Chapter Text
My Dearest Joon,
I know that the address line surprised you. I do not call you 'Joon' in front of others or for that matter in my letters to you. That makes me think of the immense number of letters you have written to me before the fated December day when I came to where I am right now.
You know that I am slow at replying back. I am lazy and moreover, I cannot find words to match your beautiful verses. You are so talented Joon!
I would rather walk up to you and say something nonsensical or hilarious and make the entire gang go tumbling on the floor and while they are distracted trying to find their sanity back, I would just look at you and every time you would know what I wanted to say.
I am a bit surprised that I am able to write all of this to you now.
Now, that it has been a long time since I am away from you.
Well, it seems a long time to me, although I am busy, and the hours fly by, and the seasons change.
But what made me write to you today was this feeling, that we are drifting apart.
Maybe I am being ridiculous.
But I woke up this morning after a disturbed sleep.
I dreamt that we were standing on different shores of a turbulent stream. I remember that there was a bridge which we would often cross over to meet. But I couldn't find the bridge. You were not looking at me. You seemed so lost in thoughts, watching the sun set in the horizon. I kept calling your name, but you couldn't hear me. Maybe the sound of the rushing water was too deafening. At last you looked but you couldn't see me. You walked away so dejected. It broke my heart.
I wanted to call you this morning. But You know how life brings you work when you least expect it. And I got busy.
So, here I am, at the end of the day, watching the sunset illuminate the evening sky, writing to you.
I do not know if I will send this letter to you. Maybe it would be another of that pile of papers in the wastebin.
Because I would feel stupid that a dream would make me feel this way and I wouldn't want to bother you.
I know you are busy. We interact with the gang on our group chat. But you seem so distracted most of the time.
What bothers you?
Are you worried about our future? Our, our team's future? Not 'Our', 'Us'. I don't have such great expectations form life. You know that.
I know how you want to keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up.
I miss the times when you would walk up to me to talk about stuff that kept bugging you.
At first, I used to think you were overthinking, but then slowly I realized that this crown that you wear is such an immense responsibility that anyone was bound to be crushed under its weight.
But you wear it with pride and dignity and so much care.
But I am a simple person and a pretty selfish one too.
I want to have you all for myself sometimes. Especially now that I am here, alone and wondering if you miss me more. More than you would miss anyone else in this lifetime.
Because Joon, I miss you.
Yours
forever
Jin.