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Language:
English
Series:
Part 2 of Life Touched By God
Stats:
Published:
2023-08-02
Completed:
2025-11-24
Words:
869
Chapters:
5/5
Comments:
6
Kudos:
23
Bookmarks:
2
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267

Christian Poems I Wrote

Summary:

Poems I wrote to confront and process my thoughts, my actions, and to learn and grow in faith. I have no doubt these will do the same for you. Feel free to comment your thoughts or prayer requests. I will do my best to pray for you.

Chapter 1: Forgiving Myself

Summary:

Primarily based on Romans 5:8 and 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I am a sinner, yet God loves me.

He gave his life on that cursed tree

So that I may be free.

If I am, why does sin still shackle me?

 

For the Lord has said

"No temptation has seized you

except what is common to man."

I feel a strong sense of déjà vu.

I've fallen to where I began.

 

The sting of sin still fresh,

I turn to God again and pray

For strength against sins of the flesh.

But I fear that soon I will wander astray.

 

I want so fiercely to be right.

Yet I sin, try desperately I might.

Time and time again, I find myself here,

Knelt before him, sins laid clear.

 

Often, I think myself irredeemable.

Given my history, it's only reasonable.

If I keep sinning, will I keep being forgiven?

Do I even deserve the mercy I'm given?

 

 

Sometimes I feel I have to earn that grace,

That while I sin, I cannot show him my face.

But scripture reveals that was never the case.

For God died for us all, a sinful race.

 

For the Scripture has said

"While we were still sinners,

Christ died for us."

How foolish I was, almost making the devil a winner.

Every past sin festers within like foul pus.

 

I would feel so much guilt that I would doubt his grace.

I was the judge, jury, and executioner of my own sins.

By my own merits, I could never justify God's embrace.

And I wanted to give up my faith, and give in.

 

While I was a sinner, Christ died for me.

Why would I judge myself when he has paid the fee?

Do I know if I deserve love and forgiveness more than him?

He is willing to guide me forever, full of forgiveness, to the brim.

 

I will not give in, for this temptation is common.

But when I do, it's okay to feel like a strawman.

But I will forgive myself and move on, following his path.

For he has forgiven me, and with arms open, absent of wrath.

Notes:

One of the sins I struggle with the most is lust, and it's something I am working on rectifying. I know that Jesus died for my sins, but if I keep sinning, I feel that I am not upholding my end of the covenant he and I have made with each other.

Being a Christian means knowing what is a sin, and knowing that sin is wrong. It is the wisdom granted to us by the Holy Spirit. It also means often falling into it and coming out the other end feeling convicted, another blessing of the Holy Spirit. However, the devil has a way with turning that conviction into self-hatred and anger.

I often feel angry that I failed. If you know me, you know that I struggle with anger. Anger is often unproductive, and in my case, it led to wanting to renounce my faith, and just live as I please, despite knowing that it's wrong, because I was so tired of being angry and judgemental.

But, I am a stubborn piece of shit also. I will never renounce my faith. I will never let go of God, but at the same time, I cannot live full of anger at myself. I saw a post on Instagram that said something along the lines of "You need to forgive yourself, because God already forgave you. Otherwise, you're telling God that you know better." I took it as God talking to me. He often has ways of communicating with me that are beyond my understanding, and it never involves being a booming voice in my head. I see it more as little nudges here or there. Some people call it luck, but I call it providence.

Being angry at failure is overrated. I've learned this lesson in other parts of my life. Failure does not define me, but how I recover from it does. Will I wallow in it until I sink, or will I crawl out, battered and dirty, but willing to do it a thousand times over until I win?

We may be tempted, but God always provides a way out, whether it's before, or after. When we accept Christ Jesus as our lord and savior, we are afforded God's grace. Not just even when we sin, but especially when we sin. We need it the most right after fucking up. God is always faithful, always loving, and always forgiving. We need only come before him, confessing our mistakes instead of hiding them away, and working with him to make sure it doesn't happen again.