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Ok. So EVERYONE knew about this one not so secret little secret here in heaven. Not everyone cared, BUT damn, between the ever perfect everything, gossiping about the unknown was one of the few actually entertaining things for the beings that had spent the most time there. I mean, eating all you could eat, all the time, while doing anything you wanted to, all the time, while not having to worry about where you lived because everyone had their perfect little house just the way they wanted, every time... Sure you hadn't actually watched the Matrix, but surely there was something in there about perfect life and satisfaction being mixed up in this sort of balanced circus act. Surely.
So, while walking through the corridors of the exterminator's headquarters, you know, walking along aimlessly with your trainee uniform, just messing around and thinking about nothing, making up dance steps with your legs and just, you know, trying not to think about the insufferable amount of one armed pushups your division had to get to tomorrow after a certain someone had a kitchen incident that was so bad fucking Sera stopped by to ask what was happening on the trainee's quarters, like, no Lute, I don't know what the fuck is going on I wasn't even there! Like-
"Ah-"
...
You turned your head slowly at the muffled sound coming from the open doorway. Oh. My. God.
Your wandering brought you to the exact place you surely didn't want to be but damn. The end of the corridor was right there, you were just supposed to turn around, leave and continue your wandering like nothing fucking happened but DAMN.
Lute's office was right there, door wide open as your fucking eyes right now. You were paralyzed for longer than you fucking wanted to see what was happening which was like not ever so like- You swiftly pressed yourself against the wall, reaching your hand to the door and ever so carefully closing it without a sound.
Ok.
Ok.
You grabbed your chin off the floor. Freaking the absolute out you rushed through the corridors.
Adam and Lute were DEFINITELY fucking in there.
And some heaven bucks were about to exchange hands.
Reaching the cafeteria you spotted a fellow trainee. You launched yourself at her ear.
"Hey! What the-" You whispered. "...Oh... DAMN!" She slapped her table, grabbing a note from her pocket. You plucked it and gathered it with your own. The both of you then frantically ran around, like headless chicken, and every new encounter had your pack of money thicker, and sometimes another chicken.
One hour later, about thirty five girls gathered around the last exorcist to not know about what was going on.
"Why the hell are so many of you kids-" You leaned in, whispered again, and like many others she sighed and produced a note.
.xXx.
The seraphim's offices were REALLY big, for no apparent reason other than to flaunt opulence, so you got a little lost in there, but soon you found Srea at some desk reviewing something or other. You cleared your throat.
"Hm? What do we have here?" You gestured with your hand for her to lean over, and as she did, with a lifted eyebrow of course, you whispered what you had to whisper.
Sera closed her eyes, sighed while pinching the bridge of her nose and produced a golden note that you added to the absolute unit of the full envelope.
"Emily's right there." She pointed. "Just take a right and you should find her." Sera then let her head fall onto the desk, seemingly catatonic.
As you reached Emily she welcomed you with one of her bright smiles.
"Oh! Hello!" She waved. After you whispered the deed one last time, you moved away to see her wide eyes and widening smile. You then presented the envelope to her, which she clutched with a terrifying force.
"YES!" Her scream echoing trough the entirety of heaven. "I'm about to pet SO many coalas right now!" Which was fair, since heaven bucks didn't do much else besides giving you the right to skip lines.
.xXx.
"YES!" Emily's screaming rumbled through the stained glass windows of Lute's office.
"What the FUCK was THAT?!"
"Someone screaming, sir."
"Oh! Like I couldn't guess THAT you fu-mmm-"