Chapter Text
Eddie was not ashamed of being an omega, he was just … discrete nowadays.
In his corner of El Paso, to the shame of his parents, he had been known as that omega boy. There hadn’t been a non-beta in his family for three generations, except his great grandfather, the alpha patriarch of family legends. An omega though, he had the dubious honor of being the first. His parents had found his ‘condition’ as they liked to refer to his status as, embarrassing. Heats, being able to give birth, in their eyes, meant their only boy was not going to grow into the kind of man they had hoped.
Eddie had felt nothing but shame about who he was, for a long time.
After Shannon left, he stayed in El Paso as long as he could. He tolerated the snide remarks, the constant criticism and lack of trust in his capabilities as a parent. Until he noticed that his parents were telling everyone, including Christopher, that Shannon was Christopher's birth parent. That’s what finally snapped him out of it, what made him trust his gut, when it told him to leave for LA. The odds of getting an alpha or omega child was 1 in 100 for a beta couple, for an alpha and omega couple like him and Shannon, the odds of Chris being something other than a beta was closer to 1 in 10. For Eddie it didn't matter how Chris presented, but he was not going to let him grow up in shame, like him.
Unfortunately, letting go of the shame and worry wasn’t as simple as leaving his parents and El Paso behind though. Firstly, there was the very real worry of discrimination. Back home, even after two tours in Afghanistan, he was turned away from jobs he was more than qualified for, and the El Paso fire academy had rejected his application. He ended up working three jobs because no one would give him a chance.
Here in LA, he had to put down his designation on his official forms, but some new attempt at diversifying the fire department in California meant that none of the evaluators in the academy were made aware of the candidates designation. Neither did the fire chiefs while making their selection, though once Eddie accepted a position that information would be available if they chose to look. Absences for heat leaves and medical records couldn’t be hidden indefinitely.
He passed through the academy at the top of his class, with two firehouses fighting over him. He met with Stenton from six first. A man in his forties maybe, and an alpha. Which Eddie could smell before the captain got close enough to shake his hand. That was against firehouse protocol, but if Eddie addressed it, well, he could guess how things would go from there.
Stenton appeared to be a decent enough captain, at first glance, but Eddie's hackles had been up since the moment the introduction started. He had no desire to be part of a team that didn’t really want someone like him there.
The tour rounded up without Eddie giving anything away, and Stenton seemed satisfied and ready to take him on right there and then. Fortunately, Eddie still had the 118 to visit.
“... and that concludes the tour.” Captain Nash said, “I already know everything I need to know about you Eddie, and you know we would love to have you. Are there any questions you have towards me?”
“Yes, Captain,” Eddie said hesitantly.
“You want to step into my office?” Captain Nash offered, sensing Eddie’s hesitation, and Eddie gratefully followed him inside. Nash took a seat behind his desk and gestured for Eddie to sit down. “What’s on your mind son?”
“I know you haven’t seen my medical records yet -” Eddie started to say.
“And I don’t need to.” Captain Nash interrupted firmly, “I know what I need to know, and I know you would make a great addition to our team.”
“I’m an omega,” Eddie blurted out. He hoped that trusting the Captain wasn’t going to blow up in his face, but something about Captain Nash told him to take a chance. After his meeting with Stenton, Eddie wanted to make sure he wasn’t walking into a place that would withdraw its welcome once they knew about him.
“I appreciate you telling me, Eddie.” Captain Nash said in a gentle voice, “That won't change anything on my end. But maybe I can tell you a bit more about us, to convince you that this would be a place that would be honored to have you join.”
As Eddie listened to the Captain talk about his team, he took a deep breath and thought yeah. Yeah this could work.
A few weeks later, with bills stacking up, he had to start work, despite the fact that he still hadn’t figured out proper childcare for Christopher. His Tía and Abuela were willing to help out for now, and he had enrolled Chris in a nearby elementary school, but he needed to figure out something more stable.
The hottest day of the year was not the ideal time to start though, he thought grumpily, wrinkling his nose at the stench of sweat and the lingering smell of alpha in the locker rooms, their pheromones on display to those who could sense them. He couldn’t scent any other omegas, but then again, no one would be able to scent him either.
Scent blockers were mandatory while on shift for all first responders that came in contact with the public, but alphas tended to prefer using scent blocking spray, the type you could rinse off with soap at the end of a shift. They worked well for the average person, but with 24 and 48 hour shifts, long calls, and fires… Eddie knew from the army that a spray blocker could only do so much. He preferred the hormonal scent blockers, taken each morning with his birth and heat control, this far in life they had been fool proof, not a single alpha had clocked him based on scent since he started on them.
Bobby had briefed him that his team was made up of two betas, Bobby and Chimney, a guy who was quick to bring Eddie into the fold, and two alphas. Hen, a paramedic who came across as confident and settled, and who partnered with Chim. And then there was Buck.
Buck was puffing up his chest and marking his territory from the moment Eddie stepped into the firehouse, and it continued throughout their shift.
Eddie had met pushy alphas before, mostly in the army where they were overrepresented, and constantly fighting over authority and territory when forced into close quarters with each other. Eddie had always done his best to hang back and stay away from them, lest he be treated as the territory, or as an omega who should know his place.
At first he assumed that that was what it was, Buck subconsciously picking up on the fact that Eddie was an omega, and getting angry that they were being treated as equals. But that didn’t feel quite right, Cap’s and Hen’s amusement at the situation being his main clue. He hadn’t known the Captain for long, but he trusted him not to sit back and laugh at the discrimination of his new employee. But that left Eddie confused as to what on earth Buck’s problem was.
As the day went on, and the team's dynamics started to become clearer to Eddie, so did his understanding of Buck. The Captain, Bobby, was the most assertive beta he had ever met. Chim and Hen had been a duo for so long that they operated like a well oiled machine. And Buck, he was the kid. He’d started there young, and was still the youngest even with Eddie's arrival. From what Eddie heard, he had been a bit of a mess initially, and getting over a breakup currently. He had probably expected a probationary firefighter that was younger and less experienced than him, so that he could step up in the ranks of the A shift. So now he was acting like a young alpha trying to prove himself, scared to lose ground to Eddie.
The understanding made Buck easier to tolerate, especially as no matter how irritated Buck got with his presence, he still always deferred to Eddie on calls where he had more experience.
Eddie had no intention of letting Buck push him around, but he also had zero interest in joining his pissing contest, so he minded his business and did his job and figured that he and Buck just weren’t going to be friends. He was wrong about that.
"You can have my back any day."
"Yeah. Or, you know, you could... You could have mine."
And just like that, Buck let Eddie into his territory.
Things were going as smoothly as they could in LA, and then the earth quakes hit, and he couldn't reach Chris.
It was Buck who noticed and who tried to reassure him, and who at the end of one of the longest days on the job that Eddie could recollect, still drove him to Christopher when his car was stuck. And then he didn’t stop helping him. Suddenly, Buck was in every part of Eddie's life, driving him to the hospital when Abuela got hurt, introducing him to Carla.
Eddie didn’t know what to do with all of Buck's help and attention, and not just Buck’s, his whole team stepped in and gave Chris the best day he had had so far in LA.
Eddie had never had that type of support before. With his parents, they were helping Chris while doing their best to ignore Eddie, and any help from them came with comments and guilt and judgment, and the constant worry that they would one day treat Christopher like they treated him. Shannon had been as young and in over her head as him, he didn’t blame her for not supporting him, he knew he had failed in that regard as well, but he had never felt like he could lean on her.
So he had not expected when he joined the 118 that he would get to experience what it could be like to be cared for by an alpha and a pack. He knew rationally, that Buck wasn’t his alpha, and that the 118 was work and not a pack, but this was the most settled he had ever felt.
The problem was that there was something that Eddie hadn’t shared with anyone other than Bobby, and the closer he got to the 118, the worse he felt about keeping his status a secret.
Eddie had told himself when he moved to LA with Christopher that he was not going to hide who he was. He was going to be cautious, he was going to be realistic, but he wasn’t going to hide, he wasn’t going to be ashamed.
But that had been easier said than done. Back in El Paso, word spread fast and everyone nearby had known, omegas being somewhat rare and male omegas rare still. His high school had had about ten or so omegas, but he had been the only male one when he presented, so he had always stood out. And as scent blockers had been restricted in Texas at the time, he’d never had to tell anyone he was an omega, they had all known. In the army he hid it, and he doesn't regret that decision, it was how he felt safest at the time.
But now, now he was supposed to be free. He was supposed to be free from his parents and their shame and free to be himself and to set a positive example for Chris, and yet he was terrified. He was absolutely terrified of the life he had built here falling down like a stack of cards, no matter how irrational he knew that feeling was.
He couldn’t stomach the idea of leaving his house and going to the store or to pick up Chris from school without scent blocking. It embarrassed him, this fear. Carla did it every day, and so did Maddie, who had every reason to not feel safe. He wasn’t quite sure where this fear came from either, if it was the negativity from his family that has him expecting the worst, or if the lingering feeling of being unsafe from his years in the army had fucked with even this aspect of his life.
He kept telling himself that if anyone asked him straight out he would tell the truth, but no one had. He had let this lie of omission go on for too long, he had been over six months with the 118 now and only Bobby knew the truth. They all took him for a beta and treated him like a beta. And while he logically trusted his team to not treat him differently when the truth came out, he didn’t want anything to change. But the 118 was becoming his family, and the longer he kept quiet the worse he felt.
And truthfully, now that he had experienced living as a supposed beta and single father in LA, the difference to how he was treated now compared to the teenage single parent omega, was glaring, and he didn’t exactly want to go back to that. He knew his team wouldn’t treat him like that, but what about his neighbors, or Christopher’s teachers, how would they act towards him if they knew?
But there was also a small part of him, who, while appreciating all the ways in which life as a supposed beta was simpler and less complicated, wanted to be seen as himself.
It was one thing to not be ashamed, but it was a different thing altogether to be brave. And Christopher deserved that, he deserved a parent who was brave and taught him to be brave, who didn’t bring shame into their home. And yet Eddie let the weeks and months in this new life pass with him staying quiet.
After months of agonizing about how to tell his team about his status, the truth came out on a regular tuesday afternoon.
Chris and Eddie were dropping by Maddie’s place to say hello, a belated little housewarming party, when it happened.
Chimney was showing off an ultrasound a victim from an accident a few weeks back had sent him, thanking him for his help saving his girlfriend and unborn child.
“They are the size of a peanut right now, just this small.” Buck was telling Christopher excitedly, fingers an inch apart as he explained.
“Whoa! Was I ever that small, dad?” Chris asked, looking up at Eddie, struggling to wrap his mind around the idea. “Back when I was in your tummy?” He added, placing a hand on Eddie's stomach.
Eddie could hear the sharp intakes of breath from Chim and Buck, but he kept his eyes on Chris, placing a hand on top of his son’s and answering “Yeah bud, back when you were living right here.”
He forced himself to be brave then, taking a deep breath and holding on to his son’s hand, he looked up at the others. Maddie didn’t seem surprised, but somehow he had expected that. Both Chim and Buck though, they looked shocked.
Buck had his hand raised towards him as if he too was going to place it on Eddie's stomach.
“Chris, why don’t you come and look at the nursery with me, and help me pick out our wallpaper?” Maddie asked, leading Christopher away.
“I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you guys, for such a long time, I promise, I just…” Eddie sighed.
“It’s all good man, it’s your business,” Chim said, shaking off the surprise and giving him an easy smile “and we appreciate you sharing now, don’t we Buck?”
But Buck was still staring at Eddie in shock.
Buck POV
“What do we need him for anyway?” Buck ranted to his team, gesturing with his sandwich and sending a cucumber flying, taking his chance to complain once the new guy had finally wandered off, “We have enough alphas at this station!”
He couldn't understand what Bobby was thinking, the only reason he and Hen functioned this well was because her zone was the ambulance and his was the fire truck. He wasn’t sharing his fire truck, Buck thought petulantly.
“We don't know that he is an alpha, Buck. He doesn't really seem like one to me.” Hen said, amused.
“No?” Chim asked, deferring to Hen’s instincts, “Then what's got our Buck all twisted up and puffing then?”
“No idea”, said Hen, knowingly.
“And we don't need to know.” Bobby said, emerging from his office and giving them all a stern look as he walked past.
“Ten bucks he's an alpha.” Buck said under his breath to Hen, handing her the money under the table.
A few calls later, with Buck trying to prove himself and instead witnessing Eddie shine, Buck was no longer as sure about the newcomer being an alpha.
Eddie didn't rise to his challenges a single time, just seemed mildly amused, confused, or exasperated. Either he was the calmest most zen alpha Buck had ever met, or he had to be a beta.
Eddie being a beta made the most sense, everything pointed that way. No matter how long or sweaty their days got, there was never a whiff of alpha pheromones on him. Not that Buck was scenting him or anything. But you tended to notice each other's scents in such close quarters, that's all. Buck took the scent blocking on the job seriously, and he and Hen kept a blocker spray in the truck for those long and sweaty days, but Eddie had never seemed to need it, nor did he spray himself down in the locker rooms.
There really was no reason for Buck to think Eddie was anything other than a beta. Except. Some gnawing instinct that told him otherwise, something about Eddie that had made him want to impress him, and prove to him that he was capable. He still felt the urge to impress Eddie, despite them being friendly now, though the urgency had abated after that first shift. Now, ever since Eddie had started to let him in, told him about Christopher, he wanted to, not just impress Eddie, but help him, make life easier for him.
“It's almost like you want to prove to Eddie that you are strong and clever and capable of giving him a good life.” Maddie laughed, amused after having had to listen to him talk about Eddie yet another night.
“What? No!” Buck scoffed “Noo.” That was absolutely not the reason. Eddie was just stupidly perfect and competent and Buck had to keep proving to him that he was just as good. That was all.
“You are a great guy Evan, a great alpha.” Maddie said, eyes going distant, “You always want to help people around you, friends and strangers. But when you have a crush... you act a bit like an over excited puppy. You just want to impress them and help them and it's cute. And it seems to me like Eddie has been letting you.”
Buck sighed and leaned back, resting his head on the back of the couch and staring up at the ceiling. People always thought it was cute at first, but they tended to get sick of it fast. Calling him clingy or too much. He had thought maybe Abby would be the one, she’d been an omega and he thought, maybe that would make them compatible, maybe she would welcome all of him. But in the end she ran away just like everyone else.
“It’s okay to have a little crush, Evan. Even if it's just a friend crush.” Maddie continued, balancing a glass of wine against her knee as she turned to sit sideways on the couch “I want to see you happy.”
The following weeks were the best Buck had had on the 118 and in LA. Cap was happy with Athena, Hen seemed to be much more cheerful, Chim and Maddie were dating.
And then there was the Eddie of it all. He had somehow, despite Buck’s fears, slotted perfectly into their team dynamic, and filled a space Buck hadn’t even known had been empty. Buck felt calmer with Eddie there, more settled somehow. They were often paired up, and so if Buck did something impressive, he didn’t have to tell everyone while they rolled their eyes. Eddie was there to notice him, giving him a ‘nicely done Buck’, and a clap on the arm or a smile.
Eddie had been having his back loyally from that moment in the ambulance, as if their promise on that parking lot was just as binding to him as it was for Buck. Having a partner at work made Buck feel a bit more playful too, like he had someone just for him to joke and laugh with. He’d always been happy at the 118, but he had been treated as the kid, Hen and Chim both over ten years older than him and an established and experienced duo. Eddie, though, it was like Eddie was there just for him. He was only two years older, and though he could be a bit broody if you left him alone too long, Buck never had any issues getting him to smile or relax, or to pay attention to him.
Eddie still kept his distance from the team though, despite relaxing around Buck, a week in and they still didn’t really know much about him. Buck could tell that Eddie was rattled after the earthquake, stuck to his phone and looking almost panicked. Up until now, Eddie had been the picture of competence and cool under pressure, nothing the job or Buck had thrown at him so far had shaken him, but sitting in the truck following the earthquake, he looked scared.
“Who are you trying to get a hold off?” He asked, curious. They all had someone or someones, but Eddie looked the most shaken.
Eddie paused before answering, “My son. I’m trying to reach my son.”
“You got a kid?” Buck asked in surprise, and from the way he saw Bobby glance back, he knew none of them had known this.
“Christopher. He is seven.”
“Adorable. I love kids.”
“I love this one.” Buck could see that he did, love and worry visible in his eyes.
“I’m all he’s got. His other parent is not in the picture.”
Well, that was interesting. Probably Eddie just said that to explain why he wanted to reassure his kid that he was safe. But Buck made a mental note that ‘Eddie Diaz is single’ and filed it away for later. Not for any particular reason of course, just because the man was so tightlipped about himself that anything he shared was worth remembering.
The day was grueling, and there wasn’t much Buck could do to help Eddie, besides sharing safety information in an effort to soothe him.
Buck could tell Eddie wasn’t used to asking or getting help, or letting people in. But he hadn’t met anyone like Buck, and Buck was determined to know everything about Eddie Diaz.
He had not expected to be so blown away by what he learnt.
So, Eddie was an omega, that was no big deal. That was absolutely not a big deal at all and he was absolutely not making a big deal about it just like Eddie wished. It was fine! Buck thought hysterically, that Eddie is an omega. Buck was an enlightened alpha, his sister was an omega and she was one of the strongest people he knew, and so there was absolutely no reason for him to feel anything about the fact that Eddie was an omega.
For a moment Buck actually had worried about whether he was suffering from some outdated prejudice, since no one else seemed to have had a particularly strong reaction to this new fact about Eddie. But that didn’t make any sense, he had absolutely no issues with his partner being an omega. He knew better than anyone how capable Eddie was.
Maybe his strong reaction came from surprise, Buck pondered. He supposed that maybe some part of himself was still holding onto that first impression he’d had of Eddie, the man he thought was going to be his competition. Perhaps he had made some unconscious assumptions about Eddie. That must be why the information that Eddie was an omega felt like such earth shattering news to him. What else could it be?
So, even though he was totally and completely fine and cool about Eddie being an omega, he had perhaps. Potentially. Been a little weird about it during the past two shifts.
“Hey Eddie, grab me the hose. Not that you have to do what I say, because I’m an alpha and you are an omega, I would nev-”
“Get ready to lower me Eds. Of course, I absolutely know we could lower you, because you are very strong and capable and I don’t doubt that at all-”
Yeah.
It hadn’t been his best week.
Which is probably why, five hours into their third shift that week, Buck and Eddie found themselves stuck under a pile of rubble. And they had gotten there because Buck was so busy apologizing for having said ‘after you’ to Eddie that he missed one of the beams falling down. Eddie had had to tackle him so that he wouldn’t get crushed under it. But some of the wall and ceiling had come down on them anyway. Fortunately they were fine, unfortunately, they were stuck.
They weren’t in any real danger though, so they were stuck waiting for rescue while their team was busy evacuating and helping the people still in actual danger.
“So, still freaking out about me, huh?” Eddie asked, breaking the silence.
“I’m not freaking out!” Buck tried to deny, but Eddie silenced him with a glare. Fair.
“Okay, maybe I am a little. It just really surprised me, man.” Buck finally admitted.
“Is it really that… weird to you?” Eddie asked hesitantly, looking down at his hands, which were restlessly picking dirt off his turnout trousers, “Me being an omega.”
Eddie looked unsure and sad. And Buck was the reason for it.
“No!” Buck hurriedly said, feeling utterly shattered at the realization that his behavior had hurt his best friend “No Eds, never.”
“Then why have you…” Eddie trailed off, still not looking up at Buck. And Buck, he was starting to realise the he had really fucked this up.
“I honestly don’t know,” Buck confessed, “and I am really sorry. Maybe I thought I knew you so well, that this kinda threw me? It’s not an excuse, but I promise I’ll do better. And I swear that the only weird thing about you is that you eat the skin off kiwis.”
“Will you forgive me Eddie?”
After a few moments of silence Eddie finally looked up and turned to him “As long as you stop whatever it is that’s been going on, then we are cool. And while we are apologizing, I am sorry for not telling you sooner.”
“It’s alright man, it’s not like you had to,” Buck replied, “It’s no one's business but yours.”
“You are my best friend, Buck. I wanted to tell you, I didn’t want to hide this,” Eddie said, gesturing vaguely at himself, “about myself anymore, I was supposed to be brave, that was the deal I made with myself. I was gonna move here and be brave for Chris, but in the end I was just a fucking coward.”
“What? Eddie no,” Buck said urgently, hating the self-reproach in Eddie's voice, he bent forward to be able to look into Eddie’s eyes. “you are one of the strongest and bravest people I know, what are you talking about?”
“Things in El Paso weren’t good for me, Buck. I wanted LA to be a fresh start for me and Christopher. But I didn’t know how to be open about this part of me anymore. And so I just kept putting off telling you guys the truth, and I waited too long.”
“You shouldn’t need to be in any hurry,” Buck tried to reassure him, “I was just worried that maybe you didn’t trust me.”
“I trust you. Of course I trust you. I knew you and the crew wouldn’t treat me any differently.” Eddie said, causing Buck to wince at his failure to live up to Eddie’s expectations, “But. It wasn’t always easy being me, in my family, in my town growing up. Here I wanted to make something better, show Chris there is no shame in being different. But I think he has been better at showing me, honestly.”
“That’s because you already taught him that, Eds. You just have to let yourself learn too.”
“It’s hard, Buck. I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Start with me then, you never get to say it out loud, did you? Maybe just try that?”
“What, hello I’m Eddie I’m…?”
“Yeah, like that, come on Eddie. Hi, I’m Buck, I’m an alpha, I like the beach.” Buck smiled, moving his leg so he could bump it against Eddie’s in encouragement, and then leaving it there.
“And I’m Eddie” Eddie said with a quick smile, “and I’m an omega. I have this great kid that I gave birth to. And I feel ridiculous Buck, but. Thank you.”
They sat in silence a little while after that, but then Buck had to ask “How was it, having a kid?” It had been one of the thoughts that had been stuck ón a loop in his head. Eds, pregnant. Wondering how he would have looked. What his scent would have been like.
“Scary, so scary. Me and Shannon were nineteen, just kids ourselves. But,” Eddie paused, thumb rubbing against his stomach, probably unconsciously. “Chris growing in me, that was. That was special. He is the best thing in my life.”
“You ever think about having another kid?” Buck asked, softly.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“One day, If I’m lucky. Shannon didn’t want more kids, but I always did. Next time though, I would wanna be more prepared, and somewhere where I can be proud of it you know, not hidden away. But yeah, I’d love to give Chris some siblings one day.”
“I want that for you too,” Buck said softly, burning with a desire to make sure that all of Eddie's dreams came true for him.
And just like that, things went back to normal between them. The team's dynamics didn’t change after the reveal. And Eddie was just Eddie, same as he always had been, but a little lighter, a little quicker to smile.
It was just Buck that couldn’t seem to move on from this fact about his friend. It was there at the back of his mind when an alpha patient wouldn’t stop flirting with Eddie on a call, and Bobby had to shout at him twice to get him to leave and run to Hen’s side. It was there when he saw that Eddie had added another picture to his mantlepiece, one where you could just about tell that he was starting to show with Christopher. It was there when Buck did something for Eddie, no matter how small it was, like preparing his coffee, and Eddie paused for a moment and gave him a soft smile and a quiet thank you, and Buck felt like he had accomplished something great.
About two months after the news about Eddie had some out, Bobby marched a red faced Eddie from his office and towards the corner of the loft where the rest of the A shift had gathered, Chim and Buck playing a video game while Hen was texting Karen.
Buck had never seen Eddie look that uncomfortable and that red in the face. It was clear that Bobby’s hand on his shoulder was the only thing keeping him from bolting.
“Eddie here needs to take a bit of mandated medical leave,” Bobby started, since Eddie didn’t seem inclined to say anything.
“And he has a favour to ask,” Bobby said, giving Eddie a pat on his shoulder and releasing him.
“I can’t ask anyone to -” Eddie objected, turning away from the team and back towards Bobby.
Bobby placed his hands back on Eddie’s shoulders and turned him back around.
“Yes, you can.”
“Spill, Diaz. I was about to beat this guys ass on mario cart.” Chim demanded, snapping his fingers.
“I need to. Take some time off work. For at least five days, but I won’t be able to take care of Chris during that time, and I can’t really afford to pay Carla for that many hours. Which is why, it can wait another year -” Eddie started to say.
“Eddie needs to take this time off, it is mandated.” Bobby told the room, speaking over Eddie, “And it is fortunate for Eddie, that he has so many friends who would be glad to step in and help. Me and Athena for example would be delighted to have Chris over to keep Harry company.”
“Of course we want to help,” Hen said, not giving Eddie a chance to object, “Denny loved hanging out with Chris, we’d love to have him over for a few nights.”
“Sign me up for babysitting duties!” Chim chimed in.
“I’d love to spend some time with Chris, no one else wants to go to the zoo with me.” Buck added. “But are you okay Eddie?”
“I -,” Eddie seemed at a loss for words, “I can’t accept -”
“You can.” Bobby stated, “And you will. It’s settled. Let’s go back to my office and plan this, shall we?”
“Thank you.” Eddie said faintly, still looking a bit shocked.
“You know, Chris is way more fun than you to hang out with. Maybe it’s us that should say thank you,” Chim joked, though his voice was gentle.
Eddie seemed to appreciate the tension breaking, running a hand through his hair and giving Chim a grateful smile.
The alarm sounded before Eddie could say anything else or escape into Bobby’s office, and for a few hours they were all too busy to think or talk. But Buck couldn’t help but worry about what Bobby had said, about what would be bad enough to be keeping Eddie incapacitated for multiple days.
Buck finally managed to corner Eddie on his way to go to sleep in one of the bunks, grabbing him and dragging him away to a secluded corner.
“Eddie,” he asked quietly, “what's wrong? Are you sick? Of course I’ll hang out with Chris, but can I help you in any way?”
Eddie blushed to a deep scarlet at the question, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. “It’s nothing serious, I’ll be back to normal in no time.”
“Eddie, five days doesn’t sound like nothing. Talk to me, are you getting surgery? I can come by with food. You have friends that want to take care of Chris and you.” Buck implored, trying to look into his eyes as he spoke, but Eddie was refusing to maintain eye contact.
“Buck.” Eddie groaned, unwilling to continue.
“Eddie. I’m worried.” Buck wasn’t about to let his stubborn friend suffer alone if there was any way he could help.
“Okay fine!” Eddie whispered, “It is nothing serious. I just have to. Take time off.”
“Because…” Buck encouraged, lightly kicking his foot against Eddie’s.
“It’smyheat.” Eddie said in a mumble of words that Buck could not make out, looking utterly embarrassed.
“What?”
“Heat.” Eddie mumbled miserably.
“Heat? Oh! Oh, heat. Your heat.” Buck exclaimed, quieting down when Eddie punched his arm.
“Yeah.”
“That is… very natural.” Buck said dumbly. “Very, really, normal. Everyday stuff really!”
Eddie Diaz going into heat did not feel very everyday to Buck, if he was being honest.
“I know it’s natural,” Eddie pouted, “I definitely feel very normal about it.”
“Great!” Buck exclaimed, slightly manically. And a little too loudly based on the pillow Chim threw their way. “Because it is. So natural.”
“Right. Well. I’ll just go lie down then. Another one of those natural things I like to do.” Eddie mumbled, backing away quickly.
“Sure…” Buck replied faintly, waiting until Eddie had found a bed until he walked out of the sleeping area and into the gym. Suddenly he felt the need to blow off some steam.
Buck realized that maybe Eddie being an omega, and joining their team actually had changed them, and instead of the feared Buck had had that first shift, the change had been for the better. The realisation came after Eddie went and pulled a fucking spiderman stunt in Doheny Park, rescuing a kid alone, protecting him from both fire and water while Buck and the team stood outside, unable to help.
Back at the station Eddie followed them to the changing rooms, but it was clear he was bruised and exhausted, he would probably be sore and in pain for days from the water and ceiling that was dropped on him.
Eddie was trying to remove his turnout jacket, but clearly struggling. Hen looked at him over Eddie’s shoulder with a raised eyebrow, but when Buck just stared dumbly back, she rolled her eyes and went to Eddie.
Buck couldn’t hear what they said, their voices low, but a moment later Hen started to help Eddie remove his turnout gear.
“Buck,” Hen ordered, ”go get my medkit from the ambulance would you, I want to make sure our spiderman here is all good.”
Buck did as requested, but halted in the doorway on his return. Eddie was sat on the bench in a pair of soft sweatpants, and Hen was carefully removing Eddie’s wet shirt. Neither of them were talking, but he could hear Hen making soothing noises while she poked and prodded Eddie. The alphas tactics seemed to be working, Eddie was leaning towards her and almost closing his eyes.
It was far from protocol for an alpha to soothe someone like this on the job, particularly an omega. But while they for once had had a day that didn’t result in any tragedies, they'd both had an emotional day, Hen almost losing a mother earlier, Eddie’s physically taxing rescue.
They were drawing comfort from each other the way a pack would, Buck realized as he observed them. Buck had always wanted the 118 to be a pack, and now here he was, watching Hen care for Eddie in the same way he had seen her soothe Danny when he was upset, the deep rumblings from her chest calming Eddie, and in turn he could see her breathing in Eddie’s scent and drawing comfort from it. Maybe Eddie had been the last puzzle piece they’d needed.
Buck brought the medkit to Hen, and finished getting ready while she checked Eddie over, and when she was satisfied, she helped him into his hoodie. They had all been mostly silent the whole time, the only sounds in the locker room Hen’s murmurs and soothing rumbles, and Eddie’s occasional noises of affirmation or denial.
Eddie looked adorably sleepy when Buck finished and walked over to them, eyes half open and hair a fluffy mess.
“You think you can give Eddie here a ride home today?” Hen asked Buck.
“He doesn’t need to -,” Eddie’s objection was broken by a jawn, “I need to bring my car home. I’ll just grab some coffee before I go.”
“If you are sure. I need to head out now. I’ll see you guys in two days.” Hen replied, running a fond hand through Eddie’s hair before grabbing her bag and leaving.
Buck looked at Eddie swaying in his seat and smiled, “Let’s get some coffee in you.”
It was when he put a hand against Eddie’s lower back to steer him towards the kitchen, that he realized that he could scent Eddie. The sweat and water had wiped away the last remaining scent blocker, and Eddie had clearly been too tired to think about showering and reapplying.
Eddie's scent reminded him of spring, of fresh cut grass and flowers blooming. His scent drew Buck’s mind to Sundays spent in Eddie’s backyard, laughter, lemonade, family.
He couldn’t help closing his eyes for a moment and just taking it in.
When he came back to earth, he noticed Jones, the alpha from the B shift, giving them a curious look as they passed him. Buck promptly changed their direction, herding Eddie outside to where their cars stood parked right next to each other.
“Wait here,” He ordered and turned back inside, jogging up to the loft and pouring two cups of coffee. He hurried down while doing his best not to spill the hot drink on his hands, and found Eddie exactly where he had left him.
“Here,” he said, giving Eddie both cups while he opened the tailgate to Eddie’s truck.
Sitting down on the back of the truck, he took the cups while Eddie took his seat next to him, leaning against his shoulder.
Buck was growing fond of sleepy Eddie, he was very malleable, seemingly content to follow Buck’s lead. Sitting this close, Buck could scent Eddie with every breath he took. He fought against the urge to take over where Hen left off, and letting his body release soothing rumbles of its own, but he stopped himself. It felt different between them, when Hen soothed Eddie it was an elder pack mate (not that he would ever call her that to her face), and a committed one, comforting and drawing comfort, Buck wasn’t sure how Eddie would react to him doing the same. Besides, the purpose here was to wake Eddie up, so instead Buck gave him his coffee with a fond smile, reaching into his jacket pocket for the danish he had managed to smuggle out and handing it to Eddie.
Eddie put down his coffee and unwrapped the danish, pulling it in half and handing the other half to Buck with a smile. “Thank you.”
They sat there in silence, waking up and watching the sun rise over the firehouse.
The third time he saw Eddie’s gaze lingering on a mother’s day card was at the grocery store, and afterwards he pulled Christopher aside while Eddie went to select the produce for the night's dinner.
“Hey man, what do you think about getting Eddie a card for mothers day? I’ll help you buy it without him seeing,” He suggested in a conspiring voice , squatting down beside Chris and flipping through the grocery store's selection. He’d much rather get Eddie one of those nice cards that you had to go to a special store or something to buy. But he knew Eddie would prefer a card selected by his kid.
“Men can’t get mother’s day cards,” Chris replied, looking up at Buck in confusion.
“Who told you that?”
“Grandma said that, and that father’s day is for boys.”
Buck suspected as much, he knew that one of the reasons that Eddie brought him here was so that he wouldn't grow up with any of those prejudices. Buck wanted to gently correct Chris, but it didn’t feel like it was his place to do so.
“I got avocados, tomatoes, onions and garlic, the rest we have at home right?” Eddie said as he pushed his cart towards them, “What did you guys find?”
Buck couldn’t quite explain why he felt guilty at getting caught holding a stack of mother’s day cards, but he did. Seeing the wistful look in Eddie’s eyes and hearing his faint “oh”, before he covered it with a forced smile, Buck knew he had accidently stepped right into something that was painful to Eddie.
He thought about making up a lie, saying he was looking for a card to send to his mom, anything to get them past the moment, but he felt a little lost for words.
Fortunately, Chris seemed unaware of the tension, and having reviewed the cart he said “Dad, you haven’t gotten the cereal!”
“Right you are mijo,” Eddie said with a distracted smile, leading the way towards the cereal aisle.
Later, when Chris was asleep and the dishes had been put away, Buck couldn’t help running through their earlier interaction. His eyes were tracking Eddie as he was cleaning up, while pretending to be caught up on whatever was playing on the TV.
“Eddie?”
“You want a beer?” Eddie asked.
“Sure, Eds. On the patio?”
If Buck stayed inside much longer, he would need to reapply the minty scent blocking balm if he wanted to stay clear headed, but he really didn’t want to, he hated blocking out Eddie’s scent. It wasn’t that he feared losing control, never, but he did find it hard to focus on anything other than Eds and his scent, which didn’t make for a good dinner guest.
Eddie still didn’t leave his house without dousing himself in scent blocking spray, sometimes Buck would get a whiff of his scent, at work, in the gym, and he’d breath it in, savor it. But at the Diaz house? In the relatively short amount of time that Eddie had been off the scent blockers (something about side effects that he hadn’t elaborated on), his scent had made a home. Buck could get high off it, would spend a day alone here and just breathe it in if he could.
“Grab the beers and I’ll get us some blankets?” Eddie asked, looking satisfied at his clean kitchen before venturing to the hallway.
Buck did as requested, grabbing their drinks and making his way outside, getting comfortable while he waited for Eddie.
He heard the door open and watched as Eddie sat down next to him on the patio swing. He looked a little pink, hugging both blankets to his chest.
“You planning on sharing those?” Buck asked, amused.
“I haven’t bought any new ones, I forgot, and I used all of ours for- '' the end of Eddie's sentence was mumbled into the blankets.
“For what man, did you spill something?” Buck asked with a laugh.
“My nest,” Eddie mumbled, red in the face, and then practically threw one of the blankets on Buck’s lap.
Fuck.
“Eds,” Buck murmured, shocked, “you don't have to…” share your nest with me.
“Please, I don’t want you to be cold.” Eddie said, gaze not quite meeting Buck’s, “Please take it.”
“Thank you,” Buck said faintly, biting his tongue so that he wouldn’t finish the sentence with omega.
Buck knew Eddie had been raised by Beta’s and not been encouraged to research omega history, so he didn’t think Eddie knew quite what he was doing, offering an alpha something from his nest.
But Buck had spent quite a bit of his adolescence researching alphas and omegas, their history, and historical courting rituals. Alphas, who gave omegas items smelling like them, so they could be put in the omegas nest, reminding the omega of their presence. Omegas who gave their suitors a piece of cloth from their nest, to let them know they would be welcome there. Buck’s scent would stay on this blanket. Would Eddie wash it, or put it back in his nest, smelling of Buck? Would it still smell like Buck in a few weeks' time when Eddie’s heat came.
Buck shook his head, Eddie probably just ran out of blankets, that's all, he sternly told himself.
Taking a deep drink from his beer, it took Buck a few moments to recall what he had wanted to talk about.
“Chris calls you dad,” Buck started, a bit hesitant, “I assumed that was your choice, but I’m getting the feeling that it wasn’t.”
“I wasn't there, Buck. I don’t get to choose.” Eddie said, sounding resigned.
“Bullshit.” Buck replied, “Of course you do!”
“It's too late anyhow.” Eddie said, staring out into the yard, from the way his shoulders slumped and his scent turned muted, Buck could tell he was upset. “That's all Chris remembers, and I don’t want to confuse him.”
“Hey, I’m sorry for bringing it up.” Buck murmured, reaching out to grab Eddie's shoulder, “I don’t want to upset you.”
“You just asked a question, don’t apologize.” Eddie replied softly, “I’m happy to be called dad, that kid could call me anything and I’d be over the moon.”
“But…”
“But no, it isn’t what I would have chosen.” Eddie sighed, “But I wasn’t there when he started talking, Buck. I missed so much. And when I got back home, there was all the rehab, and work, and my parents spent more time with Chris than I did, and I just didn’t have it in me to fight about this too.”
“If you talked to Chris,” Buck tried, “it doesn’t have to be about what he calls you, could just be about celebrating mother’s day with you, you know he would be onboard. He is a great kid.”
“He really is.” Eddie smiled softly, “But I don’t know. I don’t know, it’s just always been like this and I’m fine. Really.”
“If you say so Eds,” Buck replied, deciding to stop pushing for now, “I just want more for you than just fine. I know you want everyone to treat you just as if you were a beta at work. And you should be treated with respect, you are amazing Eddie, but you shouldn’t need to hide parts of yourself to get that respect.”
“It’s not that easy, Buck.”
“I know it isn’t, and I get that that's easy for me to say when I don’t have to go through it. But Eddie, you deserve to have a life outside work too. And you are allowed to want things, to be yourself. That's why you came to LA isn’t it?”
“I do like how I'm treated at work, like everyone else, like a beta. But.” Eddie said.
“But you are not a beta.” Buck encouraged.
“No. I’m not.”
“There is no shame in what you want, Eddie, in who you are.” Buck told him, softly.
Eddie sat in silence for so long that Buck was completely caught off guard when Eddie let out a sob.
“Fuck.” Eddie sobbed, “Oh, fuck” Tears were streaming down his face, quite clearly against his will, at first Eddie tried to pushing his hands firmly against his eyes as if that would stop the tears, but when that didn’t work he drew up his knees up and hid his face from view. “This is such a stupid thing to cry about!”
Buck moved quickly, drawing Eddie against his chest, wrapping his arms around Eddie and moving a hand soothingly up and down his back. Slowly Eddie's sobbing subsided, and his breathing slowed down to match Buck’s.
They sat like that for a while longer, until Eddie wiped his face on his blanket and sat up straight, moving out of Buck's embrace but not away from Buck, leaning his head against Buck’s shoulder. They stayed like that until Eddie started to fall asleep, at which point Buck gathered both blankets and herded Eddie inside. Eddie was already in sweats and a soft t-shirt, so Buck walked with him towards his bedroom, stopping at the open doorway.
“So that was embarrassing,” Eddie mumbled, “I’m sorry for breaking down like that, I don’t really know where that came from.”
Eddie took the blankets from Buck, hugging them to his chest and drawing in a deep breath. And Buck figured it was probably his wistful thinking, but it looked almost like Eddie was breathing in his scent from the blanket. He wished he could tuck Eddie into his nest, place his blanket next to Eddie's pillow, so that he would breathe in Buck’s scent all night. Hell, if he was allowed, he would walk naked to his car and leave everything that had his scent right here with Eddie, if he thought it would help him feel comforted.
“Don’t be sorry,” Buck whispered, placing a hand on Eddie’s neck, his thumb moving softly against his clavicle, just an inch or so below where his scent gland was, watching as Eddi’s eyes fluttered shut briefly at the touch.
He barely had it in him to walk away from Eddie when he was looking so vulnerable. But he had to, so he closed his eyes and held his breath, and took a step backwards, then another. “Good night Eds.”
“Good night, Buck.” Eddie whispered from his bedroom doorway.