Chapter Text
BANG!
The sound was so loud it stopped time, stopped the world from turning, vibrating through his body in slow motion. Something warm splashed on his face, his arms, his upper body. Strangely, every other sound was swallowed now like he was suddenly under water.
“Matt.”
He didn’t know how often she had been calling his name. His head was swimming. He turned around slowly, blinking.
“Matt, sweetheart, give me the gun”, she said. Her voice was soft, calm. She took it from his hand as if it was something ordinary to do. “Now, get under the shower. Be thorough.”
He heard what she said, but his mind didn't get the meaning. “Okay, Mum”, he whispered, and she gave him a sad smile. “I love you, sweetie. I love you.”
He heard the second bang when he walked into the bathroom. That’s when his body started shaking.
He shot up in the darkness, heart beating rapidly in his chest. He felt the bile in his throat and threw the covers back, jumping out of bed. He made it to the bathroom just in time to empty his stomach with one violent heave. He wasn’t able to stop his body from shaking.
There was a hand, on his back first and then softly stroking over his head. “Shh, it’s okay. Just a bad dream.” A warm body pressed against him, hands rubbing up and down his arms. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” He heaved once more, bringing up some more bile, then slumped against the other body. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I’m exactly where I should be”, he replied, pressing a kiss to his neck and carding his fingers through his short blonde hair. “You’re better now?”
He nodded, shifting a little in his arms. The cold, clammy pictures of memory were slowly fading, disappearing behind the fog he had banned them into ever since that night. Because he can’t talk about this, never, to no-one. She instilled it into him before the police walked in their house and his life was shattered forever.
He held him for a moment longer, pressing kisses to his neck and shoulders, gently caressing him. “Let’s go back to bed.”
He slowly scrambled up and rinsed out his mouth. Then he turned around, facing his lover. “You should go home, Andy.”
Andy got up, framing his head with his hands. “I’m not going anywhere.” And he kissed him softly on the lips, soon turning into something more heated as he pressed their naked bodies together. “Come back to bed, Matt.”