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The first time it happens, Shadow is annoyed. At least, at first.
Shadow hadn’t been expecting Rouge to come barging into the apartment, wearing her old heart shaped chest plate, having clearly been out searching for something. She seemed upset.
“Rouge, what-“
”What happened between you and Sonic that day?” Rouge interrupted. It stopped Shadow short.
“What do you mean?”
”The day we fought Eggman over that strange crystal thing. You- you carried him in limping, and you said he was sick. Well I call bullshit!” She claimed, getting closer. Shadows eyes widened.
”I did nothing to him. Why? What happened?” He asked. He had a terrible feeling that something was wrong.
”He’s gone off the grid! He came and spoke to all of us a couple of days ago, said he wanted to catch up. But everybody agreed that he’d been acting weird, and nobody has seen him since!” Rouge said, worry slipping into her tone, “he won’t answer his communicator!”
Sonic was gone. After all they’d done, he’d just… gotten up and left? With no warning?
Perhaps, if Shadow was honest with himself. But there was good reason. He knew it.
”What does this have to do with me?” He asked, skeptical. He knows that even Rouge had found it shocking when she witnessed Shadow pick up the blue blur in his arms, both of them melding together seamlessly. But he’d thought she would leave it alone. But he knew now she was expecting something of him.
“You’ve both been acting weird since that day. Something happened. Something big. It takes a lot to wear either of you out, and you both looked exhausted. If you don’t want to tell me, fine. Don’t. But you know what’s going on. And you’re going to help with whatever it is.”
Shadow narrowed his eyes. Rouge stood her ground. They didn’t usually clash, but Rouge was so dead set that Shadow had something to do with Sonic’s disappearance that it made him a little upset.
”I didn’t do anything to him.”
“Then find him, Shadow.”
At first, he had no idea where to start. He checked all the spots Sonic liked to frequent, even going back to old battlefields. Eventually, he settled on a simple text through the communicator, not expecting much to come out of it.
‘Tell me where you are.’
He was surprised when almost immediately, there was a reply. As if Sonic had been waiting for him.
All he sent was a set of coordinates.
Shadow found him ten minutes later, hiding in the clearing of a forest Shadow doesn’t remember the name of, thousands of miles away. There was still scorch marks from earlier battles here, but there was also new ones. Shadow took a second to soak in the sight.
Sonic looked terrible, and that was putting it nicely.
His quills were bent and broken, his body bloody and bruised. He looked feral as he slammed into a tree, taking it down with one blow. Shadow watched as he caused more destruction in mere seconds than any machine could ever hope to accomplish.
He was also crying.
At this point, Shadow had seen Sonic cry a few times. Each time, though, it made his heart drop.
Shadow took a step forward, making himself known. Sonic stared directly at him, hackles raised. Shadow moved cautiously. Sonic’s quills, despite being in complete disarray, could still be deadly. Or, at least, really fucking painful for Shadow. He needed to be careful.
”Your friends are worried about you.” Shadow had expected some sort of reaction. A worried look. A wince.
He got none of it. Sonic, for once in his life, was scowling. Shadow hated it.
”Tell ‘em ‘m fine. I can’t go home right now,” Sonic said. His voice was rough, like he’d been screaming. It took Shadow by surprise. Can’t go home? Wasn’t the whole point of their latest conundrum to go home? It made Shadow’s blood boil.
”What the fuck are you talking about? That was the whole damn goal!” He shouted, loosing his temper. Where the hell had Sonic gotten that idea from? He stepped forward as he said it, farther into the clearing. He stopped when he saw his quills flare even more. Sonic was backing away.
”Sonic, are you-“ He tried stepping towards him once more, but froze when he heard the low growl coming out of the hedgehog’s throat. Shadow‘s eyes widened in surprise. Sonic never growled. He put his hands up in surrender. This needed to be handled delicately, and he hadn’t been doing so.
“Okay, okay. I’m backing away,” Shadow said, taking a few steps backwards, keeping his hands in the air. It seemed to put Sonic at ease, and Shadow needed that right now.
”I just wanted to make sure you were okay. They’ve been looking for you. They’re worried,” Shadow said again. He was worried too. He knew Sonic knew that.
”’M fine,” Sonic insisted, looking at the ground beneath him.
“But you aren’t fine. You and I both know you aren’t. And it’s okay. But you can’t just hide from everyone-“
”I can,” Sonic snapped. There was a bite in his tone that Shadow wasn’t used to.
“I have been. Nobody coulda found me. You’re here ‘cause I gave ya my location,” Sonic nearly snarled, adjusting into a defensive pose.
And then Shadow knew. Sonic didn’t want anybody else to see him right now because they didn’t understand.
But he knew Shadow did.
The obsidian hedgehog held a breath at the realization. Sonic had let himself be found. Sonic had wanted Shadow to find him.
And he had. Because Shadow understood. He always had.
Shadow, at the end of the day, matched him in nearly every aspect. He held the speed, sure, but it was more than that. It was the responsibility that came with that speed. Neither of them could’ve been anything different than what they are now, because neither of them had a choice.
And now, they were bonded through an adventure only they experienced. A power only they had. A trauma only they knew. They had lived and fought over the fate of the universe, the fate of their friends, the fate of each other, and they were the only ones who knew it. Sonic had wanted him to find him because he was the only one who could possibly fathom how badly it was affecting him.
Because it had affected Shadow too. A race against time, any slower and Sonic would’ve disintegrated in his arms. Shadow sometimes lay awake at night, wondering what would’ve happened if he’d been a second slower. If he hadn’t been there. If the gateway hadn’t let him through.
Sonic would’ve died. And it would’ve been Shadow’s fault.
”You wanted me to be here.” Sonic looked up at him, eyes wide as if surprised. They both knew he wasn’t.
”If you didn’t want to be found, I wouldn’t have found you. But I’m here. Why?” Shadow asked. He’s pretty sure he knows why. He can almost feel the itch beneath Sonic’s skin, the voice in his head that’s screaming “fight!”
Sonic’s ears pinned back again. He began to shake.
”Fight me,” he said, raising his fists. Shadow sighed, like it was something that bothered him. It didn’t, he could feel the itch too, could hear the voice, too, was almost shaking with the want, but-
“Sonic, that isn’t healthy.“
”Shadow please. I can’t- I need it. Please.” The desperate tone in the hedgehog’s voice had Shadow raising his fists without a second thought. He knew Sonic. Fighting was the only way he could let his emotions out without, for lack of a better term, shattering.
Sonic grinned, something sharp, something cold, before lunging forward. Shadow knew right then that there were no limits to this fight. This was something untamed, something jagged and broken. Messy.
They’d only fought like this twice before, a time Shadow had been going through a rough patch of nightmares and couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the forest without bruises on his arms and legs from Sonic’s own. Shadow had been, for once, infinitely grateful that Sonic had beat his ass. Shadow knew Sonic was after the same.
He grabbed Sonic by the arm, swinging him around until finally tossing him into a tree, which he nearly uprooted. Sonic payed no mind, immediately rushing Shadow, catching the fist that had been flying towards his face before attempting an uppercut.
Shadow predicted this, jumping back before rolling into a ball and spin-dashing, bouncing off a tree before hitting Sonic in the back.
This fight went on for much longer than they usually did. One of them usually made the call when it was too much, but neither of them had, despite being way past the point of being able to move without wincing tomorrow. Shadow knew Sonic was relishing the thought.
Shadow knew this was unhealthy, too. In the back of his mind, he didn’t care. He was enjoying the burning ache of his muscles just as much as Sonic was. Fights like these were his favorite, dirty and dangerous. Shadow knew Sonic was after the exhaustion more than the pain itself.
Sonic had been put on the defensive quickly, and hadn’t particularly tried to change that. Shadow kicked him, hard enough that he heard something crack deep within the organic hedgehog’s body. He didn’t care. He knew it could be fixed, and it didn’t slow Sonic down.
Sonic was attempting to put a bit of effort in, knowing Shadow wanted something to walk away with. He healed quicker than any organic being, and as such, it was extremely hard to mark him.
But Sonic had managed to do it every time.
Just then, Sonic landed a forcible punch to his muzzle, and Shadow knew that’s what was sticking as he heard his nose crunch and smelled the rich iron of his own blood. Neither of them flinched.
Shadow moved to pin Sonic to the ground, sweeping a leg underneath his counterpart, knocking him over. He was quick to wrap a hand around the thrashing hedgehog’s throat.
”Had enough?” Shadow panted. Sonic continued to thrash, before having seemingly gotten an idea. He grinned that sharp smile again and proceeded to bite him.
Shadow yelped. He hadn’t been expecting that. They’d never progressed to the point of using their teeth or claws.
They fought for the better part of an hour. In fact, they only stopped when Shadow had landed a particularly hard punch to a peach gut, which resulted in Sonic vomiting stomach acid and blood.
The hero had tried to refuse the Chaos healing, but one look at the blood dripping from his mouth had Shadow holding him down. His natural Chaos Energy put up one hell of a fight, actually managing to burn Shadow, causing him to drop the Emerald and let go of Sonic. The hedgehog was on his feet in milliseconds, a low, bubbly growl leaking past the blood filling his mouth for the second time that night.
“Calm down, you feral bastard. I only want to reverse the internal bleeding,” Shadow insisted. In truth, he wanted to do much more than that, but he would never dream of it, for fear of risking fights like these. It took a bit more coaxing, but eventually Sonic was no longer hacking up blood. Thank Chaos.
They both lay in the center of the clearing, the sun having long set. They said nothing, the only sounds they could hear coming from the forest or each other’s breath.
Shadow could practically count Sonic’s thinking as one of the things he could hear, with how loudly he was doing it.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you put so much effort into a thought before, faker,” he said, breaking the silence. He hadn’t meant for it to be an insult, but it came out of his mouth a lot harsher than he meant it to.
“Yeah. Well. Get used t’ it. I’m supposed t’ be doin’ it a lot more often,” Sonic said, voice sounding dead. He sounded like Shadow, and the obsidian hedgehog hated it. He said nothing, though. If Sonic felt comfortable enough not to fake his own emotions, Shadow wasn’t going to put an end to it.
Sonic thinking wasn’t the only thing that was increasing in frequency lately.
Sonic had returned back to his friends, much to their delight. When Shadow had finally returned to his own home, he did his best to ignore the knowing look on Rouge’s face.
It'd been about two weeks since their most recent fight. It had happened two more times since the first time. Shadow, once again, had been caught off guard when he’d gotten the message. He’d seen the newest fight between Sonic and Eggman on the news, and had seen that Sonic had healed from Shadow’s recent brutal attacks quite nicely. Shadow had as well, the only thing lingering being the fading bite mark above the cuff of his glove. He had made sure not to heal that when trying to fix his broken nose. He’d decided he’d rather deal with Rouge’s relentless teasing rather than her relentless insistence he go to the hospital.
Still, though, he was surprised to watch as Sonic typed something on his communicator while the interviewer tried to ask him some strange question. He was even more surprised to feel his own communicator ding.
”Uh huh. Yeah. Well, sorry lady, but I gotta speed,” Sonic said on the TV. With that, he was gone.
“What do you think that was about, hun?” Rouge asked, looking at the TV in confusion. Sonic was never particularly nice to interviewers, but he never ran out on them. Shadow didn’t answer.
“[SONIC] SEEMED TO BE IN A HURRY. PERHAPS HE IS MEETING WITH SOMEBODY,” Omega said. Shadow checked the message, confused. That confusion quickly melted away when he saw another set of coordinates.
“I’ve got to go. I’ll be home later,” he said, pulling on his Air Shoes. Rouge looked at him strangely.
”Again? This is like, the fourth time you’ve just ran off somewhere. Honestly, if you come home beat up again, I’m going to follow you-“
“Don’t,” Shadow nearly snarled, glaring at Rouge. He felt a little bad, but under no circumstances could Rouge find out what he and Sonic had been doing. Rouge gave him a bewildered look.
He sped off to the bathroom before she could say anything.
”WELL. HE’S CERTAINLY PRICKLY ABOUT THAT ONE.”
When he got there, Sonic was already waiting. This area was closer, but still far from risking anybody finding them. This time, Sonic wasted no time, throwing a punch hard enough that Shadow’s jaw popped. They fought for a little under an hour, after that. Sonic kept trying to push harder, but-
”Damn it- fuck!” Sonic hissed, feeling Shadow scratch down his leg. But not enough to spill blood.
”Fight me, damnit! Ya fought me before, why won’t ya-“ Sonic had began cursing the more pissed off he got. He usually didn’t do it at all, but it was only him and Shadow here now.
Sonic threw a kick at Shadow’s head. Luckily, Sonic was becoming unsure of himself, erratic. Shadow caught it easily.
”I’m sorry. I don’t-“ he pushed Sonic back to the ground, pinning him with his weight, sitting on his chest. Sonic tried to kick up, but couldn’t reach.
”I don’t have the Chaos Emerald. I won’t be able to heal you at all if I cause any substantial damage,” Shadow said. It seemed to slow Sonic down. He panted for a minute. Neither of them said anything.
Sonic began to shake.
”Shadow, I-“ Sonic started. Shadow didn’t rush. He knew that if he sat here long enough, Sonic would tell him what was going on.
”It hurts, man. Everythin’ hurts. But it doesn’t actually hurt- it j’s… aches. I can feel it, but I know ‘s not really there,” Sonic said after a second, and Shadow knew he was trying his hardest to keep his voice level.
“’S not there. I can feel it, but ’s not there. I can feel them, and they ain’t there. ‘S like I can still feel the static under my skin. I don’t know if they still exist, or if they were ever real in the first place,” Sonic said, looking at the sky.
”I don’t know what woulda happened if I’d really died that day. If Tails ‘n the others woulda been able to cross between the universes, or if they’da crumbled with me.”
”You didn’t die. You’re here. I’m here. And I remember, Sonic. Damnit, don’t forget. I’m still here,” Shadow said fiercely. He needed Sonic to know. He needed Sonic to listen.
Sonic’s trembling got worse. he brought a hand to cover his mouth.
”Fuck, Shads. I dunno if I can do this,” Sonic said, mumbled. Shadow made an agitated noise.
”You can. You have to,” he insisted. They knew he did. Sonic didn’t have a choice.
”I know. And ’s why it sucks so hard. There’s nobody that knows exactly what was happenin’, except-“
”Except me,” Shadow finished. He wasn’t hurt. He knew Sonic wanted to tell the rest of his friends, could see it eating away at him. He also knew that if it wasn’t for Shadow himself, Sonic would’ve cracked by now.
”Yeah. ‘cept you. I thank Gaia for you, ya know. I don’t think anybody else would get it, the way you do. Even if they’da been there.”
Shadow felt his ears perk at the praise. It wasn’t often they gave each other sincere compliments, especially lately. They’d been taking harsh jabs at each other for weeks, the tension between them building. But now, Shadow could feel it dissolving.
”Well. I am the Ultimate Lifeform,” Shadow said, watching as Sonic rolled his eyes, “but… I’m glad you were there, too. If you hadn’t been, I’d probably still be lost in the void. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it,” he said, honestly. Shadow probably would’ve gone insane by now, actually.
”I think it was meant to be that way. You and me. Without each other, we’d probably both be dead. But we aren’t,” Shadow said. He was never one to believe in things like fate or destiny, but sometimes things worked out too perfectly for anything else to be the answer. Sonic nodded.
Shadow hauled himself to his feet, before picking Sonic up. Sonic didn’t bother to resist, trusting whatever Shadow was trying to accomplish. The obsidian hedgehog placed him next to a tree stump, allowing him to lean on it. He kneeled in front of him.
“Shadow, whaddaya doin’-“
”Stop. I shouldn’t be letting you go home without patching you up, first. Even if you won’t let me heal you completely,” Shadow said. He’d lied, earlier. He had the Chaos Emerald. But whether or not they both looked forward to these meetings, they were still unhealthy. They needed to stop, and the first step to that is letting up.
They sat in silence for a while, Shadow methodically placing bandages and wiping Sonic down with bacterial wipes. They sat there so long, in fact, that when Shadow finally looked back up, he found Sonic had actually fallen asleep. He resisted the urge to smirk. He picked the dozing hedgehog up once more, ignoring how comfortable he was becoming doing so.
”Chaos Control!”
”Not a word,” Shadow hissed, grimacing. Rouge smiled smugly.
They’d landed in the living room. He had tried to land in his bedroom, but the fight had worn him out. He was just a little off, to his utter frustration.
”My my, handsome. What do we have here?” Rouge asked, devious smile threatening to split her muzzle.
”I said, not a-“
“IT SEEMS THAT BOTH OF YOU ARE HARMED. ARE YOU IN NEED OF ANY ASSISTANCE?” Omega said. Shadow could do nothing as Sonic jumped up, landing on the back of Rouge’s uncomfortable leather couch. Shadow cringed.
”Where the hell am I?” Sonic demanded, seemingly not actually recognizing any of the faces that were staring at him.
”Sonic, honey, it’s okay. You’re in our apartment,” Rouge said reassuringly. Sonic stared at her for a second, trying to register what she’d said.
”I’m… ‘n your apartment? How the he- er. How’d I get here?” Sonic asked, tunnel vision on Rouge. His quills relaxed a little, but not by much.
”I brought you here. You fell asleep, after-“ Shadow cut himself off, ignoring the inquisitive look Rouge had on her face. Sonic looked at him, as if seeing him for the first time.
”Oh. Yeah. Right. Uh…” Sonic said, suddenly feeling his tiredness creep back up on him.
“Come on. I hadn’t meant to wake you, but unfortunately, Omega can’t help how loud he is,” Shadow said, gesturing Sonic forward. The hedgehog obliged, hopping off the couch where he’d been crouched defensively. Shadow grabbed his hand, pulling him deeper into the house.
Both of them ignored the way Rouge giggled.
Sonic sat in Shadow’s room, looking around. Shadow found himself wishing that there a little more to look at, the only furniture in the room being the bed itself, the nightstand, and an empty dresser. Rouge had tried to get him to decorate it, but he’d refused, saying that bright decor gave him headaches.
“So… I, uh. ‘M sorry for conking out on ya. I’ll get outta your quills now, if ya want-“ Sonic said, moving to stand. Shadow pushed him back down.
”Sleep, hedgehog. You need it. This room is soundproof, you won’t hear them. I’ll be here when you wake,” Shadow insisted. Sonic’s ears pinned back in embarrassment.
“…Thanks, Shads. I appreciate it. But, I mean- ’s a little awkward with you j’s standin’ there. There’s not even a chair in here, man,” Sonic chuckled. Shadow crossed his arms, humming in acknowledgment.
”If you want, I can leave. It makes no difference,” he said, closing his eyes. Sonic choked.
”Wha- no! Shads, ‘m not gonna kick ya out of your own room,” Sonic said. Shadow opened his eyes again, seeing Sonic waving his arms in front of him.
”I just offered. You wouldn’t be kicked me out, you would be agreeing with me,” Shadow said. He resisted the urge to smile at Sonic’s nervous antics.
“When have we ever agreed on anything?”
”Fair,” he said. uncrossing his arms. He flexed his fingers.
”Well then, hero, what do you suppose we do?” Shadow asked. Sonic squeaked, and Shadow stared at him in confusion as his muzzle lit up.
”Er- well, I was kinda thinkin’… ya could stay in the bed with me…? Only if ya want, ‘course! I mean, I wouldn’t want t’ make ya uncomfortable. You’ve been real patient with me lately, but I know you’re as worn out ‘s I am. I don’t mind if ya say no, oh man I need to stop talking, why am I still-“
Shadow let out a low chuckle that stopped Sonic in his tracks. The blue hedgehog stared up at him with a nervous smile.
”As you wish, hedgehog,” Shadow said. In a flash, he was next to Sonic on the bed. Shadow was thrown back to the day they came home, falling asleep in Sonic’s dumb race car bed.
He wondered if this was going to become a common occurrence. He decided he wouldn’t mind.
Times like these, he was grateful he lived this life. He knew that usually, Sonic was too. Shadow thinks Sonic was always going to be Sonic. How could he be anything else?
Sonic was always meant to be the hero. They didn’t have bad lives, really. But they were hard lives. They both knew that. They wouldn’t trade it for the world. Good lives make terrible stories, Sonic would say.
”Thank you, Shadow. Heh, if it wasn’t for you, I think I’d have to actually invest in a punching bag or somethin’. Yuck,” Sonic joked tiredly. Shadow didn’t bother to suppress a small smile.
”Hah. I’m better than any cheap punching bag,” he said smugly. He softened.
”You can text me when you need it, you know.”
”Likewise.”