Work Text:
There was a time when Kanade's home had been so lively.
Her father's lovely music was played across the house, filling up any quiet space. Her mother, chatting with her father, stood in the kitchen, humming as she cooked for her small family, the delicious smell of food covered the house. Kanade, still young and energetic back then, tried to help her mother by peeling off the egg shells, laughing and fake-fuming as her father sneakily attacked her from behind. Her mother had laughed, her laughter rang like bells, and Kanade thought there could be no other voice that's more beautiful than her mother's.
"Mommy, mommy!" Young Kanade tugged her mother's dress, presenting the egg she had peeled with pride. "Look! I perfectly peeled an egg! Isn't it cool?"
Her mother bent down and kissed her forehead, eyes gleaming with pride and happiness. "Of course, darling. The coolest thing. Won't you show your father, too?"
Young Kanade smiled from ear to ear, and ran off to boast to her father about the egg. Her mother smiled fondly as she turned back and continued cooking, the sound of Young Kanade and her father's loud chatting filled the house. Then, they'd sat around the table, delicious food covered the surface, as the small family joked around with each other, laughed at some funny things, and talked about all the small plans for a vacation.
It was warm.
"Father?" Kanade, now in middle school, poked her head into the kitchen. Her father stood there, trying to cook some food. He had always insisted he could cook alone, but Kanade couldn't help but walk into the kitchen and help him peel some carrots.
"You don't have to help me, you know." He smiled warmly. Kanade shook her head, stubborn.
"You look so tired lately. I know you've been working hard for our family, father, so I have to help out somehow."
Her father only chuckled. "Do you even know how to properly peel the carrots? You're cutting in too deep, you know."
Kanade blinked, and looked down at her work. "...oh," she mumbled, flustered.
Her father only laughed, and guided her through the process. His hands were much skinnier, but they still retained a warmth Kanade could only remember from before her mother's passing. They tried their best to prepare the ingredients, and nearly an hour later, they sat down at the table, two plates of somewhat decently made curry placed opposite from each other. They talked, Kanade told her father about the up-coming event at school, while her father listened intently, the sound of cutlery mixed with her voice.
"I'm sorry, Kanade," he said, somewhere in the middle of the conversation. Kanade paused, surprised. "I haven't quite been present these days. I got so absorbed in my work that you had to get takeouts for us recently."
But you're still here, she thought. You're still here with me, eat with me, talk with me. There's nothing for you to apologize for. Please don't apologize. If only I could help more…If…
"It's okay." She smiled. "You've been working so much to provide for me, father. I couldn't ask more than that."
Her father was struggling on producing music recently, wasn't he? Kanade had always been around him, watching him work since little, so she knew a few things about music. Perhaps, perhaps she could help him out that way…
The light in the kitchen was off when she walked into it.
Silence followed her when she got out her kettle and poured water into it. Silence followed her when she stood, waiting, mind oddly blank. Silence was broken for a second with the noise of the kettle, then came back full force as she took it, poured the hot water into the cup noodle, and became even more prominent as she sat down at the table, slurping the noodles, no talk, no jokes, no one sitting with her.
The noodles were hot, yet she had never felt any colder.
She sometimes saw her mother, standing in the kitchen, humming. She sometimes saw her father, sitting at the table, smiling warmly at her. She sometimes saw herself, running around, helping around, then she blinked, and all she could see was an empty, cold kitchen, no longer used except for the kettle.
She stopped eating in her kitchen all together.
Pancake_lover:
k have u eaten
K:
Yes, I had some cup noodles earlier today.
Pancake_lover:
???
you also said that like
basically every other day
dont tell me u just eat cup noodles everyday k istg
K :
Well, it's easy to cook and I can eat it while working.
Pancake_lover:
?
????
im coming over
K:
Huh?
Pancake_lover:
im coming over wait for the door
K:
But don't you have practice today?
Pancake_lover:
i SAID im COMING OVER
Akito, in all of his 14-year-old glory, was rummaging through her kitchen, looking for ingredients. Kanade, after being deemed "practically fucking useless in the kitchen", had been forced to sit at the table. She didn't really mind, and then she was tasked with guiding Akito through the place that was her kitchen, except she could barely remember where everything was placed. It's been a long time since the last time she really tried to cook anything but cup noodles.
"Well," he sighed tiredly, scratching his head after finding nothing usable in the kitchen except for some seasonings, "Aren't I glad that I bought some groceries before I came here."
"Sorry." She looked down, flustered. Akito only heaved an exasperated sigh as he took out all the things he bought.
"It's fine. I was buying some cheesecake for my sister, anyway. Doesn't really matter to me."
Kanade hummed at the mention of his sister. "Is your sister in a bad mood again? I remember you telling me you usually buy sweets for her when she's down."
"Jeez, it's been months, how do you still remember that?" he grumbled. "She's just extra annoying to deal with when she's down, that's all." Then he turned back, rolling up his sleeves, and Kanade took it as a sign to end the conversation lest Akito become too flustered and probably accidentally burn something down.
Akito worked fast and efficiently. She watched him dashing around the kitchen like it was his kitchen, not hers. A question bubbled up in her throat, and before she realized it she already blurted it out. "I didn't know you could cook so well, Aki."
Akito paused in his movements, and before she's about to beat herself up for saying such a stupid thing when he's clearly hyper focused, Akito only shrugged and said. "Well, someone has to when Mom's not coming by. And it sure isn't my sister." He did not mention his dad. She knew of him enough to keep silent.
"And it's not like I know how to cook everything." The egg mixture fizzled as Akito poured it on the pan, chopsticks folding the egg. "Just some easy dishes. And pancakes."
She nodded. "I see."
Akito hummed, and they fell silent. But that's fine. Akito wasn't exactly talkative, and neither was her. This silence was much more comfortable than the one that had been accompanying her up until recently, anyways. She wondered if it had anything to do with Akito coming around more often.
It was exactly fifteen minutes later (she counted) that Akito put down a dish she hadn't seen in quite a while. "Omurice." He said, like she didn't know of the dish, then sat down in front of her with a plate of his own. Kanade blinked in surprise, not expecting him to eat with her, but said nothing about it, and silently enjoyed the company.
She took her cutlery and put a spoonful of egg and rice in her mouth. Akito stared at her intently, his own cutlery hadn't been touched. "Well?" he asked, impatient.
She hummed, chewing, letting the flavor engraved deep into her taste. "It's delicious." She looked at him and smiled. "I haven't eaten something so flavorful like this in quite a while."
She watched Akito stammer, face flushed red from...embarrassment? "It's just normal omurice." She'd like to say otherwise, but he continued anyway. "Though, you do eat cup noodles everyday, so there's a chance your taste buds might be screwed there."
Kanade hummed, and said nothing to the potential truth. Akito huffed, then finally took the spoon and started eating his food. It's quiet; they didn't talk about anything, nor joke about anything. Kanade's headphone was still connected to her computer, and Akito's phone was dead, having to be charged with Kanade's charger, so there wasn't any music, either.
Yet.
Yet, Kanade did not find the cold in the silence. Instead, she found warmth instead, the slow kind of warmth that seeped slowly into her, that made her heart felt lighter, and made her smiling stupidly down at her food as she scooped up another spoonful and ate it.
"What are you smiling for?" Akito asked, voice harsh, but not unkindly. Kanade shook her head.
"Nothing."
"Sure." The skepticism was clear in his tone.
Kanade laughed gently. "I mean it, it's nothing important. I'm just…happy."
Oh.
That was the warmth she'd been feeling, wasn't it?
"Aki."
"Hm?"
Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you befriending me. Thank you for caring for me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
"I'm glad you're here." She smiled. Akito stared back, mouth hanging a bit, then he clamped it shut and looked down at his plate, shoving the food into his mouth. Kanade couldn't help but notice his red ears.
They washed the dishes after that, when Akito was finally convinced that Kanade wouldn't immediately drop a plate upon first holding it. They stayed in her room for a while after that, Kanade composing music as usual, while Akito sat beside her, listening to his playlists while watching her work. It wasn't until 9PM that Akito decided that perhaps it's a bit late and decided to go home. Kanade followed him to the door to say goodbye, like how all their other interactions at her home ended.
"For the record, K," he turned back to her after putting on his shoes, looking embarrassed. "Um. I'm happy you're here, too."
Kanade blinked, surprised, but before she managed to say anything, Akito had already taken off, running back home.
Kanade could only smile at that.
Sometimes, Kanade felt like she could never thank Mochizuki enough.
Kanade's home had always been dark and lonely. All the curtains had been closed, all the lights had been off, and the only consistent source of light that Kanade had gotten from the past years had been from her computers or the sunlight that had managed to get past her curtains. Even when Akito came by, the kitchen light was turned on for an hour at most, then they either left to her room or he went back home, and the house was dark again.
Then Mochizuki came, bringing the light with her, and her house had never been brighter.
It's not just the light that Mochizuki changed. Whenever Mochizuki was working, it was not silence that followed her, but instead it was quiet humming of music, little chit chats, and the sound of cooking from the kitchen. Kanade never knew that her home could be so lively like that again, and she couldn't help but feel infinitely grateful for Mochizuki.
"Yoisaki-san?" Ah, speaking of the angel. Mochizuki walked into her room, hand holding a plate of food, smiling gently at her. "I see you're still at it. I hope I didn't disturb you."
"You didn't." Kanade shook her head, taking off the headphones that Akito bought her on her sixteenth birthday. "Is there something you need?"
"Ah, it's nothing much, it's just…" Mochizuki hummed, a finger on her chin. "I noticed that you haven't been out of your room at all today, so i worried that you might haven't eaten anything, and so i decided to make you something is all."
"Oh." Kanade blinked, realizing how hungry she was. "Thank you so much, Mochizuki-san."
"It's nothing, Yoisaki-san. I'm only doing my job." She smiled, pulling back the curtains and let the warm, gentle afternoon light seeped into her room.
"Alright, I'll leave you to it, Yoisaki-san," said Mochizuki, turning around and leaving the room. "If there's anything you need, please call me."
Kanade blinked, and before she could properly think about it, she already blurted out. "Ah, please wait, Mochizuki-san."
Mochizuki paused, surprised. Kanade herself was also surprised, considering on a normal daily basis she would never do something like this. "Um," she tumbled, "would you like to stay here, for a bit? Well, if you don't mind it, that is-"
"I'm fine with it, Yoisaki-san." Mochizuki smiled, and walked back to the room. "Hm…is there anything you want to talk about?"
"...if you wish, you can tell me about your day."
"Of course." And so, Mochizuki sat on her bed, and started talking about all the things that happened to her today. Slowly, it started to stray from the original topic to her band, to their progress, and then just her bandmates in general. Kanade ate the food, listened intently, as she unknowingly smiled at Mochizuki's stories. It's clear that Mochizuki cared so much about her bandmates, what's with how her eyes seemed to soften at the thought of them, and her smile looked so, so fond. It reminded Kanade so much of her mother and father; of their caring, loving smile that she could only imagine now, of the small little things they did throughout the day, yet not useless. Kanade missed them.
"Yoisaki-san?" Mochizuki's voice rang, throwing her off whatever daze she got into.
"Yes, Mochizuki-san?"
"...it's nothing." Mochizuki smiled at her, the same fond, warm smile. "It's just that you seemed to be far away, so I'm glad you're here now."
Kanade blinked, surprised. And she found herself smiling back, heart warm and thankful.
"I'm glad I'm here, too."
Thank you.
"I thought we've established that you're not allowed in the kitchen, like, ever."
Kanade, standing in the middle of the self-made warzone that was her kitchen, could only look down in shame.
Akito sighed. The rare day he managed to get by, and he arrived witnessing the kitchen looking nothing like the kitchen it was supposed to be, and more of a hazard.
"What are you even doing, anyway?" He asked, helping her clean all the flour she somehow got on herself. "I thought you only ever eat cup noodles when me or Mochizuki isn't around. Is there any occasion I don't know about?"
Kanade shook her head. "There isn't. I'm just…" she gnawed her lips. "I just want to try to make something."
Akito raised an eyebrow. Kanade looked anywhere but at him.
Akito sighed exasperatedly. "You're an awful liar," he stated. Kanade kept silent as she tried to clean up her kitchen. They worked silently, putting back all the leftover ingredients, and it wasn't until Kanade finished putting back all the bowls and plates she had gotten out that Akito said. "I could teach you some dishes."
Kanade turned back, surprised. She saw the way Akito fidgeted, the way he looked away from her, ears tipped red, and knew that if she dared say anything else he'd take off and bash his head into the wall and she'd never see him again. That or he'd just immediately take back what he said, which sounded more reasonable but not Akito-ish. She stared, then turned back to the plates and hummed. "I want to learn how to make pancakes." She said. In the corner of her eyes, she saw Akito looking at her, and silently shook his head fondly.
"Well, aren't we glad that I know how to make it."
Kanade stood in her kitchen, rolling out the dough she'd made, apple fillings beside her. Her phone, running on 30% battery, had been showing her the recipe she had been trying her best to follow. Nothing bad had really happened, except that Kanade had almost forgotten to preheat the oven, but other than that everything went quite smoothly. Perhaps all the cooking lessons she got from Akito were finally paying off.
Kanade hummed, adding the filling when she had finally managed to roll out the dough. Usually, she wouldn't have stood here, in the middle of the kitchen and tried baking. Usually, she would hole herself up in her room, cup noodles on her table, compose songs after songs, focusing on saving as many people as she could. Usually…
Well, usually, she wouldn't stay this long in her kitchen, at all.
She didn't even know why she was doing this. She still thought that she really could have used all the time she spent baking to compose more songs to save Mafuyu. But there's something gnawing in her soul, telling her to do it, and so here she was, putting the carefully-made pie into the oven.
Kanade stood up, arms sore as she humming along with a song she played in the background, picking up her phone and checking the calendar.
It'd be October 26th, tomorrow.
Mochizuki-san would come by for work tomorrow.
Kanade could only hope that she wouldn't mess anything up when she gave the pie to Mochizuki.
"You did amazing at the event."
Akito looked at her from her bed, his homework laid around as he chewed on his pencil, seemingly trying to make sense of whatever was on the paper. "Huh?"
"Someone was live streaming the event, so I watched it for a bit." Kanade explained, her hand did not stop from writing sheets and sheets of music. "I was lucky enough to immediately see your team's part." She stopped for a bit to look at him. "You did amazing."
He stared at her, possibly taken aback from her usual sincerity, and she wondered just how many more times she had to say it for him to start believing in it. But Kanade was a patient person, so if it'd take years she supposed she wouldn't mind.
"...um," Akito finally responded after a long while of silence. "Thanks for that, I guess..? Ugh, just-" he inhaled. "I'm still not as amazing as Toya and the others, but, um…" he cleared his throat. "Well, thanks for saying that."
Kanade smiled. "I'm only telling the truth, Aki."
"Aaannnd that's enough for my emotional quota today."
She laughed, and she could hear Aki laugh along, too. They continue to sit together in silence. The clock had long gotten past 11, and was quite near to 12 now, but Akito still stayed, and Kanade let him. She had something important for him, anyways.
The clock ticked. She and Akito chatted a bit, about the event that Mochizuki's band performed the other day, about More More Jump's new songs (it had been mostly Akito who was talking about them), and about the small snippets of shows Kanade saw from the internet that apparently were from a group called WonderlandxShowtime (Akito had groaned loudly upon hearing the group's name for some reason). The clock ticked again, as she and Akito decided to listen to some random playlist they found online. It ticked again, when Kanade tried and failed to help Akito with his math homework. It had been a bit embarrassing, but it was math, so Akito didn't bother to tease her about it.
The clock hit 12. Kanade, who had already moved to working on her bed next to Akito, turned to him and said. "Happy birthday, Aki."
He smiled, and it looked so, so genuine that Kanade almost forgot something important.
"Wait here," she instructed, then left the room, leaving her years-long friend confused. But then she came back, a stack of fluffy pancakes on hand, and Akito could only gaped at it, surprised and looking so happy that it was worth all the attempts she made to make the pancakes as perfect as possible.
"You didn't have to do that," Akito said quietly, as he took the plate from her and observed the stack of pancakes. Kanade felt oddly nervous.
"I wanted to, though." She replied. "It's my birthday gift for you."
Akito remained silent as he took a fork and sliced down a piece of pancakes. Kanade watched with bated breath as he put it into his mouth and started chewing.
Akito hummed in delight. "It's good."
It might as well be the best compliment Kanade ever got.
Kanade found herself in the kitchen, with Mafuyu in tow, sitting at her table with a towel around her neck, wearing some clothes that Kanade found in her closet, and looking as bright and happy as the weather outside, which was to say not at all.
Kanade…wasn't sure of what to say. She's glad that she managed to find Mafuyu, yes, but at the same time Kanade couldn't help but worry for the girl, especially when this time it seems that things hadn't gone stellar. Mafuyu still sat at the table and stared at some place that seemed so far, far away, her hand clutching the sleeves of Kanade's shirt, and…and she looked so lost. So lonely. So cold.
Before she could think this through, Kanade's legs had led her to the switch, turning the lights on, and slightly threw Mafuyu off a bit as the dark-haired girl jolted a bit and looked at the light confusedly. A small, tiny part of her thought that she looked unbearably adorable, but then Kanade immediately stomped it down and walked to the counter, looking for something to cook. Mafuyu…probably hadn't eaten, had she? That wouldn't do. Kanade would never let herself leave a dear friend of hers with an empty stomach.
She could feel Mafuyu's eyes following her movements in slight curiosity as Kanade heated up some leftover soup she and Aki made yesterday for dinner. That's good. That's better than Mafuyu spiraling down into the abyss that was her mind.
It wasn't until fifteen minutes later that Kanade returned to the table, two bowls of warm soup in hands and put one down in front of Mafuyu. Mafuyu looked down at it, then looked back up at Kanade, who decided to sit in front of her.
"Ah…I was thinking that perhaps you haven't eaten dinner yet," Kanade began to explain, despite there being no question asked. "And I still have some soup that me and Aki- me and a friend made yesterday, so…"
Mafuyu stared at her for a bit more. Kanade tried her best not to fidget, then Mafuyu finally turned her eyes back to the soup and finally started picking up the spoon. Kanade internally sighed, and started eating too.
There was once when Kanade always felt cold, in her own home. There was once when Kanade didn't even step into her kitchen, hunching at her desk, curtains closed, lights off, and working her life away, buried all the warm memories down, locked them into a box and never touched it again. And then Akito came, then Mochizuki, and then Niigo, and slowly, Kanade saw her home starting to light up, saw herself starting to leave her room more, and everytime she tried to cook, or ate with someone she cared and loved, she felt warmth settled in her chest, comfortable and happy.
She looked at Mafuyu, whose face seemed to have relaxed a bit, and silently hoped she'd feel the same warmth too.
After all, everything would be okay.