Chapter Text
It was one of these days when one wrong move or word could make Ren literally hide in the other room and come out when he calms down. Unfortunately he has had no such option since Yanqing started living with them and occupied the only room with a lock. Their flat was insufferably small even before but they always made it work. The main room used to be their living room, dining room, storage, office and place to rest. Now it was also their bedroom. They had to decide on a glazed balcony so they could squeeze their kitchen in there. When they started using it as the additional room for their flat every rain made them run on the balcony like crazy to close the windows and stop the water from falling all over the very few furniture. They didn’t own much but with Yanqing’s growing presence it was easier to stumble over his things everywhere. He also had the tendency to put his belongings in their space when he couldn’t squeeze them on his own shelves. Ren tried to sort through them right now as he couldn’t find one of his own files that drowned under Yanqing’s school papers.
“What are you doing?” Jing Yuan asked softly, seeing him struggle. He just came back from work, his hair was still messy, uniform tightly fitting his body. He couldn’t take a shower since the hot water in the bathroom was only between the 5 PM and 3 AM. He had yet to get some relief after trying to force a team of young, freedom-seeking youngsters to listen to him and obey basic orders.
“If I don’t find my last month’s report in the next five minutes I’m gonna scream.” Ren rubbed his temples trying to collect his thoughts. “I can’t find anything anywhere. When did it get so messy I could have sworn I sorted it like a week ago…” He wiped his face helplessly.
“How did it look?” Jing Yuan sat cross-legged on the floor and stared at the papers. “Maybe you’ve missed it.”
“Like a typical document.” He sighed in frustration. “It has a huge title MONTHLY REPORT at the front and lots of numbers all over it. It was in the system on the computer but it apparently broke down and we have to find all of the paper copies from the last few months… We found none at work from May and I’m sure I had it here. It just looks like a spreadsheet. Should be easy to spot. I had it stapled in the left corner.” He saw how Jing Yuan eyed Yanqing’s pile of colourful papers. “I’ll give him these later. Maybe I should build him a storage cube or something. Our stuff shouldn’t mix. Don’t check here. These are just his drawings.” Jing Yuan only nodded but kept on going through them to finally take out a few papers that certainly used to be stapled before. In the past, they might have even looked neat. Now they were half covered in dragons drawn by somebody’s small hands.
“I think I found what you were looking for.” He gazed at Ren whose shoulders dropped in defeat. “I don’t think you’ll be able to see most of the numbers though. It seems that one of the dragons sleeps on one of the columns here and the other decided to burn down most of the page with profit balance.” Ren was staring with disbelief at the file.
“Maybe the dragon would devour me too? My boss will do that either way if I don’t bring these on Monday. I was supposed to be responsible for these.” Jing Yuan squinted his eyes and moved the paper against the light.
“You know what, I think I might be able to see some of the numbers the dragons attempted to hide.” He moved the paper around hoping to make out more numbers from under the colourful pencils. “But let’s hope your boss actually manages to repair the computer. If not, we might lose eyes.”
“You’re already short-sighted. Good that Mimi is so fat, you would have stepped on her or sat on her whenever she lies on our white blanket.” He smirked and looked at the cat who was keeping him company since he started his searching. “Mimi?” He rubbed her belly and she opened her huge eyes and meowed in content. “She agreed with me.” Jing Yuan rolled his eyes because of course Mimi would always purr at anything Ren says. Who was the one to feed her under the table all these years?
“If it makes you feel any better, even when I was still a general our systems and computers tended to crash. Sometimes. I know you hate using electronics but I’m afraid there’s no way to escape it. One day everything will be available only on the screen. I know you would prefer to do everything traditionally but… that’s how life goes. It’s easier to do it like this and I have to admit I’m too lazy to do everything by hand. Too forgetful to know where I put the paper copy too.”
“Tell me this when the system storing millions of data crashes and they just evaporate without any copy left.” Ren put away the vision of being killed by his boss and gazed at Yanqing’s dragons. Then he noticed that some of the rectangles in the spreadsheet table were also coloured in. “He gets better with it. You see?” Ren smiled softly. “He is really becoming a master in this staying in the lines thing.” Jing Yuan saw how much it cost Ren to calm down.
“You’re right.” Yanqing should have been able to do everything other eight-year-olds did. That’s what his teachers were saying. They didn’t know that Yanqing’s background differed extremely from the other kids. When they were probably still frivolously playing with their friends in the backyard, Yanqing was closed at home, forced to stay silent, obedient and never cause troubles. The first time he appeared in their flat, he almost didn’t talk. He was too scared to irritate Jing Yuan (which was literally impossible) and Ren (which was possible but Ren would never be openly angry with the boy). There were many things Yanqing had never learned, many skills nobody had taught him. He was totally behind his classmates and it was hard to believe for his new caretakers he actually hadn’t been attending any kindergarten so far. Nobody told him to pay attention to the lines while colouring the pictures in.
“Maybe we should come up with a new challenge for him. Since lines are done… Maybe he could try not to forget about any of his household duties for a whole week?” Jing Yuan chuckled.
“That challenge may never end then.”
“For you it’s still ongoing too.” Ren hit him with a rolled-up report. “The trash.” Jing Yuan mewled and hid his face in palms.
“I knew I forgot about something when I was leaving.”
“I already took care of it. It stunk too bad when I came back.”
“I’m really sorry.” He gazed at him sheepishly. “I just… I was in a rush.”
“Maybe you want to get a coin for every time you actually leave not in a rush? In Yanqing’s case it worked.”
“Because he still can buy something valuable for one coin.”
“He no longer can. The cheapest sweets now cost two coins.” Ren smirked. “I checked yesterday. Inflation happened, A-Yuan. Which means our bills will go up sooner or later.” Jing Yuan groaned and sprawled on the table. “I miss when you were groaning like that for other reasons.”
***
School bus arrived every day at 3 PM. Yanqing was done with his lessons usually a lot earlier but neither of them could pick him up. Even when they managed to leave work on time, going through the rush in the city took longer than an hour. It was pointless. So they always waited for Yanqing at home or, more specifically, one of them always waited.
“Hi! The lift doesn’t work?” Yanqing asked, seeing Jing Yuan waiting for him downstairs. He hugged the boy warmly to greet him.
“Yeah. Unfortunately. Come on. Hand me your backpack. I’ll help you out.”
“No! I can do this myself, I’ll be fine.” Yanqing said proudly and started running ahead of Jing Yuan. His stamina ran out between fourth and fifth floor. The adult observed him pulling himself up slower and slower before he finally took a break at the landing. “How many more?”
“Four and a half.” Jing Yuan smirked when Yanqing let out an exhausted sigh as he starfished on the tiles. “Yanqing, these are so dirty, please don’t lie down here.”
“I need to rest before I can walk more…” He mewled and a few neighbours going downstairs sent him funny gazes.
“You know, my offer still stands. I can take your backpack.”
“Could you take me too?” He asked hopefully but he didn’t think Jing Yuan would actually do that. The man crouched by his side and offered to piggyback him upstairs. “You won’t get tired?”
“I’ll be fine.” He reassured the boy and picked him up effortlessly. “You wanna tell me about school?”
“Nothing interesting. Maths was easy, the book we read in Chinese class you read to me twice already… Boring. But my friends go to the martial arts classes! Could I go too? I wanna be like you! You know.” He tried to replicate some of the kung fu movements he saw in the cinema a few times. Jing Yuan lost some balance.
“Please don’t move so much.”
“Sorry.” Yanqing tangled his hands around his neck and nuzzled up closer. “But could I?”
“We will see what we can do.” Education wasn’t free to begin with and every additional class cost a fortune. He made a mental note to check it out when he has some time.
“I would really wanna go!” The boy was buzzing with energy even though he was lying down on the floor a few moments prior claiming he was spent.
“I believe you do but please. Don’t make us both fall down these stairs. I don’t wanna climb it all over again.”
“Sorry.” Yanqing mumbled but he didn’t sound apologetic at all. He even chuckled a bit when Jing Yuan missed a stair. “Is Ren home?”
“He went out for a run.”
“Did he get angry at work?”
“Slightly. Don’t worry about it. They’ll deal with it.”
“He always runs when he is super angry.” Yanqing pointed out and looked behind him as if he was scared Ren could hear him. “It must have been something bad. Why don’t you run with him?”
“I already move a lot at work and I don’t feel the need to add running in the city to it. Also, you tried to run with Ren once. Don’t act surprised when I don't want to.”
“Because I have short legs and he runs as if something is chasing him! He could take Mimi with him from time to time. Maybe she will lose weight.”
***
Since Jing Yuan came back from his typical routine of running errands on the Saturday morning, Ren noticed there was something off in the way he acted. He smiled and chuckled when Yanqing joked about something. He played with Mimi right when she appeared on the table. Then he hid in their tiny kitchen to cook dinner. Mimi decided to watch him closely since he seemed to have some tasty snacks for her. Ren observed his tense back from his seat by the dinner table.
“Is it okay?” Yanqing pulled on his sleeve showing him his notebook.
“It is. You’re doing great.” He patted his head and Yanqing smiled proudly. “You want to go outside and play when you’re done?” The boy’s eyes glowed. “Then finish it up fast.” The calculations were getting very messy but still correct. Yanqing was scratching the paper with his pencil and stopping only to stretch his palm out. He was motivated to go outside by himself to play and nothing could stop him. Maybe besides Ren forcing him to wear a cap because he was paranoid that one day Yanqing might actually overheat in the sun. Sometimes the boy was running around for hours when Ren sat in the shadow pondering - have I ever been like that?
“Just stay in the courtyard.” It was hard to call it a backyard or any other playground. It was just a space left between four blocks of flats when they were put in a square formation. Kids were playing their games there (to the delight of silence-loving neighbours) and grown ups tended to throw random trash there from their balconies. Put out cigarettes, dry leaves, sometimes even cartons of milk were falling down. “So I can see you from the window. Alright?”
“Sure, sure.” He waited impatiently as Ren looped his ponytail above the adjustable strap. “Can I go now?”
“Please don’t touch any trash you find.”
“Sure.” The boy tightened his grip on the bottle of water. There was no escape from the bottle of water.
“And don’t bring home a squirrel like last time.” Yanqing pouted but nodded silently. He still could smell the cream Ren put on his nose. “Now you’re free to go.” As if Yanqing got a blessing from the heavens, he disappeared in seconds and Ren just looked up to the ceiling. It was a miracle the boy still hadn’t broken any bone or sprained any ankle or wrist. He wasn’t particularly religious but whoever was watching over Yanqing when his own eyes couldn’t reach him - thank you very much, please don’t stop. Especially now when he entered the kitchen and only checked if Yanqing arrived safely to the courtyard. He immediately joined some group of kids playing football and he forgot about the whole world. He smiled at the picture but then his gaze scanned Jing Yuan. The other male was clearly somewhere else, somewhere well away, without Ren or Yanqing or even Mimi bumping his hand that stopped cutting the carrots long ago. Ren moved towards him and took away the knife from his hand. That was enough to wake Jing Yuan up from his thoughts but Ren already pushed him away with his hip and started chopping the vegetables himself.
“If you continue preparing food at such a pace we will starve.” He smirked and started moving faster around the kitchen. Jing Yuan stood in the corner stroking Maine Coon’s fluffy fur. “You’re in there? A-Yuan?” He threw all of the carrots into the pot and peeked at the kids outside.
“Yeah.” He didn’t seem to believe his own words though. “I just think too much.” He scratched Mimi under her chin and she purred.
“About?” Ren leaned against the cabinet but when it cracked under his weight he instantly stood upright. “That was risky.”
“Standing on that balcony already is.” They both chuckled at that. Ren remembered when the balcony was still empty and he could smoke here freely. Not often, but it was nice to put out a cigarette and then throw it downstairs looking how slow it was falling down. Funny. He hated when people were doing such a thing now. “I just think…” He fiddled with his fingers. “How low do I have to bow so they let me go back to higher ranks.” Ren’s brows furrowed.
“What? You hated being a general. That’s why you resigned. You never wanted to be one to begin with. Why would you do something you hate?”
“And you?” There was no bitterness in his voice, just sadness, inaudible question - Why can’t you no longer do what you love? “Why? Why did they close the forge?” Ren realised it was a voice of a man struggling in an adult’s body hoping for life to become easy again as when they were still kids.
“You know why. To purge the traditional, cultural elements from everyone’s daily life. These weapons were no longer needed. They were only wanted. When people want things for themselves it means they’re thinking about their own wishes and not everyone’s good. They become selfish, they think, they dream, it’s too close to being an individual. Individual freedom is almost equal to overthrowing the current government. That’s why I can’t forge swords anymore. Because I’m a threat to the government.” He shrugged and raised his head with pride. “They’re scared of me. I could slash them all in one go. You could handle them with bare hands even without any weapon.” Ren poked his chubby cheek. “A-Yuan. For real. Why did you think so?”
“I think inflation just gave me a good slap in the face this morning.” Ren tilted his head to the side. It was more than painfully obvious the prices were running up. “I…” He started counting on his fingers. “I went to pay for Yanqing’s school and then for our bills, car insurance and monthly health insurance and… Mimi has to stay inside for a bit because I didn’t have anything on me to pay for her vaccines and scheduling. Next time they do them is next month, so. No taking you outside to wander around I’m afraid.” He stroked the cat’s muzzle. “I’m sorry, Mimi. Too many ticks and fleas that can sell you some bacteria, viruses or parasites.” He nuzzled up to her white fluff to hide from Ren’s gaze.
“If you told me it was so high we would share. I know that you always take care of bills and I supply the house and Yanqing’s wants but… You know we could just split?”
“I didn’t think it would be that bad. When I was still a general it made our life financially easier.”
“It also made our life miserable because there were weeks when I didn’t see you at all. I don’t care.”
“We wouldn’t at least worry about money.” He felt guilty, he was the one who always promised it would be okay.
“But I would worry about you, you complete idiot.” Ren flicked Jing Yuan’s forehead. “Good that it lasted for just a year. We were both drained whenever you were back. If Yanqing didn’t appear I would probably still wait for you on that balcony and never quit smoking.” Ren started wiping the counters. “And you know well you hated it too.”
“I’m not keen on my current job either. It doesn’t matter what I hate or not at this point.”
“It does. For me, it does.” He crossed his arms and stood right in front of Jing Yuan. Close enough their breaths were indistinguishable. “Listen. Let’s go through this month. We will realise how bad it can get. But we’ve always made it through. I could… take more shifts. Right after I explain the dragon incident that happened right on my report’s surface. If we managed to fool everyone we were just flatmates then we’ll be fine.” He tapped Jing Yuan’s nose a few times and smirked. “Don’t ever act again like you’re alone with this. You’re not and you never will. Don’t make me angry on a weekend morning.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You better be. There’s nothing bad about living poor like students. We used to be masters of it. Do you remember that one flat in the north? We were camping on the floor, the bed was impossible to sleep on.” Jing Yuan’s eye twitched. “You do.” Ren smirked. “Well. Here we have basically a castle compared to that.”
“What can I do? Most of the flats in that city are human cages.” Jing Yuan sighed. “I just wanted something better for him.” He gazed outside, children were playing hopscotch and he instantly spotted a fair ponytail jumping up and down. “When he grows up we are going to be screwed.” He looked at their belongings literally overflowing from any visible drawer and shelf. Ren covered Jing Yuan’s eyes with his palm.
“Don’t look. I’ll sort it out. Today. I promise.”
“Promise me not to take more shifts just yet.”
“Do I look like I’m in a rush to spend more time at my job than I currently do?” Ren raised his eyebrow and then looked at Mimi. “And you? How are you going to contribute to the new money saving programme? Maybe you would start eating less, huh?” He picked the Maine Coon up as if she was a newborn and blew on her little, pink nose. “I’m sorry to inform you but your title as Raffaello Ball is still valid. You can’t consume most of our supplies.” The cat just meowed in a weird tone.
What do you mean I can’t?
“You can, but you shouldn’t. Look at you. You will roll down the stairs and nobody will be able to stop you, like a snowball. You might reach such a speed that you could actually kill someone in the staircase. I could count it for you. Mimi rolls down with constant acceleration a and the base speed v0 . Mimi weighs 20 pounds, assuming her shape is a perfect sphere, how long will it take her to reach the speed that could kill a human if a crash were to occur?” The cat wiggled in his grip and jumped on the floor with a pout. She decided to leave them in the kitchen since they clearly made fun of her and she was not going to tolerate it. Ren noticed how Jing Yuan’s body finally relaxed. “Look, she won’t even try to calculate it, she will straight off check it experimentally. I respect it. True engineer.” Jing Yuan chuckled when the cat shot them a glare as if she knew what they were talking about. Ren’s gaze softened and he put a palm on the other’s cheek. “I’m gonna make a first attempt to decipher my report.” He kissed him gently on the corner of his lips before he left the kitchen. “Watch out for the pot.” Jing Yuan didn’t have time to cherish the romantic moment, he had to save the stove from the soup bubbling dangerously.
***
The laundry room was spacious and Yanqing loved to play tag with Jing Yuan between all of the sheets and clothes. The washing machines were loud as hell and nobody cared when they were doing the laundry. Sometimes Jing Yuan and Ren were lying wide awake in the middle of the night because somebody decided it’s the best time to clean their bedsheets. They didn’t even live right above or under that room. But the noise was still horrible.
“Got you!” Jing Yuan caught Yanqing covering him with a sheet. The boy started laughing maniacally and tried to free himself before admitting his defeat. His red face emerged from between the white folds of the fabric.
“One more!” He yelled when Jing Yuan picked him up and hugged tight to his chest. “Come on… one more. How long was I running this time?” He gazed at Ren who was currently sitting on one of the washing machines so it didn’t move so much.
“Thirty two seconds.” He smirked at the pair.
“My record is forty and I wanna break it today!” Jing Yuan tickled Yanqing and started holding him upside down. The boy helplessly tried to pull himself up while letting out waterfalls of laughter.
“Are you sure?” Jing Yuan grinned seeing him struggle. Finally Yanqing gave up and straightened his arms to touch the ground. Jing Yuan helped him balance for a moment in a handstand while holding his ankles.
“Let me go, I wanna see if I can stand by myself.” He asked but as fast as Jing Yuan drew his hands, Yanqing ended up on the floor. He stood up in seconds and grinned. “I’m fine.”
“I see.” Jing Yuan sat on the floor sighing. “How do you have so much energy today? Didn’t you have PE today?”
“I did but you know we do nothing on PE besides basketball.” He complained.
“Why are kids always so loud?!” Sudden screechy, loud scream made them all look at the entrance. One of the grannies living on their floor just stood in the door frame with a grimace. She was staring at Yanqing the way only angry old people can. The boy hid behind Jing Yuan’s legs. “For god’s sake, how can a child behave like this? Are you a kid or an animal? Maybe your father should finally use a hand and not only pat your head. Are you like that at school too?” She shook her head with disappointment. Ren and Jing Yuan’s brows instantly frowned.
“That was uncalled for, madame Liu. I apologise for the noise but Yanqing is just a child and he was just playing around.”
“Playing? You call that playing? You’re a military man and can’t even control your own kid?!” She threw her laundry basket next to one of the washing machines and the noise startled Ren. Yanqing tightened his grip on Jing Yuan’s waist and mumbled weakly.
“I’m sorry, madame Liu.” Jing Yuan was stroking his head gently. The boy closed his eyes to stop his tears.
“Madame Liu should apologise too because what gives anyone the law to compare a child to an animal?” Ren jumped off the washing machine.
“He acts like one, I don’t understand why shouldn’t I point it out?” She smiled sweetly to him. “You’ve never been better yourself. Maybe a father should keep the child away from the people who have such a bad impact on them?”
“Not everyone appreciates your thoughts on the matter.”
“Nobody taught you how to speak to the elders?”
“When elders talk to me like that, I don’t think I should show them any respect. Don’t talk to Yanqing this way either. He did nothing wrong besides laughing loudly. It would be enough to say the noise bothers you. You didn’t have to insult him, especially when he didn’t know what he did wrong.” The woman grimaced and packed her laundry in before adding the soap powder.
“Could I…” Suddenly Yanqing appeared by Ren’s side and gazed at the granny with tears spilling down his face. “Could I maybe do something to make you feel better, madame Liu? I didn’t want to bother anyone…”
“Could you even stay silent if I asked? I highly doubt it.” She turned around and before Ren could insult her, Jing Yuan put a hand over his mouth and waited till granny Liu was out.
“Ren. Hey. Ren. Don’t answer disrespect with disrespect. You’re more than this. Just distance yourself. You know her, she complains for the sake of complaining.” Ren squinted his eyes at the doors behind which the woman had disappeared. He picked the boy up and Yanqing cuddled to his chest softly weeping.
“Damn old people.” He cursed under his breath and Jing Yuan gently hit his shoulder and covered Yanqing’s ears.
“Don’t swear around him.”
“I’m not swearing around him. He just happened to be around when I swore at a disrespectful old bi-” He cut himself off seeing Jing Yuan’s gaze. “-tter woman.” Yanqing peeked at them with glowing eyes.
“I didn’t want to…”
“We know. We know A-Qing. It’s okay. She is just very sensitive. Let’s not think about it too much. She can’t mess up our evening with her moods. I’ll fold the laundry and we could go to the rooftop? The street lamps will be turned on soon.” Jing Yuan stroked his cheek and smiled. He knew the boy loved observing the city glowing with lights at night. It was one of their favourite activities. Totally free. Ren and Yanqing observed Jing Yuan putting away all of their clothes and sheets. There was something calming in the sounds of the fabric moving and watching it being put in a neat pile. Oddly satisfying. Jing Yuan was a master of folding and it was always hypnotising for Ren. He never had problems with packing, everything fit in his backpack or suitcase. He said he found comfort in symmetry and order. That’s probably why their mess in the living room was giving them both such a headache.
“You can go to the rooftop without me. I’ll go back to the flat and join you soon. Okay?”
***
“She is just stupid. Don’t tell Jing Yuan I said that.” Ren rubbed his back in the calming manner as they took the lift to the highest floor.
“They… They used to yell at me for being loud too.” The boy stuttered and Ren frowned.
“I’m sorry. But they won’t yell at you anymore.” He promised and Yanqing hugged tighter to him. “I won’t let them.”
“What if they want me to come back?”
“Then we will run away and nobody will find us.”