Work Text:
Shouto Todoroki sat at his desk, his hands waving as he told his story: “It’s extremely obvious that Mustard is Toxic Chainsaw’s secret lovechild. No one talks about it in the villain world, of course. But just look at their quirks.”
As the loud voice pierced his ears across the classroom, Katsuki Bakugo groaned and snapped his own pencil in irritation. He couldn’t figure out if IcyHot Bastard was naïve or stupid. Every single day, his candy cane-haired classmate had a new conspiracy theory, usually about who was related to who. Each one was more ridiculous than the last. Mustard had been born after Toxic Chainsaw had been jailed, but that wouldn’t stop Daddy Issues from theorizing about them. There had been dumber secret lovechildren. Sometimes Shouto’s theories involved time travel. Katsuki didn’t know how Deku put up with this nonsense when they were supposed to be studying during their free period. Yet Izuku Midoriya stood by his friend’s desk and nodded along to the latest garbage. In the nerd’s place, Katsuki would have set Shouto on fire for wasting his time. In fact, maybe he would anyway.
Denki Kaminari ran over. “Hey, funny coincidence, I saw the same theory on HatesFireLovesSoba’s blog yesterday.”
Shouto blinked up at him. “Yes, that’s my blog.”
“Noooooooooo way!” Denki gasped, electricity running down his body. “Dude, you’re internet famous! Your theory about Midoriya being All Might’s lovechild made the news, even if it was treated like a joke.” Denki glanced at Izuku, then stopped talking.
Wearily, Izuku said, “It’s okay, I already know. There’s no point in trying to stop him.”
Denki asked, “If I was related to a famous hero, who would it be?” He struck a pose.
Shouto’s eyes narrowed as he digested this question. “How about Thor?”
“Cool!” Denki cried.
Katsuki could take this no longer. He stormed over. “Thor is a Norse god, you shitty morons!”
Izuku said, “Actually, I think Todoroki meant the Marvel comics book character. From the dawn of the age of quirks.” He withered under Katsuki’s glare.
Katsuki bellowed, “What the hell does it matter? God or character or both, he can’t show up on a paternity test with Pikachu over here because he doesn’t exist!”
Denki rolled his eyes. “It’s just a game.”
“There’s no need to be a jerk,” Izuku said in that firm tone he never got when he was being picked on himself—only when Katsuki bullied someone else.
Katsuki stomped off, muttering to himself.
After that, Katsuki would rather have avoided Deku and IcyHot Bastard for the rest of the week until his brain cells recovered from their stupidity. So of course he got stuck on the same team as them with the world’s stupidest assignment. Aizawa had ordered the trio to pretend to be villains and deliver a package to a café. The hero team (Uraraka, Sero, and Koda) had to track them. It was a rare assignment taking place off school grounds, so they weren’t allowed to fight. The hero team was only supposed to follow them and take a picture of the handoff. Aizawa said some missions required subtlety. Katsuki would swear his teacher had been looking him while saying that.
Well, Katsuki wouldn’t let his grades be affected by these two idiots. He’d insisted on carrying the package himself. And he was certain he’d lost the extras during the chase. They were almost finished.
At drop-off location, Izuku whispered, “We’re being watched. Not by our classmates—there are two men wearing casual clothing.”
Katsuki grunted. Now the nerd had pointed it out, he could see them sitting on a sidewalk bench outside the café. One kept peeking over his newspaper, and the other pretended to be listening to music but hadn’t noticed his earphones had fallen out of his I-pod. “Probably yet another hidden test from Professor Insomnia.” He stopped walking, tucking the package close to his side. Even though he remembered his instructions, he measured the distance to attack them with his gaze.
“No,” Shouto said, sticking out an arm to block Katsuki. “They’re HPSC agents. They’ve been investigating All Might’s quirk for years, and now it looks like Midoriya is their new target. Just ignore them. They won’t make a move, not yet.”
Katsuki snorted. “Damn, the inside of your head must look like a carnival funhouse.”
“It’s not a joke.” The frigidness of Shouto’s tone very nearly made Katsuki believe it.
Izuku bit his lip. “Todoroki, can we talk more later? Would you tell All Might about this? After we finish our assignment, of course.”
The shitty nerd had fallen for it. Katsuki wondered a little himself—but he didn’t like the feeling of going along with someone else’s pace. “I’m not failing because you believe your own stories, shithead. Feel free to serve as my distraction if you want to go through the front door.” He darted away from the other two.
At the back of the café, Katsuki found a window and climbed in. He was deeply annoyed when shitty Deku and IcyHot Bastard strolled through the front door. What, it seriously hadn’t been a test? Then were the two damn watchers actually HPSC agents?
Shouto glared at Katsuki. “They realized we’d spotted them because of your antics. They ran off. Next time, they’ll be more subtle. You should have pretended not to see.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Katsuki exploded. Then he paused, annoyed at himself because he suspected Daddy Issues was right for once. One for All being a transferrable quirk would probably attract government attention, if they had any idea. Given All Might’s status, he and his successor would be under close scrutiny. Katsuki very much hated being wrong. He grumbled, “How the hell was I supposed to know you weren’t making shit up? You always lie.”
“They’re not lies,” Shouto said, sharp and defensive. “They’re fun stories. It started as a way to explain what I saw as a child—oh, never mind. You’d never understand. Don’t take this from me.”
Katsuki froze. Because suddenly, he understood all too well. He’d eavesdropped on Shouto’s past during the Sports Festival. Around Endeavor, Shouto must have seen all sorts of horrible things. He’d lost faith in heroes and the system at a young age. Had he turned government corruption into stories and conspiracy theories to cope?
Shit. This touchy-feely nonsense was above Katsuki’s pay grade. What kind of dumbass displayed their emotional issues in public instead of keeping them safely locked up inside? He glanced sideways. Izuku had gone very still, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Clearly, Izuku had realized the same thing.
Katsuki felt a wave of relief. Deku would talk to Daddy Issues about his conspiracy theory coping mechanisms. The nerd was good at talking to people about their worthless problems. There was no need for Katsuki to do anything.
Yet still, his feeling of unease lingered, as if he’d once again eavesdropped on something private and never meant for him.