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It was a sunny day. Akutagawa pushes the glass door to the small teahouse, the bell chiming as he walks to the counter. The teahouse is owned by his senior, highly respected by him and he wants to show his support by the continued patronage. At first, he doubted his senior decision to open a teahouse after a few years of studying environmental architecture.
But it was 4 years ago and the man, Dazai, proved he is more than capable to do what he wanted with his life. He also did a great job designing his cafe, looking lively as he boldly played with colors, creating the teahouse warm and cozy feeling.
"Welcome to Petite Teahouse! Good morning, what would you like to order?" the guy behind the counter beamed his brightest smile at Akutagawa.
He nodded curtly at the guy's greeting, after all, he is not a man for many pleasantries. "One jasmine tea please, make it hot."
That guy seems like a new worker as he had never encountered him before. He had silver hair, unevenly cutted bangs with black streaks blended in the longer side. His name tag says 'Atsushi' with a white tiger sticker on it. Atsushi is roughly his height, and from the face, he is most likely close to his age. His apron is neatly tied behind his body, though he had his collars slightly crooked.
But what planted Akutagawa's attention on this guy was his eyes, a breathtaking combination of violet and gold, gleaming under the lights. He can't take his eyes away from those mesmerizing eyes as Atsushi punches the key in the register. Simply magnificent.
"Alright, the total is three hundred yen. Your order will be ready shortly." the guy, Atsushi said, breaking Akutagawa from whatever trance he is in. He took out the exact amount, silently handing them to Atsushi.
After taking the receipt, he goes to his usual spot, a bar table by the window farther back and takes out his laptop to continue working on commission. Akutagawa is doing some freelance work as he finishes his degree. The teahouse atmosphere is serene, save for the occasional bustling at lunch hour, where he should finish working by then.
He barely started with his work when Atsushi brought him his tea. Akutagawa thanked him without looking away from his laptop. But when Atsushi didn't walk away from his side, Akutagawa shot him a questioning look.
"You should face me when you are thanking me, you know, because I would love to see your handsome face again." Atsushi said to him, smiling, and left Akutagawa dumbfounded.
'Did he… Did Atsushi just flirt with him???'
Akutagawa didn't think of himself as attractive. He didn't take himself as a hideous person either. But he rarely got himself flirted with, and a guy at that. He rarely shows emotion aside from his resting face, which consists of scowling and frowning. Although he's not rude, he thinks that social interaction is tiring.
Disregarding the whole flirting thing, he took a sip of his tea when he noticed a small paper on the table with numbers scribbled on it. And oh boy, what did he get himself into now?
It was his third visit with Atsushi manning the counter, and by far, Atsushi has non-stop flirting with Akutagawa at every chance he gets. And every time, he ignored Atsushi as he deemed the barista was just 'messing' with him.
And this is the first time he actually talks with Atsushi. The weretiger, Akutagawa absentmindedly calls him that because of his bold way of flirting with him and his silver hair streaked with black strands, took a seat beside him and has been babbling about his works to Akutagawa for a whole fifteen minutes.
"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Akutagawa grumbles, his commission laid untouched as he can't focus.
"Oh wow, so you can speak aside from ordering your tea?" the weretiger, no Atsushi asked, snickering. Eyes sparkling as if he just found a sacred information.
"I do not remember introducing myself as a mute." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, shifting his attention back to his laptop.
"Well, you never really talk to me before, and since you are not, why don't you talk more, your voice is so nice I would like to hear it for the rest of my life." Atsushi smiled coyly at him. His lips curl at the end, eyes twinkling with mischief.
"Whatever. Why do you keep talking to me anyway?"
"Well since you haven't texted me anything, I thought I would just talk to you. And I'm actually on my break so it wouldn't be a waste to spend my time with a hot guy! And look at the time, I have to go back to work, enjoy your tea, dear customer and good luck with your work!"
With that, Atsushi winks playfully at Akutagawa, and leaves the annoyed man back to his business, and a new number in his contact list.
(They exchange texts with each other after that, Atsushi spamming greetings, and sharing memes from the Internet, while Akutagawa replying short 'Thank you, you too.' to the greetings while leaving all the memes on read.)
Akutagawa put his book and reading glasses on the bedside table. He was prepared to sleep when his mind relentlessly came back to Atsushi, and his antics for the day. Today was his seventh visit with Atsushi on the shift.
"... And my cat, God she's just so cute when she's pawing at my arm last night you know? And when I said to her, 'No Byakko you already have your treat for today, I need to watch what you are eating or else the vet would scold me for letting an obese cat like you gain more weight you know?' And she had the nerves to turn away from me?! How ungrateful that little menace is. Oh wait, let me show you her pictures!"
There, it is barely 15 minutes and Akutagawa already knows half of Atsushi's life story.
Since he makes himself comfortable on the seat beside Akutagawa, Atsushi has been talking about his life, insisting that 'If I don't know any more than your name, then you have to know at least half of my life story, save the time when we are in a relationship.' Ending his speech with a wink.
Atsushi already knows his name when they exchange info on Line, but Akutagawa refuses to give any more than that. Saying that it's his privacy, of course, he braced himself, ready to listen to whatever the guy was talking about, as long as the attention was taken away from him. And Atsushi is respectful enough to not push on Akutagawa's boundary.
By now, Akutagawa knows Atsushi and his younger sister, Kyouka were adopted by their dad ten years ago. His adoptive dad, Oda, opened a family diner down the street, and he said his dad specialized in making curry. He did not work with his dad because of his interest in coffee making. Of course his 'No. #1 Dad' would support him wholly, referring Atsushi to his friend who is the owner of the teahouse. Though it's the closest thing he could get to coffee, or a cafe, Dazai did appreciate his interest and added coffee into the menu.
"You should come to our family diner. My dad makes the best curry in the world, once you get a taste, 'm sure you will come back for more. Bonus if you come on the weekend, a handsome server is ready to serve you." Atsushi said with a smile, the warmest he ever gave, that in Akutagawa's opinion, even the sunset breeze would be cold in comparison. The younger’s eyes shifted to the scenery upon them, a small garden outside, but his gaze held so much more than that, tender as if it was his family standing in front of him.
Akutagawa listened intently at Atsushi, he didn't know why the weretiger, simply a stranger, a worker and a customer, may be friends but not more than that, willing to tell him about his personal life, yet he knows that every word Atsushi spoke bears the truth in it.
Let's just say Akutagawa sleeps with a certain weretiger and his genuine smile in his mind that night.
The sky started pouring down shortly after Akutagawa set his foot into the teahouse. He mellowed out his breathing after the little run to save himself from the sudden downpour. The weathercast didn't report that it would be raining in the afternoon today.
After catching his breath, Akutagawa trudged toward the counter and ordered his usual. He noticed Atsushi isn't his usual self as his heterochromia eyes lack the light in it. His smile looked tired, nothing like the habitual stretch and shining teeth accompanying it.
Akutagawa didn't make a comment on it. He didn't know what was bothering the weretiger. Though, he makes his way to the bar table by the window, resuming his work. The teahouse is partially empty today, safe for the occasional bustling on the counter, the air was still, quiet even.
That's it, until a loud crash was heard behind Akutagawa. He turned his back to the source, which identify as Atsushi, his ass planted on the ground, with a shattered teacup, spilled drink tainting the sleek shined floor. Akutagawa abandoned his seat and approached Atsushi.
As Atsushi reached for the porcelain pieces, his hand was hurriedly stopped by Akutagawa. "Don't pick up the broken pieces with your bare hand, what if you get hurt?" His voice was loud with concern, inspecting Atsushi's hand for any cuts.
"I'm sorry I… I wasn't thinking." Atsushi replied, with a clear dejection in his voice.
Akutagawa pulled him back on his feet, dragged him to the counter and told Dazai what had happened. Dazai immediately told Atsushi and Jun'ichirou, the other part timer to clean the mess, while Akutagawa waited by his seat. Atsushi’s eyes remained unfocus the entire time.
After the floor was clear with a wet floor sign on it, Atsushi walked toward Akutagawa with a new teacup in hand. His hand slightly trembled when he put the tea down. Muttering 'Sorry for the inconvenience and enjoy your tea.' under his breath.
Akutagawa snatched his hand just before Atsushi could go, "Sit." He guided Atsushi to the seat, "I know Dazai-san told you to take a break now, he wouldn't let you work when you are like this."
Atsushi followed him, taking a seat on the stool, his eyes crystalled with tears, a second before it spilled.
"I'm scared and tired." Atsushi starts, voice small and quavering.
"I know, I can see it."
Akutagawa replied and pulled Atsushi into him. He lets Atsushi fall into his embrace. Hands grabbing the front of his shirt as he cries, wetting it with heavy tears and quiet sobs. Akutagawa wraps his arms around Atsushi, rubbing circles on his back while murmuring soft reassurance into the space.
"It's okay, you're going to be alright. I'm here, Nakajima."
And he waits. Alternating between rubbing Atsushi's back and patting it, until the sobbing dies out. Slowly, Atsushi pulled away from him. His face flushed red, eyes puffed and nose scrunched, red blotches forming under the scattered freckles. Atsushi took the handkerchief Akutagawa offered and wiped away the remnants of tears and snots.
"Thank you." Atsushi sighs after his breath labored. He can feel his lungs expanding and constricting to its normal pace again. "Oh shit, your shirt. Fuck, Akutagawa I'm sorry–"
"It's fine, Nakajima." Better stop him before having another breakdown that got triggered by his turtleneck, Akutagawa thought, "It's fine, it can be washed. Now do you want to talk about it? And if you said you are fine, no you aren't. I can see it. I'm here Nakajima, if you want someone to talk to, I'm more than willing to listen."
He looks at him, eyes showing that he cares, and his hand slowly stretches out to interlace their fingers together.
Atsushi looked at their joined hands, breath stuttering before he speak "I had a nightmare last night. No, saying it's a nightmare, maybe sugarcoating the truth, what I dreamt of is more like memories of me at the… at my old orphanage. And it's not a good memory either, that place is awful, hellish even. I'm glad Oda-san took me and Kyouka with him.
"But I'm scared, what if I failed to be useful to him, to show him my worth? What if all the things that the orphanage director said about me are true?" His shoulder twitched, shaking with anxiety, "What if I'm truly useless, a good for nothing, and better off dead? Maybe I should have die in a ditch somewhere before he could adopt me." His sunset eyes closed shut as tears streamed down his cheeks. Hands lifted up to wipe away the stubborn tears.
"Nakajima, look at me, no one in this world deserves to be told like that. And whoever that orphanage director is, he is entirely wrong. You are not useless, Nakajima. You are here working on your dream. Oda-san and Kyouka love you as they have been beside you for ten years. You are worth everything nice in this world as the world owes someone as nice as you good things and good things only." Akutagawa said, tightening his hold on Atsushi's hand.
Akutagawa isn't good with feelings. He himself failed to identify what emotions surging through him sometimes and often shut them down. But right now, with Atsushi in front of him, looking so fragile as if a mere touch would leave him cracked and shattered into million pieces, stirred something inside him. Something akin to hatred, brutality and bloodlust. But more than that, he feels the need to protect, care and love.
He wondered how someone as sweet as Atsushi had such a wretched childhood. Someone as sweet as him deserved to grow up in a safe and loving family. Akutagawa is grateful to Oda for taking Atsushi in, and Kyouka for being with him since the orphanage. If he could go back in time, Akutagawa would kill the orphanage director before that bastard could say anything to Atsushi.
They stayed in the teahouse until the rain stopped. The shop just in time for closing, spare them both from the rain. Atsushi thanked Dazai for giving him time, Jun'ichirou for working his shift, and Akutagawa for comforting him. A weak and fragile smile on his face ends Akutagawa's twelfth visit to the teashop after Atsushi’s existence in his life.
Three days passed after Atsushi breakdown. Akutagawa pushed the glass door. Eyes immediately searching for the silver haired guy. Disappointment quickly wiped away from his face when Atsushi was nowhere in sight. Sighing, Akutagawa made his way to the counter and ordered his usual to Jun'ichirou.
He then goes to his seat, this time with no laptop, but he brought his sketchbook with him. He solely came to check on Atsushi, and to take a look at that beautiful smile blooming on his face again.
"Here's your tea." A more than familiar voice breaking his solitude.
Akutagawa whipped his head quickly at the voice, "I thought you took a break today, didn't see you at the register." He said, whispering thanks before he took a sip of his tea.
"I was at the back earlier, helping Dazai-san. Though can you wait for me until my break, can't caught slacking right now and we're really short on hands. Sorry." Atsushi smiled sheepishly at him.
"Sure, don't worry about it."
With that Atsushi leaves the table. Akutagawa takes turns between sipping his tea and sketching the scenery outside. He merely paid no mind to the extra lively atmosphere going around in the small teahouse.
Minutes turn to hours, Akutagawa patiently waits for Atsushi until the crowd dies down. Atsushi didn't have time to take the break when he was supposed to, stealing quick apologies with a small smile and handing him fig tarts before tending other customers. Dazai and Tanizaki, too, can't seem to get a hold on the large number of customers today. Even Chuuya, the patissier came to help from time to time, though Dazai pestered him, earning smacks from the redhead.
After what seemed like hours and the crowd finally went down, landscape sketches turned to people and lots and lots of drained cups from different perspectives, Atsushi flopped to the seat beside Akutagawa, practically worn out. "Sorry you have to wait for so long. We didn't think it would be jam packed today. Maybe because there's an event somewhere nearby."
"Figured. Don't worry about it, I got to practice while waiting for you." Akutagawa flipped his sketchbook and turned it to Atsushi. "There, it's good for my practice anyway, been rusty since I started working on my commision." he added.
Atsushi runs his fingers on top of it carefully, afraid it would smear the line with additional forces. His eyes lit up as he took in the drawing. Amusement clearly written on his face while praising Akutagawa for the beautiful artworks.
Akutagawa studied the barista's face, remembering every crevice and contour. As if he could paint the alluring, beautiful feature from his memory. Still his eyes gaze firmly at the younger face. As if he would forget what sort of warmth the sunset eyes hold, and what kind of smile that lips could express without the need to say anything. He was afraid it would all go away before he could grasp them. Atsushi is like a drawing worth to be displayed at the Louvre, and Akutagawa is nothing but one who would appreciate it with his life.
“You could take my picture, you know. It would last longer than whatever you think you are doing.” Atsushi breaks his musing without looking up from the sketchbook. Voice laced with playfulness, a small smirk taunting his face.
Akutagawa scoffed, “Yeah, and waste my phone’s memory.” He turned his attention towards the garden backyard, the evening light filtered the trees giving a nice color to the leaves.
‘I would rather paint you and your smile hundreds and thousands of times than to photograph them. No cameras in this world are deemed appropriate to capture your beauty.’ Those words were left unsaid.
“Whatever you are saying, Akutagawa-kun.”
The sketchbook returned to its owner. Akutagawa put it away with his sketching gears into the bag. It relieves him that Atsushi is back to his typical cheerfulness. He took a last bite of his fig tart. Atsushi sits still on the bench, looking past him as he finishes up his business. He knows there’s something going on inside Atsushi, whether it's reluctance or uncertainty. “Your thoughts are so loud, I can practically hear it. If you want to say anything to me, please do so before I take my leave.”
“Ah sorry, I just… I want to thank you for that time. I know you came here to check on me. Thank you, Akutagawa.” Atsushi looks at him, a grateful smile plastered on his face. So enormous and sweet it makes Akutagawa see the resemblances of his heart on the smile. But a smile makes Akutagawa ache for more.
“It’s fine.”
‘I’ll gladly do it any other time’
He left the teahouse with a sunset light, ‘too familiar’, violet-gold and white smeared sky accompanying him.
‘hey akutagawa, do you want to come to my dad’s diner this weekend? my treat.’
It was what the message said. Akutagawa did agree to the invitation, he knows that Atsushi felt indebted from that time, although he had reassured Atsushi many times that he didn’t mind.
Here he is, standing in front of their family's diner. Akutagawa wanted to take Gin with him, he isn’t really comfortable eating in a new place by himself. But she insisted that he come alone because Atsushi invited him personally.
He takes steps into the diner, opening the sliding door slowly. A teenage girl no older than 18 welcomes him by the door. ‘This must be Kyouka’. She then assisted Akutagawa to his seat. The diner is so crowded tonight that it is the weekend. He can see the liveliness of family and friends chatting their way while eating their food. He can hear the bustling and shouting in the kitchen all the way to the counter.
The crew is moving fast and precisely, delivering orders to the customer. Then he saw Atsushi stride towards him with notes and a menu in his hand. His getup is different, wearing white shirt, apron nicely tied around his hip accentuating the slim waist, with black pants. He’s also wearing a head cover, partially hiding the silver hair underneath. His smile remained the same, and could be seen miles away.
“Hi handsome, Nakajima Atsushi here to serve you.” Atsushi wink, then handed the menu to Akutagawa.
He skimmed over the menu briefly, and looked up to Atsushi “I’ll take whatever you recommend. As for drinks, please get me a ginger ale. Thank you.” he handed the menu back to Atsushi.
“Alright, one Atsushi’s special curry and one ginger ale. That's all?”
“Yes.” Akutagawa confirmed.
“Okay, please wait a moment, your order will be served later. Don’t miss me too much!” Atsushi leaves, practically skipping to the kitchen.
A bit later, Atsushi brought over his food. He also brought himself to sit in front of Akutagawa. Smiling happily at him, he said. “Here is my special curry, pork cutlet curry over rice. Well not mine because my dad’s the one who cooked it. It’s simple but special nonetheless ‘cause I feel the warmth whenever my dad cooks it for us.” Atsushi explained, “In fact, that’s the first thing he cooked after getting me and Kyouka out from that damned orphanage.”
“Try it!”
Akutagawa scooped up some rice with curry and the pork cutlet. The smell of spices wafted to his smell sense, making the presence of genuine ingredients known. The taste of spices, some sweetness and juiciness from the pork erupted in his mouth, the sentiment akin to warmth filling his senses. He chewed them completely, nodding at the overall flavor. “It’s good, Nakajima.” His eyes met with Atsushi who smiled warmly at him.
“Right, I told you so.” Atsushi says, one hand tucked under his chin supporting it, while his legs dangling happily under the table, sometimes kicking Akutagawa’s playfully in the process.
Akutagawa continues eating his food while Atsushi recounts his day to him and distracting Kyouka from her job whenever she passes by. Atsushi was delighted the entire time, chatting happily while Akutagawa hummed in acknowledgement. They parted ways after Atsushi thanked him for coming, and he thanked Atsushi for the meal. He left the diner feeling contented, with a small smile on his face.
Akutagawa opens the sliding door to the dimly lit diner. His eyes scanned through the room for a certain ‘weretiger’ as he would like to call. And Atsushi was busy helping at the counter of his dad's family restaurant. He wouldn’t dare to interrupt the guy’s work so he simply got into a private booth at the end of the restaurant and took a seat there. The diner was full of people as it was the weekend.
Kyouka took his order, seemingly surprised by his visit. She wants to tell Atsushi about him but he told her he wanted to surprise Atsushi too. Kyouka nodded at his request, but he knew Kyouka would tell Atsushi anyway.
And true to his prediction, as soon as Kyouka goes to the counter to hand in the orders, she whispers something to Atsushi, most likely about him being here. After that Atsushi quickly snapped his head towards Akutagawa’s direction.
In the midst of the crowd,violet-gold meets with gray, in the sea full of people , all sorts of sparks explode between them, emotions of happiness and joy traveling through the air.
Atsushi beamed his smile— the brightest smile, one of which Akutagawa loves the most, at him. A soft smile slowly makes its way to his face, returning them to Atsushi. Atsushi quickly abandoning his post and shouted ‘Sorry my boyfriend is here!’, running through the bustling of the restaurant into Akutagawa’s arms. Eyes never breaking in contact.
“Ryuu!” Atsushi dives into his embrace, “You said you will come home tomorrow.”
Akutagawa envelops him, feeling right at the place where he should be, home. “Can’t have you waiting for me any longer.”
They slowly moved to the seats, breaking the hugs but their hands remained intact, as if they were made a pair. “I finished my work early, so I could see your smile again sooner, Jinko.”
“I told you not to call me that! It has been 7 years since we met and 3 years since we dated,” Atsushi scoffed, “Please out of all the cutesy pet names why would you call me that?” he jutted his lips out and puffed his cheeks, signaling mocks sulking.
“Do you want me to kiss your lips here, in front of all your customers and give them a show? That’s so bold of you, Jinko.” Akutagawa can’t help but to tease.
“Ryuu!!”
“I’m kidding Atsushi.”
He watched as Atsushi smiled, satisfaction written on his face. And oh how much he misses seeing him smile for him. From all the years they spent together, Akutagawa has seen variations of Atsushi’s smiles, from the widest stretch whenever he is full with joy, to the slight turn of the rim after each nightmares, those broad spectrum of countless smiles have been etched into his mind and soul, and he would never, ever get tired of them all.