Chapter Text
Patchwork was not having a good day. First she narrowly escaped the police because they caught them pick-pocketing some old rich woman, they ran into Scourge (an asshole), and now they had a "cOoL tElEkEnEsIs tHiNg" as Envy described it that apparently was "nOt nOrMal". They just want ONE NORMAL DAY
CURRENT TIME Envy walked down the dirty alley looking for a specific orange and white cat. The smell of unwashed fur pierced the air. It had rained recently, so the alley had pools of grimy water. Envy stared down at the watch on her paw. Hmm, its 4:00, shouldn't Patchwork be back from her "totally legal activities" by now? Envy thought to herself.
She found Patchwork down on the street because it was a Wednesday, which meant he had to look sad on the street, in order to get money and food, and also pickpocket occasionally, from the middle classes.
"Patchwork? Are you there?" The calico-patterned cat called out. She heard a rustling behind her, she stopped walking and said in a done-with-life voice "Patchwork I swear to cat-god if you are trying to jump scare me I am going to punch you" Envy turned around and SUPRISE SUPRISE there was a face she saw in her w o r s t n i g h t m a r e s.
"HI ENVY!!!!! HOW WAS YOUR DAY" The cat enthusiastically said. He was an orange and white cat, they had a dirty red hoodie with a lined star on it that showed off her social class, and some random pants covered in scuff marks.
"It was normal. I have a biology project though, we have to analyze the connection between brain power and physical strength" She replied in a bored way.
"I don't understand half of those words but cool!!!" Patchwork replied. Envy asked how their day went.
"Got chased, ran into that asshole Scourge, and got some weird spooky telekinesis shit!" He replied in a nonchalant voice.
"Oh, so the same old stuff- YOU FUCKING WHAT?"
ONE HOUR EARLIER
Patchwork was running down the alleyway, shouts from police officers sounded all around her. "How did you get here" You may be thinking. The police were chasing them because of a failed pick pocketing. He neared the end of the alley before he realized that it was a dead end except for the door that was blocked by heavy looking boxes.
Patchwork got to the door and started trying to move the boxes. "What the hell are in these, ROCKS?" They monologued to themself.
The shouts of the police got closer and closer, he was thinking how screwed he was, when suddenly a figure appeared in his hand and he.... moved the boxes without touching them??
Once he got inside the door and blocked it again, he said out loud to himself "WHAT THE FACK?" Patchwork paused as her eyes widened with a look of mischief appearing on his face, ""Now I can steal all those magazines with the unclothed ladies from Scourge..."
"... And steal money!!!!"
She cackled before she looked at a clock and realized it was 3:45, almost time to meet with Envy.
He scampered off once he realized the police were gone to meet their belove- I MEAN to meet Envy.
PRESENT TIME
Patch wha-WHY DO YOU HAVE SPOOKY POWERS NOW?" Envy replied in a voice that resembled that of someone who has just had their car plowed into by a truck.
Patchwork shrugged and exclaimed "Anyways, I snagged some of Scourge's magazines with NAKED WOMEN!!!!! Let's look..."
Before Envy could protest Patchwork brought out the magazines and opened them only to see...???
"What the? - wrenches... Okayyy.. Scourge likes his trusty metal tool..."
Patchwork spoke curiously and slightly concerned and he flipped through the pages just to have the faces replaced with wrenches.
"This is why I hate old men."