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D: I hope you have a great time at homecoming!! You look so handsome in your suit! Be safe and have fun!! 😁
M: 👍
David placed down his phone and let out a sigh. He could tell Max was still upset with him.
Ever since the dance had been announced, it had been him pushing Max to go and have fun with friends, and Max pulling back with the reasoning he never enjoyed those kinds of events. A part of him wondered if it also had to do with the fact that he couldn’t go, but Max had never implied it and he never mentioned it.
Eventually he had won, and gotten Max to agree to go. It'd happened on one of their nightly phone calls. He had brought up the dance and Max had let out a frustrated groan and for a moment David was worried another argument would ensue. But then Max begrudgingly said he’d go. At the time, he had been over the moon. Mostly because Max was going, but also because they hadn’t ended up arguing.
It was fun, helping Max plan for his first ‘real’ dance. He had helped Max pick out an outfit, prepare for all the spirit days, even got him a hair appointment, and gave him suggestions for activities to do at the dance.
He scrolled back up through their conversation, to where Max had sent him a photo of his outfit for the night. He looked absolutely stunning in it, even if it was just a slightly nicer version of his usual look. But looking at Max’s face, which looked far from excited, he felt guilty.
God, he had done it again, hadn’t he? He convinced himself he knew Max better than he knew himself. That this was the best thing for Max, even if the boy didn’t want to do it.
In hindsight, he shouldn’t have pushed so hard for Max to attend. Max had made it clear he wasn’t interested in going, but he couldn’t comprend Max missing out on such a big event. He didn’t want his boyfriend to look back at his time in high school and regret having missed out, or even weaken his relationship with his friends.
Apart of him though, felt guilty for a more selfish reason. Even if Max had been willing to go the entire time, the fact that he wasn’t able to attend made him feel worse.
Max hadn’t ever shown himself to be very romantic, or into any sort of couple things, but whenever they held the Lake Lilac Social, Max would always find him for one dance. David had cherished them and waited patiently at every dance for Max to approach him.
When he had found out about homecoming, a small part of his mind had been quick to remind him he couldn’t go, and therefore wouldn’t be able to dance with Max. This would be Max’s first dance where he wasn’t there. He had ignored it at the time, just like he had with similar thoughts, but it was starting to feel like something that was too hard to brush off.
This wouldn’t be the only event for Max he couldn’t attend. There would be the next homecomings, prom, holidays, and graduations. Things he could only hear about over the phone and during the two months they were together.
Max didn’t deserve that. He deserved to be with somebody who could go to all those important events and cheer him on. Who didn’t have to either lie about their dating status or be vague to avoid suspicion. Who could shout from the tops of mountains that he was utterly and hopelessly in love with him instead of having to say it in hushed whispers.
It hurts to not be able to do that. One day, if he and Max even make it that far, then he certainly could, but why should Max have to wait? Then again, if he even implied a break, Max would find some way to get to his apartment for the sole purpose of punching him, so it’s for the best to avoid that option. That and he really doesn’t want to break up with him.
He glances over at the clock, which shows 7:45. He has a few hours to prepare an apology and think about all the insecurities that he probably needs to discuss to avoid another conflict.
Hopefully, Max answers his phone.