Chapter Text
I. Accidental parenthood
“Come again?”
The transmission must have been messed up for a moment there because Barry could swear he just heard Hal Jordan of all people having a small – no make that big – panic attack because someone left a baby on his doorstep.
“I said“ Hal answered in a stressed out voice. “Someone left a baby on my doorstep.”
Okay, so he had heard that right the first time around. That still didn't explain why the universe itself hadn't just collapsed in this strange paradox of Hal suddenly being a father.
“Is it still alive?”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy.” Hal sounded a bit hurt on the other side of the line. “You hurt my manly feelings. All one of them.”
“I’ll be there in a sec.”
Only 5 seconds later, Barry stood next to his best friend and smiled at the little blue bundle of joy in Hal’s arms.
“The ring said she’s Asari. But it couldn't tell me how she got here.”
The little alien girl opened it’s big blue eyes and smiled back at them.
“I think she likes us.”
“Stop it Barry.” Hal growled at him. He had just joked about it with Wally a few weeks ago. Why did this have to happen to him all the time?
“But look at her, Hal.” He waggled his fingers at her and lost his heart to her right then and there when she gripped one of his fingers with her tiny blue hand.
“Barry!”
“I think we should name her Liara.”
II. Virgin
“You’re what?” Hal let out a surprised noise. “Barry, you’re 33. How can you still be –“
“Yes, I’m a virgin! Thanks for letting me know how much of a joke that is.”
Barry really wanted to get out of here. Out of this situation. Out of Hal’s bedroom. This had been a giant mistake. He’d thought Hal would never laugh at him. Not now when he was finally comfortable enough with them to even contemplate having sex. Sex kind of scared him. Not the fact that he could maybe catch something if he wasn’t careful enough but the fact that everyone made such a big deal out of it. Since he was 15, Barry had that strange idea in his head that sex had to be perfect or he had failed. When he grew up, he noticed how ridiculous that idea was but the anxiety concerning him having sex stuck. Hal was the first person he actually felt at ease with when he thought about having sex. That’s why his reaction hurt so much when Barry admitted to still being a virgin.
“Yeah, I don’t have a super model face like you, Hal. You’re only the third relationship I’ve managed to have in my entire life!”
Instead of storming out as he had intended to do, Barry sunk powerlessly into the mattress under him and turned his face away from Hal.
“I’m sorry.” Hal began to gently run his fingers through his lover’s short blond hair. “I was just surprised.”
Barry could feel Hal nuzzling his neck and placing soft kisses just under his hairline.
“There’s nothing bad about it. Everyone has their own pace.” Another soft kiss right under his right ear. “I’m just an asshole.” A nip at his ear shell. “And really. ‘Only the third’? You planning on using me for my body and then throw me away for someone else?”
Barry couldn't help but smile at Hal being Hal.
“You’re such an idiot.”
III. Pretending to be married
“So, why am I your fiancé again?”
Barry groaned and dragged an obviously amused Hal over to the booth where Barry’s co-workers sat.
“Because Sally kept asking me for a date even though I told her I wasn't interested and people kept pushing me into it. So I panicked and yelled that I had a fiancé.”
He really wanted to run the other way, preferable at Flash speed. This was going to blow up in his face. He just knew it. Hal wouldn't be able to control himself and start flirting with one of his co-workers. Why hadn't he just given in to this damn date?
“Barry?”
He turned his head and was greeted with soft, warm lips on his own.
“Calm down. I’m with you. I won’t let you down.”
Hal interlaced his fingers with Barry’s and this time it was Barry who was dragged along.