Chapter Text
Mike was screaming at her. He was screaming himself hoarse as he tried to get her to leave. He threw an action figure at the wall beside her. When that didn’t make her flinch, he stepped forward, intent on shoving her out of his room. On any other day, she would have left long before it got to this point, grumbling about her weird brother with clear anger management issues. Not now. Today she would stand her ground. She wasn’t going to budge an inch.
For the first time, in far too long, she saw the pain in her brother’s eyes.
For the first time, she paid attention to more than his words, and worked to understand where all this frustration was coming from. It wasn’t rooted in anger like she’d thought for so long, but in pain and fear buried deep below the surface.
His reaction to their father’s words over dinner had finally unlocked something. The puzzle pieces all came together at once, making her sick to her stomach at the realization. Not the realization of who her brother was, but the realization of how little she’d stepped into the role of supportive older sibling throughout the last few years.
The blindness was gone, and she determined to never let it creep in again. She was not going to sit back and watch her little brother self-destruct alone. She’d go down with him if it came to that, but he was going to know he was loved if it was the last thing she did. He was going to know that his hurt and anger at the world was justified and understood.
No eleven year old should have ever suffered the heartache and trauma that he had. No child should have had to shoulder that alone, to pretend it never happened just because some Government Agent Assholes had declared it so. No little boy should have to suffer their father’s repeated homophobic remarks at the dinner table, making him feel so ashamed and scared that he struggled to admit his sexuality even to himself.
No, none of this had been acceptable. It could not go on this way any longer. Something had to change, and that something started with her opening her own heart back up to a sibling relationship with him again.
His voice had broken under the stress, and he went quiet. She knew this was not by choice. His tone was cold as ice as he strained to make himself heard. “Get Out. Please.”
“Not yet.”
She stepped forward to snake her arms around him before he could register her intentions, and pulled him into a hug.
“What’s wrong with you? Let go of me, weirdo, and get out of my freaking room!” He tried to pull away, but didn’t quite escape her grasp. He could have, if he had truly wanted to, she knew.
“I love you no matter what. You know that right?” She tried to put every ounce of sincerity she could into those words, desperate for him to really hear her and believe. Desperate to squeeze past those solid walls between them that they’d both been responsible for.
“Uh, yeah, sure, whatever.”
She released him, and stared directly into his eyes, needing him to fully understand. “There is nothing you could do or be that would ever make me love you less. I don’t think you understand what that means.” She smiled weakly, half joking but entirely serious as she continued, “I would bury a body for you. I would create a body to bury, to keep you safe. Something as small as who you love would never even faze me.”
He sucked in a startled breath. His mouth opened, but no sound escaped. Silence reigned for a number of moments.
Welp, that was probably more than enough vulnerability for the night for both of them. Small steps. She patted his arm awkwardly, then backed out of the room. “Anyway-” she rushed out, “Just wanted to let you know that. You can talk to me about anything. Ok, goodnight. Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” She shut his door in his face before rushing to her own room. She was emotionally spent, and embarrassed by her fumbling attempts to support him. She felt as adept as a newborn lamb. Hopefully something she’d done had gotten through to him.
Her sleep was restless, but when she awoke the next morning to a note under her door, her heart lightened considerably.
“You too - Mike”