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Alan climbed into the car at Cauldron Lake, closing the door after he'd slipped into the driver's seat. He gripped the steering wheel, just taking a minute to take stock.
How had things gone so horribly wrong? How could he have not sensed the Dark Presence within him? He was Scratch. Scratch was him. All of the things he was trying to prevent, he made come to pass without even knowing he was doing it. How many times had he gone through this loop? Fighting against himself to get out of the dark place, only to die by his own hand? And then forgetting and starting the whole thing over again?
He slammed his hands against the steering wheel and cried out in frustration. This wasn't what he had wanted. He'd just wanted to escape, to get back to his life before all of this. To escape the endless torture he'd been enduring for years. He'd wanted to save Alice, but all he'd done is driven her to her death. It was easy to blame the Dark Presence for all of this horror, but to know that he had a hand in it was almost too much to stomach. His own weakness had allowed the Dark Presence to hurt those that he loved, drawn to the darkness within himself. It was tempting to just turn on this car and start driving as far away from Cauldron Lake as possible. He knew he couldn't actually do that, but that nagging desire was in the back of his mind.
He'd told the agent from the FBC that he was going to try to fix this, and that was what he was going to do. He was the only one left that could. He wasn't confident he could undo the damage he'd done, but he was going to try.
He looked down, and thankfully Saga had the presence of mind to leave the keys in the ignition. Maybe she knew there was a chance she wouldn't be the one driving back to Bright Falls. He appreciated her foresight, whatever the reason for it.
Alan started the car, ready to make the trip to Bright Falls to finish this. He'd brought the Dark Presence back into this world, so he needed to be the one to return it where it belonged. He was terrified to go back there being this close to freedom, but he couldn't let the world burn for his selfish desire to escape. And it wasn't like he had much left out here to come back to anymore...
If his life was the sacrifice needed to save the world, he could live with that.
He laughed sourly at the irony of that thought. If he lived. He didn't know if he would, but also wasn't sure if he could die in the Dark Place. He was pretty sure he tried to end it all more than once while trapped, but the Dark Presence had prevented it. Part of him hoped for the rest that death would bring. There were things worse than death, and he knew them well.
Alan looked down at the center console to put the car in reverse to back out of the parking lot and head to Bright Falls when he spotted a cell phone in one of the cupholders. He picked it up and the screen lit up with a picture of Alex Casey and a woman he didn't recognize. It was Casey's phone. He touched the screen and a request for a password came up. He thought back to his character in his books, how his writing had turned a real person into a version of his character. He typed in Alex Casey's wedding date to his ex-wife that he'd always had in the back of his brain, remembering it from one of his storyboards, and was only a little surprised when the phone unlocked.
This was some trippy shit. Alex Casey wasn't his creation, but how far did his influence go with his writing? How many other lives had he influenced or ruined without knowing it?
His mind went back to Alice...
No. He couldn't go down that path right now.
As he dialed a number he had memorized from years ago, he took a moment to hope it hadn't changed. It had been thirteen years after all. The phone rang, and Alan suddenly panicked about what he was going to say. What could he possibly say? How was he going to explain what was happening to him? And was it even right for him to do this? Reaching out would probably just put another person in danger. He wanted someone to know what was really happening here. Someone he could trust. But he didn't want to put him in danger. He'd already ruined so many other lives, he didn't want to drag someone else down with him.
He almost hung up but then the voicemail picked up. Voicemail might be safe.
"You've reached Barry Wheeler. You know what to do!"
He paused for a second as a tone rang in his ear, unsure of what to say. He decided to go casual, because it just felt like the right thing to do.
"Hey Barry, it's Alan. How's it going? It's been a while." He chuckled, but there was a sadness in that laugh. "I don't have much time to explain things, but I felt like I needed to reach out to someone. This is going to sound crazy, but surprise, I'm not dead. I've been trapped under Cauldron Lake for the past thirteen years in the Dark Place. It's hard to explain, it's a nightmare dimension, but it was the place that Alice had been trapped all those years ago. When I went in, she came out. In there, there really isn't any concept of time, so I had no idea how long I'd been gone until I got out.
He sighed. "Unfortunately, I wasn't the only thing that got out of there, I brought the Dark Presence back with me. I, uh... pretty much doomed the world unless I do something about it. I'm not sure if I'll make it out of this ever again, so I just wanted to call and let you know what happened.
"I know about Alice," he started, and he felt a hitch rise up in his throat at the thought of having to acknowledge her fate. "I know what happened to her. I wish I could have been there to stop it. I thought it was the dark presence was torturing her... but it turns out to be more complicated than that."
He didn't want to admit to Barry what he had done. How he'd been the one haunting Alice over and over. He felt the guilt rising in his chest. He did his best to crush it down, but the emotion started to overwhelm him, and he couldn't keep the tremble out of his voice. "I'm not sure if I reached out to you, too. If I did, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all the problems I've caused. But I can fix this, and I'm going to. I'm driving back to Bright Falls right now, and I'm going to make it right.
"I just wanted someone to know what really happened to me. I didn't drown. I didn't die. It wasn't Alice's fault. If anything, her death was my fault. So, if I could ask one last favor of you as a friend, make sure the world knows that. And I'm truly sorry for all the trouble that I've caused for you over the years."
He felt tears welling up in his eyes, realizing how much pain he'd caused those around him. He quickly wiped them away and cleared his throat in attempt to regain his composure.
"Thanks for helping me save Alice all those years ago. You've always been a loyal friend, even when I wasn't at my best, and I wanted you to know I appreciate that. You've always been someone I can count on, and I appreciate that more than you know.
"I'm sure you'll probably have a million questions after you get this message. There's this government agency called the Federal Bureau of Control. You've probably never heard of them. I hadn't until now, but I guess they've been watching Cauldron Lake since I disappeared. They know all about this. I'm sure they'll deny it if anyone asks, but if you need more answers, that's where to go.
"I wish I had more time, but saving the world can't wait. Thanks for everything, Barry. I miss you, buddy."
With that said, he hung up the phone and placed it back in the center console. He wished he could leave his friend more of an explanation, but that would have to do. How do you break down all of the weird shit he'd been through in enough time to fit in a voicemail? But he was glad to know someone out in this world would know what happened to him.
He hadn't even backed out of the parking lot near Cauldron Lake when the phone rang. He looked down, and saw Barry's number pop up on the screen. He debated not answering it. He knew it would only slow him down, and the sooner he dealt with Scratch, the better. But a selfish part of him just needed to hear a familiar, friendly voice. He knew there was a risk to Barry if he talked to him, but the temptation of hearing his friend's voice was too much to resist. He'd been on his own for so long...
He hit the button to answer the call as he pulled out of the parking lot and drove towards Bright Falls. "Hello?"
"Who the hell is this?!" the voice on other end demanded. His voice was music to Alan's ears.
"It's me, Barry."
"It can't fucking be you."
"It is," Alan replied, even if he wasn't sure he believed it himself.
"Al?! What the fuck? If this is someone playing some kind of artificial intelligence bullshit prank, I swear to god I will sue your ass-"
"It's me, Barry. Remember that night in New York in 2008, that we swore we'd never tell anyone about and never speak of again? The coke and that drug dealer at that hotel downtown? We knew Alice would kill us both, and the tabloids would have a field day."
There was a full ten seconds of silence, and when Barry didn't break it, Alan did. "I swear it's me."
"Holy shit," Barry whispered. "I... I don't... what the fuck?"
In all the years Alan had known Barry, he'd never known him to be at a loss for words. He actually smiled at that. It felt good to genuinely smile. "Yeah, it's a long story. But the news of my death was premature."
"Jesus Christ, Al! They searched for you for years! You were declared dead! I went to your funeral! Where the hell have you been?!"
"It's hard to explain."
"Try, because my brain is fucking melting at the thought of you not being dead."
"When I rescued Alice, there had to be a trade to keep things balanced. I got her out, but I got trapped."
"Balanced? To keep what balanced? Trapped where?"
Alan took a deep breath. He had no idea how to condense this to make sense to someone outside the situation. He was in the middle of it, and it didn't fully make sense to him either.
"There's something under Cauldron Lake, I call it the Dark Place. It's where the dark entities come from, the ones that took Alice thirteen years ago. The Dark Presence trapped me there, wanting me to write a story that would unleash it on the world and make the world in its image. Whatever I wrote would come to life. I tried so many times to write myself out of there. I don't even know how many times because I don't remember most of it. The Dark Place makes you forget, confuses you. I just sort of remember looping through the same story over and over again, trying to stay ahead of the Dark Presence, but it always caught me, put me back, and started the cycle again."
Alan paused, and he was afraid that maybe he'd lost the call with the silence on the other end. He opened his mouth to continue talking, to try to explain the madness around him, but Barry spoke first.
"I went through years of therapy to convince myself that hadn't happened. That it was just my brain trying to cope with your death. But I do vaguely remember that."
"Like trying to remember a nightmare?"
"Yeah, exactly like that. How'd you know?"
"That's how a lot of this works, the Dark Presence and the Dark Place make you forget so you can't beat it. And I think that's also my fault. When I rewrote the ending to my story thirteen years ago that made all that shit happen, I basically made it so everyone else was safe, so I undid what I could. At least, that's what I think, even I don't fully understand how this works. I undid a lot of what we went through, but we did go through it. You in Bright Falls, we were trying to get to Cauldron Lake to get to Alice-"
"And you left me in that bunker with all the lights with Sheriff Breaker and that crazy lady," Barry finished, as if it were suddenly coming into focus.
"Yeah. Sorry about that. But I did find Alice, and I did get her out. I just got stuck in the process. Traded her for me."
Another brief silence, and Alan knew he was weighing whether to ask more questions or just move on. Barry chose the latter. "How'd you get out?"
"I had help from out here. An FBI agent that was able to reach me in the Dark Place. She helped me get out."
"How?"
"I don't know. I have no idea how or why we were able to communicate with each other, but somehow it worked. She was able to get me out. But it all went to shit, Barry. I brought the Dark Presence with me. It was in me, and I had no idea. It took over my body. I thought the Dark Presence created a duplicate of me. I called him Scratch. But it turns out it was just me, possessed by the Dark Presence. I gave up, and it took me over. It just breaks you down so you finally let in it.
"I did this to myself. I thought I was fighting Scratch, but it was just me. I stopped myself from getting out. I stopped myself from making the edits to the story. The Dark Place tricked me, bringing me through the same loop, and I did it to myself. And then it makes me forget, forget what I had done, what I'd already tried to get myself out!"
"Al-" Barry tried to interrupt, but it went unnoticed by Alan.
He was rambling, and he knew it probably wasn't making sense to Barry, but he couldn't stop. His voice was getting louder and louder as he vented all of his anger at his situation.
"How many times have I done this? Made the same mistakes?! Sabotaged myself?! Thirteen years! Thirteen years of this hell! Writing over and over again, who knows how many thousands of pages, thinking I was getting close, thinking I could outsmart the Dark Presence. And look where it got me! Look where it got all of us! I should have stopped writing, I never should have done any of this!"
"Alan!" Barry shouted, and this time Alan heard it. Barry rarely called him by his full name. He stopped, taking some deep breaths to calm his heart pounding in his chest.
The reality of what he'd been through was catching up to him. He thought of the times he had woken up over the past few days, covered in blood with no memory of what had transpired. When Scratch had taken over. All those people dead because of him.
"I killed people," he said quietly. "A lot of innocent people."
"Hey," Barry said, a sharpness in his voice that surprised Alan. "That wasn't you. I may not understand what the fuck is going on, but the Al I know would never do that."
Alan nearly broke hearing that. He hadn't realized how much he needed someone to just tell him that. The FBI, the FBC, all of them blamed him for this. He blamed himself for this. It was a weight on his shoulders that would never be lifted until the Dark Presence was back beneath Cauldron Lake, but for a brief second, it was nice that someone who knew him understood how much he had tried to prevent all of this. He didn't want any of this, he had just wanted to escape his endless torture. But now he realized that may be something that could never happen. Thomas Zane never made it out. Maybe he wasn't meant to either.
Maybe this was his fate. He'd tried to get out, and he'd only made things worse. Gotten more people wrapped up in this. Gotten more people killed. He never should have tried to escape.
"I killed Alice," he whispered.
"Al, don't go down that path. She made her choice, you didn't make it for her."
"I drove her to it. I was haunting her. I thought it was the Dark Presence, but it was just me..."
"Where are you now?" Barry asked, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts. Barry always knew when he needed to redirect Alan, he'd seen that depressed side many, many times before and knew that indulging in it was just going to make Alan spiral further.
Alan blinked at the unexpected question, dragging his mind out of the depths to answer. "Just outside Bright Falls."
"I'm on my way-" Barry began, but Alan cut him off.
"No, Barry. It's too dangerous, and I won't put anyone else at risk for this. I already lost Alice to this, I don't want to lose anyone else."
"To hell with that, Al. If you're in trouble, I'm there."
"Barry, I'm serious. Scratch has possessed someone else and he has the clicker. He's going to unleash himself on the world if I can't stop it here and do it now."
"And just how the hell are you going to do that?"
Alan took a deep breath. "I'm going to go back in to the Dark Place. Rewrite the ending of the manuscript I created."
"Hell no!" Barry exclaimed. "You said the FBI is there, let them handle that shit."
"I can't, Barry," Alan sighed. "I'm the only one that can fix this."
"Why? Why does it have to be you?"
"I wrote the original manuscript, the one that is guiding the events happening right now. Only I can fix it. I have to write a new ending to save everyone."
"Everyone but yourself."
"Someone has to pay the price," he replied with a sense of defeat. "There has to be a balance. In horror stories, the hero has to pay the price."
He'd tried to fight this for so long, but it just wasn't meant to be. This was where the story was leading all along, and he was just the last one to realize it. There never was an escape for him. He was doomed to this fate. But the least he could do was make sure no one else had to be doomed with him. He'd tried being so cautious, so calculated in his moves with his writing. He'd wanted to protect everyone around him, especially Alice. All he'd wanted was to get back to her. And now that she was gone... none of that mattered anymore. Now he could just throw caution to the wind and do what needed to be done to stop Scratch.
"I'm not going to be able to talk you out of it, am I?" Barry asked, but the resignation in his voice said he already knew the answer.
A sense of dread and terror filled Alan at the thought of re-entering the Dark Place. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but it was the only thing he could do. Saga was gone, the Anderson brothers were gone, and Casey was possessed. There was no one else.
"No," Alan told him. "This is what I have to do. The Dark Presence escaped because of me. I need to put it back where it belongs."
"What can I do?"
"Nothing, it's all up to me, unfortunately."
"Then why...?" He let the question hang.
"I just... I just needed to hear a friendly voice. Thirteen years is a long time when the only voices you hear are your nightmares."
An immense sadness filled Alan. He missed his friend. He missed his life. He missed Alice. But getting that back clearly wasn't in the cards for him.
"Al..."
"If I succeed, hopefully everything will be back to normal. But if something goes wrong, and I end up haunting you, just know that I'm not doing it on purpose."
"If you make it out of this alive, and you end up back where you were, you better damn well haunt me because I'm coming to save your ass. I've got my Christmas lights in my garage, I will drive them up to Bright Falls."
"If we're lucky, when I rewrite the ending, I'll undo all of this and it'll be as if it never happened."
"If you're in control of that, you better include in that story that I remember this conversation. Don't you fucking let me forget this. Now that I know you're alive, you better not let me go back to thinking my best friend drowned. I've missed you, Al."
Alan smiled again. "I've missed you too, Barry."
The car broke through the line of trees that surrounded the town, and he saw Bright Falls down the hill below. It was shrouded in darkness, so he knew that's where Scratch was. He saw the overlap to the Dark Place near the Oh Deer Diner. Scratch wasn't far.
"I have to go, Barry."
"Al," he said quickly, hoping his friend wouldn't hang up right away. "Can you do me one favor?"
"Sure," Alan agreed, unsure of what he could possibly do from here.
"Just say bye like we're going to talk again tomorrow. I don't want to think this is the last time we might ever talk."
" I think I can manage that. Talk to you tomorrow, Barry."
"See you later, Al. Take care of yourself," Barry replied.
He hung up the phone and dropped it back into the center console before either of them could say anything else. He pulled into the center of town, staring into the depths of the overlap to the Dark Place in front of him. He knew what he had to do, but that didn't mean he wasn't terrified to do it.
He got out of the car and stared into the overlap, at the swirling inkiness in front of him. He stomach was in knots, but he knew there was no other way. This was the only option, and if it meant dooming himself, so be it. He'd sacrificed himself once to save Alice, he could do it again to save the world. But this time, he truly was fine with never coming out again if that's what it took.
"Fuck it," he said to himself and walked towards the overlap, unsure of what he'd find the other side.