Chapter Text
Thomas is walking around the center of his living room, occasionally looking at the laptop opened on the couch. He hums to himself quietly. The room is emptier than usual, as none of it has started yet. No sides, no conflicts. All that had to be done was to start the episode. It is noticeably different than usual, but he was working with it. He looks at the camera with an animated expression, giving the idea that he is putting on an emotion for his words.
“Remember to consider all the differences that come with changing mediums.” He pauses to gesture towards the lack of visual and audio elements around him. “There might be more spirits and ghosts being channeled!”
An instrumental song begins to play showing clips of all of Thomas’s sides as well as introductions to the characters of Logan “Logic”, Roman “Creativity”, Patton “Morality”, and Virgil “Anxiety”. There are other sides to Thomas, but to add to the lore of his show you simply just have to remember their names and roles separately from the intro. All the portraits of the main four sides come together to create Thomas, and give the title of the show. So the episode begins, but Thomas is back on the couch attempting to write. The episode hasn’t been finished yet. He sighs, and Roman sighs with him as he raises from his spot next to the TV and lamp. Thomas doesn’t acknowledge this, still typing and erasing whatever it is he’s doing on the laptop.
Roman sighs again, louder. Thomas looks up for a second, unimpressed, before looking back down. Roman huffs and lets out a loud groan for about ten seconds while Virgil, Patton, and Logan rise up. Once he finishes, the other four are staring at him.
He raises his hands. “FINALLY someone’s paying attention to me!”
“I believe four people are paying attention to you,” Logan corrects. “Not just one.”
“Just as I wanted!” Roman agrees easily. He fixes his hair on the way to pose his arms, as is his signature. Virgil rolls his eyes, not sure how to hold himself. Roman drops the pose to address the one full person in the room. “Thomas! It’s episode time, so what’s the hold up? What’s the problem? Us, the building blocks, are trying to build you back into a stack of fun colors!”
“I… what?” Thomas sets down his laptop and maneuvers his way to the middle of the living room. The sides all look at him, as he looks at the camera. He gets eerily close, very slowly before bringing up his hands quickly to say a cheery “What is up everybody?!” Despite very clearly about to continue speaking, Thomas is interrupted almost immediately. “T-”
“What is up?” Patton questions, looking up at the ceiling with a bright smile on his face that Logan immediately finds suspicious. Thomas lowers himself back from the camera to look at Patton. “I don’t see anything other than dust. You should really clean up.”
Logan looks up too, bringing his hand up to hold his chin. “Ignoring any previous puns, you really should. A disorderly environment is not conducive to being productive.”
Despite the lack of one, the camera cuts to each side and a Thomas looking up at the ceiling pensively. Virgil is the first to look away, shaking his head. “Okay, but that’s on topic. We aren’t here to judge Thomas’s cleaning habits… right now… We’re here to talk about some other issue, right Thomas?”
He looks up at Virgil as his name is said, as if broken out of a trance that the ceiling put him in. “Huh? Right.” Thomas looks towards the camera with the charisma of a youtuber (read: no charisma, but he’s a good enough actor it doesn’t matter that much). “Today we’re talking about inspiration! Which reminds me, Roman?”
“Yes?” Roman responds elegantly, holding his sword like a wild horse he tamed with love and determination.
“Do we have any inspiration to work with?”
Roman opens his mouth for a second, before closing it again to think. It’s hard to tell if he’s thinking about inspiration for the episode, or if he’s just thinking about what inspires him in a more general manner. Thomas sighs, as if already expecting it, which makes sense as Roman is just him anyways. Logan observes this and metaphorically steps in, trying to solve the issue as he sees it. “There are many types of inspiration to utilize, Thomas. The two main ones being passive inspiration and active inspiration. Passive inspiration comes from external sources, such as stories, other people, and different types of media. Active inspiration is creating things and learning from those experiences. Perhaps we could try some of these methods for this video?”
No one immediately responds, and Logan looks down awkwardly while pushing up his glasses. They didn’t listen to him ever, why would they start now? Patton looks at Logan.
“Those are good ideas Logan! But I… Don’t think that’s the problem, right Virgil?”
Virgil holds back a hiss as his name was abruptly called, but he nods with a frown. “Yeah, Patton’s right. We have plenty of inspiration, but choosing what to do has been… overwhelming to say the least.”
“Which muse to paint, which being to sculpt…” Roman dramatically (and ironically) muses, fingers holding up his chin to indicate that he is thinking very hard. Logan furrows his eyebrows to deconstruct the sentence in his mind, and it takes him a second to fully understand what is being said.
Thomas looks at Logan with a helpless shrug and a sheepish expression. “I don’t know what to do, Lo.” The words are quiet. Logan’s shoulders drop their professionalism as Logan’s face drops its defensiveness. The mic records a few seconds of dead air before Thomas turns it off, whispering a tiny goodbye to it, as if the audience lived within the camera. “I think we’re going to take a break for a bit guys, I need more time to decide what to do.”
As everyone left, either by walking, disappearing, sinking into mindscapes, Logan stayed standing. Now, he was physically alone. None of this made any sense. Sure, getting overwhelmed by sources of inspiration was part of it. But he knew, somehow, that… that wasn’t the entire problem. There is something more to it. It seems so, simple to everyone else but it didn’t click with Logan. An emotional aspect he couldn’t quite metaphorically grasp. He stands there for quite awhile, not even noticing the change in time until Thomas walks back in with an apple in hand. Logan looks at him, appreciative of the effort towards healthy eating while being a bit critical of the juice now sticking to Thomas’s chin. A feeling that Logan hates despite the logic being there.
“Are you alright, buddy?” Thomas asks him, “You’ve been there for… like six minutes now.”
If Logan was paying more attention to himself, Thomas would be able to know the exact time Logan stood there. He looked back at Thomas. “Why don’t you want to use the inspiration you already have? There’s more to the problem, right?”
He chuckles while Logan stares at him, not understanding. Thomas smiles to himself (himself as in not directed anywhere, not that he’s smiling at Logan) and makes eye contact with Logan for just a brief second from his position on the couch. “You’re skipping all the narrative tension, Logan. But, you’re right, as always. I know what I want to write and create. I just… can’t do it.”
“Why not?” Logan frowns. “Wouldn’t that solve the whole problem we’re having?”
“I could physically and literally write whatever I want right now.” Thomas says as he closes his laptop with a soft thud. Logan’s eyes glance towards it as it makes the sound. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I feel guilty when I write things wrong or take… or take inspiration from bad sources. You said that active inspiration is learning from experiences and actively creating? Well, I feel like I haven’t learned enough to create anything good.”
Haven’t learned enough. While not intended to be a jab (definition: intentionally teasing or mocking someone) Logan feels slightly offended. Like his job is not being as productive as it should be. Thomas clearly doesn’t want to talk anymore about it, and Logan is unsure if he could provide any answers that would be considered satisfactory. Logan sinks down into his ‘room’. A lot of the other sides ran with the name more than Logan ever did. His room is much simpler, showcasing exactly what the rooms are supposed to be. A place as Thomas to subconsciously affect him when not appearing to him to direct him… directly. A few of Logan’s interests had seeped in, but Logan worked to keep that to a minimum in case anyone ever thinks to visit. Not that anyone had done that before.
-
Roman holds up a piece of paper with a simple drawing of himself holding hands with both Janus and Virgil, thinking about it intensely. Could it be possible? Can he be friends with the two of them at the same time? He looks over to a drawing of him in between Virgil and Janus looking angry. Well, presumably. The drawings are all stick figures and the faces are nothing more than emoticons. But, Roman understands them, and that’s what’s important.
He throws the initial drawing dramatically before awkwardly watching it glide to the floor. Well. There are more important things to worry about. Thomas needs a new episode! A throughline to focus on! But Roman stands here, not knowing what to do or what to think about. What is the right thing to think about? And… And what if he doesn’t want to think about it? He sighs and flops on his bed, crinkling the fallen drawing in the process. A true martyr. Roman hums for only his duvet and several assorted pillows to hear. This lasts for a few seconds before he flips over to look at the ceiling while stretching to claim each section of his bed. A poster was half-hazardly taped to it. He stares before getting an idea. A concrete one! Without time to forget, he gets out of the bed and trips over the drawing a second time landing him on the floor.
This hardly bothers him as he summons the laptop just underneath his fingertips and Roman begins to write. He smiles to himself, happy to be useful and happy to create.
-
All of the sides are connected through Thomas. Any time Thomas does anything, they all know about it however independently they can all act. So, while Roman tells no one of his idea and creates it without any outward input: Thomas writing it himself because Roman has the idea makes every other side aware of it. This is sort of just how being a full person works. You can think whatever you want but eventually your whole body will eventually catch up. Thomas writes furiously, jotting down everything Roman is subconsciously telling him, even taking some input Remus who also kind of seems excited (not sexually this time) about actually accomplishing something. The other sides? Well, as with everything Thomas does ever, he is extremely conflicted about it.
Patton is the first to rise up to disagree, a surprise to Virgil who follows soon after.
“What are you up to, our speedy bullet Thomas?” He asks, Thomas flicks up his eyes for a second but attempts to keep writing. Patton tries again, being more direct with his question. “You were having trouble earlier today, now you’re working faster than me running from all my problems!”
“What are you doing, Thomas?” Virgil asks, before looking at Patton with concern. “Wait Patton what did yo-”
“WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THOMAS RIGHT NOW!” Patton interrupts, simultaneously gaining the attention of every other side rising up and appearing as well as Thomas. “So, Thomas, what are we taking inspiration from? What are you doing?”
Thomas makes eye contact with Patton, examining him with suspicion. “I’m… writing the script for our next episode of Sanders Sides? Like everyone, like I, want to?”
“You appear to be insinuating that you disagree with this course of action, Patton.” Logan says as Roman rises up quietly. He looks nervous while Logan just looks critical of Patton’s actions. “It’s the best course of action for us to continue producing the series, correct? What is morally wrong about trying to support ourselves, and let Thomas explore his creativity through writing?”
“I’d like him to explore his creativity a bit more sexually.” Remus adds, suddenly appearing between Virgil and Thomas. Everyone chooses to ignore his tired attempt at seduction, Virgil scoffs and rolls his eyes with disdain.
Thomas sighs and pushes the laptop away from him, the adrenaline rush has officially subsided as his creativity is getting ready to be criticized. Roman holds onto his hash with a tight grip, clearly attempting to hold back any snarky comments or nicknames. Patton looks at Roman with concern, a guilt clearly building in his chest as he was the one causing Roman’s apprehension. But Patton knows that he can’t force himself to change Roman’s feelings, or his own. Thomas looks at his morality with tired eyes. He’s been through enough crises, so how is he a bad person now?
“I don’t think it’s very good to take inspiration from bad sources.” Patton starts, side eyeing Janus who was in the kitchen unseen by everyone else. Any talk of any philosophy and the man was bound to show up. So basically, any time Patton had an opinion on anything, of course. “They could misunderstand things and hurt different types of people. And… this script, Roman.” Roman looks down. “This is based on the work of a bad person.”
Roman opens his mouth for a second and closes it again. Logan observes this and turns to Patton again. “Does that hold an important part of the creation process? If you’re creating a second work or building off your own informed decision making, the original inspiration or inspirations are not necessarily what you are portraying anymore.”
“The artist is dead.” Virgil mutters.
“Well, I believe that the original author is not yet deceased-” Logan corrects while Virgil rolls his eyes while retracting into himself even more.
“No, well yeah she’s not dead but,” Virgil sucks in a breath. “It’s a phrase that’s been around for a bit. That… everyone should determine the value of all works of art outside of the knowledge of who the creator is.” He makes a disgusted face. “I’m, not the one who’s in charge of telling everyone things, this is weird and I hate it. Someone else provide the exposition, I don’t want to keep talking. Please someone start talking.”
“Oh, you’re discussing intentional fallacy!” Logan’s face lights up as he understands the material Virgil was talking about. He’s about to explain what it means when Janus walks next to him with a sly smile. Thomas jumps out of surprise, but does not yelp. Small improvements. Janus and Logan make eye contact for one simple second. “And here’s our own fallacy.” Logan is less than enthusiastic, but does not hiss as Virgil does. “I suppose you want to relay this information?”
“If you’ll acquiesce?”
Logan just nods with a slight frown, moving to the side and presenting his spot to Janus. Roman and Virgil share a similar scowl, held with different emotions. Janus, now in the center of the frame, gives a mischievous smile towards Patton. He is directly combating Patton’s opinion despite the two holding a sort of friendship.
“Intentional Fallacy, a term affiliated with William K. Wimsatt and Monroe Beardsley in their book The Verbal Icon (1946), is all about the inherent problems of defining literary works based on the intent of the author.” Logan nods shortly in understanding. Janus was clearly in his element here. Roman squints his eyes, wondering why exactly deceit was taking his side on this. If Janus agrees with him, is he in the wrong? Patton, however, listens intently because he knows that he has to respond to Janus in some way or another. “In other words, the death of the author is a very important structure of taking inspiration from the content of works because dismissing something because of the source is not the correct approach towards literature.”
“Correct,” Logan agrees, mostly trying to solidify himself in the conversation. “There are many ways people study literature - and by extension, all media - so we should not limit ourselves to solely deciding what to take inspiration from because of their authors.”
“But JK Rowling isn’t dead! Shouldn’t we at least consider the authors?” Patton asks. Everyone looks at him. Roman looks especially hurt. “JK Rowling isn’t dead and… and she’s hurting people. And you can’t just say that taking away the context of the author will fully erase the hurt she’s done, or the problems with Harry Potter. Does ‘death of the author’ matter when… when the author is actively and currently a downright… a downright jerk?”
He wipes angry tears from his eyes with his right hand while holding up his glasses out of the way with the other. With clearer vision, he can see the pained expressions of everyone else. The disappointment. Is he being too harsh again? Patton looks at Janus, expecting to see the same face. The same discontent. But Janus nods at him with an impressed smile. Patton doesn’t know how to decipher it, but nodded back, determined to stand his ground just a bit longer. Thomas rubs his own eyes.
“That argument, Patton, is called ‘authorial intent’. A term widely used to discuss the idea that there is only one correct interpretation of any given work, and that interpretation is the author’s alone. Or, author’s purpose, meaning there can be more than one interpretation but the most prioritized is the original intent. It’s widely criticized for being too strict, especially in poetry and metaphorical works made explicitly to appeal to large audiences.” Patton grimaces. That is not a lot of evidence to back up his point. “However,” Logan continues. “There is clear intent that JK Rowling currently holds using the Harry Potter franchise that we can track and recognize.”
“What does that change about the meaning of a series she already finished?” Janus challenges. “Death of the author doesn’t require the author to die before you can orphan the works from the creators. You can derive your own meaning from any story you want.”
“Oh really, Deceit?” Virgil scoffs. “She’s made a fortune from Harry Potter, do you really think she’ll ever want to stop making more content for it?”
“But we’re making our own separate work!” Roman said. “It isn’t Harry Potter, it doesn’t hold her values, it’s mine and just because I took inspiration from some of the narrative… They won’t be the same! It’s mine, not hers! That isn’t wrong, is it?”
No one immediately responds, aside from Remus who does the classic ‘oooh’. Thomas looks at Roman with the same tired eyes. Patton is holding his hands together on his chest, nervously toying with the sleeve of his cardigan, looking between both of them. Logan is now understanding the intricacies of their current predicament. There isn’t a ‘logical’ answer to this. There’s a moral one. And all of the sides were aware of how difficult it is to find an answer to a moral quandary. Virgil is shaking, out of either typical anxiety or anger. Janus observes them all patiently. While no one says anything the criticism of Roman’s idea is clearly hanging in the air. A heavy wait upon his shoulders. The moment Thomas looks away from him is the moment he sinks down. His eyes are closed. Janus watches this all, trying to find the best solution to the problem, but there isn’t a time to think as Virgil interrupts the silence.
“This is too complicated to be solved in one conversation.” He states, looking at Thomas intently. “You built your entire personality off of the media you consume basically your entire life. Harry Potter, Steven Universe, Avatar the Last Airbender… But if you don’t address the problems with that and the media itself, it will make everything worse.”
Virgil leaves.
“Let it get worse,” Remus chides, directly next to Thomas’s ear. His lips are smacking uncomfortably and Thomas is too aware of how close Remus’s imagery breath is. “Why care? You’re not the one hurting anyone, though you could… BUT IMAGINE THE CHAOS!” Thomas cringes away Remus, moving to push him but not quite touching him. Remus pays no mind to this. “You directly misinterpret someone’s beloved works? You mutilate it like Frankenstein! Stealing limbs and sewing metal springs instead of intestines, and let the blood cover your hands as you-”
“Stay on topic, Remus.” Janus cuts him off. Remus looks at him with a wild grin, taking this as a challenge. Janus moves to correct this. “You want to be listened to and it won’t happen if you resort to your current tactics. Try something new and specific to our conversation.”
“Why are you giving him advice?” Thomas asks, exasperated. He looks at the parts of himself around the room. Sides to create clarity, to help him work through his problems. Yet here he stands, in the middle of the messy living room and an even worse mindscape. He drops his hands limply. “I don’t want to do this but, what other criticisms do you have so I can go back to napping?”
“Oh! I’ve been waiting for this!” Logan excitedly gets out a neat black notebook and opens it. “You have no spacial awareness, you procrastinate the dishes to the point you’ve tried eating soup with a plate, you-”
“About the inspiration problem, please?” Thomas corrects himself. He probably should avoid being too general around Logan next time. Though, realistically, he already knows these are problems he has. Logan poofs the notebook, annoyed. “I want to talk about the problem currently at hand right now.”
Logan shrugs unsympathetically. “This predicament is not in my jurisdiction. Clearly your conflict comes from the fact that you have sourced inspiration from someone quote unquote problematic.” He visualizes the quotation marks by stiffly representing the symbols with his hands. “A moral issue, not a logical one. Your problem is between Patton, Roman, and Janus. Not me.” There was a silent sentence Logan intentionally kept out, and Thomas felt the lack of presence in the air.
The silence is uncomfortable as Patton and Logan sink out. Janus looks at Thomas, studying his expression for a moment longer before leaving as well. He sighs in the empty room. What is he going to do? He needs to do something but… Thomas doesn’t know what he is going to do. Everything seems to constantly be going wrong. He moves to sit on the couch.
“AH SPIDER!”
Thomas jumps back, tripping over the ottoman with a loud yelp. His head hits the ground uncomfortably as he looks up to see Remus grinning wildly, showing teeth that are definitely not human nor attached solidly to his skull. Thomas glares and moves to get up. Remus keeps looking at him, his pupils turning into the spiders that Thomas had been imagining. “I really don’t need this right now, Duke.”
“Isn’t that the best time for me to show up?” Is the response in a recognizable cadence to one specific embodiment of anxiety. Thomas sizes up Remus, who responds by doing the same but much more seductively. Thomas rolls his eyes. “Listen Tommy, with all the turmoil you’re going through, there isn’t much you can do about me. But maybe you could-”
“No thank you, bud.” Thomas cuts him off. The room is devoid of anyone else. “Why haven’t you left like the others yet?”
“I’m the only one without my panties in a twist about this bullshit.” The swear is bleeped even with a black bar suddenly blocking over his mouth to ensure someone couldn’t read his lips. Anything to keep the thin veil of ad revenue. Remus continues with a deeper, more serious voice than Thomas is used to. “If you care about it, your thoughts notice. Your intrusive thoughts notice. So if you DON’T come up with a solution to your little guilt problem, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together.”
He winks but the heavy tension in the air remains. Remus disappears, and now Thomas feels more alone although the amount of people in the room stays exactly the same. He’s exhausted. He wants to write, expand on his ideas. But how do you ensure that you’re creating things the “right” way without indirectly causing harm?