´t; I promise.
-Give him some time; he´ll let it go.
-I´m sure he will; he’s a good man.
-The best.
Catherine looks a Steve with sadness in her eyes. He doesn´t seem to notice it at all.
-Maybe we can try it again; I’d say I’m in the mood now.
“Yeah, after, consciously or not, think and talk about him”
-Before we do anything and I tell you my answer, I need to ask you something, and I need you to be completely truthful.
-Shoot –smiles with doubt.
-Why do you wanna marry me?
The surprise in Steve’s eyes is evident.
-What kind of question is that?
-Please, answer; it’s important, you have no idea how much.
-I want to do it because I love you, we’re good together, I’ve known you forever, we can make it work…and I want you to stay here.
Catherine studies Steve and that nervousness so unlike him.
-You want me to stay. Why? You know; the truth.
Steve briefly closes his eyes; sighs after open them. Catherine knows her time has come. His eyes are talking about honesty.
-I want you to stay because while you were gone….and became a memory of the past, my mind sometimes, when less expected, don’t really know how or why, went to places I really didn´t understand at the same time that I had this feeling inside that was telling me that I shouldn’t go there.
-Places? You’re talking about…
-Feeling, needs….longs for that I couldn’t really explain and terrified me so fucking much because, somehow, I knew none of them had anything to do with you.
“So this is how the beginning of the end looks like”
-So having me here means that you won’t feel or need anymore whatever it is that terrifies you so.
-That’s what I hoped. Sorry.
-I asked for honesty. I can’t blame you.
They share a stare in silence.
-Not sure if you’re realize it, but when you listed the reason why you wanted to marry me you didn’t tell the most important and basic one for a step as crucial as marriage.
-What is?
-You didn’t say…you’ve never said to me “I’m in love with you”
-What? I love you.
-You do, but you love other people too.
-Ok, then, I want to marry you because I’m in love with you.
-For being a SEAL, sometimes you suck at lying.
-So the answer is no. You don’t want to marry me because I don’t love you enough?
“Cath, this time you can do the right thing. Will hurt, but is what you need to do”
-I’d love to become your wife, but I won’t marry you. If after all this time, after all we’ve lived together you didn’t fall in love with me, time won’t change anything. I suppose you’re the one for me, but I know I’m not THE ONE for you-–Catherine smiles a little, her eyes shining with tears.
-Cath…
-I think the best thing I can do right now is go home. You need to think –gets up from bed, a sheet covering her body up, and locks herself in the bathroom.
A couple of minutes later, Catherine gets out the bathroom dressed, ready to depart.
-Steve, are you ok?
-No, I’m not ok. You’re breaking up with me. Why? Why isn’t enough what I can give you. I can’t give you more.
-I know, and it´s ok.
-Why I’m not enough? –murmurs devastated.
-Steve, you’re much more than enough. And you deserve to feel what real love is, what be in love feels like and sadly I can’t give you that. That’s the reason why I’m giving you freedom to search the love of your live. I love you that much though there had been times that statement didn´t seem real.
The navy SEAL averts his eyes, unable to look at the brunette without break. T
-Come one, Steve, change that face. Sadness is a very ugly look on you. Don’t worry; you won’t have to search much to get that love.
-I’ve never been in love –confess.
-So if you never felt that before, who tells that you aren’t already in love and you didn´t realized it yet?
-But we both know that I’m not in love with you.
-I wasn’t talking about me.
-I don´t understand.
-I’m sorry, I can’t help you.
-You’ve been the only woman that…
Catherine finally breaks and cries.
-I’m going to miss you so much –smiles, wiping her eyes.
-Don’t go.
-Have to. Is the best, and not only for us.
-Our Ohana will be devastated.
-I’m not talking about them.
-About who, then?
-The one that’s already waiting for you.
-I’m lost here.
-Think about those places you’ve talked about. Or not, better don´t think…just feel…feel them freely. It´s all you need to find the answer.
Catherine goes to the bed. Kiss Steve on the cheek.
-Goodbye, sailor.
The brunette turns around, living the bedroom, quickly leaves the house too.
Steve’s feels numb, petrified. He loses track of how much time passes till the moment that Catherine’s words begin to echo in his head over and over again.
“ don´t think…just feel… don´t think…just feel… don´t think…just feel… don´t think…just feel…”
Closing his eyes, Steve tries to escape the solitude of his bedroom.
“……just feel… just feel… just feel… just feel…feel….feel…feel… feel….feel…feel… feel….feel…”
The SEAL opens his eyes, astonished; Starts to laugh, hysterically, but most of all, happy.
-Oh my fucking God…. Danny…….Danny………Danny.
Keeps laughing.
-I’m in love.... I'm in love.......I'm in love.
-Thanks for read-