Work Text:
Hanako lays on the rooftop gazing at the stars. He’ll do this regularly when his nights are free and the clouds are gone. Just alone with his thoughts. Sometimes he’ll think about his day, tomorrow, his next plan to annoy Tsuchigomori. But tonight, his mind is on a certain someone.
Yashiro…
Yashiro’s eyes. Yashiro’s hair. Yashiro’s smile. Yashiro’s laugh. Yashiro’s lips. The way she blushes. When she’s cleaning. When she’s in class and lets Hanako play with her hair, even after all the times he ruined it and he gets to put his arms around her and she holds onto his arm to let him know she appreciates it… He could go on and on about her. Sometimes he does when talking to the mokke.
But despite all the longing in his dead heart he just can’t say it. He just can’t say that he loves her. Always having to hide it under a flirty remark because he just can’t communicate his feelings without some sort of disguise. Because he is so scared for what would come afterwards. And most of all…
What if she doesn’t feel the same?
But she said it that time on the rooftop, didn’t she? “I like you” she said. One side of him thought, hopeful.
Yeah, but that was meant in a platonic way. Surely, The other side dismissed.
But remember the kiss... Said Amane.
She was trying to make you feel better. That’s doesn’t mean anything! Hanako yelled in his mind, his eyebrows pulling together.
Why can’t you just accept that she feels the same way! She even said it! Get out of denial, Amane argued.
And why can’t you just accept that it’s impossible!! I’m a ghost!! And even if it is possible. why would she love us?! I’m a murderer, a creep and she could do so much better!! You can’t love someone who hates themselves, Amane. Stop being so hopeful because it will only make it harder for when she leaves (us). Once the severance comes, she will be safe. Wishing will get you nowhere. You should know that better than anyone.
And his thoughts were silent. Until
I hate you, you know that? You are just so stubborn and depressing its sickening. I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I--
I know.
And it was true. Because Hanako hates Hanako. And Amane hates Amane. And Hanako hates Amane and Amane hates Hanako. And that is just the facts.
And Yashiro should hate Hanako, but she doesn’t.
Why? She has so many reasons to. He trapped her in a fake world without her consent. He got her captured so many times. (Hanako refuses to acknowledge that every time he saves her, she looks relieved and so so happy to see him) He teases her. He lies to her. HE IS A LITERAL MURDERER. HE HAS TAKEN SOMEONES LIFE. AND HIS OWN BROTHERS, NO LESS!!
So why? Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY---
.
.
.
And he stands up. Opens the door. And steps through. The moon watching his back retreat down the stairs, always waiting for his next visit.