Chapter Text
— 00.20 am — / The grocery store
Tommy was having a nice day, and before going home, he’d decided to do some grocery shopping and restock his fridge. He was in a good mood and he wanted to end the day in a good mood too, but no, he can’t have that, can he?
Some tall person with a yellow sweater and glasses had to bump into him. Yes, Tommy was not the one who bumped into him; he was the one at fault. And whoever says otherwise is lying. It’s slander, and he’s calling it.
“Holy fuck man, watch where you’re going you tall fuck.”
“You literally walked into us. We were just standing here looking at canned stuff. It’s not our fault you can't see”
Looking at the guy, he has curly brunette hair and what looks like fake glasses on him. Like holy shit. The fuck is wrong with you man? Fake glasses? Really? And oh…he seems to be right next to what Tommy would call a tank. A jacked up man with long straight pink hair in a braid, wearing a white button up and some black pants.
Color coding it is then. Pinkie , he’ll call the man and the other one could be the Brownie, with the brunette hair and all.
“And it’s not my fault you don’t know how to shave but you don’t see me commenting on that.”
“I know how to fucking shave! Much better than you’ll ever be able to actually.”
“I mean, if you call that shaving.”
“What-“
Pinkie snorts at this as the Brownie slowly starts to look like he wants to murder Tommy.
“What does that even have to do with anything anyways?!”
“I agree. Why do you gotta be so self-centered? You just bumped into me and now we’re talking about your awful shaving skills. I want a apology.”
“I’m not apologizing. I was not the one that bumped into you nor the person that brought the shaving thing up. I am not self-centered! You don’t even know me!”
Pinke buts in on the conversaton “I know you and I’d say you’re pretty self-centered.”
“Oh fuck off Tech. You’re supposed to be on my side!”
You know what? Tommy has decided that he likes Pinkie. Brownie can go suck Tommy’s balls.
Then right when Brownie opens his mouth to say something else, Tommy hears gunshots.
What the fuck? Did this man just make gunshot sounds out of his mouth? Wait… why is everybody crouching now? Did he miss something? Because as far as Tommy can see there’s just some person wearing a black ski mask shooting at the store’s ceiling and shouting at people to get down and threatening the cashier, demanding that they put some money in a black bag.
Oh, the man seems to be pointing the gun at Tommy now. Why is he doing that?
Looking around now, it seems everyone is down except him. I guess he kinda stands out doesn’t he? Being one of the only three people still standing.
The ski mask guy, him, and the black haired man that just tackled the ski mask guy.
And now he’s the only one standing.
Then as the black haired guy and the ski mask guy continue to brawl, the gun drops to the ground and the ‘hero’ kicks the gun away from them both. Good for him, the dude is saving lives here.
Then something hit’s Tommy’s foot. It’s the gun.
You know what? Tommy’s mood is getting back up again. He just got a free gun! How awesome is that?
So, of course to pick up the gun, Tommy crouches down next to Pinkie and Brownie who seem surprisingly chill with everything that’s happening right now. Good for them too then.
But right as Tommy’s picking up the gun, Brownie stops him. Like what the fuck man? What’s Tommy gonna do? Commit homicide? Well, maybe. But that doesn’t concern this man. Fuck off Brownie, leave Tommy and his plans of homicide alone.
“What do you think you’re doing with that?”
“What do you mean ‘what am I doing with this’. I’m taking it, obviously.. It’s a free gun.”
“No you’re not.”
“What’s it to you man? If you’re worried that I’m gonna go batshit crazy and kill everyone, I won’t do it today, ok? Just calm down. It’s not everyday you get to have a free gun.”
“Look, there’s an active robbery going on, if you’re gonna keep the gun, at least help.”
Ohh, right. That’s what this was. A robbery. But really? A black ski mask in the middle of the summer? Tommy feels sorry for the person that's robbing the place right now.
“Help rob the place? Why the fuck would I do that?”
“No, help stop the goddamn robbery? Why would I ask you to help that random assed ski mask wearer to rob this place?”
“I don’t fucking know. You’re the one that asked me to do it, why the fuck would I know? I’m not even sure you have a functioning brain, I’m not gonna question you. I don’t want to know your thought process.”
“So if I asked you to help that person rob this store, you’d just do it? Without question?”
“If I get to keep the gun afterwards, yeah. So should I?”
“What the fuck? No!”
“Then the fuck do you want me to do you asshat? We have the ability to speak for a reason, maybe use it?”
“You are a rude kid.”
“Not a kid.”
“Just help stop that robber, okay?”
“The black haired dude has it handled by the looks of it. I don’t need to help, he’s got this.”
“You don’t question me when I tell you to commit a crime but you question me when I tell you to save the store and the people in it?”
“I’m not a hero. And like I said, the black haired guy has got this.”
“No he doesn’t.”
And right after Brownie says that, the ski mask person knocks the ‘hero’ out and gets up.
“Oh, yeah. I guess he really doesn’t huh.”
“Yes. So are you gonna-“
“Yes, okay. Holy shit just shut up. I’ll save your goddamn life.”
Tommy snatches the gun out of Brownie’s hands and starts doing his magic. Okay, maybe not his but it still is magic if you ask him.
”I want you to know you’re sick fuck. Telling me to stop a robbery witha gun.”
“Do you even know how to use a gun?”
“No. But I don’t need to.”
“What do you mean you don’t need to? Yes you fucking do. Your aim will suck. You won’t hit whatever you’re aiming at all.”
“I’m not going to be the one aiming.”
“I am not touching that gun again. You don’t even know how to use one and you somehow fucked that gun up.”
“I am not fucking the gun up, It’s magic. I'm doing magic.”
“No you're not. What are you even doing?”
You know what? Tommy won’t even answer. He’s doing his magic here. Okay, not his. Tubbo’s magic. His beloved bestie showed him this badass trick with guns days ago. It’s Tommy’s first time finally trying it out. And if he succeeds, it’s going to look so very badass. Not that he doesn’t look badass, he already does. He’ll just add fuel to his flame.
“Are you going to answer me?”
“Nope. I’m done tho.”
“What did you even do?”
Tommy slides the gun to the foot of the black ski mask person and gets up from his crouching position.
“Magic.”
The person picks the gun up and quickly points it to Tommy. Just the way Tommy wanted.
“GET THE FUCK DOWN RIGHT NOW.”
“Damn, no need to be so aggressive man. Chill out a little.”
“GET DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT.”
“Nah, I was crouching too long I think. I need to stretch my legs. They feel weird.”
“THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING. GET DOWN! I HAVE A GUN AND I’M NOT SCARED TO USE IT!”
“I know. That’s what I’m counting on.”
BANG
Ha! The gun shot backwards.
Tommy watches as the ski mask person falls down backwards and hits the ground pretty hard. And oh damn… that a shit ton of blood. He did not know a person had that much blood in em. Guess this also was educational for him too, huh?
He looks back at the Brownie and the Pinkie that's standing up now. And Brownie is the first to talk.
“What the fuck.”
“I know. It was so badass. I just learned how to do that, like, 2 days ago. First time trying it out and HOLY FUCK MAN IT WORKS?! How fucking cool is that?!”
“So you didn’t even know if it would work or not?! And you still did all that shit? Do you have a death wish or something?”
“Nope. Quite the opposite actually. I like being alive very much.”
Pinkie smirks at him “You do realize you just killed a person, right?”
And really? Those are the first things you say to a person that bumped into- I mean, you bump into? These are one of the first things Tommy has heard come out from that tank’s mouth and Tommy’s pretty sure it’s not normal either but the situation they are in also isn’t that normal either so…
Plus, there’s no need for that dark stuff. That got serious way too quickly. He didn’t even do anything. The ski mask person pulled the trigger on their own. It’s not his fault that they were an idiot.
“Well it was more like a suicide if we’re looking it that way. They’re the one pulled the trigger on themselves after all. And your friend right there implied that I do this too. So it’s kinda their foult aswell.”
Pinkie just snorts at this. “That's not really how that works kid.”
“For your information Pinke, that so is how it works. And I am not a kid.”
Pinkie just raises one of his eyebrows at him. Well, Tommy doesn’t give a single crap about what you think Pinkie so you can fuck off and die.
Actually, Tommy probably should dip before the cops come, shouldn’t he? He’s lucky there aren’t any cameras in this store.
And now thinking about stores, Tommy should probably give Brownie his wallet back.
He had taken it when he bumped into- Tommy means Brownie had bumped into Tommy. He has had a nice day after all and normal people tend to get traumatized by this stuff, even though Tommy’s pretty sure Brownie and Pinkie aren't normal. They weren’t scared or something like that at all but he’ll still give Brownie his wallet back. He’s good like that.
Tommy takes a few steps backwards while opening Brownies wallet and taking out a few bills.
“Well, consider it payment for my awesome services of saving your asses and my water bill. Hope to see you never fuckers.”
He throws the wallet at Brownie and walks out of the store before the police come to question people $400 richer. He really is lucky there aren’t any cameras in the store.
So Tommy goes into the dark alleyway and goes to search for another market open this late. He still needs to buy groceries after all.
~~~~
— 16.35 pm — / Tommy's Apartment
Tommy’s feeling good. He’s sitting on the balcony of his beloved apartment, thinking of his new groceries and his treasured couch while drinking a glass of water. He loves his couch, its softness, its color, its cushion, its style, its comfiness… Tommy loves everything about that couch.
While Tommy was having a peaceful day, sitting on his apartment’s balcony, drinking water, not doing anything at all, the goddamn apartment building had to shake and make him spill all the water on his shirt - wait. The whole apartment building shook?
Really? Fucking really? Now Tommy has a wet shirt and a shaky apartment. Great.
So Tommy goes and puts the glass down on the small table on the balcony, then right as he does that, the whole building shakes, again. Then he hears an explosion sound.
He turns to look back and… Is that fire in his apartment? Wait, no - Is that… IS THAT FIRE ON HIS COUCH?!?! Oh, the tragedy. It hurts, it hurts in more ways than one. That couch was Tommy’s whole life, his dreams, his love, his family. And that stupid, motherfucking hero that’s getting beat up in his apartment set it aflame.
This is Tommy’s villain arc now. He’s a villain. He’s gonna take down the hero organization and dominate the world. This is his turning point; it’s set. No going back now. Whoever that fucking hero that’s getting beaten up in his apartment deserves what he’s getting right now for what he did to his beloved couch. He deserves worse, actually. Fuck that fiery hero.
If he remembers correctly, that fiery hero that’s getting beat up is Hero Flame from the Dream Team, actually. And the one beating him up the way he deserves is… The Blade…?
Great. They just broke the floor and fell another story down. The fuckers set the whole apartment aflame, and is that screaming he’s hearing?
Oh, right. Apartment. There are other people living here who just saw this shit and got their house set on fire. So dramatic, really. One would think almost everything they own is getting destroyed.
And there goes the fire alarm and the water sprinklers. Did people really think they would work? The whole building is aflame. They ain’t doin shit.
Tommy’s on the 5th floor and sadly he can’t go back into his apartment since, you know, the fire inside. He’s kind of stuck in his apartment.
He turns back around, backs up a few steps and then jumps straight ahead and manages to catch the railings of the emergency stairs on the other apartment.
HURRAH! FREEDOM!
And well, Tommy probably should go down but he wants to see what’s going on. There was suddenly a shake and a explosion in the middle of the day and then his whole apartment building was on fire. He’s curious about what's going on, he wants to know and he doesn’t think he will get to see the stuff going on if he does in fact go down. And what’s the harm in watching the show anyway? There is nothing he can do now and he was getting a bit bored after all.
He climbs into the emergency stairs of the other apartment and then goes up the stairs ending up at the 8th floor. The top of the stairs isn’t blocked so he just climbs up.
Once he gets on top of the roof he turns around and… Oh wow. That looks… Fun.
The rest of the Dream Team seems to be here as well, fighting the Syndicate? Was that it? Or was it Synthecat? Ya know, cat. SingTheCat?
The winged villain called Midnight picks Dream up by his color, flys up and crushes them into another building. And there goes that building too.
So that’s probably how Flame and Blade ended up in his apartment huh?
Siren and … what was the name of the third member of the Dream Team again? Every member had a simple and remembreable name but that fucker had to get a unique name, didn’t he? And now Tommy can’t remember it. The hero’s fault, really.
Well, Siren and the third member seem to be fighting on the ground. Siren shouts something and two buildings near Siren go CABOOM. Four apartments down in total now if they count his own apartment as well. This villain group really is destructive, holy fucking hell.
They will probably destroy some more apartments as they fight, won’t they?
And that means he won't get in trouble if he sets a few on fire by himself, right? The media and the heros are going to blame the Singing Cats anyway and he needs to at least take advantage of this situation. His own apartment just burnt down and he lost the best couch ever created. He needs to add a con to this list. He deserves to have a little fun.
It's his time to shine.
He jumps down from the roof to one of the apartment balconies on the 8th floor, which is the top floor of this building it seems, and gets in by breaking the glass on the glass door of the balcony.
He looks around and he’s not surprised that this place seems to be lived in. The front door of the apartment is open. People probably evacuated while he was watching the fight or something.
He goes to the kitchen, searches around a few drawers and finds a lighter.
Oh, wops. Then the curtains are suddenly on fire. Oh and these stoves got left on in the rush of leaving it seems.
He goes to the living room, goes in front of the couch and… ups! Now that is on fire as well. It's only fair that this couch shares the same fate as the best couch ever made. It’s an honor for this couch actually. Sharing the same fate with the best couch ever created.
Tommy walks around the apartment and finds a closet filled to the brim with clothes. They seem quite burnable, nobody would question it if they suddenly caught fire anyways.
The fire seems to be spreading well but Tommy goes down one floor by the stairs in the building and… yup. This door is left open as well.
No harm in making sure everything gets set on fire in this apartment as well. And after that he goes and jumps to another apartment from the balcony of the now aflame 7th floor of the apartment building.
He was right. This is fun.
Now with the new weapon in hand, he’ll call it Lighty, you know, cuz lighter, it's time for round two.
He should time these, shouldn’t he? Maybe he’ll break a world record or something.
He breaks into the apartment. Takes out his phone and starts the timer.
~~~~~~~
— 21.30 — / Outside of the burnt down buildings
He’s sitting near the ambulances and the fire trucks as they try to put the buildings out of fire.
He got 5 buildings. Record time: 2 minutes and 23 seconds. He could've done better but the fight was ending so he had to dip. But still, he had his fun.
He probably should go back to his own apartment now, shouldn’t he? Which was supposed to be right there, but isn’t. Where did his apartment go?
Right. The fight. His beloved couch. The tragedy. This means that he’s homeless now… doesn’t it?
He lets out a chuckle. Back on the streets he guesses.
And now he probably needs to get a job as well too. Making enough money to get an apartment by himself illegally might draw some attention to himself after all.
He takes his phone and starts to search. Would you look at that? SBI Glass Inc. is hiring, looking for a new assistant.
He’s gonna need a lot of fake documents. He hopes Tubbo isn’t busy tonight. He’s staying over.
~~~~~~
— 2.30 am — / Tubbo’s Apartment
“YOU ARE NOT STAYING OVER TOMMY”
“ MY APARTMENT GOT BURNT DOWN! I'M LITERALLY HOMELESS RIGHT NOW! COME ON! YOU’VE GOT TO HELP ME OUT TUBS”
“You can go ahead and stay in a homeless shelter or something.”
“ I’ll owe you one. You’ve got to help me out.”
“You owe me a lot.”
“Come on Tubbo! Please”
“Last time I helped you out you stabbed me in the crus (lower leg) with a screwdriver.”
“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I already told you I was sorry and paid for the hospital stuff! Come on!”
“ My leg still hurts.”
“It's not my fault your regeneration is weak.”
“That happened 2 weeks ago Tommy. You stabbed me 2 weeks ago. I still have the bandages.”
“L”
“ Please get the fuck out of my house.”
“Look, Tubbo, my dear friend whom I love, you’ve got to let me stay, please don't make me sleep on the dirty concrete outside of your apartment.”
Tubbo sighs “Okay. Fucking fine. You can take the couch.”
“LETS FUCKING GO! TUBBO, MY MAN, YOU ARE THE FUCKING BEST! DID YOU KNOW THAT! HOLY FUCK YES!”
“Please don't shout.”
“ Alright well… Tubbo, my dear friend, are you busy tonight?”
“Yes. Yes I am.”
“With what?”
“Sleep, Tommy. Im going to fucking sleep.”
“Well, you see, that's not as important as my need for fake documents.”
“No. Fuck you. Can’t we do that in the morning?”
“Nope.”
“Why do you even need fake documents now? What are you gonna do? Steal from the Las Nevadas casino again by cheating in gambling? Trick the bank into thinking you’re a millionaire?”
“Nope. I'm going to get a job. The interview for Sbi Glass Inc is tomorrow.”
“ HOLY FUCK TOMMY GET UP WE’VE GOT A SHIT LOT TO DO”
“So we're doing it? You're gonna get me the documents?”
“ Yes I fucking am. Do you know how long I've waited for this? For you to finally get a normal job?”
“ I wanna be an experienced fish owner! Add it in my resume!”
“Tommy. Kindly, shut the fuck up right now.”
“Yup.”
~~~~~~~
— 13.30 pm — / SBI Glass Inc. Waiting room
Looking around the place there are a lot of people here. Almost everyone is wearing some sort of suit or a classy business dress. Almost everyone.
Sadly, oh so very sadly the jacket of his suit somehow… magically got set on fire so now he’s just wearing a white button up and suit pants. With sneakers. Red, shiny sneakers.
Looking around again, that looks like the wrong choice of shoes.
“Thomas Innit, please come in.”
Looks like it is his turn.
Here goes nothing.