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Mikey wasn’t sure either Raph or Donnie really understood just how stubborn Leo could be.
Raph was, of course, used to Leo’s stubbornness. Those two had fought nearly every day since Shredder’s defeat and Leo’s inauguration. Neither wanted to budge, but Raph had given up the fight and stormed away more often than Leo did. Mikey could count on one hand the amount of times Leo had left in the middle of an argument.
Donnie, on the other hand, was Leo’s twin. They argued about just about everything, from outfits, to meals, to daily activities, and more. They could argue about whether the sky was blue or not if they put their mind to it! And while both Leo and Donnie were known for their absolute stubbornness, Leo seemed more capable of making Donnie give in than vice-versa.
But even so, Mikey could stubbornly argue that they didn’t know the full extent of Leo’s sheer hardheadedness, because they never had to get him to love someone.
The fact of the matter was that Mikey loved Draxum. He loved their creator just as much as he loved anyone else in his ever-growing family, and he was desperate for everyone to feel the same.
Draxum may have made mistakes, but who hadn’t? Sure, on the scale of funny to completely irredeemable, his mistakes were closer to the latter than anything else, but! He was getting better every day. He was taking step after step, and he was making a very real effort to be better.
Everyone seemed to get that. Everyone was able to at least hold a civil conversation with Draxum! It was common for them to shake his hand, at very least, whenever he came over, and all of them could tolerate being in the same room as Draxum for the duration of his visit!
Obviously none of that was love, not yet, but attempts were being made. Steps were being put forward for good, on all sides!
Except for Leo. Leo, who was a brick wall. Leo, who rolled his eyes when Draxum entered the room, or completely walked away if Draxum tried to start a conversation. Leo, who kept bringing up the roof incident every chance he got. It just didn’t make sense.
Mikey didn’t realize just how deeply Leo’s grudge ran until he approached him three months after Draxum saved the family on the ferris wheel, three months after his “redemption”.
It was a little after 3am when Mikey found himself stumbling upon Leo in the kitchen. The idea was to start making breakfast of some capacity, because if he was up early, he was going to get started on preparing the best meal of all time.
Leo, for his part, was an insomniac. It would’ve been weird not to find him in the kitchen or living room at this time of night. So it wasn’t like Mikey was surprised to see Leo sipping tea, thumbing through his phone.
Leo looked up when Mikey entered, lifting his cup silently in a toast.
“Hi, Leo! Hope I’m not bothering you!” Mikey beamed, making his way to the cabinets to begin fishing out ingredients for french toast.
“Daw, Mikester, you’re never a bother!” Leo chirped dismissively, moving from one chair to another so he could watch Mikey moving around the kitchen without twisting. “Whatcha making?”
“Everything! Waffles, donuts, french toast, you name it, I’ll have it!”
“Cool, cool, cool…”
They drifted off into comfortable silence, as Leo drank his tea and Mikey began sorting ingredients and measuring cups. The clink of two different types of teaspoons was all that filled the air, and it was such a smooth rhythm that it made Mikey want to hum along.
But then he remembered. He had something important to discuss with Leo. And he was sick of waiting and wondering.
“Why don’t you like Draxum?” Mikey asked at last, immediately feeling the air around them thicken with tension.
Leo set down his cup with a loud clink.
“Like I know, I know,” Mikey scrambled to reassure, so Leo would know he had been listening, “the whole rooftop thing, but he’s changed. He’s even apologized! He’s doing his best to make up for it, but every time he tries, it’s like you just shove a foot in his face!”
“Oooh,” Leo said lightly, like they were discussing the weather and not why he was so bent on hating their second dad. “I see where you’re coming from, Mikester! But, ya see, the roof incident was deeply traumatizing to poor, little me. I can’t just forgive and forget!”
“But he’s trying so hard to—!”
“Iiiiiiiis he, though?” Leo arched an eyebrow, and turned back to his mug of tea, lifting the cup up to his lips and taking a swig. “I dunno. It feels like you’re always putting in the effort for him. No offense, Mikey, but he’s more like a lost puppy than a goat, always following you around.”
Mikey bristled. Plenty of offense was taken. “He’s just learning to be good! There’s nothing wrong with that!”
“Let me know when he’s done learning, then.” Leo shrugged, standing up to rinse out his cup, finally done with the conversation. “And then we’ll talk, m’kay?”
Mikey glared at him, shoulders hunching as he watched Leo stride out of the room, not a care in the world. Why was Leo so stubborn? Draxum was trying. Leo just didn’t get it.
(:)
Mikey didn’t get another opportunity to bring it up until the week before his birthday.
But the approaching two months were absolute torture; Leo sidestepped around Draxum even more than before. Forget the insults or the scoffing remarks, Leo was now saying absolutely nothing at all. His gaze immediately zoned out the moment Draxum moved in front of him, and he would immediately but into a completely different conversation if Draxum tried to talk to him.
Mikey swore he was being infuriating on purpose. He was certain Leo was just doing it to annoy him.
Which meant, when Leo approached him in the living room, draping himself over the back of the couch, Mikey had the perfect opportunity to get back on him. If Leo purposefully avoided Draxum, then Mikey could force them back together. It was a battle of stubbornness, and Mikey was going to win.
“What do you want for your birthday?” Leo asked lazily. The way he said it sounded like he hadn’t put much thought in it at all, but Mikey could tell Leo had already over-thought it and exhausted all other options. Him asking Mikey at all was a surrender, giving up completely.
Which meant he would get Mikey just about anything.
“Honestly,” Mikey said, turning to Leo with the biggest, most round eyes ever. He didn’t like being babied, but if this is how he could get his way, then he would use his God-given gift. “I want nothing more than for you to get along with Dad.”
“Huh?” Leo blinked. “Padre and I get along perfectly fine? Like, we watched a Lou Jitsu movie last night, just the two of us.”
“Wrong dad, Leon.” Mikey deadpanned. “Y’know, Barry! Draxum! Our other dad!” And then, because he knew he couldn’t ask for too much or risk Leo completely giving up on the idea, “You guys don’t need to like each other or anything, but just– You can have a conversation without completely killing each other, right?”
Leo stared at Mikey. There was a burning in his eyes Mikey couldn’t quite grasp, a look that made him shift with slight discomfort. It wasn’t a big deal. Leo was overreacting.
“M’kay,” Leo pushed himself up from the couch, and reached out to ruffle Mikey’s head. “Have fun, Mikster.”
And then he was wandering right on out.
(:)
Leo came in on his birthday bearing gifts. Three huge gift bags full of an assortment of items, from decorations for the kitchen, to new art supplies, to a warm blanket for the cold winter months.
Mikey guessed he didn't need to ask Mikey for gift ideas anyway. But it did mean that, before they even saw each other, that he knew exactly how Leo and Draxum’s interaction would go for the day.
They didn’t say a word to one another.
Leo even stood at the opposite side of the room.
And frankly, Mikey didn’t know what to do anymore.
(:)
And then the invasion happened.
It was, bottom line, the worst experience of their lives. But at least they got Leo back. At least they could wrap his arms around him and love him and cling to him–
Except he kept. Getting. Worse.
In two days, infection began to set into his leg. Not in his carapace, though, since that had been the focus of all of Casey and Donnie’s efforts. It took an extra day for the fever to set in, and then within a few hours he was delirious.
By the end of the week, the scary part was over, and Leo was on the mend again, but Mikey–
Mikey was still terrified. And when he was scared, he knew he had to take matters into his own hands. He had done it once already, to snag Leo from the cold embrace from the Prison Dimension. He could do it again.
After all, he didn’t trust Donnie and Casey to do it properly, and, besides, Draxum created them. He had to know the ins and outs of their biology. If Mikey wanted to ensure Leo would stay fine, this was their best bet.
And while Leo wasn’t sick, per say, he was still out of it enough that he didn’t question when Mikey snuck into the infirmary to abduct him. He draped his arm around Mikey’s shoulders without pause, giggling as he leaned against Mikey.
“H-heyyyy~!” Leon wheezed, tucking his face against Mikey’s shoulder. It broke Mikey’s heart, how soft and gentle he was. This was for Leo’s own good, but Mikey could already imagine the way his entire expression would fall. “This a– This a jail break?”
“Yeah,” Mikey agreed, steadfast, and trying not to sound absolutely heartbroken. “We’re gonna go somewhere fun, m’kay? You’re gonna get yourself taken care of, and everything is going to be alright.”
Leo froze for only a moment, and then he was churring full-force, getting his legs underneath him and hobbling along, following Mikey step by step. He stumbled after every few steps, but Mikey didn’t let that hinder him, even when his shell rubbed uncomfortably against his arms.
This was good. Leo was coming along with no issue. They were going to make it to Draxum’s in no time. Everyone else was sleeping or busy, so the only real problem was getting Leo into a sweatshirt and pants to make sure nobody would realize there was a giant turtle walking through the apartment building.
Leo took everything Mikey shoved at him without delay, sliding them on. And even though Mikey had already lied and told him they were going to have fun, he didn’t ask where they were going. He only watched Mikey with wide, red eyes as Mikey put on his own disguise.
“Alright,” Mikey grinned as he pulled on his compression gloves. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” Leo bobbed his head slowly. “Let’s go.”
It was slow going, guiding Leo through the sewers. Even though Mikey knew everyone else was otherwise preoccupied, he found himself checking their surroundings every few steps just to make sure they weren’t being followed. If Leo picked up on it, he didn’t comment. Whatever, he knew it was a jailbreak moment.
Ugh, hopefully he had Leo back before anyone realized they were gone, because Donnie and Raph were going to kill him for taking Leo out without permission.
The ladder to the surface provided a bit of difficulty, but Leo bit down on his lip and climbed without assistance all the way to the top. They had to hang out in the alleyway for a moment for Leo to cough and heave, which made Mikey feel guilty, but not guilty enough to drop the whole thing.
“When you get your breath back,” Mikey said after a few moments, reaching out to pat the back of Leo’s shell, “we’ll keep moving, m’kay? It’s only a couple more blocks.”
Leo nodded, clamping shut his jaw and nodding stubbornly. Hands against the ground, he pushed himself up to his feet, swaying slightly until Mikey slung an arm around the back of his shoulders.
“Geez,” Mikey huffed, “I didn’t mean right now. We can take our time if you want.”
“It’s fine.” Leo dismissed, shaking his head.
Mikey nibbled his bottom lip. He hated how unbelievably quiet his brother was, how his brother barely said more than three words at a time. Hopefully Draxum would fix it, one way or another. Even if “fixing it” meant that Leo just yelled at Draxum for a solid ten minutes. Like, Mikey would prefer he didn’t, but it’d be better than the silence.
Mikey took off walking, Leo falling in shaky step after him, a beat behind with every movement, but Mikey waited for him. The cracks under his palms felt like they were going to break even further, but of course they held.
Leo’s shell had done its job against the Kraang, at very least. But would it do the trick against bacteria, against affection, and– Oh, geez, Mikey really shouldn’t have brought him out into the sewers and alleys. He should’ve tried to see if he could sneak Draxum into the infirmary before bringing Leo out, but they had already gotten so far.
He wasn’t turning back now.
After a few minutes of travel, sticking against the edges of the apartment buildings that were still cast in shadow, Leo broke the silence. “We… we headin’... to April’s?”
It was bad that he was panting so hard, even with Mikey’s support. Hopefully it would mean he would be too exhausted to fight back against Draxum’s checkup.
“Mmhmm!” Mikey nodded enthusiastically, making sure to keep his gaze straight ahead, because if he looked at Leo, his older brother would be able to read the lie like it was written on his face. Leo was shaking like he was cold, but he was no cooler than Mikey himself was.
He really was exhausted, huh? How was Mikey even going to get him home? Would he be able to climb down the ladder without collapsing?
“Cool,” Leo vaguely hummed, “s’good to… see her…”
“Super good, uh huh!” Mikey beamed, hitting the crosswalk button that would send them across the street and right over to April and Draxum’s apartment building.
It was one of the few buildings that didn’t have a glimmer of damage on it from the invasion, and Mikey knew it was in part due to Draxum’s mystic spells. At least he could argue that he hadn’t taken Leo anywhere dangerous or structurally unsound.
Leo was deathly silent as they trudged across the street and entered the building. He didn’t even blink as they began to make their way up the stairs. Mikey knew his eyes were watching the floor signs, but he didn’t comment as they passed the fourth floor, April’s floor, and continued up to the fifth floor.
Leo was smart. Smarter than he let on. Even weak and exhausted as he was, of course he had already known they were heading to Draxum’s. Mikey didn’t know if it was a good thing or not that he hadn’t immediately called attention to it and began arguing.
“I love you, y’know.” Mikey told him, steadfast, a bit desperate. Because Leo got quiet when angry. And yeah, he was already quiet, but suddenly it felt even quieter.
“Love you.” Leo echoed, without hesitation, in a kind of automatic way, but it sounded like a reassurance anyway. He didn’t say anything else, but that was okay.
They were okay.
They made their way to Draxum’s door, and Mikey knocked as Leo began to deflate fully against him. It was a relief to have Leo relaxing instead of tensing. Maybe he trusted Draxum, after all. Maybe this whole thing was just a sibling war Mikey had been taking way too seriously. Probably not, but it could just be a joke! Maybe!
Leo didn’t even flinch when Draxum opened the door, staring down at them with a critical eye, drawn to his full height.
“Michelangelo.” The goat alchemist greeted stiffly.
“Hey, Dad!” Mikey waved, lifting Leo’s hand wrapped around his own shoulders into a wave, too. Leo snorted in his ear, but Mikey couldn’t tell if it was in humor or exhaustion. “May we come in?”
“What are you two doing here?” Draxum demanded, taking a step to the side instead of an answer, letting them trudge their way in. “I thought you both were confined to your living quarters.”
“Naw, only Leo. This is a breakout!” Mikey beamed, like he hadn’t been regretting everything since leaving the lair. He really should’ve just brought Draxum inside instead. “But, um, no. Really, I was hoping you could give Leo a checkup? He’s been… sick?”
“Sick.” Draxum echoed helplessly.
“Yeah, and you created us, so I was hoping you could help him!” Mikey tugged Leo over to the couch, trying to ignore how absolutely limp Leo had gone since they had taken a step in. “He, um. Um.”
Draxum sighed, resigned, and made his way across the room to help Mikey set Leo down on the couch. Leo wasn’t as unconscious as he seemed, because the moment they set him down on the couch, he slumped himself in half, revealing his shell in all of its shattered, broken glory.
“I see. “Um”, indeed.” Draxum nodded. “If you had told me it was this bad, I would have come over, regardless of your father’s requests.”
“Well, actually, it was Donnie who said you shouldn’t come over this time. Something about contaminating the lair, and dragging more germs from outside in?” Mikey mused, not actually sure how that worked. Hadn’t they already tracked more than enough dirt in, just returning home from the invasion?
“He was right.” Draxum deadpanned. “You shouldn’t have brought Leonardo out, either.”
Yeah, Mikey had already figured that one out, thanks, Sherlock. He didn’t see how they could bring more bacteria in, with all of Donnie’s safety protocols, but taking Leo out definitely seemed to pose a problem.
“But since you’re already here,” Draxum heaved, “I might as well do your… checkup. Leonardo, are you responsive or otherwise awake?”
Leo nodded, forehead rubbing against his knees. He was shaking again.
“Excellent.” Draxum took a breath. “I will attempt to keep all touching to a minimum, as to not give you more ammunition to use against me, understood?”
“Nono!” Mikey interrupted, abrupt, reaching out to squeeze Leo’s arm. It’s okay, he hoped the touch communicated. “Do whatever you need to to make sure Leo’s okay. You– You gotta be thorough, please.”
Draxum stared at Mikey, expression one of utter befuddlement. That is to say, it wasn’t much different than his normal expression, but Mikey was excellent at spotting the minute differences. Like the way his eyebrows slightly lifted or the fact that his mouth was just a tiny bit more open.
And then clarity slid upon his face. “Ah, I see! This is a challenge, a test to see how much I have learned. Well, Michelangelo, do not worry. I will be as thorough as possible without bypassing Leonardo’s boundaries. Like you instructed me to.”
“What? No, no, no test!” Mikey felt like he was going to rip out his hair. He dragged Leo all the way here, only for Draxum to imply that he wasn’t going to inspect Leo enough! “You– You gotta pay attention to Leo, you can’t let him die!”
“Die.” Draxum echoed.
“Do what Mikey says.” Leo mumbled against his knees, shoulders hunching. “He knows best.”
Mikey almost wanted to cry. It was the most Leo had said in without two minute gaps between each sentence since they had gotten him back to the lair. And it wasn’t even him yelling at Draxum!
“I will do no such thing.” Draxum huffed defiantly, crossing his arms over his chest like a stubborn little kid. Mikey didn’t think it was possible for Draxum to break his heart; not after all the time spent sitting next to him and drilling the concept of being good into his head.
Mikey knew Draxum’s heart like his own, and after hearing Draxum’s unfiltered thoughts for a month straight, Mikey thought nothing else could ruin him. And yet, here he was, wanting to pull out his nonexistent hair, tempted to just explode.
“For–” Mikey hissed. “Why not?!” ’
Draxum gave him a weary look. “I am not going to risk overstepping a boundary. I will check him over as carefully as I can, but I will not touch him more than absolute necessary.”
“He said you could touch him!”
“Oh, did he?” Draxum arched an eyebrow. “Because from what I can tell, there is a great deal of… What is that phrase you used? Peer pressure. Yes, this sounds like a great deal of peer pressure. Leonardo would never agree to my council on his own.”
“But he agreed!” Mikey argued, and he didn’t get how Draxum wasn’t getting it. Oay, sure, sure, Mikey admitted it. Yeah, it was peer pressure. But it was more than that! Mikey wasn’t doing it to hurt Leo, he was helping! He was helping.
It was Leo who had always been so stubborn, who rejected Draxum to the point where Donnie wouldn’t even let him visit. Respect of boundaries, yeah, that was great, at any other time! Not when it was going to get Leo killed. Not like this.
“You have to help him.” Mikey begged, and this time he didn’t even bother trying to keep the tears out of his voice. “You can’t just– Refuse! You can’t, you can’t.”
Leo didn’t say anything, at Mikey’s side. He just sat there and shook.
Numbly, numbly, at the back of Mikey’s mind, he realized that maybe Leo’s shakes weren’t from exhaustion. Maybe they were from fear. Maybe Leo was still so utterly afraid that he– No.
No, this was fine. It was all fine! Leo had already agreed to this! He had told Draxum to go ahead and do this!
Mikey thought it was Leo’s stubbornness he had to look out for, but it was Draxum’s. How horrible was that?!
“I’m not refusing.” Draxum told him, leaning over the back of the couch to observe Leo’s shell. “I’m simply taking a more cautious angle.” It didn’t matter, though; it still felt like he wasn’t giving his all. And he wasn’t! He was avoiding touching Leo, he was avoiding helping Leo! Mikey couldn’t handle it. He just couldn’t.
He wanted to tear out his arms, pull apart his skin. He had brought Leo out to help him, and now the help wasn’t helping, and–
“Allow me to collect my medical kit.” Draxum dismissed, more like a statement than a request as he stood and marched his way to the kitchen. He paused briefly, looking out over the counter back to Mikey and Leo. “Leonardo, if you would not mind laying down, I believe I could get a better look at your shell that way.”
Leo slowly moved onto his side, shoulders hunching. Mikey realized, with a daunting realization, that his arms were wrapped around himself. For comfort. Oh, geez, Mikey really did mess this up, didn’t he? And then he was rolling onto his back, stretching his arms underneath his head.
Like he hadn’t been hugging himself.
Mikey kneeled down next to Leo, hand on his shell. “Leo…”
Draxum returned with the medical kit, setting it down on the coffee table and pushing that off to the side so he could also crouch beside Leo. He surveyed his shell with pursed lips, setting a hand on Mikey’s shoulder and pushing him off to the side. “I need room, Michelangelo.”
Mikey bit on his lip to resist the protest. Draxum was doing what he wanted. Or at least half of what he wanted.
“I am going to pour one of my concoctions into your shell.” Draxum told Leo, unplugging a vial. “It will steam if it senses infection. Is that acceptable to you?”
Leo didn’t say anything, but his shoulders rose and fell with a shrug.
“Leonardo,” Draxum patiently tsked, the glass vial hovering over Leo’s shell. “I am not going to do this if you do not allow me to. I am going to need your permission if I proceed. It’s as invasive as I can get if I do examine your shell, but admittedly this liquid can make your skin crawl. It will feel like insects are digging within your shell and are threatening to dig into your spine, but that’s not what is happening at all. You are as safe as you can be.”
Leo shrugged again, turning his head slightly to stare at Mikey. “...Mikey?”
“Yeah, Leo?”
“What do you want?” Leo asked, and it was twinged in desperation. “Should I– Mmngh.” He cut himself off to bury his face back into the cushions, shoulders hunching as he buried himself into the couch.
“I think you should.” Mikey agreed, bobbing his head. “After all, you should be taking care of yourself, you know?” He smoothed his fingers out over the back of Leo’s head. “...I want to make sure you don’t get an infection again.”
“Go ahead.” Leo said to Draxum.
“No,” Draxum argued, “that was Michelangelo’s permission. Not yours. Leonardo, if you are uncomfortable, inform me. Stop deflecting.” He turned to Mikey next, ignoring the box turtle’s burning anger and forging on. “I am unsure how you managed to make Leonardo surrender his morals at only a word, but this is going against everything you have taught me. Frankly, I doubt this is even a test anymore.”
“It never was a test!” Mikey insisted, on the brink of crying out of pure frustration.
“Then I will not walk over his boundaries, regardless.”
“Why not?!” Mikey squawked, and then realized just how bad that sounded. Hand slamming over his mouth, he stared at the wall. Ashamed. Like a switch, Mikey finally realized just how wrong this was. How much he had been pushing.
Leo was scared. Just because he wasn't fighting back didn’t mean he wasn’t. Him not fighting back was odd. But so was him being quiet. So was Leo in general after the invasion. Mikey was so stupid. Why was he so stupid?
“Sorry.” Mikey mumbled from behind his hand, and didn’t look either in the eyes. “I didn’t mean to— You’re right. I’m sorry. Leo, let’s— Let’s go home.”
“It’s alright.” Leo said, softly, and cringed away from Mikey’s hands. “Draxum can— He can do it. Whatever he wants. Go ahead.”
Draxum hovered, eyeing him. “If you are only doing this due to Michelangelo’s encouragement, then I don’t think I should—?”
“I don’t care. Do whatever you need to. Mike and I will talk at home, okay?”
“But—?” Draxum began to disagree.
“Shut. Up. Just do it.” Leo insisted with a growl, twisting his head back into his arms. “You have my permission. Just get it over with.”
Draxum did it. Quickly. The liquid flowed into the cracks, green bubbles bursting and igniting as it gurgled. It looked painful, and yet Leo didn’t even flinch.
He just lay there and took it.
Mikey regretted doing this. He shouldn't have brought Leo out. If he had known—
No. No, he still would have done it. He knew because he did know. He knew Leo had problems with Draxum. Trauma, distrust, whatever. And yet he had lied and dragged Leo along anyway.
He thought he had been helping, but all he had been doing was hurting Leo. Mikey was a bad brother.
(:)
The fact that none of Draxum’s concoctions revealed any infection made this whole situation even worse. It meant Mikey had broken Leo’s boundaries for nothing. Mikey had lost Leo’s trust in him for nothing. What a bad brother.
Leo’s exhaustion was clearer than ever on the way back home. He wheezed between every breath. His footsteps were sluggish, but he didn’t even try to take a break. He didn’t even ask for one. Bad, bad brother.
“Leo…” Mikey began.
“Wait.” Leo hissed between his clenched teeth. Ah. Back to quiet Leo, then. Mikey’s heart cracked. “Until we’re… home.”
“Okay.” Mikey nodded, chest constricting. In one last attempt to get Leo to open up, to talk to him again, he said “I’m sorry.”
Leo didn’t say anything. He just choked around his next breath, fading into a lengthy rasp. But he kept walking, and didn’t slow down even a little.
Mikey was a horrible brother.
(:)
“Okay,” Mikey nodded as Leo was settled back into his bed in the infirmary, clumsy hands bringing the quilts back up around him. “Let’s talk.”
Leo tensed. Oh. He hadn’t been looking forward to this talk. He had been hoping Mikey would forget, or that Leo, himself, would be too exhausted to talk.
Mikey had done that. Maybe it would be better to let the conversation drop. To pretend. Let Leo get back to resting, like Mikey had never dragged him out in the first place.
But Mikey’s selfishness won out. It always seemed to.
“I’m sorry, Leo. I didn’t mean to– I was scared. I wasn’t thinking. I was trying to help. I– I promise! All I wanted was to help.”
“I know, Mikey.” Leo smiled. “I don’t care. I know you were trying to help. But so was Draxum.” A shy, watery smile followed. If Mikey didn’t know better, he’d think it was genuine. But he did, and it wasn’t. At least Leo was actually talking to him. Which somehow seemed impossible. “You were right. He really is trying to be better. I should have listened.”
“No, no, you shouldn’t have– You shouldn’t have needed to.” Mikey shook his head, hammer slamming against his heart and breaking it further. “Draxum was right. He was right. You don’t– You shouldn’t need to let him touch you, I shouldn’t have done that to you. I shouldn’t have– I just shouldn’t have.”
“No. It was good. You were worried.” Leo shrugged, and like his shoulders were tied to Mikey’s heart, it pulled his heartstrings right along with it. It felt like his chest was going to get ripped apart by the pressure. “Besides, you only ever do what’s best for me. I can trust that.”
“That’s not what you really think.” Mikey argued, because he knew how angry Leo had been before the invasion. Before he changed. Mikey stayed as gentle as he could be when it felt like he was going to fall over and never get up again. “Com’n, Leo. Be open, be honest. Let me hear what my big brother thinks.”
“You don’t want to hear it.” Honest, bitterly honest.
“I think I should, anyway.” Mikey offered.
Leo was silent for a while, studying his hands. And then his voice shook, dipping his head so far down that Mikey couldn’t see his face. “I– If. If the Kraang escaped,” he started, voice shaking like a leaf, “and he– He promised to change, promised he was going to help, instead of– Instead of–”
Mikey started to move to hug Leo, but his brother flinched back.
“Would you make me forgive him, too?” Leo asked, and just like that, it felt like the world was ending.
“What? No! No, I would– I would never make you–!”
“You want me to forgive Draxum.”
“That’s–!” Mikey began, on the verge of saying. That’s different. But how? How was it different from the Kraang? What made Mikey so desperate for Leo to love Draxum? Oh, that’s right. Trauma or not, it was because– “That’s different. Draxum is family.”
“I think family deserves even less of an excuse.” Leo murmured, and Mikey couldn’t even bring it upon himself to argue.
He already felt horrible, but Leo was– He was right. Family wasn’t supposed to hurt each other. And sure, Draxum had only created them, and he hadn’t started to actually love them until recently, but. But that was kind of the whole problem, wasn’t it? That was exactly why Leo didn’t like him, that’s why he was so untrusting.
Mikey kind of… He kind of got it.
“Let’s start over.” Mikey offered, taking a deep breath and holding out his hands, letting Leo make the decision whether he took his hands or not. Leo took them immediately. “Leo, I shouldn’t have brought you to Draxum. I shouldn’t have been trying to force a relationship between you in the first place, it was– I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Leo stared at him, silently. Mikey couldn’t tell if it was in awe or disgust. Either way was horrible in its own, unique way.
“I hate that it took Draxum scolding me, like, a bazillion times for me to get it.” Mikey admitted, squeezing his hands. “I’m so sorry that I’m so awful that you thought I would make you forgive the Kraang. I would never do that to you. I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry, Leo, I never meant to make you–”
“It’s okay.” Leo dismissed, shoulders hunching and leaning towards their interlocked hands. “As long as you’re not… It’s okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make a big deal about this. You were right Mikey, I should have forgiven–”
“What happened, Leo?” Mikey begged, bumping their foreheads together. Leo froze beneath his touch. “You used to be able to call me out when I was being an idiot. But you’ve– You’ve gotten so quiet. I don’t get it. What happened to make you shut down like this?”
“I don’t want to be a problem.” Leo admitted. “You’re– You’re trying your best to take care of me. You all are. I’m trying to make this easy– If it means dealing with Draxum– I’ll do it, okay? I’m not going to throw a fit.”
The not anymore goes unsaid. Mikey still heard it loud and clear, and it was the final blow to his heart.
Mikey was crying before he realized it.
“You’re not a—!” Mikey tried, but had to cut himself off to try to swallow back the tears. It didn’t work. “You’re not a burden, or a problem we gotta solve, Leo! You’re something special I want to take care of. I took you to Draxum because I didn’t want to lose you. But… I feel like I’m losing you anyway. I want my big brother back.”
His thumbs rubbed circles against the back of Leo’s hands. “My big and loud one. The one who tells me when I’m doing something wrong, who fights back. Who’ll tell me when I’m being stupid, especially when I’m not listening to anyone else. Who, if I said we were gonna do something fun, would’ve held me to it. Okay? That’s who I want.”
“I can’t be that right now,” Leo argued, starting to pull back. For once, Mikey let him go without complaint. He wouldn’t trap Leo again. “I can’t— I can’t be who you want. Not right now.”
“Okay.” Mikey agreed, a bit numbly, because his heart couldn’t break any more than it already was. “That’s okay. I don’t— I don’t want to lose you, Leo. So I’m gonna— I’m going to change, I promise. No more forcing you into places where you feel unsafe. No longer trying to get you and Draxum to make up. I’m going to keep you happy and healthy, okay?”
Leo bobbed his head. He didn’t say anything.
But that was okay. Mikey wasn’t ever going to force him to do anything he didn’t want to. Not ever again. He was going to do better. Even if Leo became himself again, if he was just as bright as before, Mikey would never force that on him.
He would protect his spark, his flicker of candlelight. He won’t let himself add to that darkness again.
Never again.